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Archives for April 2017

Morning Quiet Time Practices

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My morning time is everything. I couldn’t be the person I need to be for my family if I didn’t rise early and get a jump on the day.

I always feel a huge shift in my attitude and the tone of our day when I don’t get out of bed in time to be alone and get my stuff done. It’s kinda like dealing with a stomach ache after you make the choice to go off your healthy eating plan.

Unfortunately, just showing up for my early morning won’t cut it. It’s super easy to wake up and get out of bed. Believe it or not, the hard part is being intentional and not just staring into the eyes of my coffee until it’s time to serve everyone breakfast.

What really matters is how I spend that time- what am I going to do with this precious silence?

It really sucks to do the work of making time and waking up, and then not honor it by letting time go by without doing anything worth waking up early for.

I prefer to do things with my morning time that I can’t do or would be hard to do with the kids awake in the middle of our day. Quiet time is one of those things.

My quiet time usually consists of two or three of the following: reading my Bible, praying, taking a walk, writing in a journal, exercising, listening to worship music, or spending quality time with my hubby.

Quiet time, for me, is the time I get to sit in silence, reflect on what’s going on in my life, and spend time with God. Being a homeschooling mom of four means there isn’t much time for me to think, process things, reflect, or pray without a serious amount of background noise. It just is what it is- this is my season. So if what I need is quiet time, I have to work pretty hard to create it, and it is so worth it!

There have been seasons of my life in which daily quiet time just wasn’t a reality (sleepless nights spent rocking and breastfeeding one of my babies, pregnancy), but right now is not one of those seasons, and I really look forward to tending my soul before the sun wakes up. There’s something really soothing about this time I get to myself with my thoughts and my Savior.

My quiet time is separate from the other things I need to get done in the early morning hours. I don’t choose between my quiet time and working or my quiet time and my exercise time- it’s its own thing because it’s super important.

I have a lot of thoughts throughout the day- business ideas, family plans, homeschooling decisions to make, what to make for dinner, what should I do about my son’s terrible attitude lately, how can I tone my arms, why did I react the way I did yesterday in my marriage, what should I wear for date night next weekend… Usually the important and the mundane get jumbled and can easily overwhelm me and then just get lost in the busyness of life.

Journaling is a simple practice that helps me sort through them and get some clarity. I’ve always been a writer at heart. I kept journals as a kid all the way through my childhood and adolescent years. It’s so easy to get caught up and just go through the motions, letting ugly things like ingratitude and bitterness and overwhelm take root and grow before you even notice. Journaling gives me the gift of connecting with my heart and emotions as well as redirecting them where they need to go as I move through the seasons of life.

There have been so many times that I have been in a circumstance and through journaling, have realized how I really felt and been able to make calm, stable decisions in the midst of life’s craziest storms.

Writing out my thoughts as they are or thoughts focused on something in particular (like gratitude) is such an amazing way to start the day. Coupled with my Jesus time, I always feel focused and inspired and encouraged before my family even wakes up.

Life is crazy, and I’ve found that if I am not regularly focusing on what I’m grateful for, what God is doing in my life, and how I can be my best self in each season, I lose it. I am not the wife or mom I know I am called to be, and I don’t feel right. I’m off-center and cranky and can easily turn into a person I don’t want to be.

Here are some of my favorite morning time routines that help me start the day off right and stay focused on what matters in the middle of a very full life.

My Morning Quiet Time Practices

1) Prayer

I’m gonna be frank here… If I am not regularly giving God my time and seeking Him in all I do, I am just not a good person. I can’t give to my family the way I need to and my attitude generally sucks. I don’t have any kind of strict routine with this quiet time in the mornings. I just show up and invite the Holy Spirit to do the same, and He always does. I talk to Him about whatever is on my heart and He leads me to pray for whatever it needs to be that day.

Journaling is a large part of my prayer time. My thoughts too easily stray to something other than what needs prayer, but when I’m writing out the things I feel led to pray over, I stay focused.

2) Bible Reading

My Bible reading is usually led by the excerpt of the day from my favorite devotional book Streams in the Desert by LB Cowman. I start by reading the day’s devotional and then following the Scripture included and reading the entire chapter the given passage is found in. Sometimes I’ll read more than that, sometimes less. Sometimes I find myself in a random book of the Bible just reading what the Spirit led me to.

3) Gratitude Journal

I’m naturally kind of pessimistic, and I work really hard to fight that tendency! I find that I am so much happier and able to take on the chaos of life with grace and joy when I start the day focused on what I’m thankful for. I’m one of those people who can find something wrong in everything, and I feel like it’s my responsibility to actively counteract that part of myself. Have you ever read up on the effects gratitude has on a person? It’s absolutely astounding, and I’ve seen it actively working in my own life.

I set a timer for five minutes (borrowing from the popular idea of the five minute journal) and jot down whatever comes to mind that I am grateful for. I go beyond things like my family, a roof over my head, etc and really try to dive deep into the details. The smell of coffee on this extra groggy morning, my husband’s carpentry skills that provide beautiful handmade furniture…whatever comes to mind.

It starts the day on a very positive note and makes me feel so blessed when my kids come out for breakfast. It makes it very difficult to have a bad day when you start it out this way because the way you respond to other people is radically different than if you had woken up to tiny hands pulling on you and loud requests for breakfast.

Scroll to the bottom for details and an exclusive discount on this beautiful journal and others like it!

4) Affirmations

At one point in our life, my family was in a very dark place. I remember standing in our driveway, dirt poor, unsure of how we were going to have what we needed for dinner that night and saying the sentence, “I am extremely wealthy. I can pay my bills, live a full life, and have money leftover. God has given us wealth so that we can change the world and live out the gospel.”

Do you have any idea how stupid I felt on the inside saying that out loud with all we had going on in our reality? Very, very stupid. But we had dinner that night and we never didn’t have what we needed, and about two weeks after I began speaking provision and truth over our circumstances in Jesus’ name, we had a multiple five-figure bank account and that money consistently poured in from our business. I never doubted the power of my words again, and I started carrying this over into other areas of my life. The point is, our mouths are powerful, and they’re directly connected to our thoughts and our hearts.

“Death and life are in the power of the tongue.”

— Proverbs 18:21

Speaking truth and positive words over ourselves is one of the most powerful things we can do. By saying things out loud you’re shifting your mindset, and your actions follow your thoughts.

This is another thing that has earned a place in my morning practices. Every morning I take a walk and speak things over myself and my family and our life. It’s a very special time between me and my God of calling good things into action in His name and saying YES to all the amazing things He has for me.

Get my affirmations now!

5) Movement

I do not like to exercise. I downright hate it most days. What I do like is the way it makes me feel after I’m done, and that, coupled with the fact that I used to be very overweight and unhappy, is why I make it happen. I think people over complicate things like exercise and make it into a formula you have to follow for it to work, which I think is dumb and a great excuse to procrastinate. I prefer to just do it (oh hey, Nike).

I like yoga, and walking, and I’ll usually run a mile before heading into squats and push-ups, but I keep it simple. I go based off my mood and what I did yesterday. If I spent the previous morning running and doing push-ups, I’ll spend this morning doing yoga and tomorrow I’ll focus on squats and lunges. Some days I skip exercise, but I rarely let myself skip more than one morning in a row.

My biggest suggestion on bringing exercise into your mornings has already been said- keep it simple. Just do something.

This is my favorite workout of all time. And let me tell you from a place of much less cellulite than I used to have….it works.

6) Dawn Dates.

Now that Brian and I run the business together and his normal 9-5 (which was really more like a 6am-midnight. so glad to be done!), we have a lot of time together. What we quickly learned is that being physically near one another all day long does not mean that we actually spend time together. It’s harder than ever to talk during the day! Our family is big and loud and chaotic and our kids are literally always with us (#homeschooling). When Brian left his job, we immediately saw the need to dedicate a specific time of day to our marriage other than our date nights.

Our mornings have become about our marriage a couple days a week. We feel that since our relationship (aside from our individual relationships with God) is the foundation our family stands on, it’s important. We dedicate at least one morning per week (it usually ends up being two or three) to our relationship. We call these times our dawn dates. I know I know, we’re super annoying. But when it’s 5AM and you’d honestly rather sleep, you have to call it something cute.

Usually, on the days we’re going to have a dawn date, I shorten my personal quiet time to like five minutes or skip it altogether. Otherwise I’d be spending four hours of my morning in different variations of quiet time. Plus, our morning time prayer and conversations are so restoring for me, I don’t need much else.

We travel full-time, which means we live in a camper, so when our alarms go off, we either stay in bed and bring the coffee to us and talk there, or wrap up in sweatshirts and sit outside together. The kids know they are not allowed to make sounds if they can’t fall back to sleep or to come out and talk to us at all. House rules, yo.

We bring our Bibles and marriage journals and just share thoughts and emotions with each other regarding where we’re at in life or whatever’s going on. We pray together and for each other and read a passage of the Bible or a devotional. Then we just have a really relaxed time of talking and hanging out over coffee like people who actually like each other, because we do!

Sometimes you just need to get on the same page and talk things out, and it’s really refreshing. Other times one of us is angry or hurt and this time is spent working it out. Either way, this time is marked out each week and we both know it’s there for us and look forward to it.

I wish we had taken up this habit before he quit his job! It would’ve benefitted us so much during a season that was totally chaotic in a different way. You can do this whether your husband works a lot or a little, in person or via Facetime!

I tend to keep a marriage journal throughout the week even when we aren’t spending time together as a couple. Marriage is so emotional and tricky sometimes, and being a writer, I really enjoy writing out how I feel and what’s going on in our relationship- both amazing and difficult things.

Obviously, I’m a big believer in paying attention to your thoughts and emotions and keeping a journal (or three). I feel that as a busy mom it’s all too easy to neglect yourself and rarely look at what’s going on with you. That’s how you have a breakdown or become bitter and resentful- we don’t want that right??

Some of my favorite journals come from Val Marie Paper Co – they’re so beautiful! They’re the kind of journals that inspire you to use them, and she has a journal for each area of quiet time, which I love. Plus, I love supporting other small businesses, so this is a real win-win.

Val has kindly agreed to give an exclusive discount code to you beautiful mamas to help inspire you to be more intentional about your quiet time- a passion we both share. You can take $3.00 off each journal when you purchase three or more.

If you love these journals and you’d like to snag a deal on some of them, head to her website and enter code 3ORMORE at checkout.

Don’t forget to snag your free copy of my favorite morning affirmations!

Get my affirmations now!

Do you have any morning rhythms you look forward to? Share in the comments!

How To Set Yourself Up For A Successful Morning

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Waking up early has been one of the most life-changing practices I’ve ever taken up. I used to be such a night owl, staying up until one or two o’clock in the morning, soaking up the quiet. It’s so simple, but just like letting go of my clutter, changing my habits and rising early reshaped my entire life.

Knowing that I’ve knocked out the most important tasks on my list for the day, gotten my body moving, and had a cup of coffee in peace before the sun even wakes up gives me such a fantastic start to my day! When I’m not worrying about when I can fit in a trip to the gym or how I’m going to write that blog post all day, I’m able to relax and really be present for my family. When life happens and one of the kids gets sick, or someone needs me, I can be there and not be shuffling things around on my to do list in a panic because the biggest tasks are already done.

Waking early takes some serious discipline, but once I stuck it out for a few weeks it became something I don’t like not doing. When I sleep until my kids get me up, I start the day off with loud noises, tiny hands pulling on me, and demands for breakfast. I’m irritated, groggy, and usually pretty pissed off and the day just started. I know that if I push through the initial sleepiness and just wake up early, I can start the day in the peace and quiet of a house that’s still asleep and start my day with intent.

“She gets up while it is still night and provides food for her family”

— Proverbs 31:15

What kind of woman do you want to be? The kind who sets an example for her kids, wakes up for her family and starts the day well? Or the kind who lets the day happen to her and just rolls with it until she’s had her third cup of coffee?

If you’ve been complaining about how you “never have time” to workout, or be alone, or read, or pray, ask yourself what time you wake up. More often than not, the solution lies in the last hours you spend asleep.

If you want help with the actualities of learning to wake up early and how I made the change, read this and this. Oh, and this. 

Today I want to talk to you about how you can set yourself up for a successful morning. Because getting out of bed is one thing, but taking action and being productive is a whole other thing. It’s easy to wake up, climb out of bed and then just sit on the couch with our coffee and our Bible halfway stuck in whatever dream we were having thirty minutes ago. But that’s not worth waking up for, so we want to actually do what we got out of bed to do.

For me, it’s all about the night before.

If I go to bed one night, exhausted from the day, and I don’t prepare for the next morning, I always regret it. Sometimes I spend so much time trying to find my favorite workout pants that I end up wasting an hour and not getting my workout in.

When I find everything and prepare for my productive morning the night before, I eliminate my excuses and set myself up for success. It is so much easier to climb out of bed grab the pile of gym clothes on the dresser and head to the bathroom to change than it is to fumble around in the closet.

Before you can prepare the night before, you have to know what you’re going to be doing in the morning. This also really helps you have the drive you need to get up when the alarm goes off. What is it that you need to get done in peace, without kids interrupting you? Why are you going to wake up early? Are you going to blog? Get a workout in? Take a walk while you listen to a podcast? Meal prep? Don’t just answer with a task list. Look at the effects of having those tasks done will have on your life. How will it feel to know your meals are prepped and cooking for the week on Monday morning? How will you feel knowing you got a killer workout in and had coffee and Bible time before serving the kids breakfast? Focus on the impact, not the tasks.

5 Ways to Set Yourself Up For A Successful Morning the Night Before

1) Know your schedule.

Don’t just assume you’d never be physically able to wake up before 6:00. Plan it out, look ahead and know for sure you’re giving yourself enough time to get your stuff done. Say you have to be with your kids starting your family routine at 7:00 and you want to hit the gym and check your email beforehand. You’d need to wake up by 5:00 and be working out by 5:30 in order to have the time you need to finish your workout and check your email. Now you have your wake up time.

2) Lay out your stuff.

Let’s say you want to use your early morning time to work out and read for twenty minutes over a cup of coffee. Pick out your workout clothes and shoes, lay them out where you can easily grab them in your sleepy 5AM haze, and put your book or Bible or whatever you’ll be reading next to them. One other thing you’ll want to do is preset the coffee maker (with a timer if your machine has one). See how much easier you just made your morning? Now all you have to do is get out of bed and grab your stuff and head to the bathroom to change.

3) Prevent your biggest excuses.

I hear all kinds of reasons women have for not rising early, yet they want the perks so badly. Get over it! Push through, find a way! If you find yourself hitting the snooze button because you’re freezing and getting out of the covers is just too difficult, first reconsider your use of the word difficult, then do something about it. Have a thick wooly pair of socks ready to throw on, change the thermostat settings in your house, have a robe ready for you. If you find that you never hear your alarms, change them! Make them louder, put them closer to your face, set more of them, annoy yourself so badly that you absolutely have to wake up. Don’t let excuses keep you from doing great things and being a woman of intent and purpose. You’re better than that!

4) Tell your family.

You need support and respect. Talk to your kids about what you’re doing and why it’s important. Set strict rules and boundaries to make it happen. Follow through on them. If you’re married, talk to your husband about why you want to do this and how he can help. It’s not like you’re wanting to head out for a mani/pedi and catch a movie, you’re doing this so you can be a better mom. It matters.

5) Get your mind right.

So much of any habit change is mental. Don’t think of this as something that you’re “trying” to do or are “working towards”, think of it as something you ARE doing right now. If subconsciously you’re not really sure you’ll end up waking up and kicking ass tomorrow morning, you probably won’t. Another trick is to think about what will happen if you don’t wake up early. Look at how many crappy days you’ve had, look at how things are going for you right now. Do you really want it to stay that way? Go to bed at night imagining how you will feel if you woke up and got those pressing tasks crossed off your to do list before your kids come out for breakfast. Decide that you are going to do this and you will. Leave it up to chance or see if what I’m telling you will actually work and it won’t. Nothing will work unless you do.

How To Simplify Your Entire Life

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“If you don’t prioritize your life, someone else will.”

— Greg McKeown

One of my favorite things to say to an overwhelmed mama is this: you cannot be everything to everyone all at once. Simplify.

Minimalism has made such a massive impact in my life. After it took effect in my home it started spilling over into other areas of my life- my calendar, my to do list, my routines, my health, even my relationships and my beauty regimen. When you discover the beautiful effect of simple, the natural next step is to carry it over into everything you touch.

I learned how to bring the philosophy of less into my life the hard way- by overindulging in all the things, all the commitments, and then all the depression as a result. But there is one very straightforward way that you can simplify your entire life, and you can start right now. 

Ask yourself, “what is essential?”

The word essential means “absolutely necessary; extremely important” and it’s everything for those desperately seeking to simplify.

We are so good at stacking up unnecessaries in every area of our lives until there’s no more space for what matters most!

We say “I don’t have time for that” when what we really mean is “I have prioritized too many other things so that I don’t have the energy/space/desire to do that” or maybe it’s simply “that is not a priority right now.” It’s sad because if we really look at our life, most of us would likely find that the things we’re saying we don’t have time for are the things (or people) that should be non-negotiables.

I don’t mean to just dish out a bunch of tough love here while I stand on a pulpit. I’m so guilty of a lack of priorities and have to constantly remind myself. I’m growing, learning, and getting better, so we’re in this together, k?

In his book, Tim Ferriss talks about deciding what will get done by imagining you have a gun to your head and can only do what is absolutely vital. It’s blunt (my kinda guy) but it gets you thinking. If you had to choose what was absolutely crucial, HAD to get done, what would it be? Isn’t it kinda silly to prioritize anything else? All the rest can get done later, but some things can’t, so those things should take up the best time of our day. Those things should take up our space, not the stuff that doesn’t make us feel alive or keep our families functioning.

This is essentialism.

Let’s say you’re overwhelmed every time you walk into your kitchen. You hate cooking because it leads to washing a hundred dishes and takes all night. If you were to walk in there, look at your dishes and cookware and ask, “what is essential?”

How much would you feel able to let go of? You’d see that four different sets of dishes is certainly not essential. Actually, only one plate per person in your family is truly essential. You’d see that you don’t really need all those pots and pans, rather, just the four you use every time you make a meal. The others are just there because you bought them and because everyone else seems to have that many pots and pans.

You’d end up with less dishes to wash, more time on your hands, and a newfound love for being in your low-maintenance, uncluttered kitchen. I know this because it’s what I did in my own home and what I help thousands of other women do in their homes in every room, every nook and cranny through my online decluttering course.

Let’s say you feel overwhelmed and reluctant every time Sunday night rolls around. You know another week is starting whether you like it or not. I don’t believe that living for the weekend is abundant life- I think that sucks. I want to be present and feel purpose and joy in the week because that’s when the bulk of our lives our lived (five days versus a two day weekend). Memories are made in the day-to-day stuff, and I don’t want my kids to remember me going through the motions while I was focused on the coming weekend. So let’s say you find yourself feeling super overwhelmed and unhappy every time a new week is about to start.

Ask yourself, “what is essential?”

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Look at your calendar. Is it essential that you say “yes” to every single one of these commitments? Are you maybe feeling reluctant because you feel taken advantage of? Like your time isn’t your own because deep down you wish you didn’t have to do all the things you’re doing? That’s on you, girl. Get real with yourself, learn to say no, and re-evaluate what you’re filling your calendar with.

This isn’t to say that every day is full of rainbows and butterflies and you never have to do anything you dislike, but it is to say that you’re in charge of your life and no one else cares that you’re feeling reluctant right before every Monday rolls around, so if you don’t like the way things are going, change it. How can you simplify the clutter of your schedule? Are you doing way too much at home? Maybe you need to start laying down some rules and boundaries with the people who share your roof so you’re not playing the part of the maid. Are you saying “yes” to too many things out of obligation? Learn to say no more often.

So how can we apply essentialism to the specific areas of our mom lives? Let’s talk through the main areas of our lives and work it out together.

Self-care

What do you need in your week that falls under the category of self-care? Don’t overthink here. Most of us aren’t doing a dang thing to take care of ourselves on a weekly basis, so just focus on adding one simple thing. For example, coffee with a friend. If you added that one small thing to your week, every single week, I bet you’d look forward to it and leave that coffee date feeling refreshed and like your perspective on life is better. Know yourself. Are you an introvert (restored and energized by being alone) or an extrovert (restored and energized by being with other people)? Maybe your self-care will look like a simple weekly walk by yourself – time to reflect and be restored by the quiet. Choose something that speaks to who you are and is actually adding to your life, not taking from it.

Home

This is the area most of us feel is a crazy mess of all different colored scribbles. It’s so chaotic we don’t even know where to start, so we just avoid it and go take a nap. Don’t overthink it, mama. We’ve got this. Look, it is totally unnecessary and non-essential that you are cleaning up all day every day and the house is still barely ready for company to come over. When you have too much stuff, that’s how your days will end up going. You need to declutter. What takes up your space takes up your time, so less stuff in your space means more time in your day.

Ready to go all in and ditch survival mode for good?

My decluttering course has helped thousands of moms all over the world simplify their homes so they can focus on what matters most. 

 

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Where do you start when you’re already overwhelmed and short on time? Look at your day. What area of your house do you see sucking up the bulk of your time? That’s a great place to start. For me, it was the kids’ toys. They were everywhere all the time and not even really being played with (more so just dumped out). Once I purged and got intentional about what toys deserved to take up space and aligned with the imaginative childhood I wanted my kids to have, I instantly created more time and space for myself. This gave me momentum to keep going into other areas and more time to tackle more decluttering!

Calendar

There are some things we need to do that aren’t our favorite, I get that. But there are also things we can totally remove from our plates that we are doing out of plain old obligation or guilt. This is not time well spent! We don’t get that much time and our season of raising our babies is pretty short, so we need to be more intentional about how we dish out these sweet minutes we get! When you’re unsure of whether to keep or kick a commitment or event on your calendar, ask yourself some questions to uncover how you really feel.

1) Is this event in line with my purpose in life?

2) Why do I feel like I need to do this? (be honest, yo)

3) Is this an obligation or something that truly needs to be done by me?

Relationships

Outside of our immediate family (husband and kids) most of us still have lots of other relationships- friendships, relatives, coworkers, etc. People are usually not shy about taking your time and energy and again, no one is going to make sure you’re prioritizing your life in a healthful way. That’s on you. Just because someone is in your life forever by relation doesn’t mean they have a right to your energy and time. Got that? Read it again and let it sink in. Okay, moving on…

Look at the relationships you are currently spending time and energy on. Are any of them with vampires? Some people just suck the life out of you and leave you drained and empty. Those are not the kind of people you need to be spending your time on. What is essential here? It is essential that you have enough energy to fulfill your role as a wife and mama. That should be the focus, not being polite and obligated to these other people who are obviously not good for you. So it’s time again to get real with yourself. Do you need to take care of yourself by getting some professional help via an awesome therapist to work out whatever ish inside you is making you crazy around this person? Do you need to distance yourself from that person whenever possible? If this is making you feel things because you know you have situations like this in your life, read this book now. 

Health

Few areas are as over complicated as health and wellness. It’s a billion dollar industry, and I believe part of that is because people like to procrastinate doing hard things by convincing themselves they need further help preparing to do it. What I mean by that is, people want the result but they don’t want to start doing the actual work, so they spend all this time hiring coaches, buying and reading books on all these different ways to get healthy, rather than just doing what everybody knows- eat clean and move more. So simple!

My hope for those of you who have read to the end of this post is that you feel inspired, not defeated. I hope you see how simplified each area of life can be if you just change the way you’ve been thinking!

I like what Marie Forleo says. “Everything is figureoutable.”

I don’t want you to feel overwhelmed by your desire to simplify, I want you to understand how to apply essentialism to your mom life and feel invigorated by how much sweeter life can be for you, right now!

Don’t be stressed about how to live this out. Just start.

Open your eyes. Where is there too much going on? What in your life has you feeling completely depleted? If your answer is an exasperated, “everything!” Then just pick one thing. Start. Simplify. Cut back. Choose less. Say no to something. You CAN do this, and it IS worth the effort!

How can you apply essentialism and the art of simple to your life? Where have you already implemented this or where are you excited to start? Share with me in the comments!

Ready to simplify? Get your free minimalism starter kit now!

heck yes! send me my kit!