Ep 147: A Morning Routine That Works For You with Desirae Endres

I’ve got a special guest with me today! Desirae from The Minimal-ish Podcast is here to talk about her morning routine. I know we talk about this a lot on my podcast and in my community but I always think it’s helpful to get another perspective. 

Desirae is a mom to a two-year-old so she’s also in that early stage of motherhood that I’m kind of already out of so I think it will be helpful to hear from her that a morning routine is possible with a toddler! 

This episode is full of practical tips that you can put into practice because you know I’m all about taking action here and I believe setting yourself up for success in the morning is so, so important. OK, let’s jump into the conversation! Enjoy!

 

In This Episode Allie and Desirae Discuss:

  • Morning routines

  • Morning lists

  • Shifting your morning routine in different seasons

Mentioned in this Episode:

Instagram

Courses (Use the code PURPOSESHOW for 10% off!)

The Purpose Show Facebook Community

Getting Started with Affirmations

Desirae’s podcast

Allie’s episode on Desirae’s podcast

Simple Morning Lists

Desirae’s Instagram

Desirae’s Website


Words are powerful, and they’re directly connected to our thoughts and our hearts. Speak life over yourself and your circumstances with positive affirmations.  

I’ve put together a list of positive statements for every area of your life. Start saying them out loud and watch your world transform!


Who doesn’t love a GIVEAWAY?

Reviews are everything on iTunes! Would you take a minute and click here to leave a review? Email hello@alliecasazza.com with a screenshot of your review on iTunes. You’ll be entered to win one of Allie’s amazing courses for FREE!  

If you have a question, comment or a suggestion about today’s episode, or the podcast in general, send me an email at hello@alliecasazza.com or connect with me over on Facebook & Instagram


Mom life. We are surrounded with the message that it’s the tired life. The no-time-for-myself life. The hard life. And while it is hard and full of lots of servitude, the idea that motherhood means a joyless life is something I am passionate about putting a stop to. I’m on a mission to help you stop counting down the minutes till bedtime, at least most days. I want you to stop cleaning up after your kid’s childhood and start being present for it. Start enjoying it. I believe in John 10:10 “that we are called to abundant life” and I know mothers are not excluded from that promise. Join me in conversations about simplicity, minimalism and lots of other good stuff that leads to a life of less for the sake of enjoying more in your motherhood. I’m Allie Casazza and this is The Purpose Show.


Hi, beautiful friend! Welcome to The Purpose Show! Today I am having a conversation with Desirae, who is from The Minimal-ish Podcast. Desirae popped up in my path several times over the last few months and I’ve been watching her and been really encouraged by her. There’s something about her sweet mannerism or something. She’s just adorable, helpful, and kind, and I wanted to have a conversation with her. I had that in the back of my mind, and then she reached out to me and wanted me to come on her podcast. I did and then we ended up recording back to back episodes for each other’s shows. It was really fun to spend the morning with her.

I was right about the way she comes off. She’s very, very sweet and really, deeply helpful. She has very thought provoking things to say. We share a perspective on minimalism, what it is and isn’t about for us, and what the goal is and is not. And I love that about her. 

We are actually talking about her morning routine, not about minimalism. We talked about minimalism on her podcast and I will link to that in the show notes here if you want to go and listen to me being interviewed on her show about minimalism, decluttering with kids in the house and all that stuff. 

But this conversation is about her morning ritual, her morning routine, and what she does with her morning quiet time. I know we talk about that a lot here in my audience, in my tribe, and on the podcast, but it’s always helpful to have another person’s perspective.

Desirae also has created a journal for herself to use to guide her morning time, and she actually published it and shares it with everybody. So, we’re going to link to that as well. This is a conversation about how to find morning time, what to do when your season in life changes and it’s not working like it used to, and what to do if you have to get kids out the door and go to work and the morning is anything but peaceful, how do you still create that intent and what does that look like? 

This is a very detailed episode with lots of practical things you could put into practice, but it also has something of a spiritual side to it of philosophy, ideas, and inspiration. So, please enjoy this conversation. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did.

ALLIE: Hi Desirae! Welcome to The Purpose Show!

DESIRAE:  Hey, I’m so excited to be here!

ALLIE: So, okay guys, we just recorded for Desirae’s podcast, Minimal-ish. I think my episode is coming out on yours first, so we’ll link to that in the show notes. 

DESIRAE: Okay. Sounds good. 

ALLIE: But we had a really cool conversation about minimalism, being a mom and a minimalist and decluttering with kids. And I figured that because she’s so amazing why not just bring her on here at the same time. 

I love the way you talk about things and I love how much we have in common. We were just talking about the ‘anti-minimalist minimalism.’ It’s like not caring about how many items we have and obsessively lessening everything. It’s just having less so that we can go and live our lives, you know?

DESIRAE: Yeah. It’s definitely not about the numbers, and I don’t love decluttering so it’s not fun for me. I love what it did for me, but it’s not fun. 

ALLIE: Amen. And I don’t want to sit here and talk about it constantly over and over again. Let’s go and talk about other things and live life. And that is why I wanted to have you on, because you have talked so much about your morning routine, your time in the morning, and how that sets you up for success. I feel like people have this sort of obsession with what people do in their morning time—especially in the business world. There are always things and headlines like, “The CEO of Walmart and what he does in his morning routine.” So, I think we’re fascinated with what people do to set themselves up for everything that they have to do.

And I think it’s helpful too because you’re a mom and you’ve got a two-year-old, right? 

DESIRAE: Yep.

ALLIE: I think it’s important as moms because we find ourselves making up excuses about why we can’t do all of these things like, “Oh, it’s just not my season.” And it’s like, “Well, if you have that mindset you’re never going to have the time that you want to have for things. Now you’ve just spoken that out, so your mind is there and you’re not going to look for ways to create space.” 

So, I would just love to dive into the morning routine conversation with you. We talk about that a lot here, so I’m looking forward to hearing what you do and what you would say to some of the common questions people ask. 

Why don’t you tell us what your morning routine looks like? 

DESIRAE: Yeah. So I have been doing a lot of different things in the morning for the past year and a half. And before that it was just chaos in the mornings because I let my daughter wake me up by crying. When she was 9 or 10 months old is when I started waking up before her. And right now, luckily, she’s in a season, a short season I’m sure, of waking up later. So, she wakes up about 7:30-8:00 right now. She does that a couple of times a year it feels like. I don’t know, I haven’t known her that long; she’s only 2.

So, usually she wakes up around 7:00 or a little bit before, but she’s waking up a little bit later now. I give myself a little bit of grace to wake up a tiny bit later, but I try to wake up about two hours before her and that gives me time to do all the things that I want to do in the morning, which also changes. 

Right now what that looks like is—because it’s winter and it’s cold where I live (I’m in Pittsburgh. It’s dark and it’s just gloomy)—stumbling out of bed and getting the coffee going. I greet my husband because he’s up too. He is a teacher so he’s up at that time getting ready for work. 

For some reason it has really been important to me to greet my husband with a kiss in the morning before my daughter even wakes up. That’s been something special that we do to spend time together in the morning right now, but not necessarily talking to each other. Then what I do is I get the coffee going and I sit down and I work through these “morning lists” that have evolved over time. 

Right now I do five of them. One of them is not really a list, but I start with surrender. I quiet myself and my brain a little bit and try to think about what I need to let go of that day. I am a Christian so I ask God about it, but this is for anyone. There are things that we think are in our control that aren’t in our control and I think we need to think about that in the mornings and let it go. 

And at the same time, as I reflect on that, I also realize that there are things that maybe are in my control a little bit more and as I move through the other five lists, it helps me to realize what is in my control, what isn’t in my control, and what do I have a tight grip on that I need to let go of and, for me, see where God takes it? In my perspective, that’s what it is to me.

Then I do a quick gratitude list, and I move into a purpose statement—which is what drives me. And that’s the one that’s not a list. I have a journal that I call Simple Morning Lists, so I just called them all “lists,” but that’s the only one that’s not a list. I write the same thing over and over. It’s super simple, but it just reminds me of: What am I here to do today?

I do affirmations after that, which you love talking about affirmations too and I just love that. I speak life into myself and my day.  I call it in my journal as, “Who am I becoming,” but I write it in as if it’s already happened. 

ALLIE: That is so powerful. I know that you know it’s powerful. We say it like it’s just off-hand and like, “Oh yeah, I just say it before it happens,” but that is everything. I believe that we are created in the image of the ultimate, all-powerful Creator and He gave us a piece of that power. He spoke everything into existence and we have some of that. Why don’t we use it more?

DESIRAE: It’s amazing how powerful it truly is and how much of a difference it makes. I tell people, “If you don’t believe it’s possible right now…” And that’s where I was with affirmations before I started writing them. The first time I started doing it I was saying them in my head and I was like, “Oh, this feels so weird. I don’t even believe this but I’m saying it.” But it’s amazing that over time you start to believe it, and if that’s what it’s about for you, then that’s great too. 

One of ours is, “We are debt free,” because we’re on a debt free journey right now. It’s so simple. And sometimes I take it a little bit further. The way I write them down every day is different. Sometimes I talk about how I have created a business that has helped us become debt free, things like that. So, I add to it or I take away from it, depending on the day and how much time I have. But that idea of just writing it down, it makes me be a little bit better with my spending in our budget that day. I mean it folds into my day. 

But the last thing I do is I write a super short to-do list and then I work—that’s what I do right now in the mornings is I work. I do most of my podcasts in the mornings and during nap time. So it’s just a really important time for me to do that. 

For a while in the summer I was doing some movement and working out in the mornings and I really, really loved it. I think it is a great thing to do in the mornings but it’s just not good for this current season because I’m tired.

ALLIE: Yeah, totally. Mine changes too. I feel like it’s difficult sometimes because my podcast listeners, they’re like, “You know, I’m trying your morning routine and what do you do about this? Well how do you fit in this?” And I’m like, “I don’t.” That is what I did at that season when I shared that. That’s all I did, and there wasn’t enough room for everything.” So it’s about picking and choosing. 

Maybe sometimes I go for a really brisk walk in the evening instead of working out in the morning. Some days, some seasons, I did work out in the morning. I worked out a lot, really hard, because in that season that’s what felt right. What makes you feel like you want to wake up in the morning? If it doesn’t, don’t put it in your morning routine. It’s supposed to be about life. Everything else can get fit in at another time, or not, and that’s okay. 

I feel like people are more like, “I need to get this done.” No matter how early you have to wake up, you can put things in your morning ritual in that time that make you excited to wake up. Even if it’s cold and dark, it should make you excited.

DESIRAE: Yeah, exactly. And I think a huge factor in starting a morning routine is actually being excited about it. Because this is the time of the day where you can do things that you cannot find any other time in your day to do. It’s a huge deal. It’s so exciting. But if you hate working out and you are saying, “Okay, I’m going to start a morning routine so I can fit in a workout,” then that’s probably not the best place to start because if you have a hard time waking up already and you’re going to start with something that you dislike, that might not work. 

I forgot to add, I also do devotions in the morning and that changes as well. And I want to say that for anyone who is of the same faith that there are some seasons where I feel like I really need to lean into that and spend more time. Not that there are seasons where I don’t need God just as much as the others, but there are seasons where time is a little bit tighter and I need to use my morning time in a different way. So when that happens, I just try to put reminders on my phone to pray throughout the day. Or I read my daughter’s little Bible with her so that I still am getting that connection with God. 

But I know that in the past I would say, “I really want a morning routine because I need to do quiet time. Quiet time, I need to do that,” and it never really worked for me. It never really got me out of bed in the morning. I feel like I was trying to fit my relationship with God in a box and that wasn’t working. So I wanted to put that in there as well. It’s an important step to starting my day, but it is not the only way to connect with God.

ALLIE: Yeah, and just for anyone listening, I feel like examples are helpful too. I’m in a place right now where I am having lingering quiet time. I have my morning gratitude and affirmations and all these things, and then I am able to sit and be at peace. I’ve got my Bible, I’ve got a book that I’m reading, a Bible study kind of book. I’m praying. I’m writing out my prayer, whatever I want for like an hour plus and it’s amazing. 

But before this season happened in my life, I did not have that opportunity and it was very much being in a place of walking with God in my day, talking and praying while I was driving, while I was showering, while I was getting ready in the day. And you know what? That is where grace comes in because He met me there just as much as He meets me in my hour-plus time in the morning now.

So, don’t feel discouraged if you’re like, “I just wish I could have that. If I could just have that, it would be everything.” It won’t be. If you don’t speak life, choose gratitude, and talk to God throughout your normal day, you’re not going to really do that if you had all the time in the world. It’s just about my morning chunk of time, and it sounds like for you too, will shift, ebb and flow and be filled with whatever it needs to be filled with. 

If I’m growing my business, I’m probably going to be working in that time and exercising later or not at all for a week. And that’s okay. It’s about what is going to serve you and your family, fill you up and be like, “This was a good day.”

Sometimes you need to record your podcast. Other times you can take a really long walk and pray. It’s about adjusting and that time serving what you need it to serve, I think.

DESIRAE: Yeah. And that’s definitely where I’m at. I’m in such a building phase. Some days literally I wake up and I’m like, “I can’t work right now. My mind’s not there, so I am going to lean into more of this reflecting and I am going to spend 30 minutes-plus on all of that.” 

I always do the lists. I always do some kind of gratitude, affirmations, and surrender because it at least reminds me of who I am and where I’m going. Some days it’s five minutes and some days it’s 30-plus. And when it is longer, sometimes that’s because I’m like, “I can’t think. I need a break. I actually need 30 minutes to even think of what word to put down here”… because I have a toddler and some days I’m tired.

I think the whole thing with mornings is, at least for me, I’m telling myself by that action of waking up early and spending that time on myself and on the things that I’m growing, I’m telling myself that I’m important enough to do that. That I am worth the little discomfort of having to set my alarm a little bit earlier and go to bed a little bit earlier (because I want to sleep too because that’s important too.) So I think why I do the morning routine in general is it makes me more confident in who I am because it’s literally me saying, “Hey, you’re worth it. You are worth setting up your day and doing these things you care about without a toddler on your legs.”

ALLIE: Yeah. Oh, absolutely. And it’s so important. I think it’s really great, too, that you have such a balance of taking care of yourself, treating yourself well, and also practicing discipline and making sure that you are speaking positive words over your day before it happens. That you are choosing gratitude. 

When you wake up and you choose gratitude—even if it’s such a totally juvenile list of things, if it’s just a list of things that you’re grateful for—you literally change the fabric of your day. And it’s so powerful and so simple. 

So many people want to take advantage of the power of their words, the power of their morning ritual or their quiet time routine, and speak life over their day, over the different parts of their lives, but they don’t know what to say. I used to be there too and I totally get it.

Years ago when I first started speaking out affirmations over myself, my relationships, my business, and my life, I started to make a list of power statements that were infused with positivity that I could just read so I wasn’t constantly having to use my brain calories to come up with what to say during my morning time when I was speaking life for my day. 

Now I’ve created a list of affirmations for every area of your life that you can borrow from me. You can literally just download it like a  PDF and keep it on your phone, or print it out and keep it on your fridge, in your pocket, in your purse, in your car, your office, wherever you need it. 

These are affirmations for your schedule, for self-care and taking care of yourself, for your relationships, for cleaning and maintaining your home, health and wellness, for getting rid of excess in your home and in your life, for intentional family time, for trying to simplify your life for your business and success.

That list is especially special to me because it is the list of the affirmations that I actually stood in my driveway when we lived in Arkansas and we were so broke and started this business, and it’s the list of affirmations that I used to pray out loud over my business that I was starting. It’s so, so powerful. My entire life has changed from the power of words. 

So to get this list – it’s only 15 bucks – go to alliecasazza.com/affirmations

This goes along perfectly with what Desirae and I are talking about today in this episode. I really want to encourage you to take action. I do not ever want to be one of those podcasts that you get on, you listen to, you feel inspired and it’s thought provoking, but then the episode is over, you walk away and you get back into your normal life. I want you to have an action step and this is it!

alliecasazza.com/affirmations. 15 bucks for a massive list of positive statements that you don’t have to think about. That you can speak over your life in every single area from starting a successful company all the way down to health and wellness, simplifying and running your home and your relationships. 

You can pick and choose whatever areas of your life you need those affirmations and take those ones and run with them. All the hard work is done for you! All you have to do is get into the practice of speaking them out loud. 

alliecasazza.com/affirmations

ALLIE: I want to ask you some things that I always get asked, but I think it’s helpful to hear somebody else answer them and it’s all the questions that always pour in when I talk about this topic. 

What is your solution when your daughter is not in a phase of sleeping late? When she wakes up super early and you need to have this time, what does that look like for you?

DESIRAE: For me I shift it and when that happens, I usually am not working in the mornings and that’s just how it goes for me. This is my season. I know that I have a toddler and I can’t predict what she does every day so when she does wake up early, and if she’s in a season of waking up early, I just tell myself, “Okay, at least I need 40 minutes.” For me, that’s what I need to get the coffee going, to do some reflection, and to have some time by myself where I can think through what the day ahead is bringing. I need that. I can’t let go of it. 

It’s very seldom, but there are days where she wakes me up. That happened this past weekend, I think it was, because our dog woke us up in the middle of the night and I was up for a long time. That was just me taking care of myself and saying I need the extra sleep more than I need that 40 minutes. But that is so rare in my season. If you have a newborn, you probably shouldn’t wake up early. I mean that’s just how it is.

But right now she sleeps well and in these seasons where she’s consistently waking up earlier, I put her to bed a little bit earlier and I try to go to bed a little bit earlier and I just give myself a little less time in the morning, but I stick to that 40 minutes as much as I can.

ALLIE: I love that. I feel like people are looking for a cookie cutter, “This is the formula. This is how you get your kids to let you have time. This is exactly what you do no matter what.” 

Just because you’re teaching ‘morning time’ doesn’t mean that in every season, no matter what, you always have perfect morning time. It’s just something that you seek and that you try to do. Most of the time it happens, but occasionally it doesn’t. And you can read at night, you can be grateful at night, you can be grateful while you drive to the doctor appointment. 

DESIRAE: Yeah, absolutely. When I was launching my journal, some of the women on the launch team just weren’t into the idea of mornings, but kind of loved my podcast and what I talk about. While I love morning routines (and I don’t know why anybody wouldn’t), I know there are people who just aren’t morning people. And there are other times in the day that if you want to start your day well a morning routine doesn’t necessarily have to be right as you wake up. 

If you have kids that are going to school, this could be something where you drop your kids off and on your way to work you are going through a list of gratitude affirmations in your head. I know I have one friend who does kind of the same list as me and she does them when she gets to work because she gets to work a little bit early and she just goes through that for about 15-20 minutes.

There are so many options. There are so many ways to have a morning routine. I think hearing other’s is so helpful.

Reflect on your day—where is the white space in your day? And if there’s nothing then that’s a problem. That’s when you have to realize that you are the owner of your day. I mean, yes, if you have kids, they are important but you get to choose where you are spending your time, how many activities you’re throwing them into or letting them be a part of because they want to, and how much you’re stretching yourself thin. If we don’t have white space in our days, I think we get to a really dangerous place.

ALLIE: Absolutely. And just asking yourself, “Where is the first bit of calm that I can put in some quiet time?” If it’s not first thing in the morning, that’s okay. You can still get out of bed, go hit the shower and practice gratitude in your head while you wash your hair, and then get ready, get your kids ready, get them out, get to work. Five minutes, even in the bathroom or something, you just take a deep breath, focus on more gratitude, speak life. There’s so much. 

At one point I recorded myself saying some affirmations about my business and I would listen to them when I was going to sleep because I couldn’t find ones that weren’t outside of my belief system, so I just recorded them myself. It worked so well. 

It’s changing the fabric of your day, your brain, how you think, and the decisions you’re going to make. If you can’t find some amount of time to get intentional about that, you are too busy. That is not okay. That’s not a good way to live.

DESIRAE: Yeah, absolutely.

ALLIE: Okay. Can you tell us about the journal that you made? I wrote down all the lists that are in it and it’s amazing. We’re going to link to it and show notes. What is the purpose of this? Is this exactly what you use?

DESIRAE: Yeah, so I do actually use it. I use it every day and I honestly created it because I was about to create a list template for myself. I was making them in just a plain journal, which I tell people like, “Okay, if you don’t want to buy a preset journal then here’s the list. I am not hiding them from you. I think they are super helpful and I think that they can make a difference in your day and I want you to take them and make them your own.” 

I was doing that and I had this idea of, “I think other people could benefit from these lists as well and if I’m making a template for myself…”

So, I stopped filling up these tiny blank journals that I kept buying. I wanted it to be something where I could be more focused in the morning instead of writing all the headings down every day. It sounds silly, but it’s just what I wanted. So, I created it. 

As I created it I also included extra journal space each day. There’s a page for the list and then there’s a page for journaling space in general. And I did that because I fully believe in the power of reflective journaling in general. I think that people think that’s out of reach for them if they don’t love writing or if they just don’t have the time. But that’s why it starts with lists because you can just journal through lists and that still is reflective journaling. 

But if you have extra time and you want to write down prayers, or if you have extra time sometimes I brainstorm and if my creativity is flowing I’ll brainstorm a podcast on the other side. That space for me is like this living thing where I am just constantly creating, praying, or something on that extra space. So, that’s what it is. 

I already talked about the list so I don’t want to over talk about them, but it also includes a super in-depth introduction to really go into, “Okay, why are we surrendering? What does that even mean?” That’s the biggest one I get questions on. And purpose statements…I talk about that a lot. There’s help to create your purpose statement in there. There’s help to create your affirmations in there in the beginning, there’s a 14-day morning routine challenge in there.

And then every seven days—which I say, don’t skip a day. If you don’t do it seven days in a row, just kind of go through it—there’s a little short essay as well that is meant to encourage you on one aspect of the list and encourage you to live a life that has room for what matters for you in general.

ALLIE: Yeah. You sent me the journal, the book. First of all it’s really cute. You’d want to have it out. I really liked the essay parts too. 

I wanted to say this earlier, but I was reminded when you said, ‘surrender.’ Something we talked about earlier, something in this journal, is what I am always trying to get the women who listen to this podcast to understand and that is there are some things that you have control over and some things that you do not have control over. And I feel like so often we get them mixed up, or we think that we need to have control over everything, or because some people go the other way and they’re like, “I just don’t have control over anything. I’m a victim. Everything is an excuse and I just need to get through this season.” And it’s like, “No!” Usually we have it wrong. We try to have control over the things that we cannot have control over and we totally don’t own up to what we need to be in ownership of. 

And I feel like it’s such an amazing thing. I do not do that in my morning ritual and I’m going to start because you have inspired me to think, “What am I trying to control that I need to let go of today?” Just being present. Just right now. And then, “What am I not taking ownership of that I need to open my arms to and realize this is my thing. I need to be responsible for this, take ownership of that, and control that more in a healthy way.” Because I feel like if you are doing that every day, what an amazing way to be a human and to have a proper balance as situations are coming. 

I think that could be a really big key to being responsive rather than reactive as you go about your day. Because your focus on control is where it needs to be.

DESIRAE: Yeah. And I think this, for me, came out of a couple of things. One, I tend to be an anxious person and I realized that a lot of the things that I have anxiety over and worry about are out of my control. And surrendering them in the morning, it makes a huge difference for me. And on the other side, there are things that are kind of in my control and I have learned that. I think I took the victim seat before and my mornings have helped me come out of that place. 

But now that I am growing a podcast and growing a business, I know these things are in my control, but I tend to get a tight grip on them and do that whole striving and hustle thing and get into that mentality. And I want to take myself out of that as fast as I possibly can because it doesn’t put me in a healthy space. 

And so, on the other hand, surrendering that kind of thing helps me to stop striving and feel more intentional in the things that I’m creating and in motherhood. Every day one of my things is being the perfect mom because there’s this image in my head of what does the perfect mom look like? And I’m striving towards that and comparing myself. Those are the types of things I’m letting go of each morning.

ALLIE: Yeah, that’s really powerful. I believe that is where our responsibility lies in just taking control and like I said taking ownership of what we need to, letting go of the rest and striving to answer, “How can I be a better version of myself just today? What’s going on today? What is my to-do list? How can I keep it shorter than it is right now? What do I need to be doing just today?” 

I think that the whole idea of mindfulness is such a trend right now, so much so that it’s overused, and people are forgetting what it actually means. And for me, I think we could practice mindfulness by just being focused on today, right now, and then asking, “How can I be the best version of myself in this day?” And not worrying about the rest. Not worrying about this afternoon or tomorrow. Just right now. How can I show up for you and the audience in this conversation and then move on after it’s done? 

And having that morning time is the catalyst for living the rest of the day like that. If you don’t have focused morning time, you are not in that head space. You are rushed, anxious, and in that hustle, that unhealthy hustle mode like you said. And so, I think that the morning time is all about setting the stage for how you’re going to respond to the rest of the day.

DESIRAE: Yeah. And self-discovery, too, comes through that in so many ways. I have been reflecting on myself a year ago and I think through how I started the surrender list, probably about seven or eight months ago, and how much has changed what I’m striving towards. I thought a good goal for me last year, at the beginning of last year, was to be a thriving stay-at-home mom. I thought that was a great goal and it sounds really good, right? Thrive in my stay-at-home-mom life. 

But I had this picture of who I should be as this mom who takes my child to all the activities I can find and we’re doing this structured play time all day long. And I just felt so miserable doing that. Anytime I even tried, I failed. And now I look at my days and I think, “I’m so much happier, so much more content in my days.” And that has to do with all of those lists that I make. Especially surrender, especially gratitude and the purpose statement. I’d say those first three are huge in my contentment.

But also, I stopped striving for that image. I said, “That’s not who I am. I am so different than that. I’m super relaxed and laid back.” And it’s funny that my daughter thrives a lot more when I am being me instead of striving for something that I’m not,

ALLIE: Well it puts expectations in you on her when you’re like, “This is what thriving looks like and this is what I need to do today.” And I do that all the time to my kids too. Even if it has nothing to do with them, it’s like a personal thing that I want to get done because they’re older now. Then it’s like if somebody gets hurt, or is extra hungry that day, wants an extra snack and is asking me for stuff in the middle of me trying to get my stuff done, it’s just like those expectations are the death of everything. It’s not helpful or productive at all. It doesn’t make you the best version of yourself for sure. 

Okay. So we’re going to link to your journal in the show notes, but tell us where people can go and connect with you. Are you really active on Instagram or what socially are you active on?

DESIRAE: Yeah, so I’m super active on Instagram. I feel like it’s kind of like a blog for me. That’s where I do a lot of writing and long captions. I’m @minimalish.desirae

ALLIE: Love that. Okay. And then what’s your website?

DESIRAE: I’m at desiraeendres.com and Simplemorninglists.com is where you can find the journal, but you can also find everything on my website. 

ALLIE: Awesome. Thank you so much! I feel like it’s vulnerable to open up and share what you do in the morning because you’re opening up to other people’s opinions about it and that’s very vulnerable and I appreciate you doing that for us today. 

DESIRAE: Yeah, absolutely. I love talking about it. So thanks for having me on.


This was an episode of The Purpose Show. Did you know there is an exclusive community created solely for the purpose of continuing discussions surrounding The Purpose Show episodes? And to get you to actually take action and make positive changes on the things that you learn here? Go be a part of it. To join go to facebook.com/groups/purposefulmamas.

Thank you so much for tuning in. If you are ready to uplevel and really take action on the things I talk about on my show, and get step-by-step help from me, head to alliecasazza.com. There are free downloads, courses, classes, and ways to learn more about what the next step might look like for you and to focus on whatever you might need help with in whatever season you are in right now.  

I am always rooting for you, friend! See ya next time!

Hey mama! Just a quick note, this post may contain affiliate links.