In today’s episode we’re talking about homeschooling, or really schooling your kids at home. I know homeschooling has a different meaning for a lot of us right now because of Covid-19, but whether you are an actual homeschool family or this is your first experience schooling at home, this episode is for you. We’re going to talk about some perspective shifts you can make that will make things a lot simpler and less stressful for you and your family. Let’s jump in!
In This Episode Allie Discusses:
The pressure to overcomplicate homeschooling
What really matters in homeschooling
Mentioned in this Episode:
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Mom life. We’re surrounded by the message that it’s the tired life. The no-time-for-myself life. The hard life. We’re supposed to get through it. Survive. Cling on by the last little thread. And at the same time, Carpe Diem—enjoy every moment because it’s going to go by so fast. The typical mom culture that sends us all kinds of mixed, typically negative messages. We shouldn’t take care of ourselves; it’s selfish. The more ragged you run yourself, the bigger your badge of honor. But also, ditch your mom bod and work out. Don’t yell. Make more money. Show up. Be better, but not at the expense of time with your kids. I am putting a hard stop to all of this. While being a mom, running a business, and whatever else you might have going on is hard, it is a lot and there’s lots of giving of yourself, the idea that motherhood means living a joyless, nonstop-hustle-with-zero-balance kind of life, where you give and give and give and never take, needs to stop.
I’m on a mission to help you stop counting down the minutes till bedtime (at least most days). Stop the mom guilt and shame game. Stop cleaning up after your kids’ childhood and start being present for it. I want to help you thrive in work, home and life. I believe in John 10:10 that we are called to living an abundant life and I know moms are not excluded from that promise. Join me in conversations about simplicity, some business and life hacks, spirituality and lots of other good stuff that leads to a life of less for the sake of enjoying more in your motherhood. I’m Allie Casazza and this is The Purpose Show.
Hi friends! Today is such a good day because we are talking about homeschooling. Or really schooling your kids at home because homeschooling has a different meaning for a lot of us right now with COVID and the different things that the different schools are doing in different parts of the country.
I want to help you create less stress and more simplicity through homeschooling, whether you are actually a homeschool family, or you have homeschooled in the past, or this is your first year deciding to homeschool. I know a lot of parents have decided to begin homeschooling their kids from now on. And then a lot of you are just schooling your kids at home because you have to, or you’ve chosen to with everything going on in the world.
Whatever the situation is, please know this episode is written for you by me. We’re going to take some perspective shifts and that’s all you’re going to need to make things a lot less stressful and a lot simpler.
Today is also the first day of Unburdened opening its doors again. I decided to open it this month. We usually do anyway, but I wasn’t sure if I was going to. But with what’s going on with back to school, how everyone’s feeling, and what the vibe has been in my Facebook community and on Instagram, I just knew this was the right thing to do.
We’re gonna go all in. We’re going to open it for about a week and call these women into this program that is going to bring them so much more simplicity. Earlier this year, Unburdened got a complete overhaul. We turned it into this five-week program and it’s so good. You really get walked through the mindset stuff.
These are the shifts you need to have. This is how you can actually, practically, and strategically implement simplicity into your life. This is where we’re going to cut things out. This is where we’re going to remove things off your plate.
This is what is worthy of your time and energy. This is what’s not. It is a life overhaul, a life coaching program, that I created. It is my favorite, favorite program, especially this year with everything going on.
All of the answers to all the DM’s and all the comments and emails that I have been getting since 2020 really started going downhill is Unburdened. You need to unburden yourself. You are carrying too much.
You are feeling the pull to do all the things. All the things are pulling at you. It’s a lot. It’s insane.
And it does not need to be this way. Unburdened is the anti-mom culture, mom-life course. It’s for you!
The doors opened today. There’s a payment plan. There’s all kinds of new stuff in there. It’s totally been overhauled this year.
It’s such a beautiful program. It is worth every penny and then times a hundred if you just get in there and you do the work. I promise. There is a community for you to join so that you have accountability. You can talk and ask questions. It’s so, so good!
This is deep work. People come in here and they go out the other side transformed. I’m so excited about it. I’m so excited we decided to open the doors again this fall.
It is open now. alliecasazza.com/unburndened. Or you can go to unburdened.life. That’s a URL that we purchased that goes straight to the Unburdened info page—unburdened.life. You can read about it, figure it out, and sign up for either a one-time payment or a payment plan.
We’re here. We’re available for you. I want to see you guys in there! I want to see your transformations in the community. I can’t wait!
I feel like this episode totally ties in with that because it is about simplicity, specifically to your kids at home. Even if you don’t homeschool your kids, I feel like these perspective shifts we’re going to go over today will really help you remove the burden from yourself and from them as your kids are going to school, doing homework, or whatever’s going on in your home.
I know a lot of you guys are a few weeks into school at this point, whatever that looks like for you. And a lot of you guys are doing school at home, or are officially homeschool families and you’re doing it for the first time. The second you get into any piece of the homeschool community, there is so much pressure.
There’s so much burden. There’s so much over-complication about homeschooling. It’s absolutely insane. You go try to research one little thing and it just feels like, “Oh my gosh, what’s happening? What did I just step into? Everyone’s insane. This is so overwhelming. All of these options.”
And not only options, but things that people say you have to make sure you do. If you don’t do it like this, then this is going to happen. If you don’t remember to include this, then your kids are going to struggle with this.
Then as if you weren’t already feeling that way enough, you get into any of the online communities and you see these other moms who are teaching their kids second and third languages. Their kids are becoming these amazing artists. All of these things are happening, and you just immediately feel like, “My gosh, I am missing out. My kids are missing out. I am failing at this so much harder than I already thought.”
You’ve got experts telling you that you need X, Y, & Z. You have to do this or that exact thing in this exact way. Make sure you do good by your kids. Don’t do them a disservice (as if we weren’t already feeling that internally.)
I think a lot of parents go into homeschooling and worry that they’re going to do their kids a disservice by not having them at school. Just deep breath all of that away, you guys. For real, let it go.
I know that you feel like you have to show up in an extremely extra way that feels really tight in your chest and back. I don’t feel this way anymore with my kids and their education, but even just as I’m talking to you guys about this and describing it, my middle back feels tight.
This is so heavy. We carry it in our bodies. This stress is affecting us. It’s really hard and heavy.
The first thing I want you to do after you take that deep breath and just let it go is I want you to relax expectations. I want you to relax expectations of yourself. You’re doing great!
I don’t care how many assignments have been missed. I don’t care how many times you’ve missed the class call. I don’t care how many things you have on your to-do list that have been totally basically set on fire now because they’re just not happening.
You are doing great! You. Right now.
Don’t think about the other people listening to this. Don’t think about me. Don’t think about so-and-so in your life.
You. Right now. You, girl. You’re doing great! Yes, everything considered, you are doing great.
Relax your expectations of yourself, please. Your kids need you to relax your expectations of yourself. I also want you to relax the expectations on your kids for them to sit still and focus for two seconds. For them to care about how hard it is for you to do this with them and how much you love them that you’re doing it anyway. Release the expectations that they would care about that.
Release expectations of behavior. Release expectations of performance. Release expectations of academic success.
Let it go because who is it serving? Who are these high expectations, these high tight-in-your-chest-and-back expectations serving? None of the people that you’re having them for. None of the people that you care about enough to do what you’re doing right now.
So why hold them? Especially when it’s your choice. Decide to let go. Just relax them.
It’s not about letting it all go and saying “who cares?” and doing nothing. It’s not about not having any expectations of your kids and just letting them run the show and do whatever they want. It’s certainly not about either of those things. But relax your expectations.
This is the moment we have been waiting for for months. Unburdened is open for enrollment!
Unburdened is my signature course. It is like life-coaching school with me.
I guarantee if you do what is in this course you will walk out the other side of this program a completely renewed, different, lighter version of yourself.
Nothing is crazy, nothing is like, “Oh my gosh. It’s so insanely time consuming. How am I going to do this with kids and doing their school and working?” It’s simple. It’s bite size and it packs a freaking punch.
Unburdened is a fan favorite program. It only opens a couple of times a year and this is it. The doors are closing on October 2nd at midnight.
Please take advantage of the fact that it’s here right now. The price is going up next time and it’s normally not available at all, so not only will you miss out on a lower cost, you will not even be able to get to it.
Unburdened will go over everything in your life, your internal, your mindset. It is a motherhood lifestyle coaching program.
The lessons pack such a serious punch. They are so pointed. They are so life-giving. You are going to want to go back, reference, and relisten to this course over and over and over again. I know because this is what my students have been telling me for years.
I love this course so much. I believe that this course is an absolute game changer for moms who are feeling like things have to be a little bit overwhelming all the time. Your mindset is skewed. The way that you’re interacting with your family and your kids just doesn’t feel quite like how you want it. You feel like even though maybe you have some things kind of simplified, things are still really heavy.
You need to be unburdened by getting enrolled into this program now. Absolutely, this is for you.
If you are a woman, if you are a mother and you feel like your lifestyle could be lighter, please go to unburdened.life. That’s the website. I want you to check out the info page. See if it’s for you.
There is a payment plan for you. I have got you so set up for success this time, guys. I am so excited about this. Go and check it out.
I want you to stop overthinking. I want you to stop spending money on everybody but yourself and think for a second, what would happen if you were a better, lighter, less stressed version of yourself? How would that affect you as a person? How would that affect your faith? How would that affect your marriage, your relationships? How would that affect your relationship with your children?
How would that affect how you show up everywhere you show up every single week if everything was simplified? If there were rhythms that were supporting you and how you live your life? If you looked forward to every day? If you looked forward to every week? If the things on your calendar that make you just drop a little bit inside, because you’re just over it, you don’t feel right doing it, something is off or something in your day just always feels stressful? If there’s a particular time of day that you always dread? If everything was just lighter?
There is always a way to figure it out. Don’t think that the way that your life is heavy on you is an exclusion to what I am saying. There is always, always a way to figure it out and make things lighter.
I’m obviously super passionate about this. I want to see you in there.
I want to walk you through these next few weeks of your life, really taking one step at a time, one bite-sized chunk at a time, of removing stress, infusing your life with intentionality, peace, life and joy, so you can stop living in this cycle of constant breathless overwhelm.
Unburdened.life. If you’re a woman, you’re a mom, this course will change your life.
Note: The audio of this episode says that the doors to Unburdened close October 1st, but I decided to extend it a day. They’ll close October 2nd at midnight PT.
Next, let’s shift into talking about this: Don’t focus on what your kids “should” be able to do. Don’t focus on what your kids “should” be able to do because they’re going to feel that pressure. They totally take that on. They can feel it. They know that you’re disappointed.
They can feel the pressure of, “I should be reading by now. Mom thinks I should be reading. I’m not reading and I feel the pressure. I don’t know what noise that letter makes. I know I’ve seen it before. I should know it. I’m panicking. I’m stupid. I’m dumb. I’m disappointing my mom. There’s pressure, stress, and tension here.”
They take it on. They absolutely can feel it. So don’t focus on what someone told you or what standards tell you your kids should be able to do at whatever age or stage they are, because they will feel that pressure and it only makes it harder for them to learn.
If you could really just take this, everything will shift for you. I want you to understand that really the only thing that matters is how homeschooling feels for you as the parent and how your child or children are experiencing being homeschooled. The only thing that really matters is how home education feels for you as the educator and the parent, and how it feels for your kids who are experiencing being educated at home.
So, if you’re following crazy rules, if you’re overwhelmed but just kind of pushing through, you’re going by due dates and expectations, you’re coming from this tight, heavy place, you’re missing out. You’re not lit up so they’re not lit up.
When you’re not excited, happy, calm, and good, your kids are not either because they go off of you. They really do. Even if they’re a little stubborn and they pretend like they don’t, they do.
Teach them math. Teach them history, science, and all those things. But there’s a way to do it from a different energy that produces a different feeling in your home. What is it going to take to get into that feeling?
Write this down right now. You can pause this episode if you need to. Write down right now these questions: How do you want to feel as a homeschooler? How do you want your kids to feel as kids who are being homeschooled?
Once you get clear on that, what needs to give for things to feel like that (if they’re not feeling that way right now)? What is causing it? What’s happening in the day? What’s going on in your mind? What’s going on in your schedule that’s keeping things from feeling that way?
Do you need to be more fluid in your schedule? Do you need to not do school in the morning? Do you need to let go of learning a specific subject right now and just make it a second half of the year sort of thing? Do you need to hire a tutor to help you?
Just do what you need to get done what you have to get done. And what is “have to”? If you do math a couple times a week, your kids are going to be fine. I don’t know anyone else that’s in the homeschool community that would say that, but I’m telling you because I’ve done it.
And my kids are great. They totally get math. They are doing great.
But at one point one year, some of them were not doing so great. Instead of pushing, forcing it, and having this control over the situation, this fear, just relax your expectations. Let them be humans. Let yourself be a human.
Realize that sometimes it’s just not going to be working out so well. Sometimes they need an extra year to be ready to read. Sometimes they need an extra two or three years.
Hey, it happens. Some of the smartest people, the biggest world changers in our world, didn’t read until they were 9 or 10. Look it up.
We all need to chill. Everyone needs to chill. The school system needs to frickin chill out. The homeschool community needs to chill.
Trust that it’s all going to add up. Your consistency will add up. Do some school together every day. Read.
Give them your positive energy. Give them your excitement. Choose to stay positive. Choose to focus on what really matters, and that’s how things feel.
Do some math worksheets. Work on penmanship. Learn history together. Do science experiments. Your consistency will add up to your kids knowing what they need to know.
And hey, if you need permission to delegate, if you need permission to send your kids to a Kumon tutoring center, hire a private tutor, or whatever floats your boat, you do that. My kids were in a Kumon tutoring center all last school year. Not all of them, but the two that were struggling—one with reading and English and the other with math.
Now one of my kids has an ADHD coach. And she’s incredible. She helps so much. You don’t have to do everything.
And this isn’t a discussion about budget. It’s a discussion about permission and expectations that need to be released because it’s killing your memories and how you want this experience to feel for both you and your kids. You have such limited energy every day, right? So give that energy to, “How is this feeling? How can I make this day feel really good, enjoyable, and connected with my kids?”
Don’t give it to, “We’re supposed to be here, but we’re only here. We better catch up. We’ve got to do 18 math sheets today. Hey guys, come on down. I need to talk to you. Today is going to be hard because we are behind. You’ve been lazy, and this is what we’re going to do today.”
Give your limited energy to, “How is this feeling? How can I make this consistent, enjoyable, and connective?”
Also, please know that it doesn’t have to be complicated to do school at home with your kids. Your space doesn’t need to be full of crap you don’t need. Things can just be so much simpler.
Side note: I know we’re talking about Unburdened right now, but I do have the Simplify Your Homeschool course, and it is selling like crazy because people need help. If you need to simplify it, I’ll literally give you a 10% off code right now. Go get it.
I’ll put it in show notes for this episode. If you use the code PURPOSESHOW, go and get a discount right now. It’s already a cheap course.
Go, get in there, clear the junk out of your space, out of your schedule, out of your mind, when it comes to doing school at home with your kids. Then get yourself in Unburdened and invest in you, your family, your life, and how your days feel.
Ladies, we have got to take back our power, take back our control, and stop giving it up to someone else’s expectations, to someone else’s due dates, deadlines, and feelings of how things should go, how school should be, and where our kids should be.
Take back your control and decide, “This is going to be simple because I’m done. And I say it is.”
Get the Simplify Your Homeschool course. Let me help you. I’m good at this. Let another woman come alongside you and help you out.
Get into Unburdened. Create rhythms and simplicity in your life. Automate things so that you don’t have to think about so many decisions every freaking day. Make things easier on yourself.
Say, “yes” to ease and flow and stop forcing and pushing so much. It’s just bringing yourself so far down. And because you feel like that your family feels that.
I just want you to focus on the feelings. How does it feel to homeschool your kids? How does it feel for your kids to be home educated right now? And know that if it’s not how you want it, if it’s not good, it doesn’t have to be like that for one more second.
I’m here to help you, and you can help yourself. Please know that.
If you want the links to all these things, you can go to alliecasazza.com/shownotes/180.
Go to Unburdened.life to learn all about that course. This only opens a couple of times a year at most. It’s open right now. It’s open for the next few days.
This is a big push for this time of the year to get you guys to really create simplicity before the holidays hit, get yourself in a rhythm with your schooling, with your momming, with everything that’s a part of your life and all the different hats you wear, and feel so much lighter.
It’s called Unburdened for a reason.
If you want that homeschool course, and you want to use that PURPOSESHOW 10% off coupon code, go to the show notes page. Be my guest, girl. I am here to support you.
Know that I’m in your corner, know that I’m always rooting for you, and know that if something is displeasing to you right now, it’s not feeling good, it does not have to stay that way.
You have the power to turn it all around right now. I love you guys so much! Have an amazing rest of your week.
Thanks so much for hanging out with me! In case you didn’t know, there’s actually an exclusive community that’s been created solely for the purpose of continuing discussions around The Purpose Show episodes. It’s designed to get you to actually take action and make the positive changes that we talk about here. I want you to go and be a part of it. To do that, go to alliecasazza.com/facebookgroup.
Thank you so much for tuning in! If you’d like to learn more about me, how I can help you, how you can implement all these things and more into your life to make it simpler, better, and more abundant, head to alliecasazza.com. There are free downloads, online courses, programs, and other resources to help you create the life you really want.
I am always rooting for you, friend! See you next time! I’m Allie Casazza and this is The Purpose Show.
Hey mama! Just a quick note, this post may contain affiliate links.