Hi, friends. Welcome back to the Purpose Show podcast. Today, we are talking about setting goals and more than that, setting the right goals specifically to the way your subconscious mind works and how to work with the programming that you want to program into your subconscious mind and how to really work against the programming that you currently have that is probably not serving you. Before we get into it, I just want to make a note on goal setting. I’ve mentioned this before on social media and in the collective, and so I just wanted to get really clear about when I say goal setting, a big reason that I’m even saying setting the right goals, goal setting, blah, blah, blah, is just because that is the term that is super common. And I want you to recognize what we’re going to be discussing in this episode. But I do want to say and repeat, I do not like and do not recommend traditional goal setting at all. When I started my Becoming Her journey, and I saw just how it shifted me so quickly, And without willpower, without having to like rely on motivation or like have like all this strength and discipline, like of course discipline is important and I like to balance that, but the becoming her process that I figured out for myself and that I now teach as in my method, It is just not traditional goal setting at all. It is so much better. And so I say a lot, like, I’m never going to set goals again. And that’s what I mean. That’s what I’m talking about. So in this episode, what we’re talking about today is different than that. When you want to get somewhere, you need clarity about where it is that you want to go, right? When you are getting in your car and you’re going to go to a destination, you’re road tripping, you put in the map what your address is, what the location is, right? And that’s the goal to get there. So you need clarity about where it is you want to go so that you can see the path to get there, right? You need clarity on what you want to change in your life, what you want to happen. So when I talk about goal setting in this episode, that is what I’m talking about, like the literal act of setting the goal, not the process of getting to it. The process of getting to it for me now, is much more about identity work, self-concept work, subconscious mind reprogramming, visualization, using the power of your imagination, because that’s how your subconscious mind gives and receives messages, and you are acting out of your programming, completely. Your subconscious mind is not a mind at all. According to psycho-cybernetics, it is actually a computer, and computers operate purely off of how they are programmed. Your subconscious mind is acting like that computer. It doesn’t know if something, if programming is helpful or unhelpful or good or bad. It is just the programming. So if you want to change the results you’re getting, if you want to change your habits, if you want to change how things are going in your life and change yourself, you need to deprogram out what you don’t want and program in what you do want. This is what I do. There’s something called neural energetic wiring. I do these consultations. I’ll put the link in show notes. You can also click the link in my bio on Instagram. It’s there. There are consultations where we just like, it’s like $99, and we just sit and like, I ask certain questions and I do a process with you that shows me your basic subconscious programming as it relates to what you’re struggling with, what you don’t want anymore, and what you do want. I just really wanted to get clear about that in terms of goal setting because I just don’t fuck with goal setting anymore. The traditional way of doing things, like just reverse engineering and relying on motivation, there is no need for that. You do not need to baby step your way and wait all this time to like have the version of yourself you want to be, to have the life you want, you can actually embody it and use the universal laws and use the subconscious mind and how it works to have it now and call it to you much quicker. So we’re not doing traditional goal setting. We’re not reaching what we want through strength, willpower, discipline. We are getting clear on what we want, and we are making it a goal in that regard. But that very act is so often done incorrectly, and so it’s like, You’re starting out on the wrong foot from the get-go. So that’s what I want to address today. And we’re fixing that today. So I’m going to tell you exactly what to do and how to do it. So let’s get into it. So there are two types of goals, okay? There are goals that people tend to make, like they’re very like, this is what I want, and that’s fine. But the way they’re going about it, like I mentioned, is not dealing with their programming. It’s not dealing with their self-concept and how they identify with themselves and who they really are at an identity core subconscious mind programming level, okay? And then there’s another kind of goal that people tend to speak out a lot. So when you’re just having a conversation with your partner or a friend and you’re just talking about what you want, it’s so often formed in what’s called an away-motivated goal. So this is focused on what you do not want. It’s what you don’t want any more of. And you really like are like, I just don’t want to feel this way anymore. I just don’t want to be overweight anymore. I just don’t want to be messy anymore. I just don’t want to whatever. And you talk about it and you really give a lot of energy to to what you don’t want anymore, and that is called an away-motivated goal. So what happens here is you are so clear on what you don’t want anymore, and you’re focusing on it so much, and you’re giving it so much energy, that you actually lack clarity around the desired outcome, like what you actually do want, how you want to look, how you want to feel. And so you’re also giving so much focus and attention to what you don’t want and where The law of increase says that where you place your focus, you’re going to get more of that. It’s going to expand. So you’re actually creating more of the being overweight, of the being messy, of feeling like a disaster, of not having your ideal partner in your life, of whatever it is. So the second type of goal is called a toward motivated goal. This is focused on what you do want and not only that but it’s super clear and specific. So sometimes we are just naturally more clear on the negative. We’re naturally just clearer on what we do not want to fuck with anymore. We just are done with this. We don’t want it anymore. And it’s really easy for some of us to think about that and get clear on that. And it can be more difficult to get clear on what we do want, especially if you are the kind of person that maybe has a history or some programming around, like, it’s selfish to get what you want, or, like, you can’t have that, or whatever it might be. It might be hard for you to, like, kind of tap into your desires because you’ve been so disconnected from yourself and you’ve been so disconnected from what might feel good to you. So you can start with an away-motivated goal. You can start by like, okay, I don’t want to be messy anymore. OK, so what’s the opposite of being messy? Well, it’s being organized. So you want to be organized. What do you want to be organized with? You can just be like everything. Be specific. Break it down. I want to be organized with my day. So OK, let’s forget the house. Let’s forget the schedule. And let’s just focus on being organized with your day, starting with tomorrow. And let’s create a blueprint for that day and make that a goal of having the day go this way. And then we can take the next day and the next day And you can imagine and embody the version of yourself that’s having these days go like this where it’s not so messy. So you can start with, in a way, a motivated goal, but don’t stay there and don’t give it any more energy. After you use it to get the toward motivated goal, the desired outcome, and you get really clear on it, Detach from the away motivated goal. Detach from what you don’t want anymore and stop giving your attention to it. Your attention is so powerful. Remove attention from what you don’t want anymore. I’m doing this in my life right now. Remove your attention from what is a shit show, what is not going the way you want. Literally stop giving it energy. Look how fat his back is. His breathing. Okay, sorry. Okay. So what you wanna place your attention on is the toward motivated goal, the desired outcome, the desired body, the desired lifestyle, the desired amount of money, the desired business, the desired relationship, whatever it is, okay? Now, I wanna talk about the subconscious mind for a second here. Your subconscious mind labels everything that is familiar as safe. So even if something is actually not safe, like, something traumatic, something chaotic, something that’s actually really not good for you. If it is familiar to you, your subconscious mind can label it as, we’re safe, we’re comfortable, we’re used to this. Even if you’re in fight or flight, even if you’re in your sympathetic nervous system, your central nervous system is really dysregulated, your subconscious mind is just familiar with this. So you’re gonna tend to draw those things to you more. Whatever is unfamiliar, your subconscious mind automatically labels that as unsafe. It’ll be like, no, unsafe, sabotage it, get it away from it, get us away from this, this is not what we do, no, block. Okay, so this is one of the reasons why when you know what you need to do to get to where you wanna go and how you wanna feel, whatever, You don’t do it, because your subconscious mind is literally like, no, that doesn’t work for us. We don’t do that. We don’t eat like that. We don’t get good sleep. We don’t hydrate. We don’t go to the gym every day. We don’t do that. And so it’s literally blocking the behavior to keep you safe, because familiar equals safe. So if you want to make these changes, you’re going to have to do it at a subconscious level. You’re going to have to reprogram. And you’re going to have to get out of your comfort zone very intentionally and consciously to program the subconscious and impress new familiarities on your subconscious mind to expand your comfort zone and really program in that this is safe. This is who we are now. I have to fix this. Hold on. To help this happen, there’s a lot of things like using your imagination, visualization. This is why I have the Becoming Her Daily Ritual. And I’m always telling you guys, do these five things for at least five minutes a day. It’s 25 minutes total. It’s going to be reprogramming you. It’s going to help you focus on the toward motivated goal. And it’s going to help you get to that point from a subconscious level. so that you’re not just like, oh, Ali said I have to get out of my comfort zone, so I’m going to go to the gym every day and just tell my subconscious mind that it’s safe to do that. Because you’re still relying on willpower. You’re still relying on basic goal setting, and you’re just trying from your willpower to get out of your comfort zone and make yourself go to the gym. But eventually, that’s going to run out, and you’re going to stop going because you’re not reprogramming. The real work, I know it’s hard for some people, and it sometimes doesn’t make a ton of sense, but the real work in changing even things that take physical action is internal. It is mental. It’s subconscious reprogramming. It’s the imagination. It’s the visualization. It’s tapping EFT. It’s scripting. It’s these other things that I’m teaching you. That is where the real work happens. That is what actually makes the change happen. Can you get some behind the scenes shots like every time I do an episode, please? OK. OK. Let’s do a couple of examples. Let’s take a very common goal, a fitness goal, and we’ll use as an example. So imagine that you’re someone who has never consistently worked out before, OK? In your programming, you do not think about going to the gym. You don’t think about moving your body regularly. You don’t think about any of that on a normal basis. You only have been thinking how you don’t like this about your body. You don’t like the way you feel. You notice how this person looks. You wish you looked more like that. And you’ve been very focused on the away-motivated goal, right? And we want to shift that to the toward-motivated goal so that you are focused on the desired outcome. You have clarity on what it is and you are super, super fucking clear and can begin to reprogram your subconscious mind to like, this is who we are going to be now. So let’s say you set a goal and you’re like, I’m going to go to the gym five days a week. But within the first week, like I said, you find yourself making excuses to skip workouts. You might even manifest physical illness. Literally, your mind is going to be like, I have to help her not do this because it’s not safe. This is not who we are. This is not part of the programming. So it might speak to yourselves and be like, we’re going to get a fever tomorrow. We can’t go to the gym. Is this like ringing bells? Has this happened for you guys? Because this is how it works. So it’s so freeing to have the explanation of this, I feel like. So you’re going to eventually stop going to the gym altogether, right? Because it’s just, it’s simply not a part of who you are. It’s not a part of your programming. So again, to your subconscious mind, to your subconscious computer, right? Regular exercise is unfamiliar and is therefore unsafe. It’s outside your comfort zone. It’s unfamiliar. Your mind starts to sabotage your efforts to bring you back to what it knows. Comfort, staying at home, avoiding physical exertion and any discomfort that might come with that. So to overcome this in this example, Start by impressing the idea of being active as a new normal onto your subconscious mind. So instead of jumping straight into going to the gym five days a week, start with smaller steps to gradually make this more familiar for your subconscious mind. So for example, maybe you start with 10 minutes of going for a walk every day, or a really short home workout, or getting a walking pad from Amazon and doing that while you watch a show at night. And beginning to imagine yourself every day for just a few minutes, this is the kind of person that I am. See yourself going to the gym. See yourself going to Pilates. See yourself changing, toning up, shifting, releasing that excess fat, becoming a physical version of yourself that serves you, that you love and admire, that you feel so good and you’re glowing, see yourself. And more than just the results, see yourself doing the things. Visualize going to the gym. There are so many studies that show that imagining yourself doing something activates the muscles just as much as actually doing the things. So there are stories and studies done where people are imagining themselves getting really good at golf or surfing or some physical skill, and they see it. They see themselves getting good at it. They see themselves doing the perfect swing, catching the perfect wave, and it literally activates the muscles to become Like, OK, this is how we have to activate to do this. She wants to do this. This is important. So we’re going to begin to activate these parts of the body. So literally, when you go to surf, you go to the golf course, it’s like you’ve already done it. You can do this with getting comfortable with speaking. You can do this getting comfortable on social media. You can do this with dating. You can do this with anything. So over time, you are showing your subconscious mind this is normal. This is familiar. And then you’re doing little steps, and eventually, you get to the point where going to the gym is a normal part of your day. It’s literally a part of your identity and how you perceive yourself. It’s your programming, so of course you go. A healthy person doesn’t have to think, oh, shit, I really want to get this on the menu, but I’m going to make myself get it. They just naturally are like, oh, that sounds really good. That looks good. Oh, that fits in with what I want. OK, I’m going to get that. So it’s because of the programming. So I’m hoping that makes sense. Let’s use another example. Let’s say that you have a career advancement goal. So let’s say you have a goal to apply for a promotion at work. And this goal is really exciting, but it’s also really scary because you’ve never been in a leadership position, and it would mean making more money than you’ve ever made. So as you start preparing your application, you suddenly find yourself procrastinating. Suddenly, your computer stops working. You start doubting in yourself, doubting your abilities. Maybe you even convince yourself you’re not ready yet and talk yourself out of it. These are signs that your subconscious mind is trying to protect you. It’s labeled this as unfamiliar and unsafe, and it’s trying to keep you in your comfort zone. Your subconscious mind is, remember, it’s a computer, and it’s programmed to keep you alive and safe. It’s not programmed for your growth. You have to program it for your evolvement. So leadership, more money, greater responsibility, these are all unfamiliar. So your mind labels as unsafe and then triggers the self-sabotage to help you, even though it’s not. So to counter this, you need to begin imagining and familiarizing your subconscious mind with the idea of being in a leadership role. You need to see yourself doing a good job. You need to see yourself talking to a team of people that’s under you and feeling good and doing a good job at that. You need to see yourself receiving the higher paycheck. See the money in your bank account. Hear the sound of your boss telling you you got the job. You need to see yourself in this role and imagine it, visualize it, and imprint familiarity. This is how you get out of your comfort zone and expand what your comfort zone is even made up of, is seeing it, imagination, visualizing it. Then you can start by taking on some smaller things, like taking on a few new responsibilities with your current role. seeking out mentorship, hiring a mindset coach, practicing decision-making in low-stakes environments, just being more assertive, and ask your higher self for guidance on how can I flex this muscle? How can I practice this while I’m imagining it and imprinting this on my mind? But by gradually exposing yourself to these leadership experiences, and by gradually visualizing yourself becoming this version of yourself, you are creating a sense of familiarity, and your brain is feeling safer and safer. So by the time it comes to where you’re going to ask for the promotion, you’re going to go for the job, it’s like you already have it, and it almost feels weird that you don’t. And that’s when you get it. So your subconscious is going to start to accept the idea that you’re ready for this promotion. You already know what to do. You’ve got it. It makes the goal less intimidating. And again, it almost starts to feel weird that you don’t already have it. It just makes it so much more achievable because this is simply how the subconscious mind works. So you can do it the way you’ve been doing it and exhausting yourself and maybe not make things happen, or you can work with what you’ve needed the whole time. Okay, so there is a worksheet on what I’m about to go through with you inside of the collective. So if you are a member, go get that. If you’re not a member, at least go get the Becoming Her blueprint. It is a full breakdown of my signature method. How do you shift? How do you become the next level version of yourself? There’s a video. It’s incredibly packed and helpful. And then a really loaded PDF with like resources and links and all kinds of good stuff. Go to aliexpress.com slash TPS links, and I will link to the blueprint for you so you can snag that. And then if you’re in the collective, go get the goal, the setting the right goals worksheet. It’s going to expand on this for you. So let’s get into the action steps. OK, for setting the right kind of goals, the first thing you need to do is shift your mindset on goal setting itself. So we really need to detach from traditional goal setting. We need to let that shit go. The traditional methods that rely on your willpower, on your discipline, on your focus, on your motivation, they don’t work. They don’t work. Yelling at yourself, screaming at yourself, listening to podcasts and audiobooks where they’re like CrossFit coach yelling at you to like get up and do the thing, and it doesn’t work. And especially if you’re listening to this and you are a woman, you are literally not made to work like that. You need to rewire. And even those people, I think of some really high-powered, high-level authors and coaches that have that approach, even them, they rewired their subconscious mind. They just don’t realize that’s what they did. And if they do realize it, they think that they can get you to do it by doing the same thing they did for themselves, and that doesn’t work for everyone. So we really want to let go of that old way. and really learn to be softer with yourself. And let’s work with our subconscious mind, since that’s what we’re operating out of anyway. It’s smarter, it’s better, it’s faster, and it’s effective. So really just embracing this new approach and focusing on, like I said, the toward motivated goal. What’s the clarity and intentionality about what you truly want? And that brings me to the next point. You do need to get super clear on what you want. And you need to be specific. So instead of saying, I want to make more money in my business, make the goal, I want to have 500 members in my membership. I would even say, like I always tell my clients, you need to go a step further and you need to give it a deadline. So by the end of November 2024, I want to have 500 members in my membership. I want to have three new clients that paid in full and two clients that are on a payment plan. Get really specific. It’s not enough to just say, I want to lose weight. You need to say, what’s the number? What’s the pant size? How are you going to feel? You need to get really specific. And take time to really deeply reflect on the change you want to see in your life and getting really clear about, what will that look like? How will you know you have it? You’ll see the 500 members. You’ll see the client’s contract signed and the money sitting in your bank account. You’ll see that number on the scale or whatever it is. The next step is to identify and then move away from any away motivated goals. So recognize if you are talking a lot, thinking a lot, focusing a lot on goals that are driven by what you don’t want. I don’t want to be broke. I’m sick of this. I don’t want to feel unhappy anymore. I don’t want to be overweight anymore. And then really gain an understanding that these away-motivated goals are lacking clarity and literally calling to you more of what you don’t want. This is how you get in a cycle of manifesting more wanting what you have instead of having what you want. Okay? Or did I say that right? You get in a cycle of manifesting wanting. You manifest more wanting instead of having. That’s what I meant to say. So the next step in this is setting toward motivated goals. So focusing, like I said, on what you want to achieve, ensuring that your goals are very clear, positive, specific. I want to have 500 members. I want to have five new clients that paid in full by the end of this date. Define the desired outcome and define it in vivid detail. Like I said, how are you going to know that you have it? How are you going to know? What are you going to see? What are you going to feel? What are you going to hear? Maybe you hear the PayPal notifications on your phone. Maybe you hear compliments from other people about how healthy you look. What is it going to be? One of my favorite questions to ask myself and to bring into my client calls is, What are the daily routines and habits that would make your dreams inevitable? I have this written on my mirror and I look at it every single day and I think about it. What are the daily habits and routines that would make this goal absolutely inevitable? Can you imagine that? Play that video in your head and see it. Let it become familiar with your subconscious mind and then embody that as you go through your regular day. And then also, you want to align your goals with your vision. So make sure that your goals align with a broader vision for your life. They need to be contributing to the overall direction you want to go in. Don’t set goals. Basically, this is like don’t set goals for what you think you should do. You think you should be thinner. You think you should be richer. But do you actually want that? Really checking in with yourself. Is this actually the direction you want to go in in your life? Keep your goals connected to your true self, connected to your higher self. And this is why in the Becoming Her method, phase one is making that connection with your higher self. Like I will literally walk you through a very powerful, almost like hypnosis, where you meet her and you connect with her. You spend time in her energy and you are literally with her. Because you have to have that as kind of like a baseline for what it is you really want and where you should be going. So without that, it’s really difficult to get clarity. So if you’re in the collective, go in the left-hand menu and click on the method and go through it. The hypnosis is in there. Okay. And then again, you need to begin to regularly practice visualizing your desired outcome on a regular basis, at least five minutes a day of just imagining this being your reality, imagining the goal that you’re currently focused on. And you can do multiple goals at once, but definitely spend like five minutes on each one. So making it a daily practice, like the Becoming Her daily ritual, to visualize your goals as already achieved, feeling the emotions and experiencing in your mind the reality of that success, the reality of that change having happened. Using the visualization to really reinforce your commitment and keep your subconscious mind focused on having that. This is who we are now. This is familiar. This is safe. We’re getting more and more familiar. It’s feeling more and more safe. The more you experience something in your mind, the quicker you’ll experience it in your reality. From here, you’re going to be naturally and intuitively led to take what’s called inspired action. Your reticular activating system acts as a filter. So it notices what you’re thinking about a lot, decisions that you make, what’s important to you right now. And it’s going to filter all the millions and billions of bits of information you’re taking in, your subconscious mind is taking in at every given moment of the day. It’s going to filter it according to those things. So if you’re visualizing being healthy, being fit, your reticular activating system is going to naturally help you notice, oh, look, there’s a snack idea. That would be really good. That would align with me hitting this goal. or if your goal is to hit a certain level of money in your business, you’re going to be like, oh, that’s weird. I noticed that book on the shelf. And I’ve had that book. And it’s been there this whole time, but I just now noticed it. Because your reticular activating system is bringing the attention out to you because you just have been telling your subconscious mind that it’s important to you to grow your business right now. So visualization is not just like, oh, it’s woo-woo and manifesting. It’s literally fucking science. It’s literally telling your brain and all the different parts of cognitively and subconsciously and your reticular activating system, all of this It turns on for you to serve you because you’re shifting the programming. And that’s what I love about this. It’s just a fact. And we can take all the fluff and weirdness out of it and just like, this is how it works. And I have the superpower. I have the secret. And I’m changing my life, period, point blank, done. From there, not only is your RIS going to start to pull information and things that you’re going to start to notice, you’re also going to start to get new ideas. You’re aligning yourself with the frequency of what you desire. So you’re going to start to get different ideas. You’re going to start to operate at a different level. You’re going to start to get downloads or random ideas in the shower or while you’re driving or while you’re falling asleep, whatever, that align with what you want. Write those down. That’s your next step. You’re not gonna have it all mapped out. This is why I hate traditional goal-setting. It makes you like try to know what to do. You only need to know the next step. You need to visualize having what you want and then just know the next step and that inspired action is going to hit you in that way. So take that inspired action. From there, The only thing that’s left to do, babe, is adjust and evolve as you go. So you’re staying flexible. You’re staying open to evolving your goals as you gain more information. You gain more insight. You think, oh, actually, you know what? I think I want 550, because then that gives me some cushion if anyone leaves the membership, or if anything happens, I have extra money. You’re going to grow and evolve, and your goals get to do that as well. And then, of course, regularly look at this. Assess it. Make sure it still aligns with your vision and make any adjustments that you need to continue to feel good and to continue to feel aligned with your higher self. You’re making that connection with your higher self. You’re upholding that connection. You’re keeping it strong. You’re doing the visualizations that I give you guys in the collective. You’re doing the guided meditations. You’re scripting. You’re tapping. You’re clearing your energy. You are aligning 25 minutes a day every day with this version of you. And it simply becomes your new programming. It simply becomes who you are. No motivation, no willpower, no strength required. And that’s the magic. So wrap this up. Let’s take the next action steps. If you are a member of the collective, go in there and search for setting the right goals worksheet so you can implement this more specifically. And then if you are not, please go get the blueprint, aliexpress.com slash TPS links. Go get the Becoming Her blueprint. It is going to give you a full breakdown of the method of the daily ritual, the 25 minutes a day. It’s really going to help you. And then you can join the collective when it opens next. I love you guys, and I’ll see you next time.