You know that feeling when you fall into a funk midday. Maybe the morning sucked. Maybe it just hasn't been a great day and you fall into this place of “blah.” All you really want to do is eat candy, sit down and Netflix hard. You feel like this and you really don’t know why. As moms, we have things that really need to get done. We have to make sure everything is functioning. We've got a lot on our plates and it's important that we're energized and ready to take it on. But sometimes when we're just not feeling it and if we give in to those feelings, things may fall apart and our family will definitely feel that. I have developed some things that helped pull me out of that midday funk state of mind. Because that's really all it is; it's a state of mind! I am so excited to share my tips with you and hope you find them helpful when you find yourself in a midday funk!
In This Episode, Allie Discusses:
The importance in recognizing that a midday funk is a state of mind and that you can totally do things to change it.
How to create a fresh start for yourself in the middle of the day.
The control that you have in how you respond to the external things that are outside of your control.
Ways you can avoid falling into the temptation of things that don’t serve you well during a midday funk (ex. Netflix, emotional eating, etc.)
The freedom that comes from realizing that every single thing about your life right now is just a season. This funk will pass.
Mentioned in this Episode:
This is one of my favorite free downloads! It's basically a list of the things you can do to pull out of a midday funk. It has a list of my favorite happy dance songs, a list of my favorite scriptures and affirmations for a bad day, and three links to funny videos if you need to laugh in the middle of a bad day! I really think it's going to help you guys!
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Mom life. We are surrounded with the message that it’s the tired life. The no-time-for-myself life. The hard life. And while it is hard and full of lots of servitude, the idea that motherhood means a joyless life is something I am passionate about putting a stop to. I’m on a mission to help you stop counting down the minutes till bedtime, at least most days. I want you to stop cleaning up after your kid’s childhood and start being present for it. Start enjoying it. I believe in John 10:10 “that we are called to abundant life” and i know mothers are not excluded from that promise. Join me in conversations about simplicity, minimalism and lots of other good stuff that leads to a life of less for the sake of enjoying more in your motherhood. I’m Allie Casazza and this is the The Purpose Show.
Hey friends! Welcome to another episode of The Purpose Show.
I am going to talk today about that feeling when you fall into a funk midday. Maybe the morning sucked. Maybe it just hasn't been a great day and you fall into this place of Blah. All you really want to do is eat candy (maybe that’s just me), sit down and Netflix hard. You feel Blah and you don't really even know why. You fall into a rut in the middle of the day.
I'm just going to call it a funk, but I think we all relate. We all know what I'm talking about. Maybe there’s a nutrition reason for it, but you run out of energy and feel bummed out. You don't feel like doing what you have to do the rest of the day.
I think most of it is probably just repetitiveness. You have your things to do and you're just doing your mom thing. Maybe you work, maybe you don't. Maybe you're at home or out, whatever. But wherever you are and whatever your lifestyle is, I think sometimes we fall into this place of getting in a little rut. Sometimes they can even last longer than a day.
I want to talk about getting into that midday funk where you feel, “Yuck! I can't go on.” You don't want to do what you have to do. The thought of making dinner and getting the kids homework going just makes you cringe. You just don't even know how you're going to do it. We're going to talk about that today.
I have some things that I want to say first.
First of all, this happens to me still. In the past, I thought that it was because of my lifestyle. You know, I was a stay at home mom. I didn't really have much of an outlet outside of that. My husband, Brian, was working crazy long hours and the day was just so long. I had to wake up in the morning and start the day with the kids by myself because Brian was already gone. Or he would travel for work trips pretty often, so he may have been out of state or something. And then I had to do the entire day - dinner cleanup, baths and bedtime routine, getting the kids in bed, all of it – all by myself. And it was really hard.
There's a lot of other things that are way harder than that. But that was really hard for me, especially in this season that we were in. Financial struggles that were super heavy. Our kids were very young and little and we were in the “having babies” stage of parenthood.
I was often pregnant and tired and it was a really tough time. And I thought it was just because of that.
But, you know, now Brian and I have worked hard for years to get to our version of “an abundant, flourishing life” where he has left his job and we work together every day. We homeschool the kids and our family is together a lot. We don't have to work crazy hours doing something that we don't like or on something that doesn't feel purposeful. Everything is a lot simpler and definitely easier and happier.
But I still get like that sometimes. Doing the same things again and again, no matter what your situation is, no matter what your finances look like, no matter what excess stressors you have on your plate, I think just being a mom and doing the same kind of things throughout your days gets you down.
I developed some things, especially back in the time that I was just talking about of my stay-at-home motherhood, that really helped me cope with that. The fact is stay-at-home mom or not, I have things that are my responsibility. I have things that really need to get done. I am an important person in my family and you are too. We've got things we've got to do. We've got to provide food for the kids. We've got to cook it, we've got to serve it. We've got to make sure everything is functioning. Most moms are the backbones of their families. We've got a lot on our plates and it's important that we're energized and ready to take it on.
Sometimes when we're just not feeling it, if we give in to those feelings and give in to that, “Oh, I'm just exhausted” and we just don't do it, it kinda sucks. Things will fall apart. Our family will definitely feel it.
I definitely think there's some days where you need to throw in the towel, order some pizza, call it a night and go ahead and just relax. Maybe you need to snuggle up with your kids and turn on some Netflix that you can all enjoy. Just sit together and “be”, and let the house go for tonight. I definitely think there's a time for that.
But sometimes you just can't and you really need to suck it up and keep going. That was my situation. It is now still, but especially back in my stay-at-home mom days. It was hard. I needed to keep going and I felt like I couldn't.
So, I developed some things that helped me pull out of that midday blah funk state of mind because that's really all it is. It's a state of mind. And I think that's actually the first thing I want to talk about. If you just realize that the state of mind, it takes away a lot of the power from it. Realizing that this is just how I'm feeling. This isn't actually happening me. It's not a fact or reality. It's just a state of mind where I'm at right now, mentally and I can do something to change it.
Step one, realize that it is a state of mind. Realize this is just how you're feeling and you can totally do things to change it.
Something must have happened, whether it's really blatant and you totally can name it, (well my kid did this, or this broke, this got ruined and that ruined my day), or you can't really name it. You just don't feel great. Whatever it is, realizing that something caused your state of mind to shift to this funky place, that's a really good place to start.
Another tip that I would have for when this happens is changing your scenery. Go for a walk, with the kids if you have to. Pack up the kids in the stroller. Let them get their scooters or bikes or just walk or run in front of you. Get out of the house. Change your scenery. Go for a walk.
Take a drive. That's another really good one. What I always loved about taking a drive is that the kids are strapped into their car seats so it's better than a walk because they're not running around crazy. They can't really move. They're in their seats and that's that. You can blast some music, roll the windows down, let it out, sing, and get out of the house. Feel the wind on your face. Just be out and not have to worry about your kids. Bonus if you have a TV in your car. Turn the TV on for them and just think. Be by yourself. Listen to a podcast with one ear bud in or something like that.
Get out of where you're at, wherever you are. When you're feeling that you've got that mid-day slump happening, get out of it and change the scenery. Go do something else.
I think walking is really beneficial. The act of moving, getting the blood pumping through your legs, getting out and walking is really good, but it can sometimes be more stress than it's worth.
I recently saw that a mom tagged me in a post where she was saying that she was really having a rough day. She wanted to hit the refresh button. She walked around her driveway. She was listening to the podcast and pacing around her driveway because she just needed a break. She needed to get out. She needed a change of scenery. She was having that midday slump and she needed some inspiration. She put the kids down for a nap and she walked around her driveway. I think it's really cool because she took action.
She did what she had to do. She took care of herself and changed her scenery. She knew what she needed and she went and made it happen. Instead of letting it be an excuse, “Well, I'm here with the kids and I can't leave. I can't wake them up. This sucks. I'm just going to watch Netflix.”
She was proactive. She listened to The Purpose Show. She got some inspiration and encouragement. She walked around, but she was still near her kids where they were safe. She fixed her problem.
Sometimes, we just need a change of scenery. We don't realize we have been home all week, all day just doing the same thing again and again. Break it up. Forget the chores. Leave the dishes for a second. Go and change your scenery.
The next thing I want to talk about is how getting into a midday slump is a state of mind.
I want to talk to you about something that's really powerful. I've mentioned this a couple of times elsewhere, but this may be new for you. It's been so powerful for me and every time somebody hears about it, they say the same thing and that it really blew their mind.
Speaking of state of mind, I think we always get into this place of “Oh, tomorrow will be a fresh start. Tomorrow's a new day. I'll start this diet tomorrow. I will get caught up on the housework. It will be better. I just need to sleep tonight.” Or whatever. We get into this “tomorrow mindset” and that's exactly what it is. Tomorrow has a mindset of its own. Tomorrow has its own state of mind. Who's to say that you can't just “borrow” the state of mind of “tomorrow” and create that fresh start for yourself anytime you need it.
Have a fresh start in the middle of the day. You can create that for yourself. The sun does not have to set and then re-rise for you to have a fresh start. You can take the mindset of tomorrow and have a second start of your day right in the middle of the day. I used to do this all the time. Sometimes I still do. It's super helpful.
What is it about tomorrow that gives you a “fresh start” state of mind. How can you capture that? Maybe you get the kids busy for a second and you go sit in your closet and just breathe deeply. Say a prayer. Think about all that’s happened during the day that's made it a totally sucky day and let it go. Look at it, acknowledged that it happened, and then just let that issue go.
Stand up. Shake yourself off. Put a little more mascara on. Go downstairs and get your stuff done because it is a new day because you needed to be a new day and you're calling it. It is a new day. I have a fresh start. You're taking that mindset of tomorrow's fresh start and implementing it now when you really need it.
I was talking to my mom about this before I recorded this episode. We were having this conversation back and forth about when you get in that midday slump as a mom, especially when your kids are young. She was talking about something else I think is really powerful and that is realizing that you can't really control what's going on on the outside. I mean, in some ways you can, but not really. But you have complete control over what's going on inside of you and what your response to things is.
I know that may sound a little cliché and kind of annoying when you're having a hard day. “You have full control over how you're responding to this.” It can be really irritating. But really, that's empowering and doesn't have to be irritating. It can be super empowering and encouraging. Realize that this day has not gone very well. This happened. That happened. Those are all things that I didn't have control over. Maybe you did and you can realize that. If your child is having a meltdown or something tipped over and broke, you can't control those things. They already happened.
You can control how you respond. You don't have to let it upset you. You can talk yourself “off the ledge” so to speak. I think a lot of these things are realizing this is just a state of mind. This is how I'm feeling right now. This isn't my actual reality. This is how I'm feeling right now.
These things going on are outside of my control. I can only control my responses. I'm going to choose to respond positively. You know what? This has been a totally crap day. We’re going to bag it, throw it out and hit the restart button right now. It is now a new day starting now. Then, move forward and continue to stay in that mindfulness and that place of positive responding no matter what else happens during your day.
Then also realizing that this whole thing is temporary. Every single thing about your life right now is just a season. Your marriage will shift and everything will ebb and flow, so if you're having a hard time and it is a bad state in your marriage, it will change.
Things are always changing. Your kids will get older. Things will get easier in some ways and harder in other ways. Everything about your life is just a season. I think we get so caught up in the little bubble of our current reality that we burn out. We forget that there is a much bigger picture, a much bigger world, a much bigger purpose happening here. As much as today might suck, it is totally temporary. Everything about our life right now is just a season and it's going to shift.
What are the good things about this season? What can you choose to enjoy? What can you be acknowledging that this is a season and then be super grateful for that and dreaming of the day where you can let it go, like maybe you’re potty training or something like that. Just that realization can be really huge.
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Another thing I want to say is find the funny in whatever is happening. I love to do this. I don't really think of myself as a very funny person, but I love to laugh. I only watch funny TV shows. I love to laugh. I love making other people laugh. I love being sarcastic and getting people to see the irony in things and just make them giggle. I love it.
A lot of the time if you are having a totally bad day, stop for a second and look around. Maybe your toddler's running through the house and he doesn't have any pants or underwear on. That's special. How did that even happen?
Maybe your baby woke up from his nap. He had gotten into his diaper and there's poop smeared all over his crib. There's Cheerios spilled downstairs. You haven't done the laundry in a week and everything is completely crazy.
Just stand there and legit crack up at the reality of your life. Honestly, motherhood is so hilarious. There are so many things that are just taken as normal because it's “mom life.” If you really stop, stand back and look at it, it is so freaking funny. Laugh at whatever is happening, if you can at all. Laughter is the best medicine, right?
If you have a little humor, it makes you such a good mom. Laugh if you can at all. Look at the funny and find it in whatever is happening around you.
And then I also want to say, OK, this is big for me, like preaching to myself here. Whatever you’re tempted to do when you're in a mid-day slump or you're finding yourself in that weird, yuck, blah, funk state of mind, it probably doesn't serve you.
So for me, I'm always tempted to emotional eat. Emotional eating. Grab some junk food, candy or something that's not good for me. Then plop on the couch, watch Netflix and let the kids go play. That sounded bad like a terrible mom, but you guys know what I mean?
Basically, you're avoiding problems. Look at the situation. If you feel really “Yuck! I just can’t do this day. I don't know how I'm going to go all the way till bedtime by myself. I just can't do this. I'm just so done. I'm so exhausted. What is it that you are tempted to do? Is it to binge eat? Is it watching Netflix? Is it to avoid your problems? What is your natural reaction? Don't do that.
Realize what it is. Realize what you actually want. You want to avoid your problems and just start over tomorrow. You also want an endorphin rush. This is what has helped me with emotional eating, which I'll talk about another episode. But what you really want is an endorphin rush.
When you give into emotional eating, when you plop down on the couch, ignore all the stuff, veg out, and turn on Netflix, you're giving yourself an endorphin rush. If that's what your body needs right now because it's just feeling blah, how can you get that in a productive way?
I'm going to say something here, so if you've got littles listening turn it down or something, but there are a couple ways to get an endorphin rush when you really need it.
First of all, eat something healthy instead and drink a butt-load of water.
Go for a run even in your house. Do high knees and jog with high knees through your house. Your kids will think you're psychotic and they'll get a kick out of it. You get that exercise endorphin rush.
Sex. You can have a nooner, go for it girl. You do you.
Get that endorphin rush in a way that is going to be protective, helpful and serve you because that's what it really is.
Realizing… What I am tempted to do right now is (insert whatever you're tempted to do).
Using my examples. For me, I just want to be, “I'm starving. I'm done. This day sucks. I don't have the energy to do this day. I just want to go and get Del Taco for everybody for dinner so I don't have to cook, binge eat a Burrito and fries and then turn on The Office on Netflix. Let the kids play in the backyard and just forget everything else I need to do today.” I'm avoiding my problems and I want an endorphin rush because I'm feeling blah.
Turn it around on its head. How can you get that in a productive way? If you need to take a cat nap, take a nap. Set a timer for 25 minutes. A 20-minute nap is scientifically proven to really help you in the middle of your day.
Actually, if you like coffee, drink a cup of coffee and then take a 20-minute nap and that is apparently like a powder keg of re-energizing yourself. I do it all the time and it really works. Do that.
Take care of yourself; I'm not saying to just plow through. But look at what you're really wanting in the “psych part.” What do I really need here?
Find a healthier way to get that.
So I can't believe I said nooner on my podcast. Can we just acknowledge for a second that I said that?
Anyway, you guys can see what I mean. You can turn this around any way you want. If you wanna just take a walk. If you need to work out. If you need to do Yoga. If you need to turn on some loud music and have a dance party. Find a way to get the endorphin rush. Find a way to avoid your problems temporarily and then come back to it through a nap or something.
Look at the heart of what it is that you are tempted to do because this day is not going well. Look at why you want to do it and then find a better way to get that.
The dance party example leads right into my next tip, which is call a total time out with your kids. Blast the happiest music you can find and have a living room dance party.
This seriously, feels like the last thing you want to do when you're in a midday funk, but it's so good for you. It's so good for your kids. It's so good for you guys as a family. “You know what I am just calling a timeout. Guys, this day is not going well for us. Everyone's attitude is just in the tank. We've got a lot to do. Mommy is tired and cranky and I want to go get a Burrito, but I shouldn't do that. So, we're going to turn on some good old- fashioned vintage Taylor Swift and we're going to have a dance party and go for it.”
I actually created a really fun free download for you guys that goes with this episode. In it I list my favorite living room dance party songs. So, if you need suggestions, you can find them there. And I'll tell you guys where to find that at the end of this episode.
So anyway, super fun. It really helps. You’re getting that exercise and you're getting an endorphin rush. You can feel it. If you guys have Alexa in your house, turn her all the way up to volume 10 and ask her to play your favorite dance party song. It just reverberates in the whole house. It's super fun. It's just so freeing. So good. It's a really good break in the day. Super fun. Just know it's totally normal if you're like “this is literally the last thing I feel like doing right now.” Do it anyway. It's good for you.
The next thing I want to say is maybe a little bit more practical. Look at your to do list and take something off of it. For example, maybe you can order out instead of cooking; just get something healthy, if you are a binge eater.
Simplify whatever you can about your day. Look at it. What really has to get done today?
I just did this yesterday. I was coming off a really productive week. Then I had a restful weekend. My Monday was going OK, but I just felt blah around 11:00 AM. I still had to homeschool the kids. I still had seven big work tasks to knockout and it wasn’t going to happen. I looked at my to-do list and I found three things that just really didn't need to be done that day. And I let them go. I pushed them to other days. I took a coffee nap and I did the other things and it was fine.
So how can you do that? Is there anything that does not absolutely have to get done today? How can you simplify your to do list? If there's nothing, then find a way to simplify the things that have to happen.
Take the dinner example, you have to feed your family. You can't let that go. Right? But you can simplify the way it's done though. You can let them have a cereal night. You can order take out. You can go out to eat. Find a way to simplify what it is that's left for your day.
The next thing is read scripture or positive affirmations or words to literally change your mentality in the moment. You guys know if you've been around me or listen to the show for more than two seconds, how big I am on the power of what you think and what you say.
Use this to your advantage. Again, in the download that goes with this episode, I've got a list of a few of my favorite things to read or say out loud when I get like this. Use it.
Read powerful scripture.
Come up with something positive. “This is just a state of mind. It's just how I'm feeling. This isn't a reality. My reality is abundant. Look at these precious babies around me that are making me want to go crazy and lay in the street until the bus comes by. They're beautiful people though and I love them. This life is so good. I'm just overwhelmed right now.”
Speak life and call it like it is. Change the story you're telling yourself about your situation.
The last thing that I used to do, still do and would encourage you to do when you're in a midday slump is watch a funny video for a minute.
It's a total mood lift. Again, I’m linking to my favorite ones in the free download in the show notes. Oh my gosh. There is this one where, oh my gosh, you just have to go see it. There are a handful of videos that I have saved on my YouTube app on my phone. I will literally go and just open it up and watch one of those. Total mood lift. It's hilarious.
If you can't find the funny in whatever's going on in your life, find the funny somewhere else. Watch a video that just makes you crack up every time. Everybody has videos that they think are extra, super hilarious, but nobody else really gets. Find those and save them for yourself. Save the links to those videos in your notes app on your phone for easy access. Find a way to laugh and give yourself that happy that you need today.
OK, so this download that goes with this episode is one of my favorites. Don't be offended by what I titled it. I had to. It works and it’s perfect and amazing.
The next time your day totally goes to hell in a handbasket, look at this list. It's basically a list of the things that I told you today in the podcast. I know that you listened to the podcast and it's encouraging and inspiring, but then you kind of forget about it.
It's a printed out list of all the tips I gave you. It has a list of my favorite happy dance songs, a list of my favorite scriptures and affirmations for a bad day, and three links to funny videos if you need to laugh in the middle of a bad day. It's totally free. Just click the button and get it there. It's great. I really think it's going to help you guys.
I hope that you all feel like you are not alone when you get into that mid-day slump state of mind. It's so normal. We all get like that. Sometimes you have to accept that it is what it is and do what you can to respond to it better instead of wishing that you didn't struggle with that. Or beating yourself up for feeling blah when you have such a great life. It's OK. We all get like that.
I really hope this helps you guys and be encouraged. I love you guys. I love sitting here and talking into my microphone encouraging you.
I will talk to you next time.
This was an episode of The Purpose Show. Did you know there is an exclusive community created solely for the purpose of continuing discussions surrounding The Purpose Show episodes? And to get you to actually take action and make positive changes on the things that you learn here? Go be a part of it. To join go to facebook.com/groups/purposefulmamas.
Thank you so much for tuning in. If you are ready to uplevel and really take action on the things I talk about on my show, and get step-by-step help from me, head to alliecasazza.com. There are free downloads, courses, classes, and ways to learn more about what the next step might look like for you and to focus on whatever you might need help with in whatever season you are in right now.
I am always rooting for you, friend!
See ya next time!
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