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How to Be at Peace with Difficult Family Members this Holiday

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We all have family members who are difficult to be around. For some of us, it’s the strange uncle you don’t leave alone with the kids, or the well-meaning but totally overbearing mother-in-law who makes you feel as though you should take up yoga (or drinking… kidding).

Whoever it is, the holidays are a time of being around those people more often than usual, and this can suck the life out of you.

It doesn’t have to though, promise.

No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.

– Eleanor Roosevelt

We, fortunately, have total control over our responses, thoughts, and how we handle our emotions.

You don’t have to let your rude sister ruin your Christmas Eve dinner.

You don’t have to sit next to your incredibly negative great aunt on the drive to look at Christmas lights.

You can have a peaceful holiday that’s truly full of joyful moments spent enjoying your kids’ reaction to those sweet, magical moments, no matter which family members are joining you.

Here’s how:

1. Get into a peaceful mindset before the festivities start.

Before your family members grace you with their presence, take a few minutes to be by yourself.

Talk to yourself out loud if possible with affirmations of the kind of person you are, how much you love your family and this time of year, how deserving you are of a wonderful time, and how it really doesn’t affect your life at all if someone is rude or intrusive tonight.

Pray, speak life over yourself, pace back and forth and talk to yourself if you need to. This isn’t a silly or unnecessary thing – your family members get to you and that bothers you – you have to get inside your head for a bit and change your mindset sometimes.

Decide to be at peace and to respond in peace. Decide to focus on what is good about this event – your kids being there, your husband being off work and with you, your parents being present and in good health, the delicious cookies and hot cider… find the good, focus on it, breathe.

This will only put you in a bad mood if you let it.

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2. Let go of your emotional ties to other people’s words.

People can be truly rude, believe me, I get it. But you don’t have to allow yourself to emotionally attach to their comments.

If someone says something rude, sharp, condescending, or something similar, get out of the present moment and into your head.

Think to yourself that this doesn’t have to affect you, you won’t let them ruin your evening, and you’re just gonna let this slide right off your back and move on.

3. Boundaries when needed.

Sometimes, a simple “well it’s good to see you, Aunt Cathy. Merry Christmas.” and a quick exit is what you need to do for yourself. It’s a boundary.

You’re essentially saying “I don’t need to sit here and hear your negative words, and I’ve tried to change the subject and be polite but you insist, so I’m going to walk over there now.” in a very acceptable way. It’s okay!

The important thing to remember is to not let difficult, rude, or hurtful people have the power over you that it would take to bring you down.

Don’t give them that.

Stand tall, be confident. You’re beautiful and loved and it’s the best time of the year! Soak in the good and let all the negative parts wash right over you.

Here’s to a truly joyful holiday and family members who put aside their issues for the sake of cookies, egg nog, fireplaces, and twinkly lights. *cheers!*

“You cannot change someone’s point of view using logic if they did not arrive at that point of view using logic.”- Unknown

Set Goals With Purpose This Year!

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I totally get it, I prefer podcasts too! Just click play + I am happy to read this post to you! 

It’s a hot time of year to begin discussing your goals. With the start of the new year comes the endless list of resolutions that people make (and often never achieve). However, I believe that we should review and reflect on our goals and intentions all year long.

I’d bet you have a list of at least 5 things you want to achieve in the new year. But, without laying the proper framework for those goals, it’s very possible that you won’t achieve a single one.

Unfortunately, you can’t just say you want something out loud, and expect things to begin magically happening. You actually need to put in the effort, thoroughly dissect your goals and put detailed steps in place, then you’ll start experiencing results.

Did you know that between 80 and 90 percent of people who set goals on New Year’s don’t achieve them?

I am frequently asked how I achieve so much with 4 children and a full mom life, and part of it is that I’m a go-getter, but even more than that it’s because of the way I set my goals.

Mama, if you’re ready to make this year THE MOST incredible year yet, follow the next 5 steps to a tee and you’ll begin to see some major changes in your life.

5 Steps to Goal Setting Success

1. Decide where you want to go.

In this step, you want to take some time and think about what’s really speaking to you. Is someone doing something that seems really amazing, and that you might want to try?

Nail down the goal, make it specific, something you should be able to say in a few words, or one pointed sentence.

Then, once you’ve nailed your goal down, make sure that it aligns with your core values and purpose. You want to feel peace around the goal, especially after praying over it. Your goals aren’t evil or bad, it’s just that you have a lot going on. If the goal doesn’t offer you peace, it will only lead to more stress down the line. Drop that goal for now, and reassess at another time.

However, there is never going to be a perfect time to do something. Never. It doesn’t exist.

That doesn’t mean you HAVE to work towards every goal, but just be sure you’re choosing your goals carefully.

2. Write your goals down.

You are 42% more likely to do something simply because you wrote it down.

There are plenty of things that can increase your odds, just having a drive, really wanting something, having a lifestyle that sets you up for success, all of these are great – but writing something down is so powerful.

Write your goals down!

I actually show you how to break this whole process down; how I goal set, how I write everything down and use bullet points to break things down into a simplified, readable, trackable way, in my Unburdened course.

3. Create action steps that will take you to your goal.

These steps should be very small, especially if your goal is huge.

If your goal is really life-changing, you might even have 30 or more action steps that you’ll need to take before reaching your goals. Just try to keep all of your action steps very small, simple and pointed.

4. Write down each action step.

I like to use the bullet point system (the whole system is in my Unburdened course).

To start the ultimate goal is the header bullet point, and then I get super specific and do little sub-bullet points for each action step. This leaves my goal looking very neat and is visually satisfying.

This whole process can also be completed using paper. You don’t have to use the computer!

5. Reverse engineer all of your goals.

Reverse engineering starts at the finished goal. It starts at the end point, and it works backwards all the way to where you are standing in your life right now, on this day.

You should create a step-by-step guide that will get you out of the place you’re at, right now, and will walk you through how you will reach whatever your big goal is.

It’s very hard to fail when you successfully reverse engineer your goals.

After you’ve gone through the previous 5 steps, it’s time to become a person of action. Be a woman of intent by taking action, following through on the action, checking in with yourself or an accountability partner, and never quitting until you’ve achieved your goal.

Stop putting off setting your goals, go and take the action NOW! I want you to achieve all that you dream of, that’s why I shared this with you. It works!

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10 Ways to Simplify Your Groceries & Meal Planning

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I have kind of a funny history with meal planning and cooking. The thing is, I always hated it. When Brian worked his dawn-to-midnight job, I was super overwhelmed. I would get to dinner time and be…done, to say the very least. Dinner often meant cereal or protein plates or snacking around because Brian was the only one who really cared, and he was very rarely home for dinner.

Fast forward to last year when we lived in Arkansas and I started my business. Brian’s job was less hours and he was usually home for dinner, which meant more cooking for me. However, I really needed time to work as I grew my business. Things very quickly moved forward and it became a full-time thing.

In order for me to focus on what was most important in that season of our family’s life, we decided that Brian would take over dinner time and all things grocery. He’s basically a chef and enjoys cooking, so it made the most sense for us.

We lived that way for about a year, and now here we are, back in our home state of California with a thriving business that I am no longer running myself (I have five amazing team members I delegate tasks to) and I have taken back the part of my role that entails meal planning and preparing.

I actually started to miss it! Preparing food for my family is important to me and something that makes me feel good, even if it wasn’t elaborate. Plus, I never want to stay stagnant in any area of my life. If I suck at cooking then I want to get better, so I am.

Now that we have the business to run together (Brian does all media work, so he’s actually busier than I am most days), plus four kids, a house, and extracurricular activities to juggle, it’s more important than ever that I keep this area of my life streamlined.

Brian has taken up Crossfit recently and is even training for a competition, so he needs A LOT of food prepped and ready to grab and go. He also needs big meals to provide the protein, energy, and stamina his body needs to perform during his workouts.

I can’t have gluten, have to be careful with dairy, and generally have to eat extremely clean because of my gut and skin issues.

All of this is enough to be super intimidating for someone who took a year off and is already not a natural at this area of homemaking, but I’ve figured out a pretty solid routine (thank the good Lord), and since I get asked about this a lot, I’m sharing my tips with you today!

10 Ways to Simplify Your Groceries + Meal Planning

1. Choose a few pre-planned meals, just get staple ingredients for the others.

I think a lot of us feel the need to know exactly what we’ll be serving for dinner every day of the week. If that works for you, stick with it! But for me, I’m a little too sporadic for that, and whenever I plan my week that way we end up not cooking one or two of the planned dinners and groceries get wasted.

So now, I only choose about three exact dinners, and then get basic ingredients like chicken breast, bacon, sweet potato and other veggies to make a spur-of-the-moment, simple meal the other nights.

I might also make those other nights a repeat meal that we have all the time, like tacos.

2. Get all your planning done in one day each week.

Every Sunday night, I pour myself a glass of wine and sit down with a notebook, my cookbooks, and a pen. I choose my meals, make a shopping list, and map out exactly what I’ll be buying for breakfasts, lunches, dinners, and snacks.

I make sure I’m planning all the way through the following Monday (the day I shop) which leads me to….

3. Choose another day for all shopping.

On Mondays, I do my grocery shopping. What isn’t being delivered by Amazon Fresh (more on that below) is purchased and ready for the week.

4. Prep immediately after shopping whenever possible.

Instead of bringing in groceries and putting them straight in the fridge, I’ve started washing and slicing and prepping everything as soon as I’m home from my errands.

I got this handy trick from my new favorite book by Brooke Sailer, (I’m Failing At) This Thing Called Home.

5. Food prep, don’t meal prep.

Meal prepping may totally work for you, but it doesn’t for us! We’ve found that food prepping is much more doable. Food prepping looks like sauteed potatoes, sliced fruit, cooked and shredded chicken, baked sweet potato fries, all stored in the fridge, ready to use. It’s pieces of meals that you can grab, reheat, and eat based on what sounds good and how much time you have.

6. Base it on your schedule.

If you know Wednesday nights are super crazy for your family, have that be a Crockpot or take-out night every week.

7. Keep a running list of everything you’re out of.

This one is obvious and overstated, but worth saying one more time! My list is on my fridge and in my phone. I check both on Sunday nights when making my shopping lists.

8. Amazon Subscribe + Save and Amazon Fresh.

Amazon is KILLING IT. They just bought Whole Foods, so more organic goodness is surely coming our way, and they now offer subscriptions for your most-used food and household items. Some things on my Subscribe + Save account include; toilet paper, paper towels, baby wipes, snack bars, shampoo, soap, laundry detergent, and cleaning sprays.

With Amazon Fresh, you can do your grocery shopping from your couch (if it’s offered in your city) and get organic fruits, veggies, and pretty much anything. Amazing!

9. Don’t overthink it. Know what works!

Don’t over complicate meal planning because it’s daunting or you dislike it. Streamline, simplify, cut out the things that aren’t working and stick to what is.

10. Stop being afraid of repeating meals.

No shame in repeats, yo. I know a friend who rotates ten meals, exactly that way, all the time. It’s been that way for years and her family has no complaints. It’s easier for her, too! Win win. If that works for you, embrace it and count yourself as one of the lucky ones!

 

READY TO SIMPLIFY EVEN MORE? MY GLOBALLY-PRAISED COURSE, YOUR UNCLUTTERED HOME, INCLUDES A SECTION ON MINIMALIST MEAL PLANNING.

TELL ME MORE

Other Things That Work For Our Family

– Prepped food becomes lunch plates we can fix up in less than ten minutes.

– Breakfasts are the same meals rotated.

  1. Coffee and a bar (cereal for kids)

  2. Smoothies

  3. “Big healthy plates” (this is what we call eggs topped with avocado, uncured bacon, grilled tomatoes with salt and pepper, and sweet potato hash).

  4. Pancakes + bacon (GF, of course!)

– Bars instead of lunch for the really busy, on-the-go kind of days (our favorites are Lara and RX).

– Prepped foods that work on-the-go.

  • Fresh sliced fruits

  • Grilled chicken (cold in a Ziplock)

  • Snackable veggies

– We always have a couple easy/frozen meals on hand for “emergencies”. Like when the babysitter shows up on time and you were so excited for date night that you forgot you have kids….

  • Mac + Cheese

  • Chicken nuggets

  • Frozen pizzas

– I (try to) always have kid & adult snacks as well as water bottles in my bag or in the car.

Phew! That pretty much sums up what I’ve been doing to keep meal preparation as simple as possible with four kids and a Crossfit hubby. I hope it inspires and helps you!

What do you do to simplify meals in your house? Let me know in the comments!

10 Ways to Simplify Your Groceries & Meal Planning

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I have kind of a funny history with meal planning and cooking. The thing is, I always hated it. When Brian worked his dawn-to-midnight job, I was super overwhelmed. I would get to dinner time and be…done, to say the very least. Dinner often meant cereal or protein plates or snacking around because Brian was the only one who really cared, and he was very rarely home for dinner.

Fast forward to last year when we lived in Arkansas and I started my business. Brian’s job was less hours and he was usually home for dinner, which meant more cooking for me. However, I really needed time to work as I grew my business. Things very quickly moved forward and it became a full-time thing.

In order for me to focus on what was most important in that season of our family’s life, we decided that Brian would take over dinner time and all things grocery. He’s basically a chef and enjoys cooking, so it made the most sense for us.

We lived that way for about a year, and now here we are, back in our home state of California with a thriving business that I am no longer running myself (I have five amazing team members I delegate tasks to) and I have taken back the part of my role that entails meal planning and preparing.

I actually started to miss it! Preparing food for my family is important to me and something that makes me feel good, even if it wasn’t elaborate. Plus, I never want to stay stagnant in any area of my life. If I suck at cooking then I want to get better, so I am.

Now that we have the business to run together (Brian does all media work, so he’s actually busier than I am most days), plus four kids, a house, and extracurricular activities to juggle, it’s more important than ever that I keep this area of my life streamlined.

Brian has taken up Crossfit recently and is even training for a competition, so he needs A LOT of food prepped and ready to grab and go. He also needs big meals to provide the protein, energy, and stamina his body needs to perform during his workouts.

I can’t have gluten, have to be careful with dairy, and generally have to eat extremely clean because of my gut and skin issues.

All of this is enough to be super intimidating for someone who took a year off and is already not a natural at this area of homemaking, but I’ve figured out a pretty solid routine (thank the good Lord), and since I get asked about this a lot, I’m sharing my tips with you today!

10 Ways to Simplify Your Groceries + Meal Planning

1. Choose a few pre-planned meals, just get staple ingredients for the others.

I think a lot of us feel the need to know exactly what we’ll be serving for dinner every day of the week. If that works for you, stick with it! But for me, I’m a little too sporadic for that, and whenever I plan my week that way we end up not cooking one or two of the planned dinners and groceries get wasted.

So now, I only choose about three exact dinners, and then get basic ingredients like chicken breast, bacon, sweet potato and other veggies to make a spur-of-the-moment, simple meal the other nights.

I might also make those other nights a repeat meal that we have all the time, like tacos.

2. Get all your planning done in one day each week.

Every Sunday night, I pour myself a glass of wine and sit down with a notebook, my cookbooks, and a pen. I choose my meals, make a shopping list, and map out exactly what I’ll be buying for breakfasts, lunches, dinners, and snacks.

I make sure I’m planning all the way through the following Monday (the day I shop) which leads me to….

3. Choose another day for all shopping.

On Mondays, I do my grocery shopping. What isn’t being delivered by Amazon Fresh (more on that below) is purchased and ready for the week.

4. Prep immediately after shopping whenever possible.

Instead of bringing in groceries and putting them straight in the fridge, I’ve started washing and slicing and prepping everything as soon as I’m home from my errands.

I got this handy trick from my new favorite book by Brooke Sailer, (I’m Failing At) This Thing Called Home.

5. Food prep, don’t meal prep.

Meal prepping may totally work for you, but it doesn’t for us! We’ve found that food prepping is much more doable. Food prepping looks like sauteed potatoes, sliced fruit, cooked and shredded chicken, baked sweet potato fries, all stored in the fridge, ready to use. It’s pieces of meals that you can grab, reheat, and eat based on what sounds good and how much time you have.

6. Base it on your schedule.

If you know Wednesday nights are super crazy for your family, have that be a Crockpot or take-out night every week.

7. Keep a running list of everything you’re out of.

This one is obvious and overstated, but worth saying one more time! My list is on my fridge and in my phone. I check both on Sunday nights when making my shopping lists.

8. Amazon Subscribe + Save and Amazon Fresh.

Amazon is KILLING IT. They just bought Whole Foods, so more organic goodness is surely coming our way, and they now offer subscriptions for your most-used food and household items. Some things on my Subscribe + Save account include; toilet paper, paper towels, baby wipes, snack bars, shampoo, soap, laundry detergent, and cleaning sprays.

With Amazon Fresh, you can do your grocery shopping from your couch (if it’s offered in your city) and get organic fruits, veggies, and pretty much anything. Amazing!

9. Don’t overthink it. Know what works!

Don’t over complicate meal planning because it’s daunting or you dislike it. Streamline, simplify, cut out the things that aren’t working and stick to what is.

10. Stop being afraid of repeating meals.

No shame in repeats, yo. I know a friend who rotates ten meals, exactly that way, all the time. It’s been that way for years and her family has no complaints. It’s easier for her, too! Win win. If that works for you, embrace it and count yourself as one of the lucky ones!

 

READY TO SIMPLIFY EVEN MORE? MY GLOBALLY-PRAISED COURSE, YOUR UNCLUTTERED HOME, INCLUDES A SECTION ON MINIMALIST MEAL PLANNING.

TELL ME MORE

Other Things That Work For Our Family

– Prepped food becomes lunch plates we can fix up in less than ten minutes.

– Breakfasts are the same meals rotated.

  1. Coffee and a bar (cereal for kids)

  2. Smoothies

  3. “Big healthy plates” (this is what we call eggs topped with avocado, uncured bacon, grilled tomatoes with salt and pepper, and sweet potato hash).

  4. Pancakes + bacon (GF, of course!)

– Bars instead of lunch for the really busy, on-the-go kind of days (our favorites are Lara and RX).

– Prepped foods that work on-the-go.

  • Fresh sliced fruits

  • Grilled chicken (cold in a Ziplock)

  • Snackable veggies

– We always have a couple easy/frozen meals on hand for “emergencies”. Like when the babysitter shows up on time and you were so excited for date night that you forgot you have kids….

  • Mac + Cheese

  • Chicken nuggets

  • Frozen pizzas

– I (try to) always have kid & adult snacks as well as water bottles in my bag or in the car.

Phew! That pretty much sums up what I’ve been doing to keep meal preparation as simple as possible with four kids and a Crossfit hubby. I hope it inspires and helps you!

What do you do to simplify meals in your house? Let me know in the comments!

How to Do A Digital Declutter

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When we think of decluttering we often picture our clothes, our kid’s toys, or other stuff in our home. But how often do you take the time to look at all of your digital clutter? 

I think that a lot of the time digital clutter gets forgotten because it isn’t physically in front of your face. It doesn’t often bother you until you open your computer, or start looking for a file only to stop halfway through because you’re so frustrated with being unable to find anything you’ve saved on your computer’s hard drive.

It’s about time that we stop ignoring the digital clutter and instead use the digital world in a way that can not only keep our online world in sync and organized, but also help us declutter our homes.

Are you familiar with cloud storage?

I’m sure that the majority of you are. It is a magical way that you can begin digitizing your family’s life, plus when you have everything stored virtually it becomes really really easy to share files and pictures with just a few clicks.

However, just like the junk drawer in your kitchen, without a system in place it can easily become a complete disaster. Systems aren’t just for physical things, mama!

Create a System for How You Will Organize Your Files

There’s no right or wrong, here. Just create a way to organize your files that makes sense to you. Maybe you organize by purpose, so: work, family, recreation, etc. Or, you could even organize based on events, vacation, parties, family, etc. Or, get really basic and just organize by month and year. Honestly the sky’s the limit, as long as you choose ONE consistent way that suits you best.

One thing to note, please don’t overcomplicate things! Just don’t do it to yourself!

For example, choosing to save everything by day or week will likely lead to burnout. You’ll get so sick of having to go in and label and file everything by the appropriate date.

By grouping the types of folders needed together, you’ll make it easier to keep up with. And, the biggest part of living in a minimalist way is to be able to enjoy life more, not create more burdens.

An example would be to start with the year, and then branch off from there. So…

2017 > September > Family > Photos
2017 > September > Family > Documents
2017 > September > Vacation > Photos
2017 > September > Vacation > Documents

Of course you can always come back and change anything, but if you use a method you really love from the beginning, it will help you stick to the method for the long-haul, and help remove the headache of needing to start from scratch down the road.

Resist Saving Every File

Just like it is unnecessary to save every piece of mail that you receive, it is unnecessary to save every digital file.

Take the time to go through what you already have saved, maybe take 30 minutes a day. Move everything that are MUST KEEPS into the appropriate folders so that you can easily find pictures, documents, etc in the future, whenever you might need them.

I’m sure it goes without saying, but it isn’t worth saving every blurry image, or a video that is inaudible, but at the same time don’t blindly start deleting files. Doing that could lead to accidentally losing something important or sentimental.

Then, once you’ve completed your file purge, be sure to periodically check-in to be sure you aren’t allowing clutter to build-up again. Make time to go in weekly, to quickly move things into their corresponding folder. If you keep up with this process, it shouldn’t take much time at all!

Awesome! Hopefully you’re starting to feel like your digital life can be easily brought under control. Remember, nothing needs to happen immediately, take it step by step.

Your Beloved Photos

These days it is SO easy to take and keep pictures. You no longer need to buy rolls of film, nor do you need to get them developed. Now, it’s as simple as plugging your SD card into your computer, or going to the camera roll on your phone.

However, with the ease of taking photos, comes the overwhelming urge to keep every single one. But, mama, that just isn’t necessary!

The days fly by, and your children grow up fast, but you really don’t need 8 pictures of the same scene at your daughter’s birthday party.

Instead, here’s my advice, if you have an excessive amount of photos on your phone or on your SD card, go through some each day.

If you have many different shots from about the same moment, choose ONE to keep, make it your favorite one, or the one that makes you laugh, or it can even be the one where you feel the prettiest, but make it JUST ONE.

Once you’ve pared down all of the ones on your phone and on any other storage device you have, you need to upload these to your cloud storage, using the method you chose above.

Stick to the system you created. It will make the images easier to find later on, plus you’ll keep everything clutter free!

Love Your Children’s Artwork Without It Taking Up Space

Let’s face it, our kids will be creating and bringing home artwork for many many years to come. And, we love it all! We love the little reindeer heads made out of baby feet, and the quickly colored pages that were created during library story hour, but our homes just do not allow us to keep everything.

Here are two things that I recommend you try doing.

1. Use a Folder.

Have a folder where you keep all of your children’s artwork (one for each child), but every piece of art into that folder. Then, at the end of each month, go through it with your child.

Have them choose their favorite piece that they want to keep, and then you get to choose 1 piece that you want to keep.

2. Store Digitally

Once you’ve gone through each piece once, go through them a second time choosing some of the best, or some of your favorite ones and start storing them using an app like ARTKIVE or canvsly.

This way you are able to store their work forever, without it taking up a substantial amount of space in your kitchen.

3. Ditch the rest (and the guilt).

I know, I know. It seems impossible to get rid of anything that your children create. You worry you’ll miss that one single item, but it is completely unnecessary to keep every single piece.

By completing the previous two steps, you’re allowing yourself to remove the guilt from getting rid of the papers with just a few scribbles, or stickers on it.

Replace DVDs with a Way to Watch Videos Online

Now, I want to talk about a potential eyesore in your home– The spot where all of your DVDs are housed. Kids love movies and cartoons, and even if they don’t watch a ton, allowing them to watch it on occasion is necessary, things need to get done around the house, and let’s be honest, sometimes mama just needs a break.

The great thing is that there’s no longer a need to keep every single DVD. With services like Netflix, Amazon and Hulu you can find many of the popular cartoons and older movies there, without needing to house the physical disc in your home.

You might then be asking, what about all of the new movies that I’ve purchased, but aren’t available anywhere else?

Well, there are a couple of different things you can do, many new videos come with codes that can then be used to download digital copies on apps like VUDU. And, if you no longer have those codes, or it’s an old movie that didn’t come with one (and it isn’t available on Netflix), you can always buy a digital copy. Spending the extra money may not be your favorite thing to do, but if it helps to remove the dreaded clutter and it is one of your children’s favorite movies, it might be worth the splurge.

You could also allow your children to choose 2 or 3 movies each. Find or purchase those movies digitally, and then donate the rest.

It can be tough to get rid of beloved DVDs, or gorgeous pieces of your children’s artwork, but if they are taking up space that is leading to a clutter problem, which in turn causes you stress, it’s time to buckle down and go through everything. With the advancement in tech these days, it makes it pretty easy to keep the items that mean the most to you, nearby.

How do you digitally declutter? Leave a comment and let me know!

How I Simplified Clean Eating & Healed My Gut

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My entire life, I’ve had a very sensitive stomach. That’s all I thought it was. I got sick to my stomach a lot, and I have loads of embarrassing memories having to do with my stomach issues. As silly as it might sound, I just learned to deal with it rather than dissecting it and getting to the root. That’s what kids do, usually.

As I grew up, got married, and had kids, my health was not a priority. I ate fast food on a regular basis and we were on a very tight budget, so eating the cleanest of food didn’t feel like a possibility even if I’d cared. Honestly, I used junk food to cope with a lot. I was an emotional eater for sure.

I started getting these intense headaches several times a week, sometimes every day for a period of time.

My spine would start to ache every late afternoon, and I couldn’t even keep my eyes open (Not exaggerating here. It was terrible.) once 2pm rolled around.

My periods were absolutely unbearable. I would cramp so bad I passed out more than once. I would vomit from the pain and cancel 2-3 days of plans because the bleeding was so heavy I couldn’t leave the house.

My skin was breaking out with these huge, cystic pimples that hurt so bad and would linger for weeks and weeks.

Weird things started happening to my body and it all got worse when I ate.

It got to a point where anxiety formed around eating. I was afraid to eat unless I knew I wouldn’t need to feel good the next day. I realize how sad that sounds, but that’s where my head was at with four kids and a lot else going on. And then the anxiety started to spread like this terrifying cancer in my life. I was anxious about leaving the house because I might get sick. I was anxious about money. I was anxious about everything all the time. And in this weird way in my head, it was all based on food.

I was afraid of my own body. I spent every day trying to keep it quiet so I could live my life, but nothing worked. I would eat healthy and feel better for a bit and then something would set it off and I’d get super sick and anxiety would flood in again. I felt like I couldn’t pin down what exactly was bothering me.

I knew I didn’t handle heavy dairy well at all (like ice cream and lattes) but other than that I felt at a loss. I had cut out greasy foods and bread and all kinds of different things but would only be okay for a little while before terrible stomach issues would flare up again.

One day last year, I had had enough and went to see a naturopath who specializes in gut health. I sat in her office a sobbing mess. She listened to me and was very gentle as she explained that this is not how I was meant to live. It reminded me of how I am always seeking to live abundantly, not just get by, and I realized I’d been just getting by because of my stomach. I was ready to get to the bottom of this.

She had me lay on my back and felt around my intestines. There were a couple of very sharp pains as she did this, telling her what parts of my body were reacting to my diet and giving her clues about why.

She ran a few other tests and gave me the following diagnosis:

  • Adrenal fatigue. My body was exhausted. I knew anxiety had a lot to do with that. Anyone who has struggled with it knows how tiring it can be. The naturopath explained that when your adrenals are fatigued, your body is focused on keeping your energy up, so everything else. Including digesting food properly, goes on the back burner and the bare minimum gets done.

  • Dehydration. I wasn’t drinking enough water, and it was contributing to my upset stomach too. I felt like I was drinking plenty of water, but with my life, the day often got away from me and I was only drinking a bottle or two each day.

  • Gluten intolerance. A few months later, I would visit a doctor who officially diagnosed me with Celiacs, but I found out from the naturopath early on that my body does not tolerate gluten at all. This is what made me get really intentional about cutting it from my diet.

When we talked, we uncovered that these three things coupled with the fact that I just wasn’t taking proper care of myself and eating “junk food” often was making me sick. My body wasn’t doing well and I had to make a change.

Getting information like this is really overwhelming, especially when you’re a busy mom and business owner who’s (at this time) living in a camper and traveling full-time. I felt like it would be impossible for me to make the changes I needed to make when eating out was a very regular part of our lives in that season because of traveling. I was determined to get serious and find a way to simplify clean eating. I truly believed it was blown way out of proportion and people were overcomplicating it. After all, this is the way God designed us to eat… it could be simple, right?

Well, not at first.

Eating clean is fine, but eating clean in this modern society full of fake additives and gluten in literally everything felt nearly impossible the first few months.

Over time, I found ways to take my motto, “simplify” and apply it to eating well and healing my sick gut. I ended up losing 40 pounds (so far) and I can’t put into words how I feel now versus before. I went from an XL to a Medium, I have way more confidence, and I’m a much happier person.

My periods got so much lighter that a few months ago, I started without even realizing it was that time of the month. Normally, my cramps would be so bad for a few days before starting that it would completely interrupt my life.

My skin cleared up- finally! This probably made me happier than any of the other good things that happened. My skin was a huge burden for me for years and years and years.

Here’s what I learned, and I hope it helps someone reading this who’s struggling in this area!

1. Clean eating boils down to choices.

Making one good choice at a time will move you forward one small step at a time, and it all adds up.

So when I’m invited to a party, my best choice would be to prepare ahead of time by:
a) politely asking if there will be anything served that fits my diet
b) eating a meal before I arrive
c) bringing a healthy snack in my purse just in case

I have several options and any one of them is better than showing up unprepared and panicking when everything being served will make me sick and letting it ruin my experience at an event I was looking forward to.

There have been times I’ve found myself in a situation- starving and unprepared- in a place with junk food only. I just make the best choice I can in each situation. This one is not ideal, and I needed to prepare better, but in that moment I’ll probably find a piece of something offered (like the fruit served on the side of the sandwiches) to hold me over until I can leave.

2. Preparation is key, and just because my life is very full doesn’t mean I have an excuse to fail.

Preparing ahead of time for things is not my strong suite. I’m a pretty spontaneous person, and committing to things ahead of time kinda freaks me out.

When it comes to clean eating, though, preparation is everything. You will not successfully eat a clean diet without preparing food ahead of time. Period.

Telling myself this and owning up to my new reality, as much as it cramped my spontaneous style was key for me. It’s a reality-based pep talk I had to give myself several times in the beginning stages of “going clean”. And once I started preparing better, eating well was so much easier.

3. Food prepping works better for me than meal prepping.

I first heard about food prepping during a coaching call with Amanda Wilson. She told me about it after I complained for several whiny minutes about how much I hate preparing meals and then they don’t sound good when the time comes to heat them up and serve them. #spontaneousgirlproblems

Basically, food prepping is slicing, preparing, and storing basic foods you can use as ingredients or just snack around on. For example, potatoes, cucumber, zucchini, strawberries, things like that.

I started cooking whole chickens, shredding it, and storing it in the fridge. I cooked red potatoes, seasoned with butter and garlic and stored them for later. I wash and sliced berries when I came home from the store rather than just putting the whole box in the fridge.

This had me prepped with lots of food and snack options so that I was putting meals together with already-made ingredients instead of a) cooking from scratch with zero prepared or b) having to eat a meal I prepared for tonight that didn’t even sound good.

P.S. Amanda is a wellness guru and she shares the most practical, amazing clean eating tips on her Instagram (and her InstaStory). Give her a follow and be inspired!

4. Food should get higher financial priority.

Eating clean is more expensive than not eating clean. Everyone knows that. We can complain about it all we want, use it as an excuse to make not-so-great choices, but the fact is we live in a time where convenience food is cheaper and food that God put on this earth to sustain us costs an arm and a leg.

I say we all stop complaining, realize that it is what it is, and do what we can in our specific circumstances. If that means you can buy every single thing the cleanest you can get it, great! If that means you pick and choose which fruits and veggies you buy organic and which ones you can skip because they matter less, okay then, do that.

There are so many resources of eating clean on a budget- look at Pinterest! There’s really no excuse. Maybe you cut back on meats, maybe you shop the sales, maybe you cut back on other expenses in your budget, but don’t let money rule your stomach if you need to eat clean.

I get asked a lot what our budget is for food and groceries, and the truth is we really don’t have one. Eating clean is a high priority for our family not only because of my story, but because my husband has his own story and a very unhealthy family history. This takes priority and we have decided to do everything we can to make eating clean enjoyable, delicious, and as simple as possible.

5. I cannot do what God has called me to do if I don’t feel good, and that’s more than reason enough to be disciplined.

I’ve learned that my stomach problems (and the anxiety they led to) were directly impacting my purpose. I was shying away from opportunities with my kids, in business, as well as socially because of anxiety and worry and stomach aches.

God showed me that I am unable to live my life, be a woman of influence (a duty He gave me that I do not take lightly), raise my kids to the best of my ability, and fulfill His calling on my life if I don’t feel good.

If I am riddled with anxiety and pain I am nearly worthless. I shut down and just need to sleep while I wait for the pains to pass. That is not living an abundant life and that is certainly not how I’m called to live.

There is no food on this planet that’s worth sacrificing that for. That is what I remind myself of when everyone is eating cake. There’s no use for a pity party.

This is the way I was made, and I’ve learned to be truly grateful for it. It made me lose weight and feel better, it made me a more disciplined person, and it forces me to take great care of my temple.

My hope for you who are reading this is that you feel capable and inspired. Clean eating doesn’t have to be this over complicated, mapped out thing that takes over your entire life. Simplify where you can, make healthy choices as you go about your day, and keep learning. As you learn and know more, do better. You CAN do this, and it’s so worth it. I promise!

Want more ideas to help you simplify healthy eating? I’ve got 10 ideas to help you get started!

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