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minimalism

An Open Letter to My Loved Ones About Gift Giving

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Every week, I work with women to simplify their homes and their lives. I love what I do and the freedom it brings to families! 

Over the years, I’ve seen a gap during the holidays. Women are afraid the influx of gifts will re-clutter their homes and they don’t want to lose their newfound spare time and joy, but they also don’t know exactly what to say to their well-meaning relatives about their over-giving. 

I don’t think Christmas, birthdays or other times of giving should be tightly monitored (talk about losing out on joy!), but I understand that some of you have people in your lives who just give way too much, and it’s really overwhelming. It can feel like an impediment on your boundaries, and it can actually be that too.

This blog post was written by me for you to use as your voice if you can’t find the words. Share it to your socials, post it to your Facebook wall, send it in an email… whatever you want. Borrow my words, friend. I got you.

I also included the option to get an editable, more personalized version of this letter you can fill in with your relative’s name and more details about what your kids might like as gifts. You can snag that at the bottom of this post at no cost to you 🙂

If you want me to help you simplify your life, I’m here and I’m ready to lighten your load!

xo Allie

DEAR LOVED ONE, 

I’m writing this to you with a mix of appreciation and apprehension.  Appreciation for you and how much you love my family, apprehension because I don’t want you to view me as ungrateful or unkind, and I have no desire to offend or upset you.

You have gone so above and beyond with my kids – I love that you love so big! It’s beautiful. I look at that and feel so honored that my kids get to have someone like you in their lives. What I want to say has nothing to do with your love… it’s about my own limits. 

Over the past few months, I’ve been on a really important journey that’s involved a lot of learning. It started with the Google search bar – I was looking for some help because I was feeling so overwhelmed at home and in life. 

It felt like all I did was maintain our physical space. I was constantly cleaning up and it was constantly being undone behind me; it was never-ending and sort of depressing! All I want is to run a home I enjoy being in and spend quality time with my family. It felt like I was always choosing between those two things rather than living them out in any sort of balance.

I found some interesting things in my research… did you know that a study done at Princeton found that you could cut down on housework by at least 40% if you just didn’t have clutter in your home? 40%! That’s so much weight removed from a busy mom’s week.

I also found a study done at UCLA, which found a distinct link in women between the amount of clutter in their homes and their cortisol levels. More stuff, higher levels of stress, automatically. 

This study also found that women relate how they feel when they walk into their home to how they feel about their family. That’s intense because of what clutter makes us feel (stress). So to willingly create an environment that makes me feel that way about my family? That didn’t sit well with me. 

I found multiple studies showing the effect of too many toys and options on children – it’s honestly alarming and sad! I want the kids to grow up knowing how to play… really play. I want them to use their imaginations, go outside, thrive! 

As I was reading this research and more like it, it all started to hit me. It made so much sense that I’d been feeling so heavy and burdened in day-to-day life… we had so much excess in our home. It was a lot to maintain – too much! I made a decision to clear physical clutter in hopes of lightening things up a bit.

What happened was so much more than that! It was like we literally created more time in our days, just by removing some excess. We got rid of some dishes, clothing, and toys that were simply not being used, plus the random “stuff” hiding in our closets and drawers, and that was all it took for things to get better. 

I found that I had more energy, more time, more space for things I actually like and use. I noticed an improvement in my marriage and the way I spoke to my family (must be the decrease in stress!). I also felt like I looked forward to my days a little more. This process was doing so much good for us!

Here we are now, at this time of giving gifts, and I know you want to give so big and love on the kids and I so much. Can I be honest and just say that I’m anxious about it? I’m hoping I can be transparent because I want that relationship with you. I have no desire to offend you or take any joy from you!

It’s just that, I feel so much lighter these days, and I’ve seen how “stuff” takes a toll on our home, our kids, on mental health and happiness. I know you love our family and your giving comes from a place of expressing that love, so I want to be honest about where I’m at and ask if we can find another way to do this moving forward. I would love for you to feel like you get to love the socks off all of us, and for me to not feel anxiety about this happy time of year. I’d love your help in raising the kids to know how to play, how to create, how to imagine and be present in the sweetness of childhood.

I’m really excited about the possibilities with this new way of giving and celebrating… I feel like experiences and really amazing gifts can come from this.

There are experiences the kids would love a membership to, there are a few toys they really want and would actually play with I can tell you about, there are interests and hobbies they’re interested in that you could buy supplies for… there are so many gifts that would be not only worth your financial while, but great for our family and aligned with my vision in raising the kids.

I love you, and I want us to both enjoy this time of year. I am happy to hear your thoughts as well, and to help you purchase things that will be good for the kids and actually get loved and played with. I want us to be on the same team! Thank you for hearing me out and for being the kind of person I’m glad to have in my family. 

If you want to customize this letter to fit your family, I’ll send you a more personalized, editable version so you can make it your own.

SEND IT TO ME!

6 Steps to Overcome Your Paper Clutter

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I hear from a lot of women that their biggest clutter crutch is **drumroll** paper! Are you raising your hand saying, “Yep. That’s me. I’m one of those women” ? 

Trust me, girl. I get it. Decluttering paper can seem like such an unattainable goal because it’s not like normal clutter. 

With normal clutter you can just train yourself to not buy the useless crap. But paper is always coming in. And it feels like it multiplies by a billion when you have kids. 

The thing is that you’re always going to have more paper and get more paper. And that can feel suuuper discouraging when you’re doing all you can to work towards a minimalist lifestyle. 

There are so many “solutions” online and organizational systems that promise pain-free, eternal freedom from paper clutter. But they’re not real solutions. 

They’re band-aids. These tips and systems are not for real people dealing with real life. 

And that’s my whole mission—to make minimalism and simplified living something that real-life women can work toward and attain. I like to take whatever is not working for everybody and figure it out for all of us, and then share it. 

And that’s essentially what I’m doing today because I have figured out that paper clutter crutch for you, girlfriend! I have created a system—tried and tested by myself—that is going to get your never-ending-arrival of paper under control. 

Do I hear the Hallelujah chorus? I thought so! 

This system is for everything. It’s for mail, it’s for school flyers, it’s for announcements, to-do lists, random post-it notes, any kind of paper. 

It’s not a magic pill. It’s not pain free. You’re going to have to work at this and keep working at it or your paper is going to come back. 

But this system has eliminated my paper clutter and I know it can eliminate yours too. Follow these six steps to overcome your paper problem. 

Create an Inbox

Mine is a white, metal magazine holder from Target. Yours can look however you want. It doesn’t matter. 

It can be a basket or a box. Pretty or simple. 

It just needs to be able to hold a week’s worth of incoming paper. This inbox is going to be the “landing zone” for any paperwork that comes into your home. 

Whether it’s mail, bills, school flyers, wedding invitations, baby shower announcements or even the post-it note with that amazing idea you crammed into your purse when you were at Target. You’re going to put any paper into this inbox so that you can process it later. 

Buy a Folder

You can use a plain manila folder or buy a fun one. Whatever you want. You do you. Mine says, “Follow Up” on it because that’s exactly what it’s for. 

This folder is going to live inside your inbox. It’s going to be where you put any mail that you can’t take immediate action on. 

Sidenote: You could also go digital here if you’d prefer that. Just create a folder in your phone and take a photo of any mail or paper that you need to follow up on and put it in that folder.

The main thing is that you have one place where you can put anything that you need to come back to at a later date.

Pick a Day to Process Your Inbox

Don’t overthink this. Just pick a day. 

What day of the week is going to work best for you to sit down and spend time sorting your mail? That is going to be your paper processing day. 

This day is nonnegotiable. Of course, you can change the actual day if you find that it doesn’t work for your schedule like you thought it would. 

But you must always have a day for processing. Don’t skip a week. That’s how the paper piles up. 

Because if it’s negotiable then, when life happens (which it will), you’re not going to take action. You’re just going to have this pretty inbox sitting there but it’s going to be totally pointless. 

So, always have a processing day. Put it in your calendar. Set alerts to remind yourself if you need to. Do whatever you have to do to make this day happen. 

Make It Fun

Brew yourself a fresh cup of coffee or tea. Or pour yourself a glass of your favorite wine. 

Play some music or put a podcast on. Make this a treat. It shouldn’t be a burden. It shouldn’t be a big ordeal. 

It should be something you look forward to because you have a system. You have a plan.

You are being an action-taking, problem-solving woman. You’re the CEO of your home and this is the day where you organize, systemize, and handle the things that would stress you out otherwise. 

Process Piece by Piece

On processing day, sort through each piece of paper and ask yourself, “What is this? What’s the point of it? What do I need to know? What action needs to be taken, if any?”  

Sometimes the action is straightforward and you can do it right away, like adding an event to your calendar or paying a bill online. Other times it takes a little more time. 

Maybe it warrants a response from you and you need time to think about your decision or have a conversation with your husband. Maybe you need to call and talk to the company that sent you the piece of mail, but it’s Saturday and you can’t. 

That’s fine. That’s what you have your “Follow Up” folder for.  

Just stick that piece of paper in there so you can come back to it later when you can handle it. But add a task to your to-do list or set a reminder on your phone or calendar so you remember that it’s in the folder and you need to take care of it. 

Your goal is to put as little amount of papers in the “Follow Up” folder as possible. Any time you can take immediate action, do that.

If you need to pay a bill, pay it. If you need to RSVP to something, do it. Don’t wait if you don’t need to. 

Then throw the paper away. We want our processing days to mostly look like a checklist of:  “Process, finish, trash.” 

Quit the Excuses

You need to understand that you’re going to stay overwhelmed and overrun by paper if you don’t get a system in place. And that’s not what we want because it’s not necessary. 

I hear so many excuses: 

“Oh, there’s just no day of the week for me to do this.”
“Well, I’m not good at things like that.”
 “This won’t work for me because of [insert any reason].”

Listen to me, friend. Anything can work for you if you make it work. If you decide that you don’t want to be a mess, that you want to handle things, that you want to get your crap under control, it will work. 

Having a system like this takes the problem out of it. This is the answer. I’m literally giving you the answer. 

Now it’s up to you. It’s time to channel your inner Olivia Pope, and handle your business. 

Did you know my signature program, Your Uncluttered Home, has an entire section on paper clutter? Tens of thousands of women have completed the course and decluttered their entire homes.

Ditch the clutter, decrease stress, and spend your time on what matters most to you.

LEARN MORE

5 Types of Hard-To-Kick Clutter & How To Handle Them

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Decluttering is my main jam. I love helping women do this in their homes because it matters so much more than people even realize.

For women, specifically, there are a lot of negative effects of having clutter. One study even linked having a cluttered home to feeling unhappy in your family in general.

That’s powerful. That tells me that all of our stuff is bothering us and it’s affecting us in a big way.

That’s why I’m so passionate about helping women go through their homes and remove the excess. I want you left with only the things that are serving you and your families and contributing to a joyful and full life.

Having said that, I know that there are things that are hard to declutter. I get it. I’ve been there and I want to help you make good decisions so that you can keep making progress.

So, let’s look at five areas that can really trip you up when it comes to decluttering and how to push through them.

#1 Sentimental items

Typically, when people realize the role that clutter plays in their lives, they’re ready to make a change. So they get going and they’re doing great but then they find the bin of sentimental keepsakes and they just feel stumped.

How can you let go of the sweet, little dress that your daughter wore when she was dedicated at church? Or the photo of the positive pregnancy test from the baby that you miscarried? How do you get rid of the things that really tug on your heartstrings

What classifies as clutter versus something that is sentimental and truly a keepsake? How do you make the decision?

If you’ve been around here for more than ten minutes you know that I’m not about rules. I’m definitely not going to give you anything like that because this is different for every person.

If you get stuck on something sentimental, I encourage you to skip that area and move on. Go work on your bathroom or a bookshelf in the living room.

Declutter something else for now. Come back when you’ve been at this for a bit longer and you’ve seen the positive effects of letting go of clutter.

What happens is, as you evolve in this area in your life with getting rid of things, you grow. You evolve. You change.

You see that this really makes a difference. Keeping only what is serving you well makes you happy. That makes letting go of things less and less difficult as you go.

And once you declutter one or two sentimental things, it will get even easier because you have seen that you’ve let go of something that was special to you and nothing bad happened.

Please remember that letting go of physical possessions doesn’t mean that you are letting go of memories. On the other hand, it is OK to keep some things too. I think the line is when you have a bunch of bins full of “memories” that you are storing away because you are avoiding making decisions.

I CREATED A FREE WORKSHEET FOR YOU ON MINIMALISM AND SENTIMENTAL ITEMS THAT WILL GIVE YOU MORE IN-DEPTH TIPS FOR LETTING GO OF KEEPSAKES.

Send me the guide

#2 Your kids toys

First of all, don’t declutter your kids’ toys without them unless they are super young, like under age 3. If they are older than that, have them join you, even if it makes it more difficult and the process a lot slower.

Kids can really feel violated and mistrust you if you throw away their stuff without them knowing. That’s not what we want.

Start by having your kids pick out ten things they don’t play with anymore. Explain that there are so many children that don’t have toys and they would love it if they shared with them. Then, bag up the donations together and go to the donation center with your kids.

Make it a really happy, exciting thing so they don’t feel like they’re getting punished. This can teach them empathy and give them solid reasoning behind letting go of their stuff.

If your kids are having a hard time letting go of things, give them time. Go through the rest of your house and show them by example what letting go and minimalism looks like and let them follow in their own time.

#3 Your wardrobe

Letting go of your clothes is really hard when you’re a mom. You have bought clothes throughout different seasons of motherhood and body shapes. You can really easily – and understandably – not want to get rid of something that you might end up needing later.

But don’t get stuck in that fear. Go into your closet and look and get honest with yourself. What looks fantastic on you right now? Keep it. Everything else should probably go in the donation pile.

Having a bunch of stuff that doesn’t fit, used to fit, or that you want to fit you someday is not serving you at all. It is actually, subconsciously, making you really unhappy every time you get dressed.

Only keep in your closet what looks fantastic and what makes you feel great right now. Because that’s what you deserve.

A quick note on maternity clothes. If you are planning to get pregnant again, hold onto them. We are not looking to throw things out and waste money deliberately if you know you will use it again.

#4 Your husband’s stuff

Probably the top question I get is “how do I get my husband on board with this?” My answer is this: you don’t. He is his own separate person. Leave him alone.

If you start purging his stuff while he is at work he is going to resent you for it and hate minimalism forever. Leave his stuff alone if he hasn’t given you permission to declutter for him.

Find that sweet spot for yourself and let your husband be. In the end, he may come around like mine did.

The same rule applies with your in-laws, your parents, your friends and the people who come to your kids’ birthday parties.

#5 Paperwork

Go through your house with an empty box and collect all the stray paperwork that you can find. Then set aside some time to go through it.

You can pour yourself a cup of coffee or a glass of wine, turn on Netflix, whatever. But sit and sort through it all.

Make decisions about every piece of paper you pick up. Don’t allow yourself to start a “not sure” pile or an “I’ll deal with this later” pile.

If it’s something that your husband needs to look at and he’s not there, you can put it aside for him. But I would encourage you to set aside time to sort through paperwork when he is with you so you don’t find a reason or an excuse to put it aside for later.

It’s OK to make piles but don’t make a bunch of random piles that could have been eliminated if you had just made decisions.

I know these areas can be hard to tackle. I know it can feel overwhelming but I hope I have helped to simplify the overwhelm.

The truth is that if you don’t take power over your stuff, you are giving your stuff power over you.

CLEAR THE CLUTTER STARTER KIT

WITH THIS FREE STARTER KIT IN-HAND, YOU WILL:

Form a solid why that will push you forward in clearing the clutter & making it happen despite hurdles, with minimal setbacks.

Declutter your two biggest time-sucks: laundry & dishes. You’ll see an immediate change and gain some legit momentum!

Get equipped to make progress without needing spare time.

DOWNLOAD IT NOW

4 Reasons Why – No Matter What’s Going On – You Need to Declutter Your Home Now

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When it comes to decluttering, so many people get stuck on the hurdles that come up in the process that they procrastinate and never actually take action to kick the clutter.

These hurdles can be tiny or big – it doesn’t matter – the point is, they let a problem get in their way and either stop them in the middle of their progress or keep them from ever diving in and starting.

And I get it. When I tackled all the clutter in my house years ago, it was the worst time for me.

I had three kids under age three. I was seriously struggling with depression and all I wanted to do was go to bed and turn on Netflix.

I had no money, an overwhelming house, my marriage was a mess and Brian was not on board with minimalism.

I had every reason not to do this. I had every single excuse and everything stacked against me. And yet, I did it.

I don’t talk about this stuff for nothing. This isn’t just something that I randomly do or that I just like talking about or that I’m just good at. This stuff really matters.

When I realized that my stuff didn’t have to own me. That I could put it in its place and simplify. That I could focus on what actually matters and live my life instead of cleaning up after it all the time, everything changed for me.

And it breaks my heart when I see people not understanding that. I get that life is really busy, really full and there’s a lot of different things pulling at your focus and attention.

But the reward is so great! And I want that for you. I want your freedom for you.

And so I decided to write your ‘why’ for you. I’m literally writing 4 reasons why – no matter what’s going on – you need to declutter your home NOW!

  1. Materialism is directly related to depression.

In an article published by Leaf Van Boven at the University of Colorado, it’s stated that investing financial resources in experiences makes people happier than investing in material possessions. Van Boven basically came to find that materialism is directly linked to narcissism and depression. That’s pretty heavy.

Ready to ditch survival mode?

  • Narrow in on your why behind decluttering

  • Throw away twenty things right now

  • Discover how to simplify the two biggest time-suckers: dishes and laundry. 

Download my fan-favorite Clear the Clutter Starter Kit for free!

I need this!

2. Your home is meant to be a haven (and it can be)

There was another study done by Darby Saxby and Rena Rapetti published by Sage Publications called “No Place Like Home.”

Here’s a quote I pulled from it: “The home can be a place to unwind from the work day, but when housework and home repairs compete for the attention of time-strapped, working parents, home can become more of a source of demands than a haven from the outside world.”

Who’s feeling like they want to raise their hands?  Who feels like your home is a giant chore list instead of a shelter from the outside world?

What can we do to make our homes more of a haven for ourselves, our husbands and our children?

The answer: Create less work. That’s why I’m so hard hitting about minimalism. Because how you feel about your home is how you feel about your life in general.

3. Less housework (can I get an amen)?

A study done at Harvard University stated that “eliminating clutter would cut housework by 40%.”

How would your life even look if you had 40% less housework every day? That’s a whole lot less of a burden on you.

Just let that sink in.

4. You’ll be happier

Another study that I talk about all the time was done at UCLA and it found that the more stuff that’s in a woman’s house the higher her level of the stress hormone cortisol. The study found that women subconsciously relate how happy they are with their home life and family to how they feel about their house.

So the more clutter and chaos in the home, the less happy the woman was with her family and her life.


IT’S TIME TO CHANGE YOUR #MOMLIFE

You’re the hero in your story, sweets. You’ve just been bogged down by STUFF + STRESS.

I’m ready to put you on a better path – the path to PEACE! Let’s do this.

Your Uncluttered Home is an online course to help you clear the clutter, reduce your stress, and create more space for what matters.

Learn more

Wow.

There’s your ‘why.’ There’s four reasons you need to get serious about the stuff that’s taking up space in your home.  

If you’re coming up with excuses, I want to give you a pep talk and just tell you to stop overcomplicating this. You know exactly what the problem is and you know exactly what the solution is.

Stop overcomplicating it and just do it.

If you’re having trouble finding the time, decide this is a priority. Treat this like it matters.

Even if it’s just 30 minutes a week. It’s something and something is better than nothing.

10 minutes is better than no minutes.

Start somewhere that’s sucking up a lot of your time and energy. Maybe that’s your kitchen. Start with the dishes.

Simplify. All you need is a dish per person. Let the rest go.

Or start somewhere really easy like the bathroom.  Let that be an easy ‘yes’ and ‘no’ area and build the momentum you need to keep going.

Eventually you will get to the other side where you can say,”Wow, things are lighter.” And you’re going to be in maintenance mode and it’s going to be awesome.

Please let this serve as your big ‘why’ and let it push you forward and just start.

Life is short. And it can be so good and so purposeful. But you’ve gotta decide that it’s worth it.

Clean out the clutter and start living your life. Because you’re happiness is worth the work.  

Everything You Need to Know to Simplify Your Life Right Now

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Hey mama! Did you know that I have a podcast called The Purpose Show?

If you did, I’m giving you all  the high-fives; if you didn’t, I’m still giving you all the high-fives but also a love-push to go check out my podcast!

I just recently recorded the 100th episode, which is still just so surreal to me and I can’t even believe. Like what is my life?

If you’re new to podcasts, they’re kind of like a radio show—it’s all audio. You can download the episodes from iTunes, the Podcast app (if you have an iPhone), and there are other apps that you can listen from also. Or you can check it out on my website, I post them all here!

Each episode covers a different topic—kind of like the audio version of a blog. Most of the episodes actually have what we call “show notes” so they can be read like a blog post if reading’s more your thing 😉

Real quick, let me tell you something NEW and FREE I’ve put together for you! I promise it’s totally worth it.

Hassle to Harmony is a five-day video series and, each day, you’ll get a link in your inbox to one short video.

Starting April 8th, each video will cover a different topic:

  • Day 1: Quiet the Noise

  • Day 2: Daily Rhythms

  • Day 3: Weekly Rhythms

  • Day 4: Time Ownership and Shifting Your Mindset

  • Day 5: How to Live with Intent

At the end of each video, there’s a lesson and an action step that will help you start living a life of intent and vision.

It’s only gonna be around for a few days so get in now!

SEND IT TO ME!

In case you haven’t noticed, The purpose of my podcast—and really of my whole business—is to get you to a point in your motherhood and in your life where you’re living intentionally and abundantly.

And all of that really boils down to simplifying your life and your time. Because (as Annie Dillard says) how we spend our days is how we spend our lives.

I am so passionate about this and I feel my purpose—outside of my family—is to help other women experience the joy that comes from a life of less. I’ve pulled together 5 of the most helpful episodes of the Purpose Show to give you the low-down on everything you need to know to simplify your life RIGHT NOW:

Ep 011 – Taking Care of Yourself

Self care is talked about so much in our culture but I don’t think we—especially moms—are actually taking action on it. I mean, what good is it doing us to talk about taking care of ourselves while never actually putting down our to-do list to give ourselves a little t-l-c?

We are so busy looking out for so many other people that we forget that we matter, too! In this episode, I explain why taking care of yourself matters and ways you can fit self-care into your hella-busy schedule.

Ep 031 – An Uncluttered Life

Living an uncluttered life is about more than your physical possessions. It reaches out to your health, your calendar, your obligations, your relationships.

It’s about letting go of excess, saying no to things that don’t serve your family and your purpose, putting boundaries around your relationships and your schedule so that you can live a more joy-filled life.

Ep 020 – Balance and Simplicity for the Busy Family

In today’s culture being “busy” is seen as either a badge of honor or something that is really negative. Like, if you have too much whitespace in your calendar you’re lazy, but if you don’t, you work too hard, ignore your kids, and don’t enjoy your life.

And honestly, I think both views are pretty incorrect. Life is lived in seasons. Some seasons will be busier than others. That’s just the way it is. The key is finding systems and rhythms that will help you in whatever season you’re in to run your life well so it’s not running you!

Ep 065 – The Beginner’s Guide to a Minimalist Home

There is a connection between minimalism and motherhood. It’s scientifically proven that women with cluttered homes tend to be more depressed and anxious. There have been actual studies done on this connection.

So, minimalism is good for you!

But we have to move beyond simply decluttering to truly experience the joy that comes with minimalism. I know that as moms, we have enough things competing for our time and the last thing you need is a rigid cleaning schedule or a list of tasks to check off every day. That’s not what I’m about at all.

Organization is not a real solution. Less stuff is a real solution. I’m giving you the gift of less so that you can enjoy more in your motherhood!

Ep 025 – How to Deal with Negativity from Other People

Good. Lord. It seems like anytime you try to share anything—especially online—someone will find a way to be offended by it. Or they’ll have something critical to say about it.

Negativity is such a prominent thing in our society and the truth is: it’s never going to stop. Some people are just negative and super irritating and they don’t wanna change.

So, we need to set ourselves free from the weight of the opinions of other people and just live how we are called to live. Because when you stop letting negativity affect you, you’ve won.

You can simplify your life. You can have a joy-filled, intentional, abundant life no matter what season of life you’re in right now. This life isn’t for later. It’s for now. It’s for you, sweet mama!

A few years ago, I was practically drowning. In stuff. In obligations. In unhealthy choices. I was not happy. By making these changes, I went from literally struggling to force myself to get out of bed every morning to living my purpose every single day.

I want this for you! Listen to these episodes, read these shownotes, join my Hassle to Harmony video series, then take ACTION. You, mama, are a FORCE and you can change your life!

3 Ways Living an Uncluttered Life Goes Beyond Just Getting Rid of Your Stuff

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Living an uncluttered life goes beyond your physical possessions. It extends to your health, your calendar, your friendships.

We live in a society that says, “give me more, spend more, do more.” It can be so easy to let stuff accumulate in your home and in your life…. Especially when you’re a mom.

But ALL THE THINGS are adding so much extra burden. And that’s the last thing we need, mamas. We have enough on our plates without being buried under extra.

That’s why I’m so passionate about helping moms live a life of less. When I started my minimalism journey years ago, there were 3 areas (besides our physical possessions)where I noticed my simplification spilling over.

Simplifying these areas was so life-changing for me, I’m sharing them with you! I want you to live a life you love and that serves you and your family.

So here we go! Here’s the 3 ways living an uncluttered life goes beyond getting rid of your stuff.

1. My Calendar.

When I started my minimalism journey several years ago, the first place I noticed also changing was my schedule. Decluttering my home had trained me to look at things and ask if it was serving me and my family.

And as I looked over my schedule each week, I realized I was doing a lot of things I didn’t really want to do just because I felt like I had to. Sound familiar?  

I started asking myself, Why am I taking my kids to this thing every single week when, honestly, I hate it. It’s at a terribly inconvenient time and it totally ruins the day. Every. Single. Week?

Then I’d weigh out the pros and cons. If it was a kids Bible study, I might decide that’s worth the hassle to me. So I would find a way to be flexible in other areas and create a way for Bible study night to not be miserable.

For instance, maybe I put on a crock-pot meal. Or plan ahead a little better to make it work with our schedule because it’s purposeful for us and it’s worth it to me.

Or I might say, You know what? This really isn’t worth it to me.

This isn’t about going in with a machete and hacking away at every single thing that isn’t super fun. We don’t want to be unrealistic. There are some things we don’t love doing that we have to do.

This is about giving yourself space to look, analyze and ask yourself, “Is this how I want to be living my life?” Because how we spend our days is how we spend our lives.

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2. Toxic people.

I love the term “vampire people” because they literally drain the life right out of you.

Often, these are people that we feel “forced” to spend time with. Very often it’s family members.

We don’t want to be jerks. We don’t want to be selfish. But we need boundaries.

You don’t have to stop seeing the vampire people in your life altogether but, you can separate yourself from them. Look at the problems with each relationship and come up with a plan to deal with it.

A few times in my life, my husband and I have had to have extremely hard conversations with people. We’ve had to say things like, “You’re not treating me and my family well. This is abusive and it’s not OK. I don’t want my kids around this. Until you can shape up your game, I’m taking a step back.”

These are really hard, really awkward conversations to have. I’m not saying this lightly.

But for me and my husband Brian, having healthy boundaries – protecting ourselves, each other and our kids – is a big deal to us.

You may not encounter such extreme situations. You may just have somebody in your life that’s just rude or a little manipulative.

Come at your relationships with a minimalistic mindset and ask yourself, “OK, where do I go and feel like I’m in a toxic environment? When is it that I’m seeing these people? Why am I seeing them? Is this something that I have to have in my life?“

How can you create space? How can you respond in love but with firm boundaries so your vampire people no longer affect you?

3. Health.

Health and wellness is such an over-saturated industry in our society. It’s actually a multi-million-dollar-a-year industry because so many people think they need books and programs to get healthy.

But unless you’ve got some kind of illness or ailment that makes it difficult, losing weight and getting healthy is really very simplistic. Eat less junk. Eat more of what is good for you. Move more.

So simple.

If you have a desk job, initiate nightly walks with your family. Do some squats while you are waiting for your lunch to heat up in the break room.

There’s never a good enough excuse. You can always find a way.

I used to be 50 pounds heavier. One day I had to get real and ask myself what I wanted. Did I want to continue feeling awful every time I got dressed for the day?

Did I want to keep running into people I knew but hadn’t seen in a while and feeling embarrassed because I was heavier and my skin was broken out? Did I want to keep feeling bad?

My answer was a hard no.

I didn’t have a label for what I did. I didn’t think to myself, Oh, I’m going Paleo or doing the Whole 30 or working out 5 times a week.

I just asked myself where the excess was. I’d just hit the drive-thru because it was convenient, and sometimes that was excessive. I realized it would be cheaper and easier for me if I just had some meals prepped in the fridge.

I sit down a lot for my work and when I’m homeschooling my kids so I try to take a walk every single day. I also try to get in about 15 minutes of exercise as a part a part of my morning ritual.

That’s it. That works for me.

I’m happy with the way I look and feel when I’m doing these things. I’m happy with my life when I’m living with less in all these areas.

I want you to understand the beauty of living an uncluttered life beyond just your home. Because it matters.

This is your one, beautiful life, sweet mama. Wake up and live the the life you love.

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