I've felt how you do before, friend. You're tired, burnt out, defeated, unsure how you're going to get out of this rut.
. Maybe you find yourself yelling way more than you'd like to admit. Maybe you just aren't really joyful in your role as Mom right now. Maybe you're surviving rather than thriving, and you can't see a light at the end of this lonely tunnel.
We go through seasons, and I will surely find myself in a darker place again one day, but right now I'm writing this for you from the other side, from the light you hope is there but can't see. I have come through the pit of depression and been through the drudge of the mundane.
There was a time when it seemed like every step I took was wrong, every time I chose joy and tried to be the good mom, the happy mom, I would make mistake after mistake after mistake. I just wanted the days to pass by so that I could sleep, so that I could see my husband and hear the quiet of nighttime. Mother's Day came, and I didn't feel very worthy of being celebrated. It didn't seem right to spend a whole day celebrating what I was doing.
I didn't feel any purpose in my motherhood.
To be honest, most days I felt like all I was doing right was making my kids some food and making sure they stayed alive.
Let me tell you something, friend...
The reason you feel so tired and defeated is because of what you are giving of yourself for your family- and that deserves honoring.
You are serving your family.
You are loving your kids unconditionally as only a mom can do.
You are the heart of your home.
And whether you feel like you're at your best or not doesn't matter. You're here, you're trying.
You need to believe that there is grace for you, that God can bridge the gaps caused by your humanity. You need to believe that you deserve to be fussed over, to be served breakfast, to be given sweet handmade trinkets and cards, to be taken to lunch and hugged and kissed. You deserve celebration just as much as the mom who is in her best season of motherhood. You deserve to have a day dedicated to what you do... don't rob yourself of that. Let this Mother's Day bring you joy, be a deep breath for you, and remind you why you do what you do. Your weariness makes perfect sense, and this day is well-deserved. Let go of the shame in your life and embrace the love waiting for you today.
Happy Mother's Day, sweet mama. Today is for you.