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Archives for May 2019

5 Types of Hard-To-Kick Clutter & How To Handle Them

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Decluttering is my main jam. I love helping women do this in their homes because it matters so much more than people even realize.

For women, specifically, there are a lot of negative effects of having clutter. One study even linked having a cluttered home to feeling unhappy in your family in general.

That’s powerful. That tells me that all of our stuff is bothering us and it’s affecting us in a big way.

That’s why I’m so passionate about helping women go through their homes and remove the excess. I want you left with only the things that are serving you and your families and contributing to a joyful and full life.

Having said that, I know that there are things that are hard to declutter. I get it. I’ve been there and I want to help you make good decisions so that you can keep making progress.

So, let’s look at five areas that can really trip you up when it comes to decluttering and how to push through them.

#1 Sentimental items

Typically, when people realize the role that clutter plays in their lives, they’re ready to make a change. So they get going and they’re doing great but then they find the bin of sentimental keepsakes and they just feel stumped.

How can you let go of the sweet, little dress that your daughter wore when she was dedicated at church? Or the photo of the positive pregnancy test from the baby that you miscarried? How do you get rid of the things that really tug on your heartstrings

What classifies as clutter versus something that is sentimental and truly a keepsake? How do you make the decision?

If you’ve been around here for more than ten minutes you know that I’m not about rules. I’m definitely not going to give you anything like that because this is different for every person.

If you get stuck on something sentimental, I encourage you to skip that area and move on. Go work on your bathroom or a bookshelf in the living room.

Declutter something else for now. Come back when you’ve been at this for a bit longer and you’ve seen the positive effects of letting go of clutter.

What happens is, as you evolve in this area in your life with getting rid of things, you grow. You evolve. You change.

You see that this really makes a difference. Keeping only what is serving you well makes you happy. That makes letting go of things less and less difficult as you go.

And once you declutter one or two sentimental things, it will get even easier because you have seen that you’ve let go of something that was special to you and nothing bad happened.

Please remember that letting go of physical possessions doesn’t mean that you are letting go of memories. On the other hand, it is OK to keep some things too. I think the line is when you have a bunch of bins full of “memories” that you are storing away because you are avoiding making decisions.

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#2 Your kids toys

First of all, don’t declutter your kids’ toys without them unless they are super young, like under age 3. If they are older than that, have them join you, even if it makes it more difficult and the process a lot slower.

Kids can really feel violated and mistrust you if you throw away their stuff without them knowing. That’s not what we want.

Start by having your kids pick out ten things they don’t play with anymore. Explain that there are so many children that don’t have toys and they would love it if they shared with them. Then, bag up the donations together and go to the donation center with your kids.

Make it a really happy, exciting thing so they don’t feel like they’re getting punished. This can teach them empathy and give them solid reasoning behind letting go of their stuff.

If your kids are having a hard time letting go of things, give them time. Go through the rest of your house and show them by example what letting go and minimalism looks like and let them follow in their own time.

#3 Your wardrobe

Letting go of your clothes is really hard when you’re a mom. You have bought clothes throughout different seasons of motherhood and body shapes. You can really easily – and understandably – not want to get rid of something that you might end up needing later.

But don’t get stuck in that fear. Go into your closet and look and get honest with yourself. What looks fantastic on you right now? Keep it. Everything else should probably go in the donation pile.

Having a bunch of stuff that doesn’t fit, used to fit, or that you want to fit you someday is not serving you at all. It is actually, subconsciously, making you really unhappy every time you get dressed.

Only keep in your closet what looks fantastic and what makes you feel great right now. Because that’s what you deserve.

A quick note on maternity clothes. If you are planning to get pregnant again, hold onto them. We are not looking to throw things out and waste money deliberately if you know you will use it again.

#4 Your husband’s stuff

Probably the top question I get is “how do I get my husband on board with this?” My answer is this: you don’t. He is his own separate person. Leave him alone.

If you start purging his stuff while he is at work he is going to resent you for it and hate minimalism forever. Leave his stuff alone if he hasn’t given you permission to declutter for him.

Find that sweet spot for yourself and let your husband be. In the end, he may come around like mine did.

The same rule applies with your in-laws, your parents, your friends and the people who come to your kids’ birthday parties.

#5 Paperwork

Go through your house with an empty box and collect all the stray paperwork that you can find. Then set aside some time to go through it.

You can pour yourself a cup of coffee or a glass of wine, turn on Netflix, whatever. But sit and sort through it all.

Make decisions about every piece of paper you pick up. Don’t allow yourself to start a “not sure” pile or an “I’ll deal with this later” pile.

If it’s something that your husband needs to look at and he’s not there, you can put it aside for him. But I would encourage you to set aside time to sort through paperwork when he is with you so you don’t find a reason or an excuse to put it aside for later.

It’s OK to make piles but don’t make a bunch of random piles that could have been eliminated if you had just made decisions.

I know these areas can be hard to tackle. I know it can feel overwhelming but I hope I have helped to simplify the overwhelm.

The truth is that if you don’t take power over your stuff, you are giving your stuff power over you.

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7 Ways You Can Treat Yo’self for Free

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Hey, where my mamas at?? Let’s have a little real talk.

Isn’t it so hard sometimes to pamper yourself without feeling guilty?!

We think, “Oh, I can’t get my nails done because we really can’t afford that right now.” Or “I would love to grab coffee from Starbucks but it’s like $75 for a tall (small) and that’s not in the budget.” Or “The kids need shoes more than I need a night out.” And we just let ourselves make it seem impossible. We let ourselves stay in the burnout.

For most of us going out and spending an exorbitant amount of cash on self-indulgence isn’t realistic. In some seasons it’s not even an option. Been. There.

But that doesn’t mean that we can’t treat ourselves at all. Mamas need love too! Remember, you can’t pour from an empty cup! We just have to be a little more creative sometimes in how the cup gets filled back up.

Because I love you and I strongly believe moms need self-care, I’ve put together 7 Ways You Can Treat Yo’self for FREE! Now you have no excuses, friend! I’ve done the brainstorming for you 😉

Take. A. Frickin. Nap.

For moms, sleep is a long-lost friend and a cherished memory. There are probably not many of us who actually get the recommended hours of sleep each night. We’re up before the sun and we don’t stop until long after it goes down.

Some of us work outside the home, some of us work inside the home—either way, we’re all working our butts off all day long. It’s a lot.

Taking a quick 30-minute nap during the day will have you feeling like a QUEEN. Or at least like a functioning human.

If you’re home during the day, set the kids in front of the tv. I promise it won’t fry their brains to watch Netflix for 30 mins. If you work outside the home, go out to your car on your lunch break, roll the windows down, lean the seat back, (set an alarm) and nap! You will wake up feeling so refreshed and like a million bucks!

Take a Hot Shower or Bubble Bath

Remember the days when you stayed in the shower until the hot water ran out? What a life, am I right? When you’ve got little kids, a hot shower can feel like an impossibility. You basically feel like you won a gold medal if you can wash the shampoo out of your hair.

It sounds ridiculous because, you know, we all deserve to be clean. But it’s true! It’s like kids have this radar that tells them that you’re about to do something by yourself and all of a sudden, they need all the things.

If your kids are really little and can’t be unsupervised for any amount of time, then wait until dad comes home. And don’t feel bad letting him watch the kids by himself for a little while. Sure, he worked all day, but you did too.

He’s a grown man, who (probably) has a job with a lot of responsibilities. He’s capable of watching your kids and you need to trust him. Plus, it’s great bonding time with daddy!

Side note: most husbands really do want their wives to feel good and they want to help with their children. So, just tell him what you need and then go take an hour-long soak in the tub.

If you’re single-mommin’ it. Call a friend or your mom to come watch the kids for 30 mins to an hour. Or, if that’s not possible, set them up in your room with toys or a movie, turn on the baby monitor and “Treat Yo’self!”

Netflix and Chill… By Yo’self! #livinthedream

After the kids go to bed, pour yourself a glass of wine—or a cup of coffee— get comfy on the couch and watch an episode or two (or ten) of a show that doesn’t include a talking animal. Talk about feeling like a new woman!

Olivia Pope will have you walking away feeling like you know how to handle your bizness!

Go For a Walk

Fresh air, mama. You need it. It can be so easy to find yourself stuck inside all day. Especially if you work outside the home.

If you’re a stay-at-home mom and your kids are little enough, strap them in a stroller, pop in some earbuds, and take a walk around the neighborhood. Or if your kids are older, let them ride bikes or walk in front of you. Either way, they’re not allowed to bother you for the duration of the walk. Unless it’s an emergency. They can handle it.

If you work outside the home, find a safe park or neighborhood near your office and walk during your lunch break. Listen to a podcast, here’s one of mine on self-care. 😉

This is also considered exercise so, look achoo workin’ out and stuff!

Read a (Good) Book

It doesn’t always have to be an educational/self-help book. Find a good piece of fiction. It’s fun, it’s stretches your imagination, inspires creativity, and is actually proven to make you a more compassionate person.

Books are great because they can transport you to another place or time. Who doesn’t wish they could be someone or somewhere else every once in a while?

Give Yourself a Mani/Pedi

You don’t have to go to the salon and spend $40 to get your nails done. Grab your favorite color polish and give your fingers and toes some love.

It’s not quite as good as having someone else do it, but you’ll feel better when your toes are pretty! 😉

Go for a Drive.

I used to do this all the time when my husband worked a lot. I would get my kids in their pajamas, put them in their car seats, and go for a drive.

They would be asleep in minutes and I would have the car ride to listen to music, pray, or just think. Basically, it was uninterrupted alone time.

This could work if it’s raining outside too. Wait until naptime, strap your kids in the car, and go for a long drive.

Write in Your Journal

There is something so therapeutic about getting everything in your head down onto a sheet of paper. Light some candles, pour a hot cup of coffee, and just have some quiet time. Write down your feelings, your dreams, and what you’re learning.

 

Here’s some Loving Your Body Better Journal Prompts because we could all do that a little better!

Heck Yes!

 

It’s so easy to make excuses when it comes to treating ourselves. We’re too busy, money’s too tight, the kids are too little. Or if we do, we end up feeling guilty because we could have done something else with that money.

Stop it now. No one is forcing us to feel that way and we shouldn’t.

So grab some chocolate, pour some wine, and TREAT YO’SELF!

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