Ep 120: Girl Talk with Bella

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I get a lot of questions about how my family—especially my kids—feel about minimalism, my business, and how we live simply. I’ve had a lot of requests for a family-style interview. And I’m so excited for this episode because I’m sitting down with my ten-year-old daughter, Bella, and we’re having a fun girl-talk about our family, our way of living, and what she thinks about it all. Plus, you’ll get to hear a little bit about the business she’s starting as well. This is going to be so fun!

 
 

In This Episode Allie & Bella Discuss:

  • Bella’s favorite thing about their family and what she likes to do the most

  • The best thing about being homeschooled

  • What Bella knows about the family business and what she thinks about it

  • Bella’s jump into entrepreneurship and the business she’s starting

  • What Bella wishes parents and kids knew about minimalism

Mentioned in this Episode:


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In today’s world, kids have so much stuff. Toys all over the house. Dressers and closets full of clothes.

If it’s overwhelming for you, it’s definitely too much for them.

Uncluttered Kids is a collaboration with Amy Tirpak, a clinical social worker with a focus in play therapy with children. It combines my expertise in practical minimalism for moms with Amy’s psychotherapy background to bring minimalism to your family in a positive, life-giving way.


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Mom life. We are surrounded with the message that it’s the tired life. The no-time-for-myself life. The hard life. And while it is hard and full of lots of servitude, the idea that motherhood means a joyless life is something I am passionate about putting a stop to. I’m on a mission to help you stop counting down the minutes till bedtime, at least most days. I want you to stop cleaning up after your kid’s childhood and start being present for it. Start enjoying it. I believe in John 10:10 “that we are called to abundant life” and I know mothers are not excluded from that promise. Join me in conversations about simplicity, minimalism and lots of other good stuff that leads to a life of less for the sake of enjoying more in your motherhood. I’m Allie Casazza and this is The Purpose Show.


ALLIE: Hi, beautiful friends! Welcome to The Purpose Show!

This episode is really, really special because Bella is here with me. Say hi, Bella.

BELLA:  Hi!

ALLIE: Bella is my daughter, if you're new here, and she's 10. When's your birthday?

BELLA: February 8th?

ALLIE: 7th. We have a lot of February birthdays in the family though, so that's probably why you got it mixed up.

Okay, so here's what we're doing today. We have a big list of questions from things that you guys have wanted to know about for a family-style interview. So, Bella and I thought we'd make it a girl-talk episode, and we’d just let her answer and have conversations together about all of these great questions. Ready?

BELLA: Yeah.

ALLIE: Okay. All right.

Question number one: What's your favorite thing about our family?

BELLA: You’re a good mom and dad, and you take care of us.

ALLIE: The basics?

BELLA:  Yeah.  

ALLIE: That's a good answer.

I think we were just talking about this in the car earlier, but I like how we do a lot of things together. We do almost everything together, but we also have our own separate ambitions and things, like I have my business and you are starting your business. You love to draw by yourself. Leland likes to play Legos by himself. But we all like doing everything together.

BELLA: That’s what I like. We all have our own ‘personal stuff’ thing.

ALLIE: Yeah, me too.

What's your favorite thing that you and me do together?

BELLA: Girl time. Go to the nail salon. Go to coffee shops and just have a girl day.

ALLIE: Oh, yeah, me too. We need to do that soon too. It's been a couple of weeks. When we go to the coffee shop, do you like getting the lemonade or the chocolate milk better?

BELLA: I think the lemonade.

ALLIE: Yeah. Especially in the summer.

What's your favorite thing to do with dad?

BELLA: I like helping him out without the boys, like going somewhere with him.

ALLIE: Yeah. Like when you guys go run an errand together and he just takes you?

BELLA: Yeah.

ALLIE: That’s sweet.

This is a fun question: What's your favorite trip that we've ever taken? We’ve been a lot of places.

BELLA: Probably the museum of dinosaur fossils. That was so fun!

ALLIE: Really? A day trip? Not even like Florida or Nashville?

BELLA: No, I liked the museum. It was so cool.

ALLIE: Kids are simple, folks. I love that you love that. That was such a fun day. It was so cool.

BELLA: That was the coolest thing I have ever seen.

ALLIE: I know we should go back there. We live right next to it.

Okay. Here’s a good question: What do you like about being homeschooled?

BELLA: I like that we don't have to go to a regular school. We never got to see the family. I like that we get to do trips whenever we want. We have family time all the time and we get to do school whenever we want.

ALLIE: True. And just have a relaxing day or go do something fun.

Okay. People want to know what is it like having three brothers younger than you?

BELLA:  I think it’s great because I like helping you and dad out with them because they're little. And one day I'm going to babysit them, and I just like it.

ALLIE: You like that? Even though Leland's only two years younger than you, do you still feel like he's way little?

BELLA: I like to spend time with him because he's the oldest boy and he understands things.

ALLIE: Yeah. You guys are like besties.

BELLA: And Emmett and Hudson both like Spiderman and they just get along together so much.

ALLIE: So, do you kind of feel like you and Leland group off usually, and then Hudson and Emmett group off usually?

BELLA: Yeah.

ALLIE: Yeah. That's so cute.

Do you like being the oldest or do you sometimes wish that you were in a different place in the family?

BELLA: I like being the oldest. I think it's fun.

ALLIE: Yeah, you're good at it.

This is a fun question. I'm going to want to know the answer to this. What do you think about my business and what I do? What do you know about it or think about it?

BELLA: I just think about how cool your business is because you have so much stuff and I like looking at it all, and it's so cool.

ALLIE: Which stuff?

BELLA: The videos.

ALLIE:  The content that I make? Like the videos and the podcast and all the pictures that we get to take?

BELLA:  Yeah. I love the pictures with me and you in it.

ALLIE: Me too. I love it when we have a photo shoot day.

BELLA: Like on Instagram where we take a selfie in the middle of nowhere.

ALLIE: Me too. I love it. And I love how whenever we take a selfie we always have to shift or move around cause there's always a half-naked boy in the background.

BELLA:  Or the sunlight.

ALLIE: Remember earlier when we were taking a picture and dad was right in the background, right in the way every time we moved?

BELLA: And then the boys were like, “Can I be in it?”

ALLIE: Yeah, and I was like, “No! No, I have to take one with Bella.”

BELLA: And they were like, “Can we just please have one picture?”

ALLIE: I know, and they are all like butt-hurt in the corner.

Okay. Let's see. Can you talk a little bit about the business that you're starting? Everybody's been super curious about that.

BELLA: Okay, so I've been thinking about it a lot. I was just thinking like all the things I wanted to draw, like T-rex—I'm really good at it—Horses and wolves.

ALLIE: And you’re so good at painting.

BELLA: Just like canvases. Like painting a sunset on the beach is like the thing I've always wanted to paint.

ALLIE: Hmm, so you're going to paint on the professional canvases and make something?

BELLA: So, me and you could have a beach day and whenever the sun's setting, I get my canvas out and just like paint the sunset. That would be really, really cool.

ALLIE: That’s amazing. Yes. That is so amazing.

So, what made you think about starting a business like that? Instead of just saying like, “I want to paint.” What made you think, “I'm gonna make a business out of painting?”

BELLA: I wanted to just be like you. Cause I've always wanted a business and I didn't want to wait so long to be like 30 years old. So, I just wanted to do it. And live the life of having a business. When I get older my art's going to look really realistic. That’s what I always think.

ALLIE: Oh, totally. And just do it. Just start. Don't let something get in your way. Don't think, “Oh, I'm just too young. I have to wait till I'm an adult.” Forget that; you can start now.

BELLA: I'm glad I'm young and I'm doing it because not a lot of kids have businesses like this when they're like my age.

ALLIE: Yeah, absolutely. You're being different. You're being an action-taking, problem-solving woman, right?

BELLA: Yeah.

ALLIE: Ooh, this is a good one. What's the hardest part about starting your business so far?

BELLA: Just all the things you said were really hard. Like it's gonna take a while and saving my money for all the paints that are so expensive. That's just the hard part. But the other stuff is all like, “I'm excited for this! It's going to happen.”

ALLIE: Yes! It is going to happen, and we will speak that out.

Do you mean the hard stuff like when we were talking the other day about like, ‘okay, we have to finish the website, get a blog post up, all that stuff?’ Just the long list?

BELLA: All the videos…

ALLIE: Of teaching kids how to paint? Yes. But we can do it, and we're going to do it.

BELLA: Yes.

ALLIE:  All right, next question. What do you think people don't understand about minimalism and how we kind of live with just less stuff? Do you think there's anything people just don't understand?

BELLA: Ok, some people they either love their kids and they want to buy them everything they want or they don't even care what they're doing. They don't even know what they're doing. They're just going to Target in the toys section and getting their kids the biggest Batman set ever. And then they're like, “Why did I just buy this?”  And they just keep doing it. And then they're house is full of toys. Every corner is filled with Batman action figures and stuff.

And I like that we're different, and we don't have a lot of stuff. And if I want to save my money for something, I donate stuff that I don't need anymore, and I save a bunch of space.

ALLIE: So, do you think that people get in the habit of buying too much stuff and they don't understand that they just need to break the habit.

BELLA: Yeah. And the kids somehow get them to do it. I mean when you're a little kid and you want baby toys, that's fine, just get a few. When you get older, like Leland’s age or something, you can save your money for your own stuff. You're not a little kid. You're a nine-year-old who is not a baby and you can save your money.

ALLIE: Take responsibility if you want to get something. You do a really good job at that. If you really want something, you will look at it on Amazon, you'll know exactly how much money you need, and you will do extra jobs. You'll ask Meme and Poppy if they have things you could do at their house to make money. You'll just get a dollar here and there until you earn it and then you always are so good about donating stuff. I don't even have to ask you because you get it. You understand that less stuff means less cleaning and you don't want to clean up toys all day. Right?

BELLA: No, I don't. And I love putting all my favorite stuffies on my bed. I make it like all my pillows in the front. I have a tiger one, and I put my panther stuffy, and then on the foot area I have two blankets, and then I put all my other ones down there.

ALLIE: You are a cozy bed-dweller. You make it so cozy. When I come in and check on you, I'm like, “I want to be in there!” Plus, Pete goes in there with you.

BELLA: Yes, I have a little spot for him. A little blanket with a little string that hangs down for him to play with. He loves snuggling with you.


Hey friends, I just want to pop in and make sure you are aware of what is about to come from me next. I am so, so, so excited to finally be able to let you in on this. This has been such a long time coming and such a beautiful work in progress for many, many months and it's finally time to bring you into this.

I'm creating a new program called Uncluttered Kids and it is exactly what it sounds like. It's everything about minimalism, simplified living, and intentional living for you as a mother and you to your kids.

I'm working with Amy Tirpak. She has a Masters degree in social work and she's specialized in children and youth. She is a licensed independent clinical social worker. She just has so much expertise under her belt and we worked together to really bring you a strategic, detailed, incredibly powerful program on how to talk to your kids about minimalism and simplicity.

We talk all the time about the benefits of this lifestyle for your kids and how it raises grateful kids, kids who are not focused on material things, who know how to have conversations, who have creativity and really vivid, wild imaginations who actually know how to play. It just really breeds a beautiful childhood and really, I think, strong, confident adults who know who they are. I've seen this in my kids so far. My oldest is 10, and we've got a long way to go.

I want to help you breed this relationship with your kids, and their relationship with each other, with other people, and with themselves, for them to know what they're good at, what their gifts are, where their creativity lies. It's so, so powerful. And I really wanted to create something that specifically helped you have this happen for your kids and in your family.

Amy is just a genius. We worked together on this. It's such an amazing program.

It is officially launched. And to celebrate that Amy and I are hosting a live, free workshop you can come to and we are going to talk all about minimalism and kids. It's going to be so good. We can't wait to see you there.

Go to alliecasazza.com/kidsclass to sign up. Again, the class is totally free.

We'll teach you some really solid things that are going to help you get started with this or better at this as you talk to your kids about this if you're already living this way and you just want to get deeper into this. Or maybe you've hit some hurdles and you need help with that.

We're going to help you with all of it and we'll tell you all about the new Uncluttered Kids program and you can see if it's for you.

We love you guys. I'm here for you. I want to continue to help you and this is the next step in where we're heading in the business, in my platform, and in my tribe. I want you to be a part of this.

Some of the psych stuff with kids, minimalism and implementing this stuff can get really dicey and tricky, and sometimes minimalism can feel like you're punishing your kids for no reason and that's just a really bad sign. It means that something's not right.

I want to help you implement this in a really positive way. We talk about kids with special needs, kids who have experienced trauma, the five different types of kid personalities and how to relate to the message of minimalism to each one of them. There's a quiz to help you just understand your child better. It's so, so good! So in depth.

I can't wait to unveil this to you guys and have you get in there. I definitely want to see you at the class.

alliecasazza.com/kidsclass. Sign up for free. We'll see you there!


ALLIE: Oh, this is a good question. Do you remember the time in our lives when we had a ton of stuff in that old house when I was really overwhelmed and I spent a lot of time in bed…the part of my story that I always talk about? Do you even remember that, or do you not really?

BELLA: Like when dad was at work or something?

ALLIE: Not that—but that is a question on here—but more like when you were little. You were like 2-3 and I really was struggling. Hudson was just born and we had a house full of clutter and toys.

BELLA: I remember when he was little. Yeah, I think I remember that.

ALLIE: Do you feel…what do you think about that time?

BELLA: That was probably stressful for you. I feel bad for you.

ALLIE: You feel bad for me? I feel bad for me too. Rough days.

Okay, well perfect. This is the next question on the list. Do you remember when dad used to go to a job and be gone a lot?

BELLA: Yes. And I remember we would always be so sad because he'd be gone all day. We barely even got to see him; he’d have to leave so early in the morning. It was so sad.

ALLIE: It was just a lot. That's not a normal job. It was like 14 hours a day, six days a week. Is there anything that you liked about that time or not really?

BELLA: No, I don't think so. I just think that the only part was...wasn't I helping out with the boys because they were little?

ALLIE: I wish you were. You were too little. You were so small. I mean you would do things like get me a diaper for Emmett and stuff, which was really nice.

Can you talk about…do you think it's helpful for you kids to grow up with less stuff and why do you think that?

BELLA: Okay, so I do think it's good and the reason is because I don't want to be a spoiled kid.

ALLIE: You're definitely not.

BELLA: No, I don't want to be a spoiled kid. Seeing other kids...like when we are looking at the toys and I want to see if I can save my money for something…I see other kids walk in the entrance and the first thing they say is, “Dad, let’s go to the toy section and let’s get something.” And that's all parents come to Target for mainly is to get their kids stuff.

ALLIE: Yeah. What do you think is wrong with that though?

BELLA: I just don't like it.

ALLIE: You just don't like it?

BELLA: It's like you're spoiling your kids, people, look at what you're doing [laughing]. You’re spoiling your own kids and you’re going to ruin their lives. You're just going to keep buying them stuff and your house is going to be flooded with toys that they don’t even want anymore.

ALLIE: Yeah, exactly. Toys that they don't even want anymore. They think they want it right now, but they're going to get bored of it in two seconds.

BELLA: I know. Like there's these little plastic animals. I used to get them a lot and I didn't play with them a lot. I just don't like parents that do that.

ALLIE: So, you understand that it seems like you want it but then you wouldn't really play with things anymore and you'd end up donating it, so now you are more careful and mindful about what you get. Is that what you mean?

BELLA: Yes. So, you know that giant T-rex that I've always wanted? That giant Jurassic World T-rex? Okay. I just realized that it's so big. It would be so hard to play with. It's too big. Why would someone get it? It's like $50. It's bigger than my head.

ALLIE: It’s huge.

BELLA: The cool thing is that it can swallow things. I think that's the cool part, but it's humongous.

ALLIE: It's cool but it's not realistic to actually enjoy it.

BELLA: And it’s not even the real colors of the T-rex. I have the real colored one. He does actions though. But that one is so big and I just thought, “nobody buys that.” I always see it at Target on the shelf and there’s like a bunch.

ALLIE: Yeah. Totally. That's very smart of you to notice that, that you feel like that.

Okay. Next question. What do you wish other families would know about minimalism and living simply?

BELLA: Ok, that question is kind of confusing to me.

ALLIE: Yeah. I think it means like other people are not doing this, not everyone does this because they don't really understand why they would. And I think that they think it means they can't have anything they want. Is there anything that you wish they understood about living this way?

BELLA: Hold on, I wanna say one other thing about the people that just buy their kids stuff. Sorry, I just…

ALLIE: Are you on a tangent?

BELLA: They’re spending all their money on toys. And they are like, “I can't afford paying for this rental home, this apartment. I can't buy furniture. I can't pay for memberships. I just spend all my money on stuff.

ALLIE: Yes! I think that answers the question. That's what you wish people understood—that they could afford more things if they didn't buy so much stuff that they didn’t need.

BELLA: And I wish kids would learn that. That they would be like me. I don't want that much stuff. I just want things, certain things that I want.

ALLIE: Yeah. Are you happy with the things that you choose to have? You feel like you don't need anything?

BELLA: Yes. I am happy with the things that I have right now. I have my favorite Mario character, Yoshi stuffy, in my favorite color, and I have Bullseye, my favorite Toy Story character. I have all my favorite characters from stuff, and I just have really cute stuffed animals that I love.

ALLIE: Yeah. And you do a good job using your imagination.

BELLA: And some of them have been mine forever, so I love keeping ones, and I love that they've been mine.

ALLIE: They’re special.

BELLA: Bullseye has been mine for 3 years.

ALLIE:  Yeah, he has. You love Bullseye.

BELLA:  He is my oldest toy.

ALLIE: Yeah, I think you're right.

Okay. Fun question to wrap it up. What is your current favorite thing to do for fun by yourself?

BELLA: I think it's drawing. And does, like, playing Animal Jam count?

ALLIE:  Sure!

BELLA: Okay. The main thing is drawing.

ALLIE: So drawing first, then playing Animal Jam second?

BELLA: Yes.

ALLIE: Okay. What’s your favorite thing to do right now for fun with your brothers?

BELLA: I like going on the trampoline and playing our own little games, like makeup our characters. Anyone who knows what role-plays are, they're fun. I’ll say, “can we do a role-play?” And Leland will say, “we always do a role-play, Bella!”

ALLIE: A role-play? Like when you're animals and characters and stuff?

BELLA: Yeah. You're like doing a story or something. That's what role play is. It gets boring eventually if you do it for too long, but Leland was sick of it because we always do it and we do it all the time when Maddie comes over for a sleepover. And it's like, it's only a thing when Maddie comes over.

ALLIE: Yeah. But you love doing that.

BELLA: It's fun with her because she likes the stuff I do, like dinosaurs and dragons.

ALLIE: Is she your best friend?

BELLA: Yeah.

ALLIE: Yeah. I love you Bella. You're so fun. Oh my gosh.

Thanks for listening, you guys. This was so fun.

And by the way, I know that we talked about it in the promo for this episode, but I just want to encourage you guys, the Uncluttered Kids course is amazing. It is so in-depth and so life changing the things that Amy has poured into that from her experience as a youth and child expert. She's incredible. Incredible expertise about child play, how to communicate to your kids, and to raise them like this and have this relationship with them and have this kind of space in your home. I'm so excited to teach you guys how to have a family like this.

So, I hope this encouraged and inspired you guys.

ALLIE: Thank you, Bella, for hanging out with us!

BELLA: You’re welcome. No problem.  


This was an episode of The Purpose Show. Did you know there is an exclusive community created solely for the purpose of continuing discussions surrounding The Purpose Show episodes? And to get you to actually take action and make positive changes on the things that you learn here? Go be a part of it. To join go to facebook.com/groups/purposefulmamas.

Thank you so much for tuning in. If you are ready to uplevel and really take action on the things I talk about on my show, and get step-by-step help from me, head to alliecasazza.com. There are free downloads, courses, classes, and ways to learn more about what the next step might look like for you and to focus on whatever you might need help with in whatever season you are in right now.  

I am always rooting for you, friend! See ya next time!

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