Moms: we’re always taking care of everybody else, famously forgetting (or not caring enough) to take care of ourselves.
Let’s face it... our self-care is typically bare minimum. It kind of has to be in certain seasons. It’s kinda hard to think about how flattering your jeans are or how fresh your makeup is when you’re elbow-deep in boogers and poop and haven’t slept properly in eight months.
Sometimes though, we forget to come out of those seasons when they’re over. We stay in super-mom-mode (official title) when we are getting better sleep, our babies have grown a bit, and we could be feeling a whole lot better about ourselves if we put in the effort.
It makes me so sad when I hear a friend say things like, “Oh I wish I could pull off a bright lipstick” or “I hate shopping for myself - it’s depressing!”
You CAN pull off that bright lip color because you’re bold, beautiful and amazing!
There is NOTHING depressing about dressing that beautiful body of yours, mama! Rock it! No matter what shape stage it’s in.
I face this scenario on a weekly basis…
Other Mama: How can I implement minimalism in my wardrobe?
Me: Let go of everything that isn’t working for you, making you feel amazing, or is damaged.
Other Mama: Then I’ll have nothing left!
NOT OKAY, FRIEND! Let's change that.
You deserve to love everything you own. You deserve to feel incredible every day - whether you’re running errands, going out on a date, or staying home folding laundry. Casual wear or fancy going-to-a-wedding wear, you deserve to feel really really GOOD. Got it?
You should not be dressing yourself every day in clothes that make you feel anything less than glowing, adorable, fantastic, vibrant. I may sound dramatic but I’m serious. Love everything you own. Feel great in everything you wear. Because you deserve it! It’s that simple.
If you declutter your closet and you end up with next to nothing, that’s okay.
I’ve had four kids, one of whom was eleven pounds (that’s not a typo) and I can say that my body is far from magazine-standards-perfect, but it is perfect for my purpose and what it needed to do, and I take pretty good care of it, so I dress it well.
I dress my body in a way that makes me happy, excited to get dressed, and confident. I can honestly say that I love everything I own, I wear every item on a very regular basis, and I get weirdly excited in the morning to get dressed.
I love my gym clothes, my sweatpants, my tee shirts, my nice work clothes - all of it. I feel comfortable and flattered in every single thing. I want every mom reading this to feel the same way. Because, again, you deserve it.
Now, there’s a big difference in not feeling good in your clothes because you need to prioritize your joy more, and in not feeling good in ANYTHING because you’re not taking care of your body. An unhealthy body means unhappy eyes and a different lack of priority.
If you need to get healthy and you’re overwhelmed, read this and anything else you can find on the internet to help motivate you to make the positive changes needed to expand your health, your happiness, and your confidence!
So, moving onto the decluttering part. How do you simplify your wardrobe? What does decluttering look like when it comes to your clothes? First, you need to ask yourself a few key questions.
1) When was the last time I wore this?
2) Do I feel amazing in this?
3) Is this damaged at all?
Let’s do a question-by-question breakdown to help you get a tighter grip on what this should look like when you tackle your closet. Because I know you’re gonna take action on this post riiiiight?? ;)
Wanna see exactly what makes up my wardrobe?
Question #1: When was the last time I wore this?
By asking when you last wore each piece of clothing, what you’re doing is gaining a realistic perspective. You’re not asking yourself if you wear it or if you will wear it, because it’s easy to lie to yourself and step pretty far outside the zone of reality with questions like that. By asking yourself when the last time was that you wore something, you’re forcing yourself to come up with a number of days or weeks - a definitive, straightforward answer.
If you cannot remember the last time you wore something, why is that? Is it because you’re a stay-at-home mom and this particular outfit is really just a go-to for fancy nights? That’s okay then, if you really love that piece and look forward to wearing it on fancy nights.
For example: I work at home, so my go-to outfit is sweats and a tee, but sometimes I speak at women's events or at an online conference, and I need to dress up. I have a few outfits that I save for those occasions, but rarely wear. However, when the time comes that I do need to wear them, I look forward to it because I love them!
If you can’t remember the last time you wore something and it could possibly be because you don’t really love that thing, let it go. You deserve much better.
Question #2: Do I feel amazing in this?
If you don’t feel absolutely amazing in something, what’s the point of owning it? Who cares if you spent money on it… you shouldn’t have done that in the first place if it wasn’t amazing-status. Don’t keep things out of obligation - value yourself! Count it as a tough lesson in how you spend money and what you spend it on. Donate that ish. Get something that makes you smile when you put it on.
Question #3: Is this damaged at all?
Don’t hold onto something that has an unremovable stain on it just because you super love it and you’re sooooo bummed that it got ruined. It’s okay. It happens. Move on. You’re much too amazing to sport a stained sweatuh, girl!
If something is damaged and repairable (ripped, missing a button, etc), you need to get real. Are you going to have it fixed? Fix it yourself? What’s the plan? If your plan is to repair it, then get your phone out and set an alarm for one week from now. If that alarm goes off in your phone and you haven’t repaired the item or dropped it off at the tailor’s yet, time’s up. Get rid of it.
You have to get firm with yourself, otherwise you’ll keep everything and never make real progress. I know you want an uncluttered life. I know you want to get to the other side. This is how you do that - by making real decisions. By moving forward.
Okay. Let’s chat for a sec about what to do with your clothes after you’ve purged.
The Clothes You’re Keeping
You need to have a system for your clothes. If you have one, great. If you don’t like the one you’ve been using, reconsider! Have you tried hanging everything up? Would that work better in your particular closet? Do you maybe need a better dresser? Have you tried folding things differently? While I’m not a huge advocate of Marie Kondo’s book on decluttering, I have found her folding method to be helpful if you’re willing to put in a couple extra minutes when you’re doing laundry. It’s really helpful if you’re fitting clothes into a small dresser or space. If you have plenty of room skip this method because it just creates even more space and then your clothes move all over the drawer and come undone.
The Clothes You’re Letting Go Of
When we throw away our clothes, we’re contributing to a big waste problem. It’s important to understand that your buying these clothes in the first place was the real cause of your contribution to this, but also that you should only throw away clothes when they are absolutely not donate-able. If an item is ripped beyond repair or totally damaged in some way, you kind of have to throw it away. Otherwise, donate it! I know donating takes a little extra time and effort, but it’s worth it. You’re coming out of a hard lesson - you didn’t need or love everything you bought, so you’re letting go of some of it in order to create an intentional, abundant life. However, you are realizing how wasteful you’ve been by buying things you maybe shouldn’t have. You can make the most out of this by donating what you aren’t keeping. Someone else in a needy position can really benefit from your donation - think of that angle.
A Note on Budget Limits
I want to address those of you with tight budgets who desperately need a fresh wardrobe, but can’t just go out and buy new things. Been. There. Actually, when I first purged my wardrobe, I was super discouraged because I ended up with basically nothing and I knew I couldn’t replace those items any time soon. BUT! I stayed committed because I knew I deserved to love my clothes, and it was better to have little than to have much that didn’t make me feel incredible. We had a very limited budget at this time- I’m talkin’ zero wiggle room. What I did was I found ways to make an extra $20-40 here and there by selling something I was decluttering, or saving money on groceries, or using a sliver of Brian’s overtime pay and I would just buy one thing at Target or Old Navy when they had a sale. Piece by piece, very slowly, I built my wardrobe back up into something I loved.
Money doesn’t have to be flowing for you to love your clothes. You can get creative help pairing outfits you already have via Pinterest, look for killer sales, scrimp and save… it’s totally doable if you change your perspective and keep a positive mindset!