What I’m sharing with you in this episode is an exercise that I’ve been practicing lately and it’s been helping me find clarity in what things I’m doing in my life that are not aligning with who I want to be, with who I’m working to become. I really believe in the power of always learning and growing because I want to be a better version of myself. I want to be increasing, getting closer to God in my faith, closer to my husband in our marriage, and closer to my kids as I parent them.
This is kind of like a pep talk and an idea you can take action on at the same time, and I think it’s going to give some of you some real clarity. Let’s jump in!
In This Episode Allie Discusses:
The importance of always learning and growing
How stillness and a new perspective can help you notice things
Why you should skip the shame and go straight to taking action
Mentioned in this Episode:
Allie’s Facebook group
Allie’s Courses (Use the code PURPOSESHOW for 10% off!)
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Mom life. We are surrounded with the message that it’s the tired life. The no-time-for-myself life. The hard life. And while it is hard and full of lots of servitude, the idea that motherhood means a joyless life is something I am passionate about putting a stop to. I’m on a mission to help you stop counting down the minutes till bedtime, at least most days. I want you to stop cleaning up after your kid’s childhood and start being present for it. Start enjoying it. I believe in John 10:10 “that we are called to abundant life” and I know mothers are not excluded from that promise. Join me in conversations about simplicity, minimalism and lots of other good stuff that leads to a life of less for the sake of enjoying more in your motherhood. I’m Allie Casazza and this is The Purpose Show.
Hey, beautiful friend Welcome back to another episode of The Purpose Show. Today is kind of like a pep talk and an idea you can take action on at the same time. I think it’s going to give some of you some real clarity. I really would love for you to tag me that you’re listening to this episode and tell me if you try it and how it makes you feel. Super curious to see who this resonates with.
We talked about something that came up for me during my meditation practice in last week’s episode and this week has a similar feel. This stuff has been on my mind a lot lately. The episodes always come out of what I’m seeing in the community of the people that follow me and what’s coming up for me that I feel like it won’t leave me alone until I share it. And that has been happening with meditation and some things that I’ve been practicing to honestly make myself a better version of myself, and I’ll take that anytime. So, I thought I’d pass it along.
What I’m going to share with you today is an exercise that I’ve been practicing lately and it’s been helping me find clarity in what things I’m doing in my life that are not aligning with who I want to be, with who I’m working to become. I really believe in the power of always learning and growing, and again, as Maya Angelou has said, I’ve said this so many times, “know better, do better.” And I want to know better. I want to know more. I want to be a better version of myself. I want to be growing, increasing, getting closer to God in my faith, closer to my husband in our marriage, and closer to my kids as I parent them. I want to fall more in love with my work, my purpose, spread my message even further and reach the masses.
I’m always wanting to grow, but I think that needs to be done with boundaries and with positivity, not with force, pushing yourself, or trying to be someone that you’re not. You just want to be a better version of who God made you to be.
One really powerful way that you can do this is to get still and question what you’re doing right now that isn’t really lining up with where you want to go. I think that a powerful way you can make change in yourself is to act like the person that you want to become.
There’s a lot of things in the world that are said casually that come back to this. In the workplace, people say, “dress for the job you want, not the job you have,” because it makes an impact. It makes people treat you differently and makes you act differently. “Fake it till you make it,” that’s another one. “Smile when you don’t feel like it and then you will feel like it.” Really, it all comes down to the way we act, the way we live is what makes us who we become.
The way you think, the way you talk, the way you spend your time and who you spend your time with – all of these things deeply affect you. I think that this exercise I want to share with you can help you see the habits that you currently have, the things that you’re doing, the places that you’re spending your time, the people that you have in your life who are not helping you, who are keeping you held back.
I don’t mean this to sound like, “it’s all about me, it’s all about you, and it’s just all about whatever makes us happier, whatever makes us better.” If you’re not your best version of yourself, then you’re not able to pour into your spouse, to pour into your kids, to pour into your job, your mission fields where you were designed to help make the world a better place, where you were designed to do the thing you were made to do, so it is important to protect ourselves.
Whenever I talk about boundaries, I always have somebody in the audience who comes up and says, “boundaries are just you being selfish,” and I couldn’t disagree more. I’ve often found that people that say that don’t like people that have boundaries because they often have boundaries against them because they’re the type of person that needs people to put boundaries up around them.
Having said all of that, I really want to encourage you to try this and see how you feel.
Hey friend! I just want to talk to you real quick about the holidays because they’re coming up on us! If you are sick of being super stressed out and dreading seeing certain people, going through certain traditions or dealing with the budget crisis of the holidays, I want you to know that there is a no-stress way to handle more stuff coming into your home, dealing with boundaries and relatives, dealing with traditions.
I want to help you craft this Christmas mission statement and not just for Christmas but for Thanksgiving and the holiday season in general. I want to help you decorate your home without making it feel super cluttered and too much, with things that are special and matter.
I want to help you transition your kids into a simpler Christmas and stop expecting so much stuff. I want to help you make new traditions and let go of the ones that are stressful and a burden that you’re holding onto out of obligation that aren’t serving your family anymore. I want to help you buy and receive Christmas presents with a simpler mindset. Plus, I want to help you know what to do when the holidays are over and starting out the New Year right.
We’re going to talk about buying your kids’ presents, dealing with relatives and their gift giving, preparing your house. What if your husband doesn’t want a simple Christmas, but you do? Anything and everything you can think of!
It’s all in my super short but powerful, powerful punch-packer, A Merry Little Christmas. It’s a mini course. It’s only $39. It’s available now. It’s DIY. You just get in there, login, take in the teaching and simplify your Christmas.
To snag this, go to alliecasazza.com/amerrylittlechristmas. $39 bucks for a simplified Christmas. Come on. Let’s get in there. Let’s do this. Let’s stop spending this precious time of the year feeling super, super stressed out.
The first thing you’re going to need to do is get still. I know that’s really hard. Whenever I talk about meditation, I always feel like I need to especially shout out the moms who are listening that have a newborn or really, really young kids – girl, it gets better! It gets easier. It gets a lot easier to create stillness, but there will always be a hurdle keeping you from doing that, making it difficult to do that. Because when your kids get older then you’ve got pickup and drop-off, baseball, and all these things and there’s always going to be a reason.
So just try, try to create some space for stillness. It’s so good for you. It’ll make you such a better mama, such a better wife, friend, and person. Get still.
Then maybe have a journal and pen next to you if you want and ask yourself prompting questions. One example would be just ask yourself this question straight up, “What am I doing right now in my life that’s holding me back from becoming the person I desire to be?” Sit still with that for a minute and wait and see if anything comes up.
The first thing that’s going to happen is that your mind will immediately begin to wonder. You’ll start to think like, “Oh, I left the oven on,” or “Oh, my head’s really itchy all of a sudden. I need to scratch this itch.” Or, “Oh gosh! I have so much to do today. This is taking forever. This is stupid. This is not working and I just need to get up and get on with my day.” Control your thoughts. Notice that they’re drifting, bring it back, focus on your breathing and just sit still and come back to that prompt, “What am I doing right now in my life that’s holding me back from becoming the person I desire to be?”
You might need to prompt yourself in a more specific way if nothing’s coming up for you. Like, “Do my evenings have anything in them that is not pulling me forward?” This is a great question because a lot of bad habits happen at night. “What am I doing regularly that’s not moving me forward? What needs to be cut out of my habits in my life?”
Maybe it’s the way you eat. Maybe your eating habits are keeping you sluggish, tired, and sick, and you’re not able to show up for the people you need to show up for. Maybe it’s the habit of eating ice cream almost every night, because the sugar hangover the next day makes you feel like crap and you’re not someone super fun to be around because you feel like crap.
Maybe it’s to stop drinking. Maybe it’s to move more and stop sitting so much. Do you know how amazing you’d feel if you just simply changed nothing else except taking a walk every day with or without your kids? You would feel so good! You would see such a difference in your body, your mindset, your mood and your day.
This exercise is so simple. It’s barely worth an episode because it’s so simple, but it will help you notice what are the things you have going on in your life that you’re doing habitually, almost accidentally, without thinking about it because you’ve always done those things. Or maybe you know it’s not really great for you but you keep doing it and you don’t want to break the cycle.
Viewing your life from almost an aerial perspective is really powerful because we all get lost in the humdrum of life. We go through life, we have our habits, we have our way of living, we have the things that we do and don’t do. We have the people we talk to and don’t talk to. What would happen if you just took stillness for five minutes and looked at your life and your week from an aerial perspective and asked, “What am I doing that isn’t really moving me forward and helping me up level?”
After you view your life from an aerial perspective, if you really give it space and you really prompt yourself right, something will come up and it’ll be something that you really don’t want to let go of. Like the ice cream habit, like the drinking habit, like the junk food after hours habit.
Then what I want to challenge you to do is have a gall to get up and change that thing about yourself and up-level yourself.
One note that I want to end with is don’t tell yourself that you should be doing this or you shouldn’t be doing these things that you’re doing. Don’t come at yourself in this exercise with shame. Don’t shame yourself. The key is to get real with yourself. Get still. Ask the prompting questions about where you’re at right now and then see if anything comes up and just notice it.
Notice that that’s there. Notice that this bad habit has been a part of your life and it’s not serving you at all. It’s not serving the people that you love at all. It’s not helping you move forward. And then change it.
I dare you to be different than almost everybody else. Be an action-taking, problem-solving woman and change this thing. Let it go and see how you feel. See what happens.
So, so simple. Less is really more here. So simple. I dare you. I dare you guys to try this.
This was an episode of The Purpose Show. Did you know there is an exclusive community created solely for the purpose of continuing discussions surrounding The Purpose Show episodes? And to get you to actually take action and make positive changes on the things that you learn here? Go be a part of it. To join go to facebook.com/groups/purposefulmamas.
Thank you so much for tuning in. If you are ready to uplevel and really take action on the things I talk about on my show, and get step-by-step help from me, head to alliecasazza.com. There are free downloads, courses, classes, and ways to learn more about what the next step might look like for you and to focus on whatever you might need help with in whatever season you are in right now.
I am always rooting for you, friend! See ya next time!