I’m giving you a quick and powerful episode today. I’m telling you what to do, what action steps to take to beat overwhelm in any area of your life. Let’s dive in!
In This Episode Allie Discusses:
Action steps to beat overwhelm
Mentioned in this Episode:
Courses (Use the code PURPOSESHOW for 10% off!)
Mom life. We’re surrounded by the message that it’s the tired life. The no-time-for-myself life. The hard life. We’re supposed to get through it. Survive. Cling on by the last little thread. And at the same time, Carpe Diem—enjoy every moment because it’s going to go by so fast. The typical mom culture that sends us all kinds of mixed, typically negative messages. We shouldn’t take care of ourselves; it’s selfish. The more ragged you run yourself, the bigger your badge of honor. But also, ditch your mom bod and work out. Don’t yell. Make more money. Show up. Be better, but not at the expense of time with your kids. I am putting a hard stop to all of this. While being a mom, running a business, and whatever else you might have going on is hard, it is a lot and there’s lots of giving of yourself, the idea that motherhood means living a joyless, nonstop-hustle-with-zero-balance kind of life, where you give and give and give and never take, needs to stop.
I’m on a mission to help you stop counting down the minutes till bedtime (at least most days). Stop the mom guilt and shame game. Stop cleaning up after your kids’ childhood and start being present for it. I want to help you thrive in work, home and life. I believe in John 10:10 that we are called to living an abundant life and I know moms are not excluded from that promise. Join me in conversations about simplicity, some business and life hacks, spirituality and lots of other good stuff that leads to a life of less for the sake of enjoying more in your motherhood. I’m Allie Casazza and this is The Purpose Show.
Hi, loves! Welcome to another episode of The Purpose Show podcast. I’m so excited that you’re here with me and I am just going to jump right in.
I want this to be a quick and powerful episode. I’ve literally got 12 minutes before I need to hop off, so I am squeezing this one in. I’m super inspired, it’s on me, and I cannot not talk about this right now.
I want to talk about overwhelm because this is something that lands in my DM’s almost on an hourly basis. No, not really. But for sure daily. And I get it with everything from teaching business, starting up a business, running a business to stay at home moms who are experiencing overwhelm.
Just overwhelm, overwhelm, overwhelm in every area of life.
So, I’m going to give you a secret. I’m gonna tell you what to do. I know you guys love it when I tell you what to do.
I don’t do it super often because I want you to figure out the answers yourself. But with this, I have a hack. And it’s super simple because that’s what I do. I’m gonna give it to you today because I love you.
When you are experiencing overwhelm, no matter what area it’s in (but for the sake of this episode we’re going to use an example of just being a mom, being at home where it’s just a total crap show).
You are overwhelmed. Maybe you have work to do. Maybe you have a ton of laundry to do. You are behind.
You feel like you’re getting pulled in a million different directions at once. Everything needs your attention and you feel like you cannot give it to anything.
The kids are just going insane. It literally is an actual crap show and you’re so overwhelmed. As overused as it is, that is the only word that describes what you’re feeling.
Overwhelm comes from thinking about the future and not knowing what to focus on. Even in the moment-by-moment overwhelm, when you are at home and you are just doing day-to-day mom stuff and you are overwhelmed, in some way, shape or form, you are probably thinking about the future.
Whether that is 15 minutes from now when so-and-so finally comes over for dinner, walks in, everything is a disaster and you’re embarrassed because you’re supposed to be hosting and it’s a disaster.
Or whether it’s the end of the day and all you want is to watch The Crown on Netflix, put your feet up and chill and you can’t because you’re so behind (or you’re telling yourself you can’t because you’re so behind).
It’s always a choice. It doesn’t have to be that way, but that’s what you’re telling yourself, right? Whatever it is, you’re thinking of the future in some way.
Or you’re overwhelmed by parenting because you’re thinking of the future. How are your kids are going to turn out? How is that reflecting on you? What does that mean on you if they don’t turn out well? What does “turning out well’ even mean? Or even look like? And that’s overwhelming.
In some way, when you experience overwhelm, you are thinking of the future. You’re worrying about the future. Whether that is far in the future, just around the corner, or a few minutes from now.
Also, you’re not sure what to focus on and so you get overwhelmed because there are a lot of options. Just like I am always saying that clutter is basically just a bunch of unmade decisions, overwhelm comes from not knowing which decision to make.
What I want you to do when you get overwhelmed in anything—Business babes, you can translate this to what work to focus on. Mamas, you can translate this to standing in your living room, with your kids going psycho all around you—is stop, pause, feel your feet on the floor, get mindful and present in this moment.
You do not need to feel zen. You do not need to be a guru. You do not need to be Jesus. You just need to get into the moment.
Because if overwhelm comes from thinking about the future and not knowing which decision to make about what to do and what to focus on, then let’s get into the moment real quick. It can take one second. I’m explaining this process to you, but it literally could be less than a second. Just come into the moment.
I want you to just think for a second, “What is one thing that I could do that would be productive? That would feel good to get done?”
You do not need to be thinking, “What’s the most bang for my buck of something I could do here. What’s something that I could do that would be moving the needle forward in my day the most?”
You do not need to do the most productive thing. You do not need to do the most effective, efficient thing.
There is no right thing. Let’s get this through your head. There is no right decision for what to do next. There is no wrong decision of what to do next.
You’re overwhelmed because there are options. If there are options that means that there’s really no right or wrong choice. It’s just all there. It all needs to be done. And that’s why you’re overwhelmed.
Plus unconsciously, you’re kind of thinking about the future and what is this going to mean for your kids? What is it going to mean for your day? What is it going to mean for your business?
On a big scale of, “Am I going to make the money I need to make this month in my business?”
And on a small scale of, “Am I going to get this email out to my list tonight on time?”
Or, “Am I going to get the house cleaned up so I can have my kid’s birthday party tomorrow without yelling like a basket case because I’m stressed out?”
Whatever the effect is—big or small scale, short or long term—in some way you’re unconsciously thinking about the future. There are a bunch of choices to make and you don’t know which one to focus on.
I’m going to walk through it again. When you feel overwhelmed, pause, feel your feet on the floor, get grounded, maybe take a breath and focus on your breathing for just one breath, one second. This is a total of 1-2 seconds.
Then I want you to just pick something. What is one thing that you could do that would move the needle forward? What is one thing you can do that would feel productive?
Even if it is just going to pee, because amongst all of this you have also noticed that your bladder is full. Literally, pick one thing.
Maybe it’s doing the dishes. Maybe it’s having your oldest kid go through the house and put all of the trash that they see in a trash bag while you go pee and switch the laundry.
Whatever it is. Just pick one thing.
If it’s a work thing, if it’s work overwhelm, maybe just sit down and get some super zen music in your headphones, pull out your laptop, and you write an email to your list.
You just create value, send it to people, move the needle forward, and create a deeper relationship with your audience.
And that was just one thing that you did. Yeah, there’s still a bunch of the stuff on the to-do list. Yeah, you’re still a little behind.
Yeah, there’s more you could have done. And yeah, maybe there’s something else that you could have done that’s arguably better than the thing you picked. But you got something done.
So, I’m going to say it again. If overwhelm comes from fear of the future—kind of unconsciously but it is there; big or small, it is there—and not knowing which thing to focus on because there’s so much you could choose from, then get into your body for a second, get into this moment and stop unconsciously thinking about the future.
Stop thinking about tonight. Stop thinking about five minutes from now. Get into your body now. Then just pick one thing.
And again, going to pee counts. That’s how simple this is. That’s how simple I want you to allow this to be.
I also want you to be aware that sometimes we allow overwhelm into our day. We allow ourselves to experience overwhelm because it feels like this badge of honor. Like you’ve lived through a super overwhelming day and that made you a better mom.
That made you more worthy of the rest you’re going to seek later tonight. That made you more worthy of avoiding intimacy with your partner because you’re just exhausted, and like, “You don’t even know. Let me just tell you about my day.”
It’s made you more worthy of something, or you’re using overwhelm to prove your worth. So be careful.
Please know, and this is one of those hard truths that may not sit well with everyone and that’s okay, but overwhelm is always just a reaction. It’s a human, natural reaction to fear of the future and not knowing which thing to focus on.
And staying there is a choice. It is. I know that sucks. It sucks. It just absolutely sucks.
But if that’s true, then actually this is something to be celebrated. This is a burden off your back. This is lightness for you because it means that you are in control. You are not a victim anymore to overwhelm.
And that sometimes takes the mask off that you didn’t realize you were hiding behind. And other times it’s completely fraying and you don’t even know what I’m talking about when I say that it could be a mask you’re hiding behind because that’s not what you’re doing.
Just be aware. Be aware of how overwhelm is affecting you. How you’ve maybe been using overwhelm to hide. Using overwhelm to avoid. Using overwhelm as an excuse.
And hey, next time you are actually experiencing overwhelm, I just gave you a tool for your toolkit to pull out and actually have action steps to take to beat it. So, you’re welcome.
Everything’s okay. You’re doing a great job. You don’t have to prove your worth. You are worthy because you are.
Overwhelm is a choice. And that is a giant dose of freedom for you today.
Thanks so much for hanging out with me! In case you didn’t know, there’s actually an exclusive community that’s been created solely for the purpose of continuing discussions around The Purpose Show episodes. It’s designed to get you to actually take action and make the positive changes that we talk about here. I want you to go and be a part of it. To do that, go to alliecasazza.com/facebookgroup.
Thank you so much for tuning in! If you’d like to learn more about me, how I can help you, how you can implement all these things and more into your life to make it simpler, better, and more abundant, head to alliecasazza.com. There are free downloads, online courses, programs, and other resources to help you create the life you really want.
I am always rooting for you, friend! See you next time! I’m Allie Casazza and this is The Purpose Show.
Hey mama! Just a quick note, this post may contain affiliate links.