As moms, are we doing full hair & makeup every single day? No, not necessarily. But we can get in better rhythms and habits and make ourselves our priority. Because if we are making ourselves a priority and making ourselves up a little bit, we will feel better about ourselves. It may seem a bit silly talking about hair and makeup for yourself. But it makes a huge difference throughout the decisions in the rest of your day when you start your day off feeling good about yourself.
Jaime McLaughlin is a hair + makeup professional who runs themachouseblog.com. She is also a mom to 4 little ones, so her life is quite busy! She has mastered how to simplify your hair + makeup routine as a busy mom. She is a well of wisdom in this area. And she is amazing, lovely, and so skilled! You are in for a treat this episode!
In This Episode, Allie + Jaime discuss:
The importance of making yourself a priority, as it reflects how you feel about yourself.
Tips for simplifying your hair + makeup routines as a busy mom.
Key products to an easy, everyday makeup look.
Mentioned in this Episode:
Replays of my very best online workshops (not available anywhere else)
Tons of actionable PDF’s, downloadable with one click
More than 20 audio & video trainings!
Professionally-designed printables for your home to keep you focused & inspired
Mom life. We are surrounded with the message that it’s the tired life. The no-time-for-myself life. The hard life. And while it is hard and full of lots of servitude, the idea that motherhood means a joyless life is something I am passionate about putting a stop to. I’m on a mission to help you stop counting down the minutes till bedtime, at least most days. I want you to stop cleaning up after your kid’s childhood and start being present for it. Start enjoying it. I believe in John 10:10 “that we are called to abundant life” and i know mothers are not excluded from that promise. Join me in conversations about simplicity, minimalism and lots of other good stuff that leads to a life of less for the sake of enjoying more in your motherhood. I’m Allie Casazza and this is the The Purpose Show.
ALLIE: Hey guys! Welcome to another episode of The Purpose Show! This is Episode 13. I have Jaime McLaughlin with us today. We are talking about hair and makeup and feeling more put together, even if you are a busy mom. I am super excited today! Thank you for being here!
JAIME: Thank you for having me! I am excited to share!
ALLIE: I found Jaime through Instagram. We were both following and “Insta-stalking” each other, I think.
JAIME: Isn’t that how all good relationships start?
ALLIE: Exactly. A little bit of stalking.
Jaime is a hair & makeup professional and runs a blog, themachouseblog.com. You are amazing, lovely, and so skilled!
I had messaged you and said, “please help me!” Guys, Jaime sent me a list telling me, “here’s the best makeup for your skin type”, “suggestions for your struggles”. I literally just went to Sephora, or wherever I could get the makeup, and bought all the products.
It was a transformation. Immediately after that I started getting Instagram comments. “Wow, you must be eating so healthy!” “You’re glowing!”
You are just a wizard! We are super excited to have you!
Just tell us a little bit about you and your family first.
JAIME: I have a husband and four children, 10, 6, 2, & 6 months. So that is busy. I have been a hair and makeup artist for 12 or 13 years. I specialized in weddings, special events, photo shoots – all the fun stuff. It kept me busy for a while. I have slowed down on the events and have started to share my heart, makeup tips, and motherhood tips.
It’s nice being home. But hair & makeup is definitely my heart for sure.
ALLIE: When we were chatting before and deciding to do this episode, I was really encouraged that you shared my heart about feeling good, putting yourself together, and caring.
I don’t think it is really about being frumpy or unfrumpy. I think it is about how you feel and what that means for you.
When we were messaging back and forth and getting to know each other in that area, I felt really encouraged that you totally agreed with me. I feel my best when I am put together. But I don’t need to be fully made up every day.
All the little quick tips and tricks, knowing what my best is, and what you have showed me and helped me with, that made me feel so much better. I got way more confident.
Really, if you dive into it, my business started doing better. I have done more videos. Brian has all this professional equipment and it will pick up all your flaws. It is funny how I didn’t even realize it, but stepping out of the Target aisle and getting good things made me feel better. It is life changing.
Tell us a bit about your heart.
JAIME: I think it is always a difficult topic to talk about. You don’t want to seem like you are obsessing over your image or are being vain. It is especially hard when you do have kids, because most of your time is spent caring for your kids, home, and keeping everything up.
But I think that being an entrepreneur and having my business for so long, with doing hair & makeup for so many people, one of my favorite things was seeing the transformation of the before and after. From when I started with somebody, when they walked in the room, and then after I did their hair and makeup and they walked out of the room – it was two completely different people.
Models would show up. Exhausted moms would show up with their families for Christmas photo shoots for Christmas cards, etc. They come in with chocolate mocha on their outfits. It was just chaos. But then they would leave in a completely different mood. They would speak to their children differently. They carried themselves differently.
It really got me thinking about how that can translate into every day. Are we doing full hair & makeup every single day? No, not necessarily. But can we get in better rhythms and habits? Make ourselves our priority. Because if you are making yourself a priority and making yourself up a little bit, you feel better about yourself.
That translates into the rest of your day. Into how you speak to your husband. Into how you carry yourself. Into how productive you are that day. Into everything.
It may seem a bit silly talking about hair and makeup for yourself. But it makes a huge difference throughout the decisions in the rest of your day when you start your day off feeling good about yourself.
ALLIE: Absolutely. The fact that it does affect how you feel is fluid. Maybe you are someone who doesn’t really like makeup. Not that you don’t care, but you just don’t wear a lot of it. But just a little undereye concealer, a little powder…whatever makes you feel good. If it’s none; and its just taking care of your skin, doing something with your hair, and then leaving… then fine. It is totally adaptable to your style. Whatever makes you feel put together.
For me, I love feeling really put together. I have a lighter version of foundation for just normal days. And then I have the heavier Estee Lauder double wear for date night, a photo shoot. But it just depends on the day.
Its so funny, when you were saying that these women were coming in sluggish and worn down. It’s not like they took a vitamin or something. They are just sitting there. You changed their hair and skin and they started acting and mothering differently. I can totally pin down days where I was just braless, zit cream, messy bun with my bangs sticking up and somehow all of the sudden it is 1:00 pm and I am still in that place. You just feel like crap. You just don’t feel very good.
JAIME: It’s obviously going to be different for different people. I always say this and people laugh at me, but I am so much more productive when I put a bra on. If that’s the smallest detail that is going to make you feel better, then do that. There are little steps and little things that you can add to it, but it does make a HUGE difference. Put some tennis shoes on. Put a cute outfit on. It takes the same amount of energy to put a cute outfit on as it does to put on comfy sweats.
ALLIE: Exactly. I was a SAHM until a couple of years ago. We always say things like, “I have a job; I am working”, and then we don’t really treat it like it is. There’s a rhythm in place. It’s a mess. We don’t even get dressed. But it is a job. You are the CEO of your home. Show up for it.
I think it is hard to hear and upsets people sometimes, but it does make a difference when you are ready for your day.
JAIME: It does, for sure.
ALLIE: Having said that, share with us how to do it. What are some bottom-of-the-barrel, simplistic, tips for people who want to be a bit more put together but don’t know where to start or what to get.
JAIME: When you’re starting this off and you don’t have a rhythm every morning for putting your makeup on, you need to have your space for your stuff. A makeup bag. Or wherever you keep your stuff.
If you are dropping the kids off, and then you have a meeting, or Bible Study, you need something that is going to be functional, simple, that you can take with you. Something you put on the countertop, open up, and then put away. If your makeup is strewn all over the place, all messy, you are less likely to go to it and actually do it.
That’s my first tip is to have a cute little bag. Go to Target. They have cute little bags. Just start with your space.
As far as doing your makeup, it is going to depend. If you are a stay-at-home mom and you are not used to wearing makeup, you are definitely going to want to start with a lighter coverage. You can start with a tinted moisturizer.
Most moms are already putting lotion on their face, so why not use a tinted moisturizer that will adjust to your skin tone and make you feel a bit better. It will also give you spf protection. You are killing 3 or 4 birds with one stone. So I would say to start with a tinted moisturizer.
You only need a couple of products to brighten your face a little bit. Tinted moisturizer. A little bit of cheek color. Fill your brows in. That’s a huge thing. It really does frame your face. Some Chapstick or lip gloss.
It only takes a couple really simple pieces of makeup to make you feel completely different in the morning.
ALLIE: Can we link to some of your favorites that you are mentioning?
JAIME: If you go to my blog, themachouseblog.com, there is a search bar there. I am also in the process of creating The Beauty Guide, which is all my favorites in one spot. That way you are not having to search.
ALLIE: What about if someone wants a bit of color on their lips but doesn’t like lipstick. What do you say about that? I used to be like this. It’s funny how you notice the smallest things about someone and will ask. I totally get it. I used to hate having anything on my lips. Then as I got older and had scarring from acne, it looked weird to have makeup on.
Now, lip colors are my favorite thing to buy. But if someone doesn’t want to do lipstick, is there something lighter they could do instead?
JAIME: There are a ton of different companies that have a tinted chapstick. Burt’s Bees is actually a really great one. You can get that one at Target. That’s a good way to transition yourself from not wearing anything to giving yourself a bit of color. Its quick. You don’t have to look in the mirror. You can keep it in your purse, diaper bag, whatever.
I like to tell people to slowly transition. It is very difficult when you are in that season of being a SAHM and you are not used to getting ready, to all of the sudden you start wearing makeup and put lip color on. You don’t feel like yourself. If you go too far on that side, you feel uncomfortable on the other end.
So, you have to really find a way to stay in that middle ground where you are not empty-faced and feeling frumpy but you are not too done-up to where your kids walk in the room and are like, “Mom! What are you wearing?”
But I would say just start with a tinted chapstick. That makes a really big difference.
ALLIE: So, ok, that’s like our basic, mom-life days. What are your tips for when you are actually going somewhere? Maybe it’s date night, church, or something? For people who just don’t have a clue. Where is a good place to start for a nice evening out or something?
JAIME: So, switching from the everyday look to bumping it up a notch. Some things you and I had discussed is I recommend having two different foundations. I recommend a tinted moisturizer for your everyday look. Maybe in the summertime something really light and easy, then a heavier coverage foundation. People tend to shy away from heavier coverage foundations, but I really don’t. I would not be afraid of them because, number one, we are a mom and people are touching our face and it has to last throughout the day for you to feel good. You don’t want it wiping off everywhere.
When you are going out, you obviously want to look more done up. Having a little bit more coverage is going to cover more imperfections. When you put your foundation on your face, you are like, “Oh!” It’s just a nice, pretty, clean slate. You cut in a bit more color in the cheekbones. You can go a little bit darker with a bronzer. You can go a bit darker with a blush.
I always stick with neutrals. That’s kind of been my thing. Throughout doing all the hair and makeup, I have never really done crazy things. Neutrals go a long way. You can add a little bit of a darker shadow. But the two things that bump up the look on your face, are your cheeks and your lips.
Even if you have a really simple, clean face and you add a pop of color, you are ready for date night. It is super simple and makes a big difference.
Eyeliner is really good, too. But some people feel really uncomfortable with that when they start to get into makeup. But if you just pop some eyeliner right on the top that makes your eyes pop a bit more.
It’s small transitions from that every day look to starting to add a bit more color. Those little changes make a big difference in how you feel and getting ready for date night.
ALLIE: For sure. I think too, something that really helped me, was going with brown eyeliner was much less harsh. Just a little bit on the upper outer. My eyes are very small and I think it does a pretty good job of opening them up a little. Not black cat eyeliner. Just simplifying it helped. Now I will do black for date night.
JAIME: Exactly. That slow transition. Espresso. A really creamy espresso eyeliner makes a big difference. It’s a subtle change, not as harsh. Good for everyday wear. Then transitioning, once you want to start experimenting , to black. But Espresso is a great transitional color for sure.
ALLIE: Anything else you want to add for makeup? I think that’s pretty good to not overwhelm people.
JAMIE: I think that’s good. One thing I would say about brows is that people get very nervous about filling your eyebrows in. It definitely is trendier now to have bigger, thicker eyebrows.
For a lot of us, when it was trendy to have thinner ones, it was definitely a harder transition to let them grow in. I would say brows are really important because it does frame your face. I notice that when I don’t have my brows filled in, the bottom part of my face looks a little bit rounder, which makes me feel a bit chubbier. That sounds funny, but it makes sense.
Contouring is the huge thing, or at least it was for a while. The Kardashians brought in contouring and all that stuff, but we have always contoured. That’s what makeup does. It highlights and contours. If somebody has a really round face and you cut in some really nice color in that cheek, it is going to change the look on your face. You are going to feel slimmer and you are going to hold yourself differently.
Once you start getting more comfortable with it, I would say definitely play around with it. Eyebrows are good. Makeup can be a really good thing to make you feel better about the shape of your face. If you are carrying extra weight from postpartum baby, it makes you feel a lot better.
ALLIE: That’s funny because I was just thinking that I wished that I had found you when I was in my postpartum times. It is just the worst. I just recorded a guest episode with someone who does postpartum clothing. That is important. But my makeup always mattered so much because I would swell so much in pregnancy.
JAIME: Yeah, it’s hard. Your body goes through so many changes. If we can get five minutes in the morning for makeup, you can make that face look slimmer.
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ALLIE: What about hair? What are your tips for everyday, average, at-home hair stuff?
JAIME: Hair is tricky because obviously everyone has such different hair. It takes different amounts of time for everyone.
For me personally, I have got such thick hair. It is super curly in the back. It is straight in the front. It is so difficult.
If I could, I would get a blow dry once a week. But I just can’t. I have four kids. I work. So, I have learned that you do it in little bits. Kind of breaking it up.
If you have hair like mine, it’s rare that you are going have three hours in the morning to shower, blow dry your hair by yourself, curl your hair by yourself, do your makeup, get dressed. It’s just not going to happen, especially if you are a SAHM, or work, or have multiple children, or even one child. It’s just not going to happen.
I have learned that one thing that works for me is I plan it out. I break it out based off my week. So, I know that I am going to have a meeting on Monday, I can shower the night before. Let it air dry a little bit and then run the blow dryer through it with a round brush. Just to smooth it out. And then I am good. Takes me maybe fifteen minutes. Then the next morning, I take another ten minutes and I curl it a bit.
I don’t wash my hair every day. I don’t wash my hair every other day. I stretch it as long as I can. So dry shampoo is golden. Say if I curl my hair on Monday, I can just touch up the next 3 or 4 days. Little bits of curls and little bits of dry shampoo and that lasts me all week.
ALLIE: I am so glad that you said that! I have the same hair cycle. And people freak out, “you don’t wash it every day?” How dirty do you think I am?
JAIME: And you’re not supposed to wash it every day, either.
ALLIE: Yeah! I am convinced that’s what keeps my hair healthy, despite coloring it. Also, once you get that good base – you wash your hair and blow dry it – and it’s got that good base shape, I don’t want to mess it up until I have to.
I can go 4-5 days. And I will. It makes my life so much easier. To me, that’s my biggest secret for keeping myself put together, is that I don’t wash my hair every day. I am glad you said that. See guys! The professional says that is what you are supposed to do.
JAIME: Yes, you have to have some of the natural oils that your body creates to go through your hair to keep it moist and healthy. When you wash it too much, you are stripping it of the oils that were meant to be on it.
There are so many different ways you can extend that too. Say you’re hitting that point where the dry shampoo really isn’t working, you can throw a baseball cap on. This part is covered but the rest of your hair is curled a little bit. It looks pretty and no one has any idea.
ALLIE: Just to throw in a little separate tip from me on that, I actually really have it down. It’s kind of funny. Part of my job is to look put together most days. If I have an off day, it will mess up my work.
I have to do photos, live-streams, and I am kind of always in front of a camera in some way. Then my husband is vlogging, and I am like, “ok, thanks, I was having an off day.” I have a hair rhythm. I know I can go five days. On the 5th day I always have a hat on. On the first day, I always have it pulled back. It’s kind of weird on day 1.
And the days in between, it’s curled and done. It’s just a regular schedule. It’s something that I don’t have to think about. It’s rhythmatized just like my life. It is a lot. It’s time consuming. It’s a huge part of my life. It’s my head. And it has to be done almost every day because it’s my job.
JAIME: Yeah, and I think one thing you talk about a lot is decision fatigue. And I love that so much. I have so many conversations with so many moms that hair and makeup can be the same thing.
You don’t want to really think through, nor do you have the brain power as a mom, to think about what you’re going to look like that day. You just want to feel good.
You start to add those rhythms. Sunday night I am going to just shower and do a quick blow dry once the kids are in bed. It takes 15-20 minutes. The next morning, I am going to wake up 20 minutes earlier and just spend that time on myself. And then you know for the week that your hair is good. It removes the stress about getting ready when you are prepared and have those rhythms in place. It makes it so much easier to accomplish.
ALLIE: Yeah it does.
JAIME: Don’t over think it, you know?
ALLIE: I want to add two things. Number 1, for anyone who is thinking, “this is to much, I would never do that”, I need you to understand that you are worth this time. 15-20 minutes, you are worth so much more than that.
You need to give that to yourself. I understand that taking hours is just not realistic. But 15-20 minutes, come on. Fall into the rhythm of doing it at night when the kids are in bed.
I will say that I do that at night, my shower and blow dry is always the night before the week starts. Then I will make a ‘thing’ out of it – light candles, take a bath – make it a self-care rhythm for me. Then I will shower, exfoliate, do the blow dry. I will play a podcast, music, or an audiobook. Make it a thing and take care of yourself.
You can kill multiple birds with one stone in so many different ways. That’s where the decision fatigue thing comes in. You’re self-caring. You’re taking care of something that needs to get done anyway. It can be so easy.
ALLIE: I am putting you on the spot here, but do you have anything to say about doing your hair when you want to be put together? Do have any links to up-dos or anything like that?
JAIME: As far as content that I have brought out, I have a couple of videos that I have done. It’s really funny, because I am not a YouTuber. When I started hair and makeup, social media wasn’t a thing. I feel kind of old.
But I have put a couple of videos out there about how to curl your hair and a few other videos that we can link to. And there’s The Beauty Guide where I have all of that information in one place.
ALLIE: Great! I think that is really convenient that you are putting that together for moms. All that information in one place.
JAIME: I think too that when moms take that huge leap, to say, “I am going to get ready. I am going to take care of myself.” And then they go into Sephora and they are like, “ok, maybe not.” They wonder, “what do I use, what brand is good, how do I know what to get?”
It is very overwhelming if that’s the approach you take. The Beauty Guide will list brands and why I like these specific products for certain skin types. Why I like them and how I use them. That way they can go through and make their shopping list and just do it. Or even order online.
ALLIE: I can’t tell you how much weight that took off of me, when you did that for me. I felt empowered. I went straight there. I felt like you had done the hard part for me and all I had to do was make sure I was matched correctly.
ALLIE: It was super, super easy. I do want to say, though, I have been mismatched at Sephora so many times. Have them test a base swatch of your face and then go out to your car mirror. Literally, that’s what I did. I said, “watch my purse” and I went to my car.
JAIME: Sephora actually gives out samples. When you find a foundation that you like, or three foundations that you like, ask them to give you a sample. Take it home and wear it for three days. It is hard to step away from the Target aisle and spend $30 for a foundation.
ALLIE: But it is so worth it, especially for your foundation. I don’t want to spend $39 on a mascara that I feel doesn’t work as well as the Lash Booster. But I will go pricey on my skin and cheaper on my eyes.
JAIME: Exactly. There are a lot of ways to save money, but foundation is one I always invest in. It is definitely a product that you want to spend money. That is the glue for your face. That will hold everything else on your face. When you use a cheap foundation you start seeing all the running, wiping off.
There are less expensive products that you can do for your eyebrows. I have a $3 eyebrow powder that I love. It’s from Target. It’s E.L.F. There are ways that you can lessen the makeup bag costs.
ALLIE: Before we go, to wrap up, tell us a little bit more about The Beauty Guide.
JAIME: My hope is that this guide will underwhelm the process of doing your hair and makeup and making those selections in the store. I have had to spend thousands and thousands of dollars on makeup. Trying it on clients. Trying it on myself. What colors work? What stays? What doesn’t? What makeup brushes work? Which ones fall apart? I have spent a good amount of time and money finding out what works.
My hope is to translate those years and years of experience, and wasting a lot of money on makeup. I put a lot of that in this book. That way, you don’t have to stress over spending $35 on foundation and it be crap. Now you can go to the store empowered.
I have spent the money. I have spent the time. I have built the kit. I have done all that.
Now you will be able to go to this book and get answers. Here are the foundations that Jamie recommends & why. This is why she likes them. This is heavy coverage; this is light coverage. This is what season to use them in. This is what makeup brush to use and why. Why does she use a beauty blender.
It will be separated and segmented so you can do a quick look and find what you are looking for. It takes the huge, overwhelming thought process out of it. You can find what you like. Know that they work. Go pick them, do them and be done with it. Start your rhythm. Feel better. Get back to important things. Not that this isn’t important. I have the expertise and now I have just translated it for you guys.
ALLIE: It is important, but it is a side note. And that’s why I think many women let it go and don’t put the time in. I want you to know that what you are doing is so empowering. It is such a huge load off, especially for someone with so many kids and so much going on.
I do care about that area of my life. But I just don’t have the time. I don’t know where to go to look. And I definitely don’t want to waste money testing out products. Then you feel like it is better to stay at Target because then you are only wasting $13 instead of $40.
JAIME: I think a lot of guilt comes with motherhood. When you spend money on yourself, you feel so guilty sometimes. Everyone else needs shoes, or jammies, or other things. It is hard to start spending money on yourself. We do need to make ourselves a priority to make ourselves feel better. It is reassuring when you know that you’re not going to spend a bunch of money and waste it.
ALLIE: You can be confident that it’s good. Having the samples in case you don’t like it, helps. It is really empowering.
Thank you so much! You are a well of wisdom.
Connect with Jamie and find out more:
This was an episode of The Purpose Show. Thank you so much for tuning in. If you are ready to uplevel and really take action on the things I talk about on my show, head to alliecasazza.com for free downloads, courses, classes and to learn more about what the next step might look like for you. I am always rooting for you. See ya next time!