It is SO easy to overcomplicate things. We spend so much time looking for the perfect answer instead of looking for the best answer for right now. We prolong jumping to action and learning as we go. And let’s be honest, most of the time we are afraid to say “yes.” One thing I have learned in my own life is that the best adventures and most beneficial things come from saying “yes” way before I was ready and way before it was perfect. Sometimes you have to just go for it and stop overcomplicating things!
In This Episode Allie Discusses:
How starting right where you are, with what you already have and know is the best first step.
Ways you can use the resources you have to take action and see change happen.
The power of believing in yourself and knowing that you already know what to do. Just do it!
Mentioned in this Episode:
The holiday season is almost here! Oh my gosh, it can feel super overwhelming but it doesn't have to be that way this year. What if this year the holiday season was just as fun, just as magical and just as exciting for you as a parent, as you’re trying to make it for your kids? My course, Merry Little Christmas, will do that for you! It is just $15 and I know that it will help guide you through a simple, yet fun holiday season!
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Mom life. We are surrounded with the message that it’s the tired life. The no-time-for-myself life. The hard life. And while it is hard and full of lots of servitude, the idea that motherhood means a joyless life is something I am passionate about putting a stop to. I’m on a mission to help you stop counting down the minutes till bedtime, at least most days. I want you to stop cleaning up after your kid’s childhood and start being present for it. Start enjoying it. I believe in John 10:10 “that we are called to abundant life” and I know mothers are not excluded from that promise. Join me in conversations about simplicity, minimalism and lots of other good stuff that leads to a life of less for the sake of enjoying more in your motherhood. I’m Allie Casazza and this is The Purpose Show.
Hey, beautiful friends! I'm so excited to be sitting down and chatting with you today. This episode is going to be pep-talk style. It's going to be pointed. It’s probably going to be short. I just want to kind of give you a kick in the pants. It’s my favorite thing to do and it kind of just comes naturally to me because I do it for my own self and for my friends and I just want to address some things.
In what I do, I spend a lot of time talking to other moms and hearing from other moms publicly. So, doing live streams, taking questions for Q & A episodes for the podcast, things like that. And so, so, so often I see the moms I work with overcomplicating things.
They're looking for the right answer, the perfect answer, instead of looking for the best answer for them right now, or just taking action and learning as they go. It's like they're afraid to say “yes” and they're procrastinating action.
One thing that I've found and I think the reason that I'm drawn to noticing these things in other people is that the best adventures and the most beneficial things in my life have come from me saying “yes” way before I was ready, way before it was perfect and just kind of going for it.
I'm going to give you a quick example from right now in my life and that would be with our adoption. I haven't shared publicly a lot of details just because it's messy and we're just kind of figuring things out, filling out paperwork, getting physicals and TB tests, and all these behind the scene things that you have to do. But with our adoption, we've changed types three times now. Actually no, that's a lie - twice. We've changed adoption types twice and it's messy. But the thing is is that we always knew we would adopt and as soon as we felt like, “I think it’s time. I've been thinking about it a lot lately,” and Brian’s like, “Yeah, me too,” and we decided, “Okay, it's time.” We didn’t wait.
We didn't overcomplicate it. We didn't blame it on prayer and super extend the time before we started. We just knew it was right. We knew it was meant for us. We had already prayed about that. We knew it was time. We knew it was what we wanted to do, but we didn't really know how. Foster? Domestic? International? There's a lot of decisions to make.
So, we just started. We knew it was time and we were in the right arena, although maybe we would land in the wrong seat. That's okay. We're just going to start.
I shared this on Instagram recently and I said something like that. “Sometimes in life you land in the right arena but just in the wrong seat and you need to move over and that's okay.”
Start with where you're at, what you already have, what you already know and just dive in. Trust that as you walk forward, as you pray, as you seek what's right for you, as you seek what God has for you, the right doors and windows are gonna open and shut.
For example, let's say you want to lose weight. Don't overcomplicate the process by buying a bunch of books on certain diets and researching like you don't have a clue. Just decide, “I'm unhappy. I don't feel good. I want to wear this type of outfit and feel great. I'm done with this.” Download the Nike run up and go for a jog. Stop drinking soda. Make a decision and just go. Do what you know and just start.
Today is a day that counts toward progress and if you let it go by, it's just one more day that you didn't start. It's just one more day that you were doing the thing you've always done and not doing the new thing. Stop letting yourself gather resources, procrastinate, wait and put it off. Use the resources that have already been put in front of you.
For example, a woman messaged me the other day telling me that she has always been overwhelmed by her home and she has always been unhappy. She's always been stressed when she walked through the door, and that she found me and learned from me that clutter was the cause of a lot of her stress and resentment in her life and toward her family. She had seen stuff about the Your Uncluttered Home course that I offer. She knew what it was about, but she delayed enrolling and just kind of was like, “Eh, maybe later.” Finally, one day she just did it.
She enrolled after she came to her email again and it was there. After going through just the very beginning of it, her life completely changed. She applied it and immediately everything was lighter and she hadn't even finished the rest of the course.
This is what I'm talking about. Just friggin’ start. Use the resources that have already been put in front of you, the things that you already know, and just walk forward. What you need will be provided for you as you go. It's okay to change your mind. Don't worry about what other people are thinking. Don't worry about how stupid they think you are. Don't worry about if this is the perfect time, the perfect place, the perfect path, or the perfect way you can go about this. Just start.
Hey friend, can you even believe it? The holiday season is almost here. It's coming! It's crazy that it's already here!
Oh my gosh, this season can so easily feel super overwhelming, not very fun, really stressful, and it just doesn't have to be that way this year. What if, imagine with me for a second, this year the holiday season was just as fun, just as magical and just as exciting for you as a parent, as you’re trying to make it for your kids?
I've put together a little mini course called A Merry Little Christmas and it does just this for you. I created this last year and it's been enrolled in by thousands of moms all over the world and they are loving it. It's coming back this year and here's what it does for you.
It basically will simplify everything about Christmas and the holiday season for you as a mom. You get an aerial view over what you want your Christmas season to look like.
We talk about what your intent is, what's important to you, what your focus will be. We talk about decorating your house with a simplicity mindset and prepping your house for the holidays.
What if your husband wants to go super overboard and doesn't want to simplify the holidays? How do you handle that? How do you transition your kids to a simpler Christmas when they're used to you just going all out? How to make new traditions. How to handle buying your kids presents in the minimalist way? What about relatives and all of their gift giving? How do you handle after Christmas? And a bonus for me is all about decluttering the toys for purposeful play.
This is a really awesome little course. It really packs a punch and it's only $15. So, head to alliecasazza.com/jolly and you can enroll for just $15 and get your holidays started off on the right foot.
What do you need to do to get started? If you need to get some skin in the game, like paying money for a helpful resource, just do it. If you need to get some guidance in taking on something that you want to change, go get that. But don't delay it, overcomplicate it, and find excuses to leave things how they are if you're unhappy. Usually you already know what to do, most of the time.
For example, I see this a lot in live streams and you'll see it too if you ever come to my live streams. A lot of women so often will answer their own questions. Of course, there's no judgment there. It's a common thing. It happens all the time. We all do it from time to time, but this is one place where you can see it happen really clearly.
When I do a general Q & A live stream, a lot of the time the woman will come on and they'll answer their own questions. For example, they'll say something like, “I really want to get into a routine, but I just haven't made time for it.” Well, you just answered your own question. If your question is, “how do I get into a routine,” you just said you're not making time for it. You're not making time for what matters because it doesn't actually matter to you. You need to get your mind right. You need to understand what this is going to do for you.
Also, a lot of the time we use our excuses as badges of honor, so much so that we don't actually want to rid ourselves of them. Because if we rid ourselves of our excuses, our difficulties, and the things that are holding us back, we have no excuse to stay stagnant. We have no excuse to stay where we're at.
I'm just going back to losing weight because it's always on the top of my mind as an example because it's something that a lot of people struggle with. I've gotten some comments like, “You always use dieting as an example, like stop doing that,” and it's like, “Well, if you don't like it, then I don't know what to tell you because it's just something that we all struggle with as women and it's always on the top of my mind so I'm using it as an example.”
So, let's say that you want to get healthy and you're just feeling really yucky, you don't feel good, you just know that you're unhealthy and you want to make changes. A lot of the time I'll see women say that they want that, but they come up with a bunch of excuses to not make that change because what would happen if they were no longer overweight?
What would happen if they were no longer the one who struggled with this? Who will they be? What will this do to their identity? What will it do to their marriage? What will it do in their friendships? Who will they be as a person? What will they do? How will they cope if they can no longer binge eat?
I've shared openly my struggle with overeating, emotional binge eating and all of that stuff, so I'm speaking from experience. It can rattle you to your core. You can think, “I'm unhappy. I don't feel good. I want to make this change in my life” (whether it's clutter, weight, marriage stuff, parenting stuff, personality stuff, whatever it is) but a lot of the time you keep getting stuck in the old same habits because you don't actually want to part with that part of you and you don't really know who you'll be if that’s not a part of you anymore.
We really have to dig deep and understand, “Why am I this way? What's going on with me?”
I'm going to leave you, after this quick little pep talk, with an action step. I want to know what is it that you've been putting off, for whatever reason, that you really need or really think that you want to do in your life? Name that thing, and just write out any thoughts that come up. Is there any reason that you maybe actually don't want to do that? Or have been putting it off? Is it a little deep, like actually not knowing who you'll be if you're not this person that struggles with this thing? Is it something that you joke about a lot, that you're using as an excuse?
Jot down all those thoughts that are coming up for you. Spend a few minutes on this thing. What is it that you've been putting off? What is it that you really need or want to do in your life? Get it all out.
Then I want you to go and start it. Even if it's imperfect. Even if it's not exactly how you thought it could be or the best it could ever be, just start it.
So, like Brian and I starting our adoption even though we weren't really sure which route we wanted to take and we've switched a couple times, and to finding exactly where we were supposed to land.
Even if it's getting healthy and you don't really know much about the Ketogenic diet, the Paleo diet or Whole 30, but you just know that you're unhappy. Just cut out soda. Start taking walks.
Just start with what you know.
If it's clutter and you know that you're unhappy, but you just don't really know what's wrong with your house, you don't really know where to start and you feel like you're excusing yourself away from making changes, go and listen to the last episode that I posted about me writing your ‘why’ for you in terms of decluttering, and get your butt in gear.
Let go of things. Clear out your junk drawer. Attack that closet if it's bugging you. Simplify your wardrobe. Let go of some of the excess dishes you keep washing for no reason.
Just go and start. Even if it's imperfect. Just start right where you're at.
This was an episode of The Purpose Show. Did you know there is an exclusive community created solely for the purpose of continuing discussions surrounding The Purpose Show episodes? And to get you to actually take action and make positive changes on the things that you learn here? Go be a part of it. To join go to facebook.com/groups/purposefulmamas.
Thank you so much for tuning in. If you are ready to uplevel and really take action on the things I talk about on my show, and get step-by-step help from me, head to alliecasazza.com. There are free downloads, courses, classes, and ways to learn more about what the next step might look like for you and to focus on whatever you might need help with in whatever season you are in right now.
I am always rooting for you, friend!
See ya next time!