Gosh I feel like it's been ages since I sat at this space and just let myself pour into it. Our vacation really threw me off, and as refreshing as it was, I'm so happy to be back home and in my normal routine! I want to share a little bit about what's been on my heart lately, and then I'm gonna dump the best photos from our trip!
So, right before Christmas, my dad called me and asked me if Brian and I would be willing to bump our planned March trip to California up to January. He offered to pay for our plane tickets if we did. Obviously we took him up on his offer! He booked us for two whole weeks and the trip was fairly last-minute, so the whole thing was one big blur to me.
I have to say that I hated flying with the kids, and would absolutely choose the twenty-two hours of driving that we did with them over the 4+ hours of flying and the layover each way. Emmett is just at the worst age for being forced to sit in one spot for that long, and he was screeching and frustrated and miserable for most of the flight time, despite all the things we did to prepare. Our kids just love the car and do so well in it, I think we'll commit to road tripping back home every six months for now, and revisit the flight idea when Emmett is older.
I was apprehensive about going back. I was worried about how being back there and spending time with friends and family would make me feel. I thought maybe being back where things are comfortable would cause me to hate our decision to move, and dread coming back to Arkansas.
I was very wrong about that.
Going back was so fun, so refreshing, so comforting, but somehow I felt even more confident about our move, and after the first week I couldn't wait to get back home. I saw California as a wonderful place full of people and places I love that I get to visit every six months and take a break from the rhythm of daily life. I loved the beach and breathed it in so deep, but when I walked back to the car with the waves at my back, I was okay. I was thinking of how good it would feel to go home and see the mountains again. I didn't look over my shoulder like I did when I walked away four months ago. I didn't need to, and that felt good.
One of the things I realized while there, is that I haven't been truly settling into our new home yet. The first three months were at first total chaos, and then anxiety coupled with a lack of action. I wasn't really committed to new friendships, to my area, to making Arkansas our home like I did when we lived in California. I realized that it's time to bury my feet in the ground, put down some roots, dive into friendships and homeschooling and church, and start living here. Exploring the area isn't enough, I have to treat this place like home because it is! This is where God has led us and I don't know how long He will have us here, so I need to be all in.
I can wait patiently for our next trip to Cali. I can look forward to my toes in the sand and my family surrounding me again, but I don't feel like I'm hanging onto the life I had there while physically standing on new soil. I feel present and settled and at peace. I feel ready to live.