Ep 120: Girl Talk with Bella

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I get a lot of questions about how my family—especially my kids—feel about minimalism, my business, and how we live simply. I’ve had a lot of requests for a family-style interview. And I’m so excited for this episode because I’m sitting down with my ten-year-old daughter, Bella, and we’re having a fun girl-talk about our family, our way of living, and what she thinks about it all. Plus, you’ll get to hear a little bit about the business she’s starting as well. This is going to be so fun!

 
 

In This Episode Allie & Bella Discuss:

  • Bella’s favorite thing about their family and what she likes to do the most

  • The best thing about being homeschooled

  • What Bella knows about the family business and what she thinks about it

  • Bella’s jump into entrepreneurship and the business she’s starting

  • What Bella wishes parents and kids knew about minimalism

Mentioned in this Episode:


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In today’s world, kids have so much stuff. Toys all over the house. Dressers and closets full of clothes.

If it’s overwhelming for you, it’s definitely too much for them.

Uncluttered Kids is a collaboration with Amy Tirpak, a clinical social worker with a focus in play therapy with children. It combines my expertise in practical minimalism for moms with Amy’s psychotherapy background to bring minimalism to your family in a positive, life-giving way.


who doesn't love a GIVEAWAY?

Reviews are everything on iTunes! Would you take a minute and click here to leave a review? Email hello@alliecasazza.com with a screenshot of your review on iTunes. You'll be entered to win one of Allie's amazing courses for FREE!  

If you have a question, comment or a suggestion about today’s episode, or the podcast in general, send me an email at hello@alliecasazza.com or connect with me over on Facebook & Instagram


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Mom life. We are surrounded with the message that it’s the tired life. The no-time-for-myself life. The hard life. And while it is hard and full of lots of servitude, the idea that motherhood means a joyless life is something I am passionate about putting a stop to. I’m on a mission to help you stop counting down the minutes till bedtime, at least most days. I want you to stop cleaning up after your kid’s childhood and start being present for it. Start enjoying it. I believe in John 10:10 “that we are called to abundant life” and I know mothers are not excluded from that promise. Join me in conversations about simplicity, minimalism and lots of other good stuff that leads to a life of less for the sake of enjoying more in your motherhood. I’m Allie Casazza and this is The Purpose Show.


ALLIE: Hi, beautiful friends! Welcome to The Purpose Show!

This episode is really, really special because Bella is here with me. Say hi, Bella.

BELLA:  Hi!

ALLIE: Bella is my daughter, if you're new here, and she's 10. When's your birthday?

BELLA: February 8th?

ALLIE: 7th. We have a lot of February birthdays in the family though, so that's probably why you got it mixed up.

Okay, so here's what we're doing today. We have a big list of questions from things that you guys have wanted to know about for a family-style interview. So, Bella and I thought we'd make it a girl-talk episode, and we’d just let her answer and have conversations together about all of these great questions. Ready?

BELLA: Yeah.

ALLIE: Okay. All right.

Question number one: What's your favorite thing about our family?

BELLA: You’re a good mom and dad, and you take care of us.

ALLIE: The basics?

BELLA:  Yeah.  

ALLIE: That's a good answer.

I think we were just talking about this in the car earlier, but I like how we do a lot of things together. We do almost everything together, but we also have our own separate ambitions and things, like I have my business and you are starting your business. You love to draw by yourself. Leland likes to play Legos by himself. But we all like doing everything together.

BELLA: That’s what I like. We all have our own ‘personal stuff’ thing.

ALLIE: Yeah, me too.

What's your favorite thing that you and me do together?

BELLA: Girl time. Go to the nail salon. Go to coffee shops and just have a girl day.

ALLIE: Oh, yeah, me too. We need to do that soon too. It's been a couple of weeks. When we go to the coffee shop, do you like getting the lemonade or the chocolate milk better?

BELLA: I think the lemonade.

ALLIE: Yeah. Especially in the summer.

What's your favorite thing to do with dad?

BELLA: I like helping him out without the boys, like going somewhere with him.

ALLIE: Yeah. Like when you guys go run an errand together and he just takes you?

BELLA: Yeah.

ALLIE: That’s sweet.

This is a fun question: What's your favorite trip that we've ever taken? We’ve been a lot of places.

BELLA: Probably the museum of dinosaur fossils. That was so fun!

ALLIE: Really? A day trip? Not even like Florida or Nashville?

BELLA: No, I liked the museum. It was so cool.

ALLIE: Kids are simple, folks. I love that you love that. That was such a fun day. It was so cool.

BELLA: That was the coolest thing I have ever seen.

ALLIE: I know we should go back there. We live right next to it.

Okay. Here’s a good question: What do you like about being homeschooled?

BELLA: I like that we don't have to go to a regular school. We never got to see the family. I like that we get to do trips whenever we want. We have family time all the time and we get to do school whenever we want.

ALLIE: True. And just have a relaxing day or go do something fun.

Okay. People want to know what is it like having three brothers younger than you?

BELLA:  I think it’s great because I like helping you and dad out with them because they're little. And one day I'm going to babysit them, and I just like it.

ALLIE: You like that? Even though Leland's only two years younger than you, do you still feel like he's way little?

BELLA: I like to spend time with him because he's the oldest boy and he understands things.

ALLIE: Yeah. You guys are like besties.

BELLA: And Emmett and Hudson both like Spiderman and they just get along together so much.

ALLIE: So, do you kind of feel like you and Leland group off usually, and then Hudson and Emmett group off usually?

BELLA: Yeah.

ALLIE: Yeah. That's so cute.

Do you like being the oldest or do you sometimes wish that you were in a different place in the family?

BELLA: I like being the oldest. I think it's fun.

ALLIE: Yeah, you're good at it.

This is a fun question. I'm going to want to know the answer to this. What do you think about my business and what I do? What do you know about it or think about it?

BELLA: I just think about how cool your business is because you have so much stuff and I like looking at it all, and it's so cool.

ALLIE: Which stuff?

BELLA: The videos.

ALLIE:  The content that I make? Like the videos and the podcast and all the pictures that we get to take?

BELLA:  Yeah. I love the pictures with me and you in it.

ALLIE: Me too. I love it when we have a photo shoot day.

BELLA: Like on Instagram where we take a selfie in the middle of nowhere.

ALLIE: Me too. I love it. And I love how whenever we take a selfie we always have to shift or move around cause there's always a half-naked boy in the background.

BELLA:  Or the sunlight.

ALLIE: Remember earlier when we were taking a picture and dad was right in the background, right in the way every time we moved?

BELLA: And then the boys were like, “Can I be in it?”

ALLIE: Yeah, and I was like, “No! No, I have to take one with Bella.”

BELLA: And they were like, “Can we just please have one picture?”

ALLIE: I know, and they are all like butt-hurt in the corner.

Okay. Let's see. Can you talk a little bit about the business that you're starting? Everybody's been super curious about that.

BELLA: Okay, so I've been thinking about it a lot. I was just thinking like all the things I wanted to draw, like T-rex—I'm really good at it—Horses and wolves.

ALLIE: And you’re so good at painting.

BELLA: Just like canvases. Like painting a sunset on the beach is like the thing I've always wanted to paint.

ALLIE: Hmm, so you're going to paint on the professional canvases and make something?

BELLA: So, me and you could have a beach day and whenever the sun's setting, I get my canvas out and just like paint the sunset. That would be really, really cool.

ALLIE: That’s amazing. Yes. That is so amazing.

So, what made you think about starting a business like that? Instead of just saying like, “I want to paint.” What made you think, “I'm gonna make a business out of painting?”

BELLA: I wanted to just be like you. Cause I've always wanted a business and I didn't want to wait so long to be like 30 years old. So, I just wanted to do it. And live the life of having a business. When I get older my art's going to look really realistic. That’s what I always think.

ALLIE: Oh, totally. And just do it. Just start. Don't let something get in your way. Don't think, “Oh, I'm just too young. I have to wait till I'm an adult.” Forget that; you can start now.

BELLA: I'm glad I'm young and I'm doing it because not a lot of kids have businesses like this when they're like my age.

ALLIE: Yeah, absolutely. You're being different. You're being an action-taking, problem-solving woman, right?

BELLA: Yeah.

ALLIE: Ooh, this is a good one. What's the hardest part about starting your business so far?

BELLA: Just all the things you said were really hard. Like it's gonna take a while and saving my money for all the paints that are so expensive. That's just the hard part. But the other stuff is all like, “I'm excited for this! It's going to happen.”

ALLIE: Yes! It is going to happen, and we will speak that out.

Do you mean the hard stuff like when we were talking the other day about like, ‘okay, we have to finish the website, get a blog post up, all that stuff?’ Just the long list?

BELLA: All the videos…

ALLIE: Of teaching kids how to paint? Yes. But we can do it, and we're going to do it.

BELLA: Yes.

ALLIE:  All right, next question. What do you think people don't understand about minimalism and how we kind of live with just less stuff? Do you think there's anything people just don't understand?

BELLA: Ok, some people they either love their kids and they want to buy them everything they want or they don't even care what they're doing. They don't even know what they're doing. They're just going to Target in the toys section and getting their kids the biggest Batman set ever. And then they're like, “Why did I just buy this?”  And they just keep doing it. And then they're house is full of toys. Every corner is filled with Batman action figures and stuff.

And I like that we're different, and we don't have a lot of stuff. And if I want to save my money for something, I donate stuff that I don't need anymore, and I save a bunch of space.

ALLIE: So, do you think that people get in the habit of buying too much stuff and they don't understand that they just need to break the habit.

BELLA: Yeah. And the kids somehow get them to do it. I mean when you're a little kid and you want baby toys, that's fine, just get a few. When you get older, like Leland’s age or something, you can save your money for your own stuff. You're not a little kid. You're a nine-year-old who is not a baby and you can save your money.

ALLIE: Take responsibility if you want to get something. You do a really good job at that. If you really want something, you will look at it on Amazon, you'll know exactly how much money you need, and you will do extra jobs. You'll ask Meme and Poppy if they have things you could do at their house to make money. You'll just get a dollar here and there until you earn it and then you always are so good about donating stuff. I don't even have to ask you because you get it. You understand that less stuff means less cleaning and you don't want to clean up toys all day. Right?

BELLA: No, I don't. And I love putting all my favorite stuffies on my bed. I make it like all my pillows in the front. I have a tiger one, and I put my panther stuffy, and then on the foot area I have two blankets, and then I put all my other ones down there.

ALLIE: You are a cozy bed-dweller. You make it so cozy. When I come in and check on you, I'm like, “I want to be in there!” Plus, Pete goes in there with you.

BELLA: Yes, I have a little spot for him. A little blanket with a little string that hangs down for him to play with. He loves snuggling with you.


Hey friends, I just want to pop in and make sure you are aware of what is about to come from me next. I am so, so, so excited to finally be able to let you in on this. This has been such a long time coming and such a beautiful work in progress for many, many months and it's finally time to bring you into this.

I'm creating a new program called Uncluttered Kids and it is exactly what it sounds like. It's everything about minimalism, simplified living, and intentional living for you as a mother and you to your kids.

I'm working with Amy Tirpak. She has a Masters degree in social work and she's specialized in children and youth. She is a licensed independent clinical social worker. She just has so much expertise under her belt and we worked together to really bring you a strategic, detailed, incredibly powerful program on how to talk to your kids about minimalism and simplicity.

We talk all the time about the benefits of this lifestyle for your kids and how it raises grateful kids, kids who are not focused on material things, who know how to have conversations, who have creativity and really vivid, wild imaginations who actually know how to play. It just really breeds a beautiful childhood and really, I think, strong, confident adults who know who they are. I've seen this in my kids so far. My oldest is 10, and we've got a long way to go.

I want to help you breed this relationship with your kids, and their relationship with each other, with other people, and with themselves, for them to know what they're good at, what their gifts are, where their creativity lies. It's so, so powerful. And I really wanted to create something that specifically helped you have this happen for your kids and in your family.

Amy is just a genius. We worked together on this. It's such an amazing program.

It is officially launched. And to celebrate that Amy and I are hosting a live, free workshop you can come to and we are going to talk all about minimalism and kids. It's going to be so good. We can't wait to see you there.

Go to alliecasazza.com/kidsclass to sign up. Again, the class is totally free.

We'll teach you some really solid things that are going to help you get started with this or better at this as you talk to your kids about this if you're already living this way and you just want to get deeper into this. Or maybe you've hit some hurdles and you need help with that.

We're going to help you with all of it and we'll tell you all about the new Uncluttered Kids program and you can see if it's for you.

We love you guys. I'm here for you. I want to continue to help you and this is the next step in where we're heading in the business, in my platform, and in my tribe. I want you to be a part of this.

Some of the psych stuff with kids, minimalism and implementing this stuff can get really dicey and tricky, and sometimes minimalism can feel like you're punishing your kids for no reason and that's just a really bad sign. It means that something's not right.

I want to help you implement this in a really positive way. We talk about kids with special needs, kids who have experienced trauma, the five different types of kid personalities and how to relate to the message of minimalism to each one of them. There's a quiz to help you just understand your child better. It's so, so good! So in depth.

I can't wait to unveil this to you guys and have you get in there. I definitely want to see you at the class.

alliecasazza.com/kidsclass. Sign up for free. We'll see you there!


ALLIE: Oh, this is a good question. Do you remember the time in our lives when we had a ton of stuff in that old house when I was really overwhelmed and I spent a lot of time in bed…the part of my story that I always talk about? Do you even remember that, or do you not really?

BELLA: Like when dad was at work or something?

ALLIE: Not that—but that is a question on here—but more like when you were little. You were like 2-3 and I really was struggling. Hudson was just born and we had a house full of clutter and toys.

BELLA: I remember when he was little. Yeah, I think I remember that.

ALLIE: Do you feel…what do you think about that time?

BELLA: That was probably stressful for you. I feel bad for you.

ALLIE: You feel bad for me? I feel bad for me too. Rough days.

Okay, well perfect. This is the next question on the list. Do you remember when dad used to go to a job and be gone a lot?

BELLA: Yes. And I remember we would always be so sad because he'd be gone all day. We barely even got to see him; he’d have to leave so early in the morning. It was so sad.

ALLIE: It was just a lot. That's not a normal job. It was like 14 hours a day, six days a week. Is there anything that you liked about that time or not really?

BELLA: No, I don't think so. I just think that the only part was...wasn't I helping out with the boys because they were little?

ALLIE: I wish you were. You were too little. You were so small. I mean you would do things like get me a diaper for Emmett and stuff, which was really nice.

Can you talk about…do you think it's helpful for you kids to grow up with less stuff and why do you think that?

BELLA: Okay, so I do think it's good and the reason is because I don't want to be a spoiled kid.

ALLIE: You're definitely not.

BELLA: No, I don't want to be a spoiled kid. Seeing other kids...like when we are looking at the toys and I want to see if I can save my money for something…I see other kids walk in the entrance and the first thing they say is, “Dad, let’s go to the toy section and let’s get something.” And that's all parents come to Target for mainly is to get their kids stuff.

ALLIE: Yeah. What do you think is wrong with that though?

BELLA: I just don't like it.

ALLIE: You just don't like it?

BELLA: It's like you're spoiling your kids, people, look at what you're doing [laughing]. You’re spoiling your own kids and you’re going to ruin their lives. You're just going to keep buying them stuff and your house is going to be flooded with toys that they don’t even want anymore.

ALLIE: Yeah, exactly. Toys that they don't even want anymore. They think they want it right now, but they're going to get bored of it in two seconds.

BELLA: I know. Like there's these little plastic animals. I used to get them a lot and I didn't play with them a lot. I just don't like parents that do that.

ALLIE: So, you understand that it seems like you want it but then you wouldn't really play with things anymore and you'd end up donating it, so now you are more careful and mindful about what you get. Is that what you mean?

BELLA: Yes. So, you know that giant T-rex that I've always wanted? That giant Jurassic World T-rex? Okay. I just realized that it's so big. It would be so hard to play with. It's too big. Why would someone get it? It's like $50. It's bigger than my head.

ALLIE: It’s huge.

BELLA: The cool thing is that it can swallow things. I think that's the cool part, but it's humongous.

ALLIE: It's cool but it's not realistic to actually enjoy it.

BELLA: And it’s not even the real colors of the T-rex. I have the real colored one. He does actions though. But that one is so big and I just thought, “nobody buys that.” I always see it at Target on the shelf and there’s like a bunch.

ALLIE: Yeah. Totally. That's very smart of you to notice that, that you feel like that.

Okay. Next question. What do you wish other families would know about minimalism and living simply?

BELLA: Ok, that question is kind of confusing to me.

ALLIE: Yeah. I think it means like other people are not doing this, not everyone does this because they don't really understand why they would. And I think that they think it means they can't have anything they want. Is there anything that you wish they understood about living this way?

BELLA: Hold on, I wanna say one other thing about the people that just buy their kids stuff. Sorry, I just…

ALLIE: Are you on a tangent?

BELLA: They’re spending all their money on toys. And they are like, “I can't afford paying for this rental home, this apartment. I can't buy furniture. I can't pay for memberships. I just spend all my money on stuff.

ALLIE: Yes! I think that answers the question. That's what you wish people understood—that they could afford more things if they didn't buy so much stuff that they didn’t need.

BELLA: And I wish kids would learn that. That they would be like me. I don't want that much stuff. I just want things, certain things that I want.

ALLIE: Yeah. Are you happy with the things that you choose to have? You feel like you don't need anything?

BELLA: Yes. I am happy with the things that I have right now. I have my favorite Mario character, Yoshi stuffy, in my favorite color, and I have Bullseye, my favorite Toy Story character. I have all my favorite characters from stuff, and I just have really cute stuffed animals that I love.

ALLIE: Yeah. And you do a good job using your imagination.

BELLA: And some of them have been mine forever, so I love keeping ones, and I love that they've been mine.

ALLIE: They’re special.

BELLA: Bullseye has been mine for 3 years.

ALLIE:  Yeah, he has. You love Bullseye.

BELLA:  He is my oldest toy.

ALLIE: Yeah, I think you're right.

Okay. Fun question to wrap it up. What is your current favorite thing to do for fun by yourself?

BELLA: I think it's drawing. And does, like, playing Animal Jam count?

ALLIE:  Sure!

BELLA: Okay. The main thing is drawing.

ALLIE: So drawing first, then playing Animal Jam second?

BELLA: Yes.

ALLIE: Okay. What’s your favorite thing to do right now for fun with your brothers?

BELLA: I like going on the trampoline and playing our own little games, like makeup our characters. Anyone who knows what role-plays are, they're fun. I’ll say, “can we do a role-play?” And Leland will say, “we always do a role-play, Bella!”

ALLIE: A role-play? Like when you're animals and characters and stuff?

BELLA: Yeah. You're like doing a story or something. That's what role play is. It gets boring eventually if you do it for too long, but Leland was sick of it because we always do it and we do it all the time when Maddie comes over for a sleepover. And it's like, it's only a thing when Maddie comes over.

ALLIE: Yeah. But you love doing that.

BELLA: It's fun with her because she likes the stuff I do, like dinosaurs and dragons.

ALLIE: Is she your best friend?

BELLA: Yeah.

ALLIE: Yeah. I love you Bella. You're so fun. Oh my gosh.

Thanks for listening, you guys. This was so fun.

And by the way, I know that we talked about it in the promo for this episode, but I just want to encourage you guys, the Uncluttered Kids course is amazing. It is so in-depth and so life changing the things that Amy has poured into that from her experience as a youth and child expert. She's incredible. Incredible expertise about child play, how to communicate to your kids, and to raise them like this and have this relationship with them and have this kind of space in your home. I'm so excited to teach you guys how to have a family like this.

So, I hope this encouraged and inspired you guys.

ALLIE: Thank you, Bella, for hanging out with us!

BELLA: You’re welcome. No problem.  


This was an episode of The Purpose Show. Did you know there is an exclusive community created solely for the purpose of continuing discussions surrounding The Purpose Show episodes? And to get you to actually take action and make positive changes on the things that you learn here? Go be a part of it. To join go to facebook.com/groups/purposefulmamas.

Thank you so much for tuning in. If you are ready to uplevel and really take action on the things I talk about on my show, and get step-by-step help from me, head to alliecasazza.com. There are free downloads, courses, classes, and ways to learn more about what the next step might look like for you and to focus on whatever you might need help with in whatever season you are in right now.  

I am always rooting for you, friend! See ya next time!

Hey mama! Just a quick note, this post may contain affiliate links.

Ep 112: Live Chat with Allie

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I think social media can be such a waste of time and on those same platforms where so much time is wasted, I love creating spaces that are intentional and inspire you to be better. I have a free Facebook group that’s really big, really fun, really engaged. It's an attachment of this podcast, a place where we discuss episodes. Discuss abundant life, simplicity, and intentional living for mothers and women of all types. It's such a cool place.

Once a month in that group, I do what is called an Allie Chat where I pull somebody out from the community there and we go live together. There was an Allie Chat recently with a woman named Christina who is just a gem. She asked such amazing questions about her motherhood. I loved the conversation we had and the audience loved the answers that I gave. It was such a powerful Allie Chat and I knew that I had to use it as an episode for The Purpose Show.

 
 

In This Episode Allie + Christina Discuss:

  • encouraging creative play in toddlers without living in constant mess

  • transitioning between seasons and when you need to change up your routines

  • self-care practices with and without your kids around

  • how the Enneagram empowered Allie’s marriage and relationships

Mentioned in this Episode:


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The Supermom Vault is a library of inspiration I created for you.  It holds replays of my very best online workshops that aren’t available anywhere else, tons of really actionable pdf’s that are downloadable with just one click, more than 20 audio and video trainings from me, and professionally designed printables for your home to keep you focused and inspired.

Check it out!  It’s a really good simple start.


who doesn't love a GIVEAWAY?

Reviews are everything on iTunes! Would you take a minute and click here to leave a review? Email hello@alliecasazza.com with a screenshot of your review on iTunes. You'll be entered to win one of Allie's amazing courses for FREE!  

If you have a question, comment or a suggestion about today’s episode, or the podcast in general, send me an email at hello@alliecasazza.com or connect with me over on Facebook & Instagram


Don't have time to listen_.jpg

Mom life. We are surrounded with the message that it’s the tired life. The no-time-for-myself life. The hard life. And while it is hard and full of lots of servitude, the idea that motherhood means a joyless life is something I am passionate about putting a stop to. I’m on a mission to help you stop counting down the minutes till bedtime, at least most days. I want you to stop cleaning up after your kid’s childhood and start being present for it. Start enjoying it. I believe in John 10:10 “that we are called to abundant life” and I know mothers are not excluded from that promise. Join me in conversations about simplicity, minimalism and lots of other good stuff that leads to a life of less for the sake of enjoying more in your motherhood. I’m Allie Casazza and this is The Purpose Show.


Hello, my beautiful, beautiful friend! I've got the coolest, most unique episode ever for you today.

I have this free Facebook group. If you're already a part of it, you know, but if you're not, you've got to get over there. I will link to it in the show notes for sure, or you could just search for it.

It's a free Facebook group that's really big, really fun, really engaged. The women there are just incredible. There's this energetic current that flows through that group, and that flows through me every time I spend time in there. It's really an amazing place to be on the internet, which is awesome because that's one of my biggest goals in my business. You know, I think social media can be such a waste of time and on those same platforms where so much time is wasted, I love creating spaces that are the opposite of wasted time.

I love creating spaces that are intentional and inspire you to be better. When you're on social media with me, you are bettering yourself, not wasting yourself. I love doing that. And this Facebook group is such a picture of that. It is The Purpose Show Community with Allie Casazza on Facebook. It's an attachment of this podcast—a place where we discuss episodes, discuss abundant life, simplicity, and intentional living for mothers and women of all types. It's such a cool place.

Once a month in that group, I do what is called an Allie Chat where I pull somebody out from the community there and we go live together. She gets to ask me basically anything she wants. It's really, really cool.

There was an Allie Chat recently with a woman named Christina who is just a gem. She's so cute, so sweet, so beautiful and amazing. She asked such amazing questions about her motherhood. I loved what she chose to ask me. I loved the conversation we had and the audience loved the answers that I gave. It was such a powerful Allie Chat and I knew that I had to use it as an episode for The Purpose Show.

We discussed a lot of things, but here’s a quick surface recap. We discussed encouraging creative play in toddlers without living in constant mess. We discussed transitioning between seasons and when you need to change up your routines—which is a really frequently asked question in my community so, I'm happy that I had a chance to answer it live with Christina. We discussed self-care practices with and without your kids around. We also discussed how the Enneagram empowered my marriage and relationships.

This is not doing it justice. This is a really powerful episode, so keep playing this. Put it on while you drive, while you go do whatever it is you're doing today. I encourage you to listen.

Thank you, Christina, for being a part of my community. Thank you for asking these important questions. Guys, enjoy this conversation. It’s so, so good.

ALLIE: Hi, can you hear me? How are you today? You look beautiful.

CHRISTINA: Thank you. I'm so excited to be here! I'm such a fan of yours. I'm so emotional already. I love you so much. You changed my life in so many ways. I'm just so excited. You're like my hero, so I'm just happy to chat. I got some coffee.

ALLIE: Oh my gosh. Okay. I left my coffee upstairs and right when I got on, I was like, “How awkward, on a scale of 1 to 10, would it be if I just hung up and ran to go grab it? No, it's fine. I’ve got water, and I should drink it.”

Okay. So, I have your questions here, but I would rather you ask them since you're here. I have them just in case we have tech issues or in case you couldn't come. I love what you asked though. And I saw that you have a Bella too!

CHRISTINA: I do! I actually named her after you. Not in a stalker-kind-of-way. But I love that name. I actually named her Isabella, but we call her Bella and she's just a little light in our lives though. I just saw that name and I think I first heard it from you.

ALLIE: Yeah, I love it. Well, when we named Bella we couldn't name her—well, we could have, but we didn't want to name her—Isabella because our last name is such a mouthful. I feel like it's a lot for a 2-year-old to be Isabella Casazza. It’s just a lot. And so, we just did Bella and I was feeling super unique. It was an old Italian name and every time we said it people were like, “Wow! That's really unique.” And then Twilight came out and ruined my life and made me super mad. Everyone was like, “Oh, I like Twilight, too. Are you going to have an Edward next?” Yeah, I hated everything for three years because it wouldn't stop.

So, talk to me about what you want to talk about today.

CHRISTINA: So, I've actually been through the decluttering process. I actually did it before I found you. So, I’m really on the other side of it. I post a lot in the group—testimony to how this minimalism thing can change your life and add time with your kids. But my kids are so little still, they are 4, 3, & 1.

So my first question is: After you have completed the decluttering process, how do you keep your toddler messes to a minimum without discouraging creative play?

My 4, 3, & 1-year-olds love exploring. We've gotten rid of so many toys. We have a box of Legos and some dolls. But they are so creative, they just get into all this stuff, you know? Like my 1-year-old is taking stuff out of the dressers. The 4 & 3-year-olds are pulling out the pots and pans. They want to dress up in mommy's clothes.

And for a while I was like, “Okay, I'm putting all the clothes up. I'm not letting you guys change six times a day.” And it worked for a little while, but I want my 4 & 3-year-olds to help, and I want them to learn. I don't want to do everything for them. So, I guess what is the balance between that? I don't want to put everything up so that they can't access it. I don't want to be doing everything for them, but I don't want to be walking around all day cleaning up all these random messes.

ALLIE: Yeah, totally. For me, in my experience, you're right at the point in motherhood where you go through these tiers. You go through these stages. I remember times when I thought, “Oh, are timeouts irrelevant now? Do I need to do something different because they're so old?” It's weird. You realize like, “Oh, I think it's time for this now.” And you're right at that point where it's time for them to help.

CHRISTINA: Even though it takes twice as long.

ALLIE: Yeah, oh my gosh, but that gets way better. And some moms don't have the vision that you have for your kids. They don't mind doing everything and that's not what they want for their kids. So, if you're watching and that’s you, disregard.

But for me, I really wanted my kids to help. I believe in chores. I want them to be helpful and not entitled. And that's just important to me. It gets so much easier when they're older. Now Bella and Leland are 10 and 8 and they do the dishes after dinner. Every once in a while if they have extra schoolwork or they've just had baseball and they're just really tired, I'll do it for them. But typically, they do that. And it's because, around the ages that your older two kids are, we implemented, “You get something out, you need to pick it up.” I'll help them if they need my help.

It's basically disregarding the idea in toddlers’ heads. There's this book called Happiest Toddler On The Block and it talks about how they're like cavemen and they don't know anything. When you have toddlers you have to say sentences like, “Please get your finger out of your nose while we're at this restaurant.” You have to explain the basics. So, thinking of it like that…they just don't know.

You're basically having to untrain them to just make a mess and not care. You have to teach them like: “Okay, new thing is being introduced: When you make a mess, you need to be polite and help clean it up.”

It's just a thing you have to spend your time on for a little bit.

But I'd like to encourage you, because you're in such a cool time, but also such a hard time. This is not something that I made sure they followed through on every single time. I wasn't a psycho about it. When you want something for your kids, it comes out of you for them. So, if you want your kids to be helpful when they make a mess, you're going to be able to fight that urge to clean it up. Call them back and say, “Hey guys, this looks awesome. What did you guys do with this? Tell me what you were playing. That's so fun. That's so great! Okay, let's clean it up though. We don't want to just leave it out.”

Make it fun. I was never like, “Get over here!” You don't have to be crazy about it. But when you make it fun, you just infuse that in your day. Of course, there were times when I was like, “Screw it. I'm just gonna clean it up. It's fine.” But typically it was me saying: “Hey guys, come back. Remember? What do we do after you play with something?”

Make them learn that it's just a part of their lifestyle. You've already done that with minimalism and toys and look at how your kids are.

CHRISTINA: Yeah, they’re so creative.

ALLIE: They don’t come to you saying, “I'm bored.” They know how to create, play, be innovative, and messy because that's all they know. Eventually cleaning up after themselves will be all they know and it will just happen. It's awesome and it's so worth it. I think that you can start to do that.

Also, I don't like this idea that people have: “Oh, having toddlers, is just messy. It just is what it is.”

When you're living life and having fun, you let things go. But it doesn't have to be like, “Oh I have toddlers so this is just a total crap show. It's always messy. It's always hard and I can't wait for them to get older so I can have a clean house.”  That's not a good mindset to carry.

But to some effect, when you have creative kids, they do get things out. They think the broom is a horse and they get it out and they play with it. It is to some extent part of it, but there's no reason they can't put the broom back when they're done. There's no reason that you should be running around putting things back by yourself anymore. You have the badge of honor that you have a 4-year-old and she can help put things away. That's just what I did.

What might help you is implementing what I called: “the dinnertime pick-up alarm.” When I made dinner, I would set an alarm for 10 minutes or 5 minutes. You can gauge the amount of time your kids can handle at their ages. Again, super fun. No one's in trouble here. We're just doing our family thing and you say, “Guys, it's time for our dinnertime pick-up dance party.” We would blast Taylor Swift and dance around.

Do you know about the laundry hamper trick? Have them pick up everything in the room and dump it in. It makes it easy because the laundry hamper can be pushed around on the floor by toddlers and they're not having to go and put everything away. They’re just putting it in the hamper.

Then you can make the call. Sometimes I would just go through the house after bedtime and put everything in the laundry hamper where it goes. Sometimes I would have them help me. Definitely as they got older, like once Bella turned 6, it was her job. Go put this in whoever’s room it belongs in. If it was my flip flops she would put them on the floor in my room, which was at least more helpful than them being downstairs on the floor, under the table, or wherever. But yeah, make it fun.

I think that moms struggle because they're exhausted and they don't feel fun, so they don't make things fun and normal life things feel like a punishment. And that's when kids freak out. My son, Leland, has always been my harder one. He'd be grunting, stubborn, and saying, “I'm not going to do it.” All because I sounded like, “Guys what the heck? What is wrong with everybody? Why is it so messy? Pick up right now.”

But if you set a timer and play music, and you're helping and just dancing around, and you say, “Look, let's see who can put the stuff in the hamper the fastest.” How could they not want to? Toddlers love that.

Even if it was super fake and I was really annoyed and didn't feel it, I still made it fun. It’s like a fake-it-till-you-make-it thing, because then you do eventually feel like that and the kids catch that and they like it.

Then that solves the problem that your house feels really messy and it's all on you. If you implement that just every once in a while—having them clean up after themselves, reminding them, calling them back, and then you implement a nighttime pick-up party—then you've solved your problem.

And you can do that. It could be after every meal, you just say, “We just finished a meal. What do we do?”

CHRISTINA: That way it’s more often because I definitely need it at least three or four times a day.

ALLIE:  Yeah, you can do that whenever you want, five times a day, once a day, whatever. I think the key is to just make it fun. Infuse that into them and make them feel like, “Wow! You're such a help to me.” You know when people feel valued—it doesn’t matter if they’re 3 or if they're 90—if they feel valued, they want to show up for that.

There’s this marriage book that I read a long time ago. I think it was called For Women Only, and basically there was this section in there that changed my life and I've applied it to my marriage and everywhere else. It talked about when you want somebody to do something, telling them that they suck and they need to do better doesn't do anything.

If you told your husband, “I just want you to know I think that you're so romantic and you did this (insert small thing that wasn't really romantic, but you're just trying to praise him) and it just really made me feel loved and I felt really close to and I love you.” He's going to notice that and respond by doing another romantic thing instead of you saying, “Why can't you be romantic?” Do you see what I'm saying? Apply that to your kids. If you make them feel valued, make them feel like they’re so good at cleaning up, that’s going to make them want to be better at cleaning up instead of you nagging them.

CHRISTINA: That's awesome. I love that. I use a lot of Wendy Snyder's praises. I love her. And this morning I was asking my toddler—the second one, she's 3-years-old—“Could you please put that up? And she was like, “Nope, I'm not doing it.”

So I said, “Oh my gosh, could you do it as fast as you can? I'm going to set the timer.” Then my 4-year-old came running in and she's like, “Can I do it too, please?”

So, yeah, I need to remember to keep it fun because sometimes I'll definitely be like, “Oh my gosh, why is this room such a mess?” You know?

ALLIE: Yeah, yeah. I just did that yesterday. I freaked out and I was like, “Wait, okay guys, sorry. It doesn't matter how you've messed up today. It doesn't make it okay for me to mess up and I just messed up and I yelled, and I'm sorry. Let's just hit the reset button. Let’s clean up and then let's go downstairs.”

We have this little jar of Hershey Kisses that are for Emmett when he goes potty in the toilet. And I was like, “Let's clean up and let's go downstairs and everyone can have a Hershey Kiss because I think we all need chocolate right now.” And they just laughed. It fixed the day.

I think shifting that perspective in yourself is so powerful. And you can also solve your problem. You don't have to have “good moms don't have sticky floors and messy whatever and it’s a crap show, but at least I'm having fun with my kids” mentality. You can have both.

CHRISTINA: It's good to hear that you're on the other side of that too. That's awesome. I think one thing that they do really well now is they lay out their clothes and they get dressed in the morning. That took forever, but now they're doing it on some level.

ALLIE: Amazing. Yeah, that's amazing. It’s a little thing that trims our morning down a little bit. For me, my son Leland, has definitely been my tougher one. He’s weird about his socks and shoes. There couldn’t be any bumps. He would just take forever. So, I was thinking, ‘How can we fix this when we have to go in the morning?’ Having him try his socks on at night before bed. While I got Emmett’s teeth brushed and got Hudson in his pajamas, Leland's working out his sock issues and then he lays them out and they're ready for the next morning. He already knows that they are going to work and he's happy with them. Those are mom hacks that you don't think about because you're drowning.

So, I know that you had a question about life transitions and routines and stuff.

CHRISTINA: I can read that one. How can you tell when it is time to transition to a new season of life and change up certain routines? I don't want to stay stuck in my routines if they are not serving me.

I’m the kind of person who gets into a routine and can get a little lazy in that. For example, my baby, I'm nursing her at night and a lot of times I'll bring her in the bed and snuggle her. She’s probably at that point where I can start getting up early again. She's sleeping a little bit better, but I'm still stuck in that routine. She's in the bed in the morning, so I'll just sleep in. I'm enjoying that time with her. But I feel like a lot of times we start doing something that's working for us and boom, it changes, you know? Like for you, putting your kids in school and then taking them out. I had such respect for that when I listened to that episode where it's okay to change your mind. You know? If it's not working for your family, you don't have to follow through with it.

So just do you have any examples or tips there?

ALLIE: You like that time. You don't seem ready. I don't know if everyone has this. I talked to a few friends about it and they all agreed so, I don’t know if it’s a mom-thing for everybody, but when I was nursing, I really enjoyed it. My other two babies had issues and they wouldn't nurse. So, when Hudson and Emmett nursed, I just held onto that and it was so sweet for me. Emmett nursed for a really long time. He nursed for almost two years and Hudson nursed for nine months. And at the end of both of those journeys I started to feel different about it. My skin would kind of crawl and I would just kind of be like, “Oh. Ugh, we have to sit down and nurse.”

I feel like it's God's way of getting our bodies ready. It’s like at the end of the pregnancy you're like, look, I don't care how much it hurts, get out of me. It's like your mother's natural way of closing a season off. I think it's beautiful, and I think it's really, really beneficial when your life allows you to make decisions based on that. And you don't have to go and do something else and stop when you're not ready. So, you don't seem ready. Enjoy that. Snuggle her. Sleep in a little bit. Enjoy that sweet time and look for other ways in your life that you could fit things in. Unless you're Type A and you just love routine. I’m not, and being really rigid makes me feel super trapped.

But the fact is, spontaneous or not, the laundry has to get washed, the dishes have to get run, meals have to be cooked, things have to move forward for our houses to run smoothly and for our families to be taken care of.

So, in our family that role is split now between Brian and I. But before it wasn't. It was on me. And so, those are what should be routine. What are the things that absolutely must happen for you guys to function well? Don't put things that are an ideal in your routine right now. Just enjoy sleeping in with your baby girl. Soak up that time and then just know, okay after that I get the girls breakfast, then I put a load of laundry in,  and that's my morning routine. Whatever it is.

The way you know that it's time to switch transitions and bring in a new routine or let go of an old one is when you're like that nursing-skin-crawling-feeling, so to speak, in your life. It should serve you and you can tell when something is serving you versus when it's really inconvenient. You know that feeling when you just feel like everything is just a mess and you feel like, man I need to get my ish together... Like now...This is just not working?

But it depends on your life season where that routine goes. If you feel like that, but you love that snuggle time in the morning and you don't have to be at work at 9:00 AM or you don't have anything, you can fit in your morning routine somewhere else. Make it work for your life. It should feel good. Maybe you snuggle with your baby girl in the morning but at nap time instead of watching Netflix, you first switch the laundry and run the dishwasher, then you veg out and watch Netflix. You can fit it in wherever it works for you right now. It should make you feel like, “Oh that's good, that's really good.” It shouldn't make you feel like, “Oh man, I have to get up. I have to.” Unless you're a working mom and you've got to get up and go. That's a different story.

CHRISTINA: Yeah. Okay. That makes sense. And I think you're right. I feel to be productive, I need to get up at 5:00 AM, get all my meditation and blah, blah, blah. But I do get that stuff in. I just don't do it super early. I think you're right. It feels good right now, and I’m enjoying her.

ALLIE: I didn't even start doing a super early morning routine until I started getting up early and working on my business when Emmett was one—because that was our story. That's when the idea hit me. That's when it needed to happen. But with all my other kids, I didn't do early morning things until they were two. I think people look now and my youngest is 4 ½; That's why I get up at 5:00 and go exercise, then come home and meditate, and have a good time with my family. It seems so easy and smooth now because I have no babies. Just know your season.




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CHRISTINA: Okay, now my next question is: What is your go to self-care when you're just feeling done? What's something you do that helps?

ALLIE: Do you want something that you can bring your kids to? Or something where you’re leaving and getting away?

CHRISTINA: How about one of each?

ALLIE: Okay. So, for myself, I could have no makeup on, have my hair in a topknot because it hasn’t been washed in six days, but if I have a manicure, I feel on top of the world. So, I always have my nails painted and pretty fresh because it makes me feel so good. Maybe think of something like that.

I feel like as women, if we feel good physically then it transfers. If you feel like crap (just getting real here: you've got no bra, sweaty under boob and you're feeling like you're gross), then you feel gross.

What’s the one thing that just makes you feel really, really good? I have a friend who's a little more high maintenance than me and she really loves facials. And so, she found a place to get a cheap organic facial and she goes every week on Wednesday morning. And that's her thing.

It could be like that or it could be less extreme. Going for a drive, getting yourself a chai tea latte—or whatever vice it is—and just going for a drive by yourself.

Then with the kids, I've switched back and forth between two things. We live in California, so the weather isn't really something I have to worry about. So, when we're having a day where homeschooling isn't clicking, everyone's just pissy and bickering, I'm done, I'm yelling, I'm not who I want to be, then it's time to get out of there. You need a change of scenery.

If it was raining or cold, we would take a drive. I would buckle the kids up. There's something magical about your kids being stuck in their car seats when they're driving you crazy. We would just listen to the music and just relax.

Then the other thing we would do, which was my favorite thing, which you might've heard me say before, is, I would get my headphones, get my phone, pack the kids up, get them all ready to go and take them to the park. There was this one park where there was a playground and a little sidewalk to walk around. It wasn’t really wide, but it went right around the playground so I could see them wherever I was. I would just put my headphones in and watch my kids play and listen to a podcast, something that encouraged me.

CHRISTINA: Yeah, like The Purpose Show?

ALLIE: What is the issue? Did you have a fight with your husband and you feel like you're having a crappy day? Listen to a marriage podcast. Are you struggling with one of your strong-willed kids? Listen to a parenting podcast.

Or maybe you need to exit the arena of whatever is causing stress that day, then don't listen to that. Listen to something for yourself. Get something in your head because words are powerful and when you're having a bad day and you put positive words literally in your head, you're going to leave that park different and your kids got their energy out. We would blow off nap time and just go whenever we needed to. And even if it was like 20 minutes, it changed the feel of the day.

CHRISTINA: Yeah, I love that. I do that. We have bad weather right now, but I'll just go to like Chick-fil-a if I can or an indoor playground. But yeah. I definitely use the podcast thing, but it's always you. Why are you doing one podcast a week? Please up it.

ALLIE: Good, that’s what it’s there for.

CHRISTINA: Okay. That was very helpful. Thank you.

Okay, so my last question is: What would you say has been the biggest impact of studying the Enneagram on yourself, your husband, and your kids? I am fascinated by the Enneagram. Yeah, I think I'm a 9.

ALLIE: Are you? They’re all great, but there are certain ones that I think I just kind of vibe with more because of my personality. It was funny because I'm such a dork. We were having a get-together at our house and I basically made everyone pick what they were on the Enneagram. I just wanted to know. All of my friends are like 2’s or 9’s. I think the biggest impact was marital for me.

I know I've shared about this on the podcast and it's repetitive, but I always could cry when I talk about it because I just felt so excluded all the time. I felt like I didn't belong anywhere. I didn't always fit in the mom circles. Like can we talk about something other than what Sippy Cup doesn't leak? I didn't get along with a lot of moms. I wanted to talk about marketing and blogging.

CHRISTINA: You’re passionate. You’re fiery.

ALLIE: Yeah. I'm super blunt and my sarcastic sense of humor would sometimes not go over well. I didn't fit in the business industry because they're all like, “Oh, where do you summer?” And I’m like, “I don't. I have a million kids.” I always felt my whole life, even as a kid, like I didn't belong anywhere and like I always needed to tone it down. “Relax” was basically the message that I got all the time from everyone.

And the Enneagram showed me, when I figured out that I was an 8 and I looked at what that meant, it was like my identity and who God made me to be. It was like a light was shone on it. I just cried. I felt so at peace and like, “Oh my gosh! It makes sense why I would take something basic and have to run with it and do way more than anyone else thought I would do with it because I'm passionate about it.

Especially being a woman and being an 8, when Brian and I would have friends, couple friends and stuff, the husband never liked me. They always seemed irritated or intimidated by me. I noticed that even being a teenager, and then especially after I started my business and our friends would see things online about the success of the business. Relationships changed. I never got along with my friends’ husbands; they just wouldn't like me.

And so, the Enneagram helped me see that I'm just super driven. I'm made to be an entrepreneur. I'm just powerful, confident, fiery, and blunt. That doesn't mean that it's an excuse to be rude or anything, but it's helpful to know yourself. Then knowing that and then seeing that Brian is a 2, we have always felt like we were the opposite of what we needed to be. I learned that it's not that. It's actually that we're just the opposite of tradition, and the traditional roles we were in almost split us up and they caused so much unfulfillment, drama, and just fighting.

And so, when I took the Enneagram, it really helped me step into my role and who I am. No matter who that threatens and no matter what other moms think about that. For Brian, he was like, “This is crazy. I’m literally designed to be a support. And I love supporting you, but I always felt weird about it. Like, am I nuts? Am I doing something wrong? Am I supposed to be the provider? What's going on?” So that was really liberating for us.

With my kids, I feel like I'm still figuring them out. I couldn't say that I know what all their numbers are right now. But I'm aware of the different attributes of the Enneagram and the different personality types and it's helped me see those in them and in my parents and siblings.

I have three siblings, so you know, those relationships are sometimes weird. I'm really close with one of my brothers, but my other two I'm like, “I need to figure you out. Are you being really rude or what's your problem?” The communication there, you know? And so, it's helped me see there's not somebody that's wrong and somebody that's right. There's not somebody that's annoying and somebody that's funny. It's just a personality thing. It's been really liberating in that way.

CHRISTINA: That's awesome. I think for me, my husband and I are kind of like the more traditional roles. He is a 3. Which one is the achiever? 3 or 6? I don't remember. He really works on his image and has to be very successful. It really means a lot to him. And I'm more or less like, “Just let's not fight. Everybody get along.” You know, the peacemaker. So yeah, for us it is a little bit more traditional, but I love how you embrace what you are.

It’s sad that the world hasn't come to that yet. I feel like in this age we should be at a point where we're accepting each other. I think that your accepting that about yourself is just awesome. Especially Brian, who is just so sweet. I just love him. He's so cute. I love you guys.

ALLIE: He's so funny when he does the podcast. I always say, “You don't have to be on anything. I never want you to feel like you have to.” And he's always like, “Oh no, I really want to.” He'll come to me with ideas and then we sit down to do it. I always have my hand on his knee and I can feel him tensing up, and we have to do seven takes in the beginning of the episode. He's like, “Okay, I got it now.” And then we'll just go with it and totally flow and the episode is great. But it's so funny to me because he seems so nervous and tense and I'm like, “You don't have to be on here.” He's always like, “I'm just thinking about all those people listening.” And I'm like, “Why would you think about that? I never think about that. I just do my thing.”

It's just funny that you can be so different, but you can still show up in the same way. He can still show up and serve people, it’s just different. It doesn't take him one take with no mess ups, like it does me. It's cool to learn how to be patient with each other's quirks and stuff.

CHRISTINA: Yeah. That's awesome. That's the last question I have.

ALLIE: That’s the last one on the list. I try not to look at every single thing that's typed up because I don't want to come in pre-prepped, but it's helpful in case people don't show up or whatever. But I saw the topics that you picked and I was like, “Oh! This is going to be so good!” And I was really excited.

Thank you for caring, listening to the show, and showing up with amazing questions. You are just such a light. You are. You’re just doing a great job. You're beautiful, shiny, bright, and amazing. You're inspiring to me. So just know that.

CHRISTINA: Thank you. I wish you could see how many women that your life has touched.

I mean I'm sure you see it in some aspects, but there's a lot of women where I share your message and they're constantly messaging me like, “Oh my gosh! This is changing my life. I'm actually scheduling time to get down on the floor and play with my kids.”

I'm your biggest fan. I share you all the time. Your messages are just so good. It's so good. It’s so important that this message gets out there because there are just so many moms that look at each other and they go, “Oh, that's just how life is. It just sucks. It's always a mess. Your kids are always going to be either in a pile of crap or you're going to suffer cleaning all day long.”

ALLIE: There's a lot of shame in being a total mess mom, and there's also another level of shame in not being that. Not that I have it all together. There's always something that's kind of dropped off. If I'm killing it at the business one day, then my house is a little messy. If I'm killing it at motherhood then, in the business some things didn't get done. There's always a balance, but I think there's a different level of shame that comes in when you are doing well and loving it. There's shame in that and it's awful.

CHRISTINA: It is awful. How do you respond to them? I mean I know that's your business, that's your heart. But for people who follow you, and we want to share this and want to share you. Usually I'm just like, “Okay, there's this girl named Allie…”

I'm the peacemaker and I don't want to rile people up. But when I see these people posting, a lot of times on social media, things like: “My house is a crap mess.” I hesitate to comment because I don't want to shame them. I want them to see that there's a light, but I also don't want to make myself look like I'm better than them or anything. What would you suggest if you see people posting things like that? Even if they are asking for help, what's a good way to say that this message is out there, without being rude and without shaming them?

ALLIE: Yeah, I understand that because that's my job. I love marketing so much, but it is so hard to figure out the marketing message behind what I do without coming across as preachy. I can't even tell you how many hours and hours and hours Brian and I have poured into it. Especially him being a guy, he'll say, “Why don't you just say this?” And I'm like, “Okay, if I said that—that was a guy thing to say because I would never get a follower again.”

It's very hard to say, “I can help you,” without it sounding like, “because I'm better than you.” And that is not my heart at all. What I would say and what I've been doing is thinking about it like it's a story that you're telling and you've been there. You've stood where they're standing and you came out of it. Come at it with that heart, like you're doing them a service by telling them, “Oh my gosh, yes! I could have posted a picture just like this times 10 last year. Have you ever heard of (whatever)? It's been such a lifesaver for me.”

I always try to say, “I'm not going to preach at you. I'm not gonna tell you exactly what to do, but rather just help you shift your perspective so you can figure it out yourself.” That's just how I've done it. Tell a story that started exactly in that photo: “That was my photo and now it's not, and it doesn't have to stay that way.” Rather than, “You should…” Never say “should.”

You know what really breaks my heart too, is when I get tagged in something and it's something like that. I wish there was a way to remove that tag. I do not want to be associated with: “You should look at Allie. You can be way better than this. She'll just help you.” No. That is not what I do. I hate it.

It's a problem and, especially, I think, mothers are very protective over their role and what they're doing, and it can feel convicting because of what’s within their own selves. So you can't control that. But I think if you can look at the comment and you're like, “This isn't preachy. This is funny and relatable and I’ve stood where you stood,” and it’s helpful, then it's a green light, you know?

CHRISTINA: Yeah. Awesome.

ALLIE: Thank you so much for taking the time to talk to me. I'm so happy that you're here. Really. This was so good and you're just amazing. I'm really thankful for you taking the time away from your kids to talk to me and help the ladies that are going to watch this later and that are watching right now. Thank you so much.

CHRISTINA: Thank you so much for having me. I just want to say to anybody listening that hasn't been down the journey before, it's so, so, so worth the work. Get one of Allie’s courses. Anything she has is amazing and it changes your life. So yeah. Team Allie!

ALLIE: Thank you Christina. I just adore you. I will talk to you later.



This was an episode of The Purpose Show. Did you know there is an exclusive community created solely for the purpose of continuing discussions surrounding The Purpose Show episodes? And to get you to actually take action and make positive changes on the things that you learn here? Go be a part of it. To join go to facebook.com/groups/purposefulmamas.

Thank you so much for tuning in. If you are ready to uplevel and really take action on the things I talk about on my show, and get step-by-step help from me, head to alliecasazza.com. There are free downloads, courses, classes, and ways to learn more about what the next step might look like for you and to focus on whatever you might need help with in whatever season you are in right now.  

I am always rooting for you, friend! See ya next time!

Hey mama! Just a quick note, this post may contain affiliate links.

Ep 072: 5 Super Honest Things I'm Afraid to Share with You

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With the growth of my podcast and my business, I have come to this point where I really want to make sure I can be myself. I want to let that guard down and be who I am without fear of what people will think or say about me! It's easy to accidentally misunderstand somebody and think of them as a perfect being with all these beautiful photos on Instagram. And recently, I've been feeling a lot more comfortable with being vulnerable and it's making me more authentic, which I hope is making you guys feel more connected to me.

I hope this episode just breaks it down and makes me real. I'm here with you. My kids are young. I'm still figuring this out. I'm just always reworking things and trying to be the best version of myself so that I can help you guys and connect with you. I don't want to just teach you things and make you think I'm perfect, my family has it all together, and I have it all figured it. Because that is not true! And so, cheers to a lot more connectivity, a lot more honesty, a lot more fun social media posts, fun podcast episodes that are still super helpful, but help you see me as human.

 
 

In This Episode Allie Discusses:

  • The standard and pressure she faces because of her message and what she teaches.

  • How guilty she feels for being exhausted at times when it comes to her business and having to turn things down.

  • Why she chooses to delegate certain responsibilities in her home and business to other people.

  • The reality of mom guilt and having to push through not wanting to do things with your kids.

Mentioned in this Episode:


10:10 CHALLENGE

If you feel like your house is just always out of control, it's totally crazy and you'd love to take some of the advice I give here on The Purpose Show, and my blog, but you just kind of feel like you're so frozen and overwhelmed, you can't even.

I created a new challenge. It's called the 10:10 challenge. It's super, super simplified. This whole thing is 10 minutes a day every day for 10 days.

It’s going to build a happier mom and a happier home for your family.

Allie's 10_10 Challenge Mockup (1).png

who doesn't love a GIVEAWAY?

Reviews are everything on iTunes! Would you take a minute and click here to leave a review? Email hello@alliecasazza.com with a screenshot of your review on iTunes. You'll be entered to win one of Allie's amazing courses for FREE!  

If you have a question, comment or a suggestion about today’s episode, or the podcast in general, send me an email at hello@alliecasazza.com or connect with me over on Facebook & Instagram


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Mom life. We are surrounded with the message that it’s the tired life. The no-time-for-myself life. The hard life. And while it is hard and full of lots of servitude, the idea that motherhood means a joyless life is something I am passionate about putting a stop to. I’m on a mission to help you stop counting down the minutes till bedtime, at least most days. I want you to stop cleaning up after your kid’s childhood and start being present for it. Start enjoying it. I believe in John 10:10 “that we are called to abundant life” and I know mothers are not excluded from that promise. Join me in conversations about simplicity, minimalism and lots of other good stuff that leads to a life of less for the sake of enjoying more in your motherhood. I’m Allie Casazza and this is The Purpose Show.

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Hey, beautiful listeners! Welcome to another episode of The Purpose Show. I'm so glad that you're here!

I don't know how you found me - if you've been here from the get-go or if somebody shared this with you or you found it randomly, but I do believe you're here listening for a reason and whatever that reason is, I'm just really, really glad to have you and I want you to know that.

This episode could be really fun for you guys. I am getting vulnerable and messy today in this episode and I'm sharing 5 super honest things that I'm afraid to share with you.

So, let me preface this episode with something. I'm not really a person who reacts or acts out of fear at all. I am kind of a risk taker. I think that's one thing that makes me a good entrepreneur.

I don't typically care what other people think. It can be a strength and also a weakness in that I can come off as insensitive sometimes. I just don't tend to kind of worry and act a certain way, just in case, because I don't want to be perceived as something. I just tend to not really live my life that way.

But recently, just with a lot of the success and growth that's come my way, I've been kind of freaked out by just larger numbers, more people and that always leads to more comments and messages. It's not all negative. It's not that people are messaging me terrible things or anything. I mean, sure, that happens every once in a while and that's just part of the job, but it's more so that the questions that come in kind of have undertones of expectations for me.

And that's been really weird for me and hard. I don't know if that even makes any sense, if you understand what it is I mean by that, but things like, “Hey Allie, here's my situation, and I was wondering what do you do about _____? How do you stay on top of this thing?” All of those questions, while they're perfectly fine questions and I always welcome your guys' feedback, questions, messages or whatever, they have this underlying tone of “You’ve got it all together, so I wanted to know how you do this.”

And a lot of the time the question is something that I either don't really think about. I'm very, very much not a Type A person. I don't overthink. I don't plan everything. Routine and structure is something I've had to teach myself because I'm very spontaneous. I can be organized in certain ways, but I'm just not “super plan-y” and I don't analyze everything that I do, so sometimes I just don't really know an answer to that.

And it's been weird for me because I kind of subconsciously, just like automatically wanted to come up with an answer and I'd be like, “Oh my gosh, why don't I know the answer to that? That seems like something that I would have an answer to, but I don't really know.” And I've had to really learn to be okay with, “I don't know” or “Hmm, I haven’t really thought that deeply about it. Now that I'm thinking about it, I guess I usually do this or if that was my situation I might do this.”

But really, if you've ever messaged me on Instagram and you've been one to ask me one of those questions, you'll find that a lot of the time my answer is kind of like “I would maybe do this, but to be honest it's not really something that I worry about or focus on.”

I'm prefacing this episode with this before I get into the honest things because I feel like I fell backwards into this life where a lot of things that I do and say are analyzed. And sometimes it feels like I'm living in a fishbowl.

It's not that there's fame or anything. I'm just a blogger with a small platform. But there are some people looking and it feels weird and it's vulnerable and difficult. And I know how mean people can be. And I don't want to let anyone down. I think that's a big issue for me. Just being a stereotype oldest child, I don't want to let anyone down, and I feel the need to carry the load. And so, I do. And I kind of try to hold it all together. But honestly, guys, sometimes I just don't know.

And that thought, and just journaling through that thought a couple months ago, has really empowered me to be more “me,” especially on social media. And it's been a really neat journey. I've just been letting down my guard and opening up and be like “this is who I am and if I rub you the wrong way or I say something that you don't believe or you don't like the way I answered something, that's okay. You don't have to stay here and I'm not here to make sure you stay.”

I'm here to serve the person that I can serve and I can't serve somebody who I rub the wrong way. I can't serve somebody who doesn't believe in some of the core things I talk about and that's okay.

So things like just being myself. The way that I parent my kids. And I love Jesus, but I cuss a little. Things like that. I can't care anymore. And just letting that guard down and being who I am has been so huge for me. And I hope it's shown up. I really do hope it's shown up lately. I've just been feeling a lot more comfortable and it's making me more authentic. And I think it's connecting me more to you guys. Those of you who are my people and are the ones that I'm supposed to serve.

So, in journaling through some of these “heart issues” a couple months ago, I started to write down some of the things that I would just struggle with sharing, that are kind of a part of the facade that I haven't really like consciously built up. Like, “Oh, I gotta be put together. I got to be fake. I got to make sure they see me as this.”

I'm not about that. I've never been about that. But it's almost just been this like automatic subconscious thing that I've built up like, “I need to have an answer to this.” I have just kind of worked it down and broken that down.

I'm going to share a few things that I noticed came up a lot when I was just kind of working through this, praying about it, journaling through it, and asking myself, “What are the things that I feel like I need to uphold that are just total B.S. and not me at all?” And so, I thought, after I made that list, that it would be a good episode and just kind of challenge me to step out even more and share with you guys with those things are.

So that's kind of the basis of this episode. That's where it came from and it's just something that I'm working through. And The Purpose Show is about a lot of things. It's about motherhood and life, trying to find balance and living an abundant, full, good, happy life, right where you're at.

Not waiting for your kids to get older and not waiting for your money to increase. Not waiting for everything to be perfect, but enjoying it right now. And so much goes into that, that it's hard to kind of put my finger on what is The Purpose Show?

And so, The Purpose Show is about what I'm going through. What I'm learning. What you guys are asking and me sharing what I know with you and just connecting with you. And so, I think The Purpose Show will ebb and flow, like the rest of my blog and my business has, as I've evolved as a person, as we all do.

I think that this is just kind of a step in a new direction. Just vulnerability (and pronouncing words correctly) and just getting real and sharing this is who I am. It's easy to accidentally misunderstand somebody and make them up to this perfect being with all the beautiful photos. I'm sharing helpful tips and tricks and I think that can easily be misconstrued as perfection and that's not what I want at all.

And so, if there's any chance that I have accidentally done that, I hope this episode just breaks it down and makes me real. I'm here with you. My kids are young. I'm still figuring this out. I'm just always reworking things and trying to be the best version of myself so that I can help you guys and connect with you. I don't want to just teach you and be above you and I'm perfect. I don't want that.

So, that's kinda where I'm at and let's dive in to 5 super honest things I'm afraid to share with you.

So, the first thing is that motherhood is hard. It's dang hard. Life is messy. It isn't perfect and I never said it was for me. But that's the standard I feel like I'm being held up to a lot of the time because of what I do, what I talk about, and the picture that social media and the internet puts in front of you guys, no matter what. I love beautiful photos but I feel like in my captions I'm pretty real and pretty honest. I share a lot of my flaws, mistakes and things that I'm learning. But even with that I feel like I kind of get put on a pedestal. And I do it. I do it with influencers that I admire for sure.

But I feel like what I want to say to you is I change my mind all the time. I'm a normal human being and what works for me in one season doesn't work as well in the next. For example, waking up at 5:00 a.m. I haven't been doing that for a couple months. I did that for maybe two years solid. And at one point (I've shared this before) I woke up at 4:00 a.m. when I was starting my business while Brian still worked at his job.

So, I've changed a lot. Now, I've been waking up a little bit later, maybe around 6:45-7:00 a.m. and just letting my body wake me up. Having a different type of productive morning because my kids are older and they don't wake up at 5:00 a.m. and need me. I don't have to quick, jump up and be ahead of them. I can send them down for breakfast and have my daughter pour cereal. They do the dishes and they start their busy work for school on their own without me. I can come down and get my coffee, check that everyone's good and then come upstairs, shut my door and have my quiet morning time without it being dark outside still.

And it's funny because people talk to me like I never change anything. Like I'm a robot who always does the same thing that I shared before and never, ever changes. It's a really weird pressure. And then when I openly share, “Oh actually I don't do that in this season, but when I did, here's how I handled it,” people act like I just shredded a Bible or something. Like I shocked and offended them and I have betrayed their trust.

It's funny and also really terrible. It's kind of an awful pressure to feel. But what I've realized is that I don't need to live by that pressure. That pressure doesn’t need to be on me. If somebody else is putting that on me, that's their issue, not mine. It's okay to change and to go with the ebb and flow of your life. We're made for seasons. God created the seasons on the earth and there are so symbolic of us as human beings. We're created for seasons. We need seasons. We’re made to not stay in the same thing for very long. Things change. Kids grow up. Schedules shifts. You get busy and then you get less busy. I talk about that all the time too. We just are leaving a really calm, fun season of no calendar commitments, lots of fun day trips and travel, and kind of coming into, okay, we've got baseball, softball, piano lessons, Spanish class. Homeschooling is back on. Theater class on Thursday nights. We're doing all these things. It's busy and full and very regimented.

So, you know, maybe as we head into this season, I might start to wake up a little bit earlier again. I don't know. But I haven't been in that season. And if I still was, if I was forcing myself to be a robot and just keep waking up super, super early because I said I would and everyone expects me to – man, what a joyless life. And in a weird way I’d actually be being really hypocritical and not living my abundant life in this specific season because I feel like I have to be upheld to what I once said worked for me.

So, I feel like it's a weird situation. It's definitely specific to what I do in my job, but it's so funny. Anytime I say like, “Oh, I don't really do that anymore,” people just act shocked and it's just put a weird pressure on me. And so, one of the things that I'm super honest with you about today is that I'm not perfect. Motherhood is hard. Things ebb and flow. I'm always changing and always looking for what's going to work next and I feel like it's like a weird thing that I'm not allowed to do that.

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If you feel like your house is just always out of control, it's totally crazy and you'd love to take some of the advice I give here on The Purpose Show, and my blog, but you just kind of feel like you're so frozen and overwhelmed, you can't even. I created a new challenge. It's called the 10:10 challenge. It's super, super simplified.

It's email based so you can open the emails and take it at your own pace. And even the emails are a few sentences. It's really, really simplified.

This is designed for the really overwhelmed mom who wants to kickstart her house and build some momentum, because as I always talk about - momentum is where it's at to making progress, actually taking action, and having that longevity of action that's going to change your life in the long run.

So the 10:10 challenge. This whole thing is 10 minutes a day every day for 10 days.

It’s going to build a happier mom and a happier home for your family.

To take this challenge, (it's totally free by the way) go to alliecasazza.com/1010.

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The second thing is I want to share that what I do is friggin’ exhausting and I struggle with feeling guilty that I'm exhausted by it because it's a huge blessing.

So, things like being an introvert and hosting a podcast. Hosting my podcast entails coming up with content ideas, outlining what I'm going to say, thinking of, okay, I want to make sure I don't miss this point, and really focusing - even meditating - on a topic to make sure that I don't leave anything out that could come out of me that would serve you really well for this particular topic.

It involves talking to celebrity guests, people that I admire and deeply look up to. That's a lot of stress and pressure. That involves reading their books. Researching them. Getting to know them. Making sure I've got down how many kids they have. If they're married, who they're married to. What are some of their likes and dislikes? What's a way that I can connect with them when they first get on the call and we're recording? Prepping for those interviews is completely nerve wracking and just don't even count the anxiety leading up to that interview. I think about it every day. It's a lot of pressure.

My job also involves live streaming and being very “on” and vulnerable. That's my calling. I know it's my calling. I know it's what I'm supposed to be, but it takes a lot out of me. Sometimes I feel guilty, based on some of the looks and responses I've gotten expressing how exhausting my job is. I feel guilty sometimes that I'm exhausted by it because I'm really blessed. I get to do what I love. I get to help other moms. I get to sit behind my desk and write from my passion, about my passion.

I get to talk to authors that everybody looks up to. And it's all good. But it is exhausting. I work so hard. I'm constantly coming from a place of servitude for you guys because I love you so crazy much. You would be weirded out by how much I love you. You specifically listening. I adore you and I am here to serve you. That's why I create my courses. That's why I do this podcast. That's why I go out on a ledge and make myself a nervous wreck to interview these amazing guests to bring on the show for you guys. I adore you and that is freaking exhausting.

There was a situation recently where I was around some people that I know and I had to take a phone call from Ashley, who does my podcast work for me, and she had texted me like, “Hey, I know you're busy, but I really have some time sensitive things that I need to go over with you. Just two seconds. Can I call you?” I said, “Yes.”

We got on the phone and I stepped away from the group of people that I was near. I was on the phone and I was just trying to deal with the issue, talk to Ashley. I had said the sentence, “Yes, that's fine. Just make sure that you don't schedule a guest interview on the same day as I have a webinar because that would be completely exhausting.” I overheard somebody in the group of people that I was near… I know these people. I was related to them and they are friends. I heard one of them say, “Oh my God, that does sound exhausting. Doesn't it?” And the other person was like, “Yeah, super exhausting! Oh my God, I’m just so exhausted even just hearing about it.”

I overheard that and I'll never forget it. It just wrecked me. It really, really deeply hurt my feelings because that's one of my biggest fears, that I would come off as annoying, ungrateful, I don't know, unrelatable I guess.

These points that I'm going through, they really don't have any wrap up. I'm just sharing. There's no end-all, be-all point to this episode. Just complete vulnerability and sharing with you that I'm a human being and these things happen. They’re big fears of mine.

So that is the second thing, that what I do is exhausting and I struggle with feeling guilty that I'm exhausted by such a huge blessing that I get to do for you guys. It's one of those things like runners in the marathon. They bleed. They hurt their legs. They bust their knees. They wreck their bodies for it. They don't have to do it, but they do it because they love it and the pain is part of the thrill and the passion. That's how I feel about what I do. I'm not going to ever stop because of these things, because it's exhausting, because I get anxious before I talk to a guest, because I have to be “on” all the time and I'm an introvert.

I know that I am right where God's called me to be and I am fulfilling my passion and my purpose and I get to do that and I get to get paid for that. That's incredible. I believe that's abundant life. That's where the sweet spot is for all of us. But I get exhausted from that and that's okay.

The next thing that I want to share with you is I don't want to do a lot of things and I feel guilty about not wanting to do those things. Do you see how these things, a lot of them are centering around guilt? I think we all struggle with guilt in some way and this is one way where it's just really been hitting me hard lately. What I mean by that is I don't want to do a lot of things. Playing with my kids, cooking for my family, homeschooling my kids.

These are all things that I do that I talk about all the time and I don't really want to do any of those things. I don't really like cooking. I have ways that I can create an atmosphere that I enjoy more, like putting some music on, lighting a candle, cooking a meal that’s not going to take me more than 30-40 minutes, maybe having a glass of wine while I cook, but I really don't like cooking.

I really don't want to play with my kids. Unless it's Super Mario brothers, I don't want to play with my kids. And I talk a lot about being a present mom who's able to sit and play with her kids instead of showing them a way to go play so she can clean. I'm trying to make a point about your time, your life and your joy, but I think because of that, people think that I want to play with my kids all the time and they're like, “What happens if you don't really want to play with your kids though?”

I don't either, but I want more for them to have memories of me being with them, so I do it. I don't really love homeschooling my kids. I shared this on Instagram recently. I really don't like homeschooling. I really don't. But I love the benefits of the lifestyle of homeschooling. The flexibility. The freedom. The time that I get to pour into my kids. It's seven hours more per weekday that they're with me instead of away from me, and I think that's really huge for my kids specifically.

So, there's a lot of things that I talk about that I do that I don't want to do. I have no passion for sitting on the floor and building Legos, that's for sure. And sometimes I feel guilty about that, but I'm throwing that out and calling it total B.S. Nobody wants to play with their kids all the time, but it's something that I work towards, that I do and that I talk about because I think it's important, and I want the results of that more than I want the thing.

So, anyone who's ever heard me talking about playing with your kids or saying, “let's play” instead of “go play,” I'm talking about having a life that allows that for you, and doing it every once in a while because you love your kids and you want them to have memories of you being present with them, not constantly cleaning and maintaining a life that you didn't get to live. I don't want to play with my kids, so don't feel guilty if that's you too.

The next thing is I want you to know and just be super honest, that I don't do it all. I am such a huge believer in delegating you guys. I think because I help other moms simplify their lives and streamline their roles so that they can do it all easier and enjoy the process more, I think because of that, everyone assumes that I do everything in my own life myself and I don't.

I've shared about this before, but I have a housekeeping team that comes every week and I would gladly sign up for three times a week if I could. I order predetermined meals from a food service and then I cook from what they send me and half the time Brian's the one that cooks them. I have a personal assistant who makes returns and runs basic errands for me. They even went to the DMV for me the other day and I signed a form that gave them the right to make decisions about my vehicle for me. I have a team of people, there's like 9 or 10 of them now, that are full time contractors who help me run the business. I don't do it all.

So, if you've been believing that… I've haven't been afraid to tell you that one. I feel like I'm pretty open about it, but I always want to take the opportunity to say again I do not do it all. I believe in delegating.

If I did it all, I wouldn't be able to be here talking with you. There is absolutely no way that I could homeschool my kids, run this business, keep a perfectly clean house, be caught up on the laundry, run all my errands, make sure my target list is always checked off, make sure that I've got all the cleaning supplies that I need, make sure that the groceries are shopped for and everything is stocked. Make sure my husband is happy and we're good. Our relationship is good. That I could show up and be present for our once a week date nights. There is no freaking way.

If that is your life and you're trying to do at all, please stop. Find something to delegate. Just something. Get a VA, get a personal assistant. You don't have to work to have one. Hire a college kid and have them run your errands for you. Do something. I don't do it all.

The last thing that I want to share with you is that I'm a businesswoman and I love that side of what I do. I don't want to talk about mom stuff all the time. I am so passionate about my mission to help other moms lighten their load, but I am also super passionate about entrepreneurship and running a business.

I would rather talk about marketing than motherhood most of the time. That's something that's been really heavy on me lately, and just feeling like the stress and guilt of, man, what is this gonna look like? How am I going to transition this? I feel less joy when I'm in my business talking about motherhood things. How would I bring in entrepreneurship and what I do? I don't know how it's gonna shake out you guys, but that's just one of those things that I always feel weird about. It’s starting to come up in me as I evolve as a person.

Again, just like waking up early in some seasons and not in others, I'm evolving as a person. And the fact that I would mostly like to talk about marketing, branding, blogging and creating courses, creating a life that you love and crazy amazing revenue in a business that you could start from home with almost no overhead. That is amazing to me. That is something that I am very passionate about and I really never get to talk about it. I do some like private coaching with friends just because I love it, for free, which usually when you're doing something like that, it means that you should start doing that as a business and charge for it. We'll see what happens there, but that's just one of those little secrets about me that I always feel weird about and I just felt like I wanted to share it.

So, there you have it. 5 super honest things that I'm afraid to share with you. I hope that this episode was just fun for you to hear. I hope it humanized me a lot because I'm pretty sick and tired of not feeling that that's how you guys see me. I love you guys and I want to connect with you for real. Cheers. I'm holding my Starbucks coffee up right now because my coffee machine broke this morning and I've got Starbucks. Cheers to a lot more connectivity, a lot more honesty, a lot more fun social media posts, fun podcast episodes that are still super, super helpful, but help you see me as human.


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This was an episode of The Purpose Show. Did you know there is an exclusive community created solely for the purpose of continuing discussions surrounding The Purpose Show episodes? And to get you to actually take action and make positive changes on the things that you learn here? Go be a part of it. To join go to facebook.com/groups/purposefulmamas.

Thank you so much for tuning in. If you are ready to uplevel and really take action on the things I talk about on my show, and get step-by-step help from me, head to alliecasazza.com. There are free downloads, courses, classes, and ways to learn more about what the next step might look like for you and to focus on whatever you might need help with in whatever season you are in right now.  

I am always rooting for you, friend!

See ya next time!

Hey mama! Just a quick note, this post may contain affiliate links.

Ep 068: Ask Brian + Allie Anything! Anniversary Edition

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Welcome to this month’s Coffee & Questions segment here on The Purpose Show! In this version, I have Brian with me because we are celebrating 11 years of marriage this month! We get asked a lot of questions about our relationship and we thought this was a fun way to answer some of them. From how Brian proposed to what we are looking forward to in the next 11 years of our marriage, if you asked a question, we may answer it in this episode! So, sit down, cozy up, get a cup of coffee, and let’s chat!

 
 

In This Episode Allie and Brian Discuss:

  • Their favorite features about one another (hint, Allie has a thing for Brian’s muscles!).

  • How their awkward proposal story reflects their fun relationship.

  • Ways they handle differences in their marriage, personalities, and parenting styles and how they use those differences to strengthen their family.

  • Why they cannot play board games (anyone else super competitive?).

Mentioned in this Episode:

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Motherhood is hard. I am not going to lie to you about that. While it is servitude and giving to your family from yourself, it doesn’t have to be something that we are waiting to be over. Something that we are counting down the minutes till naptime, or bedtime, or waiting for the next day to start. If you are wanting to sort through the clutter in your mind, your heart, your home calendar, your health, routines, and relationships, I created Unburdened just for you!


who doesn't love a GIVEAWAY?

Reviews are everything on iTunes! Would you take a minute and click here to leave a review? Email hello@alliecasazza.com with a screenshot of your review on iTunes. You'll be entered to win one of Allie's amazing courses for FREE!  

If you have a question, comment or a suggestion about today’s episode, or the podcast in general, send me an email at hello@alliecasazza.com or connect with me over on Facebook & Instagram


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Hey friend! There is no transcription for this episode. Thanks for listening!

 

Brian's Avocado Benedict Recipe:  

Prep the hollandaise sauce. I use this recipe: http://www.pinchmeimeating.com/easy-hollandaise-sauce/

Toast a slice of sourdough, or English muffin, or sweet potato “slice” for a Paleo version. You can put a little olive oil or grass-fed butter on the toast before you toast it if you like.

Make guacamole out of half an avocado (salt, pepper, little bit of lime juice, little bit of garlic powder & diced onions)

Poach an egg or two for about 4 minutes

Sizzle up a slice or two of bacon

Put a layer of the avocado mix, a little spring mix or arugula on the toast, a slice of bacon, followed by the poached egg(s) on top of your choice of toast. You can sprinkle some salt and pepper on top if you like

Drizzle the hollandaise on top and enjoy!


Here are some of my favorite photos from our wedding day. I cannot believe this was 11 years ago!

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Ep 055: 13 Things You Didn’t Know About The Early Days Of My Blog

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This episode is really light and fun! I wanted to share with you some of the stories and moments from the early part of my days as a blogger that you don’t know. From starting as a family blog to learning how to make money without ads and sponsorships, there have been some really great (and funny!) moments along the journey. I am letting you in on some of the behind-the-scenes, funny, interesting, and inspiring stories. I look back and see how I evolved as a writer, as a blogger, and as a person, and never in a million years did I think my blog would bring so much light to the topic of minimalism and simple living. But here we are now, and I love every moment of it!

 
 

In This Episode, Allie Discusses:

  • What the early days of her blog looked liked. (Did you know it was originally called The Casazza Family Blog?)

  • How she learned to make money from her blog without using ads or sponsorships.

  • Her transition from starting as an inspiring blog to a more tactile, actionable one.

  • What brought her to hire her first assistant and how that has helped her business grow.

Mentioned in this Episode:

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Motherhood is hard. I am not going to lie to you about that. While it is servitude and giving to your family from yourself, it doesn’t have to be something that we are waiting to be over.  Something that we are counting down the minutes till naptime, or bedtime, or waiting for the next day to start. If you are wanting to sort through the clutter in your mind, your heart, your home calendar, your health, routines, and relationships, I created Unburdened just for you!

It is a guide that will help you go from drowning in the sea of stress and overwhelm, to owning your time and living the best version of your motherhood. So you can live abundantly while intentionally focusing on those who matter most.


who doesn't love a GIVEAWAY?

Reviews are everything on iTunes! Would you take a minute and click here to leave a review? Email hello@alliecasazza.com with a screenshot of your review on iTunes. You'll be entered to win one of Allie's amazing courses for FREE!  

If you have a question, comment or a suggestion about today’s episode, or the podcast in general, send me an email at hello@alliecasazza.com or connect with me over on Facebook & Instagram


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Mom life. We are surrounded with the message that it’s the tired life. The no-time-for-myself life. The hard life. And while it is hard and full of lots of servitude, the idea that motherhood means a joyless life is something I am passionate about putting a stop to. I’m on a mission to help you stop counting down the minutes till bedtime, at least most days. I want you to stop cleaning up after your kid’s childhood and start being present for it. Start enjoying it. I believe in John 10:10 “that we are called to abundant life” and I know mothers are not excluded from that promise. Join me in conversations about simplicity, minimalism and lots of other good stuff that leads to a life of less for the sake of enjoying more in your motherhood. I’m Allie Casazza and this is The Purpose Show.

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Hey friends! Oh my gosh, I am so looking forward to this episode. It’s gonna be so fun!

I had this idea when I was getting questions doing a really fun Instagram Live Q &A. I just can’t wait!

I put a list together of funny things and interesting things about the early days of my blogging journey. I came up with 13 things you probably didn't know about the early days of my blog. This will be super fun!

Okay. The first thing is it actually started in 2011 as a family newsletter. It was called The Casazza Family Blog. It looked terrible. It had a really generic background on it of blue sky and grass. It was just meant to keep family up-to-date on our life. I had just had Leland and I felt like things were just getting really crazy. I've got two babies now. I'm noticing that I'm busier than I used to be. I think it would be a good writing outlet (because I've always been a writer) to have a place to update everybody and have a family newsletter instead of sending out emails.

So, that's actually how this whole thing started, which I think is hilarious.

I remember writing the blog posts about when Leland was born, having a picture of his little feet in black and white, writing about the birth and updating everyone on how he was doing.

And side note, also fun fact. We actually used to spell Leland's name with two “e's” and then we changed it after he was a year old, to just one “e.” Who does that? I remember it was like “Leeland Cade’s Birth.” And it's just so funny and so ridiculous. It was just so funny. But, that's how it started.

A second fun fact is that after that I started really get the “blogging bug.” I've always been a writer and I found that I was able to write somewhere. It was a really great outlet for me. After the kids would go to bed, I started writing about my thoughts and feelings, what I was learning about marriage and motherhood and all these different things. And The Casazza Family Blog just felt, I don’t know, it didn't feel like it fit anymore, especially because in my mind it was a newsletter for family members. And so, I came up with a name, The Purposeful Housewife, and it turned into that later.

A third fun fact is that it was hosted on Blogspot. I don't know if you guys remember Blogspot. It was owned by Google. I don't even know if it still exists or if people are still using it, but it was the place to be back in the day.

My website was thepurposefulhousewife.blogspot.com because I couldn't for the life of me figure out how to get my own URL. I didn't know anything. So, it was hosted on Blogspot. It was super beta and it's so funny. I used the generic backgrounds and themes and a barely readable font. And I thought I was so amazing and so cool.

I was blogging all of these things that I was learning about and I remember that time as a time where I was so in love with blogging. It was a fun time, but I did not realize how little I knew.

Next fact is I once spent two weeks trying to figure out how to get my own URL and that is basically “Blogging 101.” It is so incredibly straightforward. It's hilarious that I spent weeks trying to figure that out. And I remember I didn't even end up figuring it out. It stayed the .blogspot.com for a long time because I couldn't figure it out.

Next thing is it used to have music on it. So, you would go to my blog and it's an instrumental version of, I don't know, some One Republic, like Happy Song, used to play and you would be listening to music while you read about what I was learning as a wife that month. About the day that I figured out that if I was feeling really down and stuck, that if I just packed the kids up, wore my baby and went to the park, it would turn into a really good day.

And I wrote about how I liked being outside. How I found that if we would just get out of the house, the day would get better. All of these super basic things that I was learning as a new mom. You would be listening to music, and it was just hilarious.

The sixth thing is that my blog actually used to read kind of like a devotional. It wasn't very practical. It was very deep and really devotional-based. And now it's way more tactical, practical tips, action-oriented things.

I have thought about this a lot. Why did it change? Why was it so different back then? I realize it changed because that's just where my writing naturally took me as time went on.

When you do something over and over and over again, when you're writing all these different times week after week for years, you change. You learn things. You adapt and you become a certain type of writer. That's naturally how I evolved as a writer, as a blogger, as a person.

I also realize that that's the type of person that I am. I'm a really blunt, logical, practical person. If somebody comes to me with a problem, I listen. I'm there and I'm really empathetic. I'll often cry for my friend and they're not even crying yet. I am a good friend and I can listen. Then I get like, “Okay, what are we going to do about this?”

I've had so many times in my life where I'll be like, “You know what? I'm just really not happy with the way things are going right now. I'm going to change my entire life.” And I will do it. I'm passionate about taking action in my own life and helping other people actually do something about their problems and take action.

So, I think as I matured and got deeper into motherhood and deeper into writing, this is what I evolved into. It is really interesting to think about things like that.

Number seven is the pictures on my blog were actually stolen and illegal because that's how clueless I was. So, you're not allowed to just Google “pictures of a sad woman” and then save the image to your computer and use it in a blog post. That's illegal. You don't have the rights to do that. You have to get the photos from a location that says “it's okay to take our photos and use them on your website,” where the copyrights allow for that. And I did not know about that. So, for a long, long time the pictures on my tiny little blog were illegal and nobody really noticed because nobody was watching me.

But I do remember one day I had a blog post that was a really reflective blog post about an older couple that I had a conversation with. It was about marriage and I had googled “picture of an old couple” and there was a really beautiful picture of an old man kissing the forehead of his elderly wife. It was really sweet and I used the photo on that blog post and that blog post gained some traction.

It was actually my first blog post ever that went somewhere in the internet. It didn't go viral or anything, but it got to more than five people and that was a big deal for me. It got to hundreds of people and people were passing it around. They really liked it. And I remember getting an email in my inbox that day that was like, “Hey, you need to take this photo down. You don't have the rights to use it. It's mine.” And I freaked out! So, fact number seven, my pictures used to be illegally stolen because that's how clueless I was.

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Do you feel like you are barely getting through your days friend? Does motherhood feel more like a hurricane of chaos that you are just surviving rather than the awesome, joy-filled season that you want it to be?

Well, motherhood is hard. I am not going to lie to you about that. While it is servitude and giving to your family from yourself, it doesn’t have to be something that we are waiting to be over.  Something that we are counting down the minutes till naptime, or bedtime, or waiting for the next day to start. If you are wanting to sort through the clutter in your mind, your heart, your home calendar, your health, routines, and relationships, I created Unburdened just for you!

It is a guide that will help you go from drowning in the sea of stress and overwhelm, to owning your time and living the best version of your motherhood. So you can live abundantly while intentionally focusing on those who matter most.

Unburdened is the overwhelmed beginner’s guide to a simpler motherhood.

In Unburdened, I will walk you through how to stop over-complicating, procrastinating, and just start making positive changes now. How to declutter, just a little bit – not super deep into it, because you can’t handle that when you are this overwhelmed – but a surface declutter that will get you real results in your house so you can clean up less.

How to declutter toxic relationships in your life and set some good boundaries. How to simplify cleaning, get healthy and feel better – finally!

How to simplify your calendar. How to start owning your time and not just managing it as life happens to you.

How to stop just setting goals and letting them sit there. Start actually defining where you want to go and getting there through reverse engineering and goal-setting.

How to create a cleaning routine that works for you and your life.

This course is a mini-course. It is small. It is straightforward. But it is everything for the mom who feels like she needs a total overhaul, but is too overwhelmed to start.

It will help you simplify the things that have you stuck and leave survival mode behind for good.

Is this resonating with you? Sound like you? Does this sound like something that would really help you right now? Go to bit.ly/getunburdened.

I really poured my heart into this little course. I created it for the mom who is really wanting to simplify, declutter, and pursue a life of less, but she is so burdened and overwhelmed with the mess of life. It’s not just her house. She wants to simplify at the surface of all the different things in her life so she can focus on her family more. So then she can focus more on really, truly purging her entire house.

If this sounds like you, I encourage you to check it out. You are probably the person I created it for. I want you in there. I want it to help you.

Check it out.  bit.ly/getunburdened.

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Number eight. I freaked out so bad the first time someone recognized me in public. So, you can kind of tell that these are getting different as my blogging journey progressed. I remember at this point I had figured out how to have my own URL and it was thepurposefulhousewife.com. My blog was there and I was blogging really regularly but it was still nothing. Hardly anybody was watching my stuff, reading my stuff. I remember I went to Kaiser, through our insurance, and I was waiting to take one of our kids to the doctor and this woman came up to me as the nurse was calling me back and she was like, “I just have to tell you I love your blog.”

I literally stood there like an idiot and just stared straight ahead. I didn't know what to say. I was shocked. I was embarrassed. I was taken aback and I just didn't even know. I just stood there and I think I muttered something like “thanks,” like super blunt. It was really awkward. Then I went into the doctor's office. Later, that same woman sent me a message and she was like, “I am the one who said “hi” to you at the doctor. I hope I didn't freak you out. I hope I wasn't rude; you seemed really taken aback. I'm really sorry and I just love your stuff so much.”

We actually ended up forming a friendship and we joke about it all the time. So, Jeanette, if you're listening - that was really awkward and I've never been that awkward in my entire life. It just shocked me and I freaked out. I went home and was hyperventilating to Brian. “Somebody recognized me. I didn't know this was going to happen. Oh my gosh.”

And you know what's even funnier? I still struggle with it, the public-eye thing. It freaks me out. When you start a blog, you're not thinking that that's going to happen. You're just blogging. But then if it evolves and becomes something - that happens. (Side note, I probably wouldn't have done this if I would've known that was going to happen because I'm so introverted.)

I'm better now. I'm used to it. It happens every week and I'm nice. I love meeting you guys and I'll hug you, take a picture with you and it's super fun. But oh my gosh, I freaked out so bad. It sent me careening into an introvert freak-out. So that was another fun fact.

The next one is one time I made $30 from having Google Adspend on my blog, which is like super old and ghetto. I was really excited. I took my money and I went to Barnes and Noble to buy a book about switching to Wordpress and not using Blogspot anymore because that was kind of like “more legit” than Blogspot. And I wanted to be more legit, really bad. So, I went and got that book.

I studied that book. It was thicker than my dining room table. It was everything about Wordpress. I studied that book like I was studying for the Bar Exam. I, like, cram-session studied that book. I learned everything about Wordpress. Then I made the switch to Wordpress and I hated it more than anything. It lasted less than a month. It was a huge waste of time. That's just one of those things that happened as a blogger.

Next fun fact. I actually taught myself everything. I even taught myself how to code, which people go to school for years for that and get paid upwards of $200,000 a year to know how to do that. And I know how to do that. I taught myself how to do that because this was the days before Squarespace. Squarespace will code for you. So, I actually use Squarespace now and if you want to start a blog go with Squarespace. It's the best.

But yeah, I taught myself how to do everything. I know everything about Pinterest. Growing your blog through Pinterest. I know everything about coding a website. I know how to edit photos and do photography for a blog. I know how to grow on any social media platform. I learned everything because I was dedicated to growing and I couldn't afford to pay anybody.

Next fun fact. I freaked out. I was so happy. I celebrated with a cake at my house with my husband and my kids when I hit 500 followers because I thought I had “made it.” I was so excited and so proud. It was a huge goal for me. (Side note, later I went to a blog event and I realized that these other bloggers had tens of thousands of followers and I was so embarrassed that I had celebrated that. Like I just wanted to die. It was really embarrassing.)

Okay. Number 12. After that blogging event that I just mentioned, I came across an article that had featured some of the bloggers who were there and I learned that they had brought their husbands home from their jobs with the money that they made from their blogs. But it was because they put ads on their websites, they had sponsored posts, affiliate links and all that, and I really didn't want to do that.

So, I decided then and there that day, that I was not going to stay at 500 followers. I was going to celebrate tens of thousands one day and I, too, was going to figure out a way to bring my husband home from my blog, but I was going to find a way to do it without selling out with ads and sponsorships because I felt and I still feel, (that's why I don't have paid sponsors for the podcast) that it dims the quality of my work, my website, and my content.

Back then this was impossible. It didn't exist. If you wanted to make money blogging, you had to have ads and banners on your site. You had to do affiliate links and make little tiny bits of money in huge ways and that didn't exist. There was no other way. But I was determined and I made a goal to find a way. Later my courses were born.

My site now brings in seven figures. Brian and I run the company from home together. Dreams can happen, so keep going.

Number 13. The last fun thing that I'm going to share with you about the early days of my blog journey is the first person that I ever hired was Kena. She is my assistant. I was curled up on the floor in my room after going viral.

I had over 2000 emails in my inbox and some of them were really mean and abrasive and I had never dealt with that before. I was so freaked out. I was introverting hard. I didn't know what to do or how to get to all of them.

My Instagram was blowing up. I was so freaked out and overwhelmed.

I posted in a Facebook group for entrepreneurs. I was basically rocking back and forth in the fetal position and just posted like, “Oh my gosh, help!” And Kena was one of the many people who reached out to me.

Something just jumped out at me about her. I called her and I hired her on the spot. She got through all my emails in like two days. She promised me she would never not let an email go more than 48 hours (two business days) without answering it. And more than two years later, she still handles all my emails for me.

She's the best customer service representative of all time. She responds to the rudest people so kindly. She is one of my biggest supporters. She’s seen me through TV appearances, virality, public humiliations, introvert freak-outs, major business triumphs, goal failing and goal reaching of all kinds. She was my first hire and I just adore her.

So, if you’re ever sending me and email, say “hi” to Kena for me.

And that is 13 things you probably didn't know about the early days of my blog. It's so funny to see how things can turn out from starting a family newsletter in 2011. I hope that this was fun for you guys to hear.


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This was an episode of The Purpose Show. Did you know there is an exclusive community created solely for the purpose of continuing discussions surrounding The Purpose Show episodes? And to get you to actually take action and make positive changes on the things that you learn here? Go be a part of it. To join go to facebook.com/groups/purposefulmamas.

Thank you so much for tuning in. If you are ready to uplevel and really take action on the things I talk about on my show, and get step-by-step help from me, head to alliecasazza.com. There are free downloads, courses, classes, and ways to learn more about what the next step might look like for you and to focus on whatever you might need help with in whatever season you are in right now.  

I am always rooting for you, friend!

See ya next time!

Hey mama! Just a quick note, this post may contain affiliate links.