Style and clothing should make you feel good, right? It should make you feel confident and put together. But so many times we say “I don’t have time to pick out my outfits” or “I’ll just throw this on.” This leads to negative thinking about how we look and ultimately impacts how we feel. It doesn’t have to be this way! One of my biggest goals in life is to put an end to the mom-frumping thing! Just because you are a mama doesn’t mean you stop caring about yourself use it as an excuse to not care how you feel about your clothes. Getting dressed can be fun, simple and you can totally have a stellar style! Let’s dive in!
In This Episode Allie Discusses:
Understanding your season of life and what that means for your wardrobe.
Keys for dressing your shape, with your style in mind.
Her everyday style must haves (and she definitely shares all of them!)
Why it is super important for you to get rid of the things that don’t make you feel amazing.
Mentioned in this Episode:
Nellie Taft (Use code ALLIE15 for 15% off!)
Allie’s Courses (Use the code PURPOSESHOW for 10% off!)
All this talk about style and the core aspects of building a wardrobe that you love and that serves you cannot be done if your home is totally cluttered. Clutter gets in the way of you feeling the way you want to feel and you living the life that you want to live in all aspects. Especially when it comes to things that can feel ‘extra’ like getting dressed for the day and liking the way you look and feeling good. And that’s actually not an ‘extra’ – that should be a given – and for a lot of moms it’s just not.
Clutter is Step One to getting rid of all the stuff that’s in your way so that you can live a life like this. So you can feel good. So you can have some white space in your brain to even be thinking style and your wardrobe!
If all this talk about your closet is making you wish you were in a place where you could focus on this, maybe it’s time to declutter your home. This is the first step! Your Uncluttered Home is everything you need to get there!
Mom life. We are surrounded with the message that it’s the tired life. The no-time-for-myself life. The hard life. And while it is hard and full of lots of servitude, the idea that motherhood means a joyless life is something I am passionate about putting a stop to. I’m on a mission to help you stop counting down the minutes till bedtime, at least most days. I want you to stop cleaning up after your kid’s childhood and start being present for it. Start enjoying it. I believe in John 10:10 “that we are called to abundant life” and I know mothers are not excluded from that promise. Join me in conversations about simplicity, minimalism and lots of other good stuff that leads to a life of less for the sake of enjoying more in your motherhood. I’m Allie Casazza and this is The Purpose Show.
Mamas! I am so excited to be recording this! I have been wanting to talk about this for a long time. I have been begged to talk about it for even longer, which of course makes me even more excited to share it because I know that it’s something that you want.
We are going to talk about style. We’re going to talk about getting dressed and having simple, stellar style. Every Day Must-Haves! This is going to be a golden episode and I’ve got a few things I want to say before we dive in to these style must-haves.
First of all, one of my biggest goals in life is to put an end to the mom-frump thing. If you are a simple person and you don’t care, that is your prerogative. You go! You do you. As long as you feel good, who cares?
But more than almost anything, I hate when I hear women, moms, talking about getting dressed like it’s some extra thing. “Nobody has time for that,” or “I just threw this on.” They have this mentality of excuse making where it’s somehow okay that they don’t feel good.
Everybody has seasons where you’re not sleeping, you’ve got a newborn, you’re breastfeeding, whatever, and you just threw yourself together and we need to have grace for each other in those seasons. I absolutely had those times in my life. I had days where I had a nursing bra on, threw on a t-shirt that I didn’t know had breast milk stains on it, threw on some concealer in the car while I drove and got to mom’s group or the park day or whatever it was and just looked like a complete hot mess. And the only thing saving me being my oversized sunglasses to hide the bags under my eyes. I absolutely had those time. I am out of that season now.
But it’s not about that. It is about when you are using motherhood as an excuse to not care about yourself and to not feel like your best self.
Having said that, I’ve got to tell you, this episode is loaded! Loaded, loaded, loaded with my secret favorites after years of spending thousands of dollars finding the best of the best in my opinion.
I am a person who likes clothes. I do not do the capsule wardrobe thing, although I do have a very intentional, minimalist for me, wardrobe. The things that I have in my closet, I actually wear. They have a purpose. They serve me and my body very well. I have found what are good investments and what are not. I have bought and had to donate or give away a lot of pieces of clothing.
And so, the things listed in this episode are not random, cheap junk. They are my true favorites after lots of searching. They are the things that I’ve continued to buy when the originals wear out. They are the things I have come back to over and over because they’re that good. This is like Allie’s Faves.
Now let’s talk about dressing for your shape and how do you even dress yourself in the first place? I think that one of the biggest keys for how I live my life and how I dress is I balance dressing for my shape and dressing how I want to dress.
Dressing for your shape means knowing what shape and style of clothing look best on where your curves are or aren’t. Dressing how you want means never saying the phrase, “I can’t pull that off,” or “I wish I could pull that off,” or “I wish I could get away with wearing that,” and doing whatever you freaking want. Wear what you want!
I like to balance those two things. I don’t think that either one is the end-all/be-all. I don’t think that you should just wear what you want, whatever, it doesn’t matter, who cares, there’s nothing else to consider. Because you want to look your best, right?
But I also don’t think that you should think or say to yourself, “Okay, I need a dress for my shape and that means I can’t wear that.” Or “I have bad skin so I can’t wear that lip color,” or “I can’t do this.” I call BS on that. I think that we need to find the balance between dressing for our shape and dressing how we want, wearing what we want to wear.
Here’s an example. It actually is not a clothing example. I should have thought of a better one, but it’s lip color example. I used to love, love, love when women would wear a bold pop of color on their lips. I just thought it was so cute, so beautiful, but I believed that I couldn’t pull it off because I had really bad acne in the past and I have a lot of scars. And I just don’t have incredible lips or anything. I just thought because of those two things I couldn’t pull off a bold lip color. Total BS! I got rid of that belief. I bought a nice pop of pink lip color that went well with my skin tone and I nervously left the house the first day with it on. I could not count how many compliments were pouring in as I ran my errands, did my thing, went to mom’s group that day, everything that I did that day and it taught me a valuable lesson.
Find the balance between what works for you and what you want and run with that. Run with it. Own that. Own your shape. Own what you are. Own your size. Own your skin. Own it all. And balance between dressing for what works best for that and how you want to dress. What you want to put on your face and body. What you want to wear. Okay, so that’s Step 1.
Then next – I think it’s important to mention before we get into the style must-haves that you need to get rid of absolutely everything that doesn’t make you look and feel utterly amazing. Seriously. Just get rid of it now. Even if you can’t replace it right now because why bother holding onto it if it doesn’t make you feel amazing?
I hate when people are like, “Oh, I was just running out to Walmart and wearing this and it looked terrible on me. It looked so bad on my butt. I just ran out of the house in it to grab milk and of course I ran into so and so.” Why do you even have that if it makes your butt look awful and you know you don’t feel good in it? Why do you even have it then? Let it go.
I say this all the time and I mean it 100%. I absolutely love every single thing that I have from my pajamas to my activewear (that being what I work out in) to my fanciest speaking engagement outfit, I love it all. I feel amazing in it. Even the things that I wear around the house for a day of cooking and working on my laptop, I feel amazing. I love it. I love every single thing and I honestly can say that. I want you to get there too.
And I felt that way before… when we were really not doing well financially, so it’s not a budget thing. I mean, that definitely helps now, but I’ve always prioritized that and I’ve always felt that way. I mean, not always but since I learned these lessons in my life, you know, many years ago, I have lived this way and held that belief and stuck with it. You should love everything you own and you should feel amazing in it.
So, if something that you own doesn’t make you feel amazing…If your pajamas are gross, they don’t make you feel sexy, they don’t make you feel like ripping them off and getting it on with your hubby, they don’t make you feel super sexy, super good and ready for a great night’s sleep, if your loungewear doesn’t flatter you, make you feel super hot, cozy, and like a cute mom, get rid of it.
If your church clothes don’t make you feel beautiful and dressed up (I say ‘church clothes’ because that’s what I get dressed up for on the weekend because I don’t do a ton on the weekend.) Your date night outfits…oh, date night outfits…if you don’t even have date outfits – girl, no! You need to have what you need for the life you want to live that make you feel amazing. Okay? So, change that if that is not describing your life and your closet.
Okay, are you guys ready for the gold? (that’s me rubbing my hands together) Take a drink of water and we’re going to get into the gold.
My everyday style must-haves. What that means is the things that I wear on my typical days in my life. I’m a mom. I’ve got four kids. I work at home. I homeschool at home. I’m home a lot. But I also run a lot of errands. I also need to be put together most days because part of my job is to be on camera and sharing my life and the ins and outs with you guys on social media. So, I enjoy feeling put together day-to-day. I like showing up for my life.
When I was a stay-at-home mom, I liked showing up for that. I’m the CEO of my home and my family first, my company next. I like to show up for every single part of my role in my life. It doesn’t matter if you work outside the home or if you’re a stay-at-home mom or whatever it is, I think you should dress for your every day and I think you should show up for your life.
So, I’m sharing my everyday style must-haves for the way that I spend most of my days, which is pretty casual.
Okay. Above all else…number one on the list is 2-3 great bras. This is above all else. You can have the cutest outfits in the world, but if the girls ain’t sittin’ where they should be sittin’, it’s not going to look great and you’re not going to feel great. You’re going to look at a photo of yourself and be like, “Why are my kneecaps perked up? Oh, those aren’t my knee caps. Those are my breasts.” Get them up. Your boobs should sit in the middle of your upper arm. That’s kind of the rule, so if your bra isn’t keeping your boobs up that high, it’s not good.
I have had the worst experiences with bras ever. I have paid good money for a crappy bra. I have paid no money for a crappy bra. I have really experienced it all.
I was super, super skeptical to try…Have you guys heard of that company, Third Love? It’s like an online bra shopping. I was so skeptical because I was like, “How can I get the right bra size if I can’t try it on?” I just was really skeptical but I was so desperate and sick of Victoria Secret, sick of going to Nordstrom, going to Target. I’ve tried everything – higher end and lower end – and I just always had the back fat digging in, crappy bras. They would stretch out really fast. They just weren’t good quality. They just weren’t made well at all. So, I tried Third Love out of desperation because I kept seeing the ads in my Instagram feed and I was just really intrigued.
So, I tried them. And I will admit I had to try them and send them back several times. But once I found my size…you guys, you guys…so good! I love their bras. Once I found my size, I ordered three more different styles for the types of shirts that I wear and the types of colors that I want underneath. So…nude, white, black, strapless, criss-cross back, t-shirt bras. I got 2-3 more of the size that I found that I was and this is going to sound so dumb but seriously, it makes my days better. I look forward to getting dressed because I’m telling you their bras have made that much of a difference. I did not put this on the top of the list for no reason. I absolutely love Third Love bras!
It is worth having the irritation of kind of ordering the size that you think you are, trying them on and it not being quite right, trying half a size down because they have half sizes too and it’s so cool about them because I’m a half size. It was worth that. It was totally, totally worth it.
Then once I got the one that was my size, I ordered all the styles that I know I need for my wardrobe in that size and I have never been happier with my bras ever! I am sold. I am hooked – pun intended and planned. You’re welcome. I love Third Love! Like love. I highly recommend them.
So, a few good bras above all else for your wardrobe everyday style must-haves. Okay?
Next, a good sports bra with divided cups. What I mean by that is I’m very anti-uniboob.
You know the sports bras that are like a tube top and it looks like one long rectangular shaped breast. Nope! We say “no” to that.
Get a great sports bra with the divided cup. A lot of them will either have an indention in the middle of your boobs and they give you a regular bra look. You can see you have two breasts, but it’s a sports bra. Or the ones I like by Calia, which is Carrie Underwood’s activewear line. I’ve been really impressed with them. I really like them. They have a zipper in the middle so it opens in the front, super easy to get on, very secure, very high intensity sports bra. It feels a little weird sometimes to put that on when I’m just hanging around the house or cleaning, but I’m wearing sporty clothes and I just feel weird wearing a regular bra.
A good sports bra with divided cups, maybe get 2 or 3 of those as well, depending on your lifestyle. I work out three days a week and I wear sports bras a lot of the time when I’m just at home or just running errands. I really only wear regular bras when I’m dressed in jeans and a top and going somewhere.
The next thing is (and my podcast editor is a dude. So Daniel, I’m so sorry for all the boob talk) the next thing that I would say is I don’t really know what to call them, but laced under things for cleavage covering.
I am a bigger-chested lady (again, so sorry Daniel) and I just am not a fan of my cleavage hanging out everywhere. I have learned that it’s kind of unavoidable and I’m going to have some sometimes and people can just get over it and deal with it, but for me to feel good, comfortable, and relaxed, I do like to have a little bit of a lace covering underneath shirts that go a little bit lower. I really like it when they are lace. I really don’t like wearing two shirts, like having a camisole underneath my shirt. So, I have found that lace tube-top-style under things are the best option.
It’s like a little bit of lace sticking out from whatever top you’re wearing and Freepeople actually makes these tube top style lace things you just put over your bra. They’re so cute and they have a bunch of different colors. Some are neutral, some are bright. I have a cream one, a white one, a black one, a brown one. And then I have a couple of happier colors. I have a green one and a pink one so I can mix and match depending on what I’m wearing.
I wear them almost every single day. Anytime I wear a top that goes a little bit lower, I have that on underneath. And that’s how I get that lace little peek out, peekaboo top, without having to wear two shirts because once summer comes here in southern California and it gets to be like 120+ degrees, I’m not wearing two shirts. Okay? That’s not happening. So, I love those. Love them. And I’m linking to all of this stuff in the show notes, okay? So that will be there and I’ll give you guys the link at the end of the episode. So, lace under things for cleavage coverage. That’s my favorite.
Okay, let’s talk about denim cause I’m a jeans wearing girl. Here are the basic types of jeans that I like to have. You guys, remember, these are my must-haves. This isn’t all I have, but these are if I was rebuilding my wardrobe again from scratch, knowing what I know now, these are the must haves. Okay. Distressed jeans for sure.
I prefer a boyfriend style but that might not work for your shape or you might not prefer that for your shape. It doesn’t matter. You can do skinny jean whatever, but distressed jeans, which means they have rips and tears and they look lived in and cozy.
My favorite is from Brooklyn Denim Co. They’re a really light wash and they’ve got random rips and tears on the knees and a couple on the thighs. They’re boyfriend style, super easy. I can wear them with heels. I can wear them with tennis shoes. I can wear them with my clogs. I can wear them with anything, dress them up or down. They’re a very good basic distressed jean. So, a distressed pair of denim is for sure one of the things I would put at the top of my list in my everyday must-have style list.
Next is a pair of basic denim skinny jeans. So basic denim, meaning it’s a medium shade of denim. It’s not too dark, not too light, and there’s no rips or tears, just regular denim, skinny jeans. I prefer some with some stretch.
I wear these with tennis shoes. I can dress them up or down, same as the other jeans, I can do whatever. But they’re just basic and skinny style. I can pair them with different t-shirts, blouses, sweaters, or whatever.
My favorite pair of skinny jeans ever…I have bought these twice and they last forever. As I have lost a little bit of weight and they have more than a little bit of hole in the thigh from wearing them for years, I bought them again, the same ones. And I think that says a lot because I didn’t feel the need to go and look for something better or try some