I recorded this episode live with the women who pre-ordered my book! We did a live Q&A where they got to ask me questions and we got to chat and hang out. Our conversations were amazing and so packed with helpful information. I can’t wait for you to hear it! Let’s jump in!

In this episode Allie  discusses: 

• How to not get stuck on the “mess”

• How to ditch things without guilt and/or fear 

• Clutter crutches 

• Sentimental Items

• How to build a business with little kids at home

• Homeschooling 

• Moving 

• Toys

• Wardrobe

• Hobby Supplies

• Photos

•  

Mentioned in this Episode:

Instagram

Courses (Use the code PURPOSESHOW for 10% off!)

The Purpose Show Facebook Community

Your Uncluttered Home

Declutter Like A Mother Book

EP 159: Purposing Your Purpose with Little Kids

Uncluttered Kids

Mom life. We’re surrounded by the message that it’s the tired life. The no-time-for-myself life. The hard life. We’re supposed to get through it. Survive. Cling on by the last little thread. And at the same time, Carpe Diem—enjoy every moment because it’s going to go by so fast. The typical mom culture that sends us all kinds of mixed, typically negative messages. We shouldn’t take care of ourselves; it’s selfish. The more ragged you run yourself, the bigger your badge of honor. But also, ditch your mom bod and work out. Don’t yell. Make more money. Show up. Be better, but not at the expense of time with your kids. I am putting a hard stop to all of this. While being a mom, running a business, and whatever else you might have going on is hard, it is a lot and there’s lots of giving of yourself, the idea that motherhood means living a joyless, nonstop-hustle-with-zero-balance kind of life, where you give and give and give and never take, needs to stop. 

I’m on a mission to help you stop counting down the minutes till bedtime (at least most days). Stop the mom guilt and shame game. Stop cleaning up after your kids’ childhood and start being present for it. I want to help you thrive in work, home and life. I believe in John 10:10 that we are called to living an abundant life and I know moms are not excluded from that promise. Join me in conversations about simplicity, some business and life hacks, spirituality and lots of other good stuff that leads to a life of less for the sake of enjoying more in your motherhood. I’m Allie Casazza and this is The Purpose Show.

Hi, love! Welcome to The Purpose Show podcast. I’m so excited to be hanging out with you today! 

This episode is something new. I’m really excited about it because I’ve never done anything like this before. I loved it so much. I definitely want to do it again. 

This episode was actually recorded as a live Q & A with a bunch of you guys, the women in my online community. I did this live zoom room call with the women who had pre-ordered my book, Declutter Like A Mother, super early. 

We did this virtual room hangout together where they were able to ask me questions as they were selected, and then I would respond. I love this because there’s actually dialogue. 

You know I’m super big on doing Q&As on all the platforms that I show up on, including here on The Purpose Show, but they’re usually written submissions. It’s easy, helpful, and it’s great. But this was really fun because I could see these women, hear them, and it just felt a lot more intimate. 

The call was so great. It was always going to be an episode of The Purpose Show. That’s what they were told—that they were doing The Purpose Show live. But after the call was over, I was extra excited to have this be an episode. It’s really packed with helpful information. 

Some of the stuff I’m not sure I’ve said in other places. The way that these women so vulnerably and openly share their issues, their struggles, and where they’re stuck was so helpful. Everyone that submitted questions and showed up was vulnerable in a digital room full of strangers, sharing space with me and trusting me to help.

My gosh, thank you! It means so much to me! You’re all beautiful. You did such a good job. These topics and questions are incredible. 

Enjoy listening to this episode. I would stick around till the end because every single question was so good. I really, really love the content here. Please enjoy. 

QUESTIONER: How do you remind yourself that you’re living an uncluttered life when there’s a mess going on, it feels really cluttered, and you’re like, “I am doing this. I am living this way, but I don’t want to get so focused that it’s a mess right now.”? It’s crazy. I have four little kids, so it feels crazy a lot. 

ALLIE: Yeah, absolutely. Same. 

I think the expectation that it should be a certain way is so big right now, especially because of the minimalist community. It took over for so long. It kind of became its own entity and there became this stereotypical expectation that now there’s never going to be a mess. 

But there are still humans living in your home. Those humans still have clothes. They still have toys. They still have shoes. There are still papers coming in and things coming from all corners, and it’s okay. 

It’s okay that there are things. I have to remind myself of this all the time, because “Oh, I’m Allie Casazza and all of a sudden everything should be perfect.” 

No, it’s not. It’s just not like that. It’s never supposed to be, and that’s not the message. 

If you have unrealistic expectations of what your space and your life are supposed to look like, then this whole mission is no longer serving you. It’s running you. And that’s the opposite of the point. So, check your expectations. 

Even in this move that I’m going through right now, there’s stuff that’s come up that I’m like, “Wow! I think there are even more layers to releasing things that aren’t serving me after all these years.” There are still more layers. And I’m cool with that. 

I’m cool with there being layers. I’m cool with there being a process. I’m okay to look at what isn’t serving me and what’s feeling heavy. I look at it, label it and give it a name, then come up with a plan to get it in its place. 

My things and the weight of life are real, but they don’t get to steal from me anymore. It did for so long. It got a good chunk of my life and a good chunk of my motherhood for sure. And it doesn’t get to come in and do that anymore. 

If you can get it out of the dark, give it a label, see what it is, and say, “It’s this that’s making me feel heavy,” then you can come up with a plan. Then you can be the action-taking, problem-solving woman. 

You can brainstorm a healthy plan, come up with options, and say, “Okay, I don’t have these expectations where it always has to be perfect all the time. But I also am empowered. I’m in ownership of myself, my space, and my life. I’m going to label what’s feeling heavy and come up with a plan to fix it. Communicate boundaries to others, if that’s what it takes. Get rid of some shit if that’s what it takes. Whatever it’s going to take to get it lighter.” 

That’s your power. You always have that choice. Does that help?

QUESTIONER: Yeah. I think it’s just hard for me to let go of the controlling aspect of it because in my mind I would rather just say, “Just ditch everything. Why do we even have toys?” But they are important to my kids. 

ALLIE: Have you guys seen the quote graphic going around that says, “Your kids are your lessons.”? I’ve been really thinking about that lately. Instead of kids just being kids and us thinking we have to wait for them to grow up to really have a relationship with them in a certain way. Or us thinking they’re in the way and we’ve got to get them out so we can do things. 

Instead of seeing them like that, really seeing them as lessons. If you’re feeling like your kids and their stuff is bringing out of you this need to control, what can you learn from that? And yes, we want an uncluttered space, but things are not clutter. Clutter is clutter. 

I don’t know if that hits you guys the way it hits me, but clutter is clutter. Having things is not clutter. This is not clutter. These screws that hold my favorite art in the wall are not clutter. 

There are still things you need. You still need screwdrivers, notepads, pencils, and shoes. And it’s nice to have more than three pairs of jeans. Do you know what I mean? 

Things are not clutter. Clutter is clutter. 

Kids come with things. If it’s causing you to react like, “Man, I’m fearful that this is going to get to be too much.” Or, “Now I’m going to have more to clean or to control or grab,” it’s not serving you anymore. You’re working for it, and “it” is the expectation that comes from this lifestyle. 

What’s the lesson? If the need to control is there, what is it? Sometimes it’s just as simple as feeling out of control of a lot of other things and projecting that out onto my kids and their stuff, because I’ve been through this process. It was really hard and I don’t want to go back there and every birthday and holiday just feels like I’m getting further and further from it. 

There’s something to be dug into everywhere. Everything that brings up something in us is a lesson. And sometimes just unclogging that is the best decluttering. That is the cheesiest thing I’ve ever said, but I stand by it.

QUESTIONER: How do you get past the fear of, “What if I might use it? We might use it down the road.” How do you just ditch it without that guilt?

ALLIE: Worrying you’re going to need it later? There are a lot of different angles with this one, but the main one is this: What if you never needed it again, but you keep it and it takes up space and time for as long as you live?  

What if I lose some weight and get rid of my bigger jeans and then I go through life and a year later I gained the weight back? What in my life is really impacted by that? Other than $40 or $50 or however much you spend on your jeans? You know what I mean? 

I think we sometimes get panicked at the thought of releasing because releasing feels like losing, but it’s not. We have to look at what we’re gaining when we let go of things. Do you guys see how emotional and how spiritual decluttering is? It’s not just, “Oh, I’m going to clean up and get organized.” 

You are purging. There are emotions and stuff tied to your things. It’s not easy breezy. It’s not like that. 

There’s one personality type that this is very easy for, and it’s not mine. And if it’s not yours, it’s okay.

With the ‘what ifs,’ what if you never needed it again and you’ve been holding onto it all this time? What if you let it go and you do need it again? 

Tell me an item that if you let go it would be like, “Oh, Allie, I need it!” 

What item is going to send you careening into a pit of despair? You know what I mean? 

When I started all this, we were so broke. Twenty dollars would break us or make us. It was so bad. 

I did have that fear. I definitely did have it. I would timidly start to let some things go and then think, “Oh my gosh, let me wait and see what happens.” And I’d wait and see if it was going to be okay. 

Over time you evolve and you gain that confidence. I never had anything that was like, “Well, I’ve ruined my life.” It’s never even happened.

I think we lost stuff, and thought, “Oh shoot, where is that? We gotta buy it again,” like anyone else, but that’s never even happened. And if it had, when is that going to be catastrophic? If you ask me it all piles up. 

It is catastrophic to lose your energy. Guys, I was losing my frigging motherhood to just stuff. That is catastrophic. That is tragic. 

So what if I’m holding onto this post-it, this napkin, this bowl, this journal, that planner from last year even though the year is over, like just in case. Just in case of what?

I think we let fear run things so often and then the thing that we’re afraid of ends up happening. You’re afraid that you’re going to miss out if you let go of that thing, but you’re actually missing out by holding onto it. Weigh the options.

When I was doing one-on-one work, there were so many times where this would come up. This was the most common thing, other than problems with husbands getting on board with decluttering. Every single time I’d say, “Okay, let’s just pretend you let this go and then down the line, you really wish you had that Gold’s Turkey plate, or whatever random thing it was. What happens? 

You’re making this big beast in your mind to make it okay to not make decisions, because moms have decision fatigue every second of every day. Clutter is all just unmade decisions. You get to the point where you have to make a bunch of decisions and it is hard. 

You guys, it’s okay that it’s hard. It’s hard to make more decisions when that’s the last thing you want to do. And so, to kind of get out of it and relieve yourself, you gotta do more decision-making first. And that sucks. 

When you get to the point of making decisions, your ego brain is thinking, “How can I get myself out of this?”

You start to make excuses. Fear comes in and it’s this mixed bag of getting yourself out of actually doing the thing that’s going to set you free. So what if you get rid of something and you need it later? 

Find an item that is detrimental. If you find that item, you should probably keep it. I can think of a car, your wedding dress, or something precious with all of these memories. 

I don’t know if I’ve ever told this story, but when I got married there was a miscommunication between my parents and I about who was going to do what with the dress. I thought they were going to take it to get it preserved, help pay for it, and pick it up. 

I thought it was a gift. Well, it wasn’t, and I couldn’t pay to go get it. I was too embarrassed to say anything so my dress got donated to some Catholic church and I never saw it again.

Does it impact my life? No. I was sad. I cried for a minute on the curb outside. 

The dry cleaner guy felt so bad and tried to find it for me. Brian was really sad for a second. But we went on and had a million babies and started a business and like, who cares? 

That sucked. I was sad. I probably would’ve kept it maybe for Bella or something. I don’t know. But ultimately, it didn’t impact my life. It didn’t really do anything. 

I think we over-exaggerate the fear. We let it win and we think, “You know what? I better keep this just in case.” How many drawers, cupboards, closets do you have full of ‘just in cases’? 

There’s no ‘just in case’ for your frigging life and for your energy vault that’s very small. And stuff is sucking it. It’s got a funnel and it’s just sucking it out when that could be used to start an empire or raise your kids the way you actually want to raise them instead of screaming at them all the time when you know that’s not what you want to do. 

There’s so much else you could put your energy in. So what if that happens? And it probably is happening. 

Let’s shift the ‘what if’ to what is actually worth worrying about for a minute. I hope that answers your question and thank you for listening to my rant. 

This is so good. It can serve you. Let this method be a tool in your toolkit as a mom to give you more time and energy, but don’t make it your identity. 

Don’t freak out if you overpack. Who cares? If you don’t have the money to pay for the big suitcase or you don’t have the space to overpack, then don’t overpack. Make decisions. But don’t make yourself miserable because it’s not what a minimalist would do. Who cares?  

QUESTIONER: We moved houses 12 months ago and we have a beautiful double garage full of boxes. Where do I start? 

ALLIE: I love this question because the garage is always the clutter crutch. There’s a whole chapter in the book that’s coming out about the clutter crutch. It’s this whole thing.

It’s different to open your closet, start pulling things out and making decisions. It’s another thing to open a door and the entire room is decision-city and you just want to avoid it. 

This is what I would do. This is what I found helpful. I’m going to try to say it in a non-annoying way because my answer is to just start. That’s so annoying. I’m going to redact that and say it in a different way. 

Emma, how could you make this fun? How could you bring joy in it? Could you bring a friend in? Can you offer to buy pizza and beer and make it super fun? 

I’ve brought my laptop out to play The Office while I declutter. Have some wine. Do something to make it fun. 

Get your kids out, or have them help if that’s fun for you, but probably not. Make some way that it’s not a joy suck. Then just go in and pick up one box. 

Don’t even look at the label. Just grab a box, bring it inside, and get down on the floor. That’s another hack. You can get it out of the space it was in and then it’s not this visual of a hundred boxes in a room.

You’re in your living room, you’ve got some tea, and you’re watching a show or listening to music. It’s okay. It’s fun. 

There’s no timeline. It’s not like you have to get this done right now. It’s going to set you free and you want to make progress. Let’s make it enjoyable, so you’re more likely to come back to the scene of the situation.

Then just open that box and make decisions. That’s it. What am I going to do? 

If I’m keeping it, where is it going to live? What would I wear it with? Where would I keep it? 

If it’s trash, put it in the trash pile. If it’s donate, put it in the donation pile. Start having those regular drop-offs at the donation center, the women’s shelter, or wherever you’re going to take your things that you’re not keeping. 

Go slowly, but surely. Even if you only get through one box, that’s progress. It’s better than what everyone else does, which is avoid, avoid, avoid. Then they stop caring and they’re sick of seeing my social media lives talking about clutter because it reminds them of how much they didn’t declutter and they just unfollow and leave and never do it. 

Slow and steady. Release expectations. Make it a game. 

Play into your strengths. I’m really competitive, so when I make things a competition with myself (which is so embarrassing, but that’s where I’m at and it’s weird, but it works), I win at everything. So I will declutter the whole garage at night if I somehow found a way to. If somebody challenged me to declutter my garage by Saturday, it would be done before then. 

What is your strength? Do you need it to be fun? Do you need ‘me’ time? Can you get the kids out, honor yourself, give yourself some ‘me’ time and then just go through a box at the end? Hack your own life and make it happen. Make sense?

QUESTIONER: Yeah. That’s brilliant. The competitiveness really resonates with me, so I’ll take that and run with it. That was perfect. Thanks so much. 

ALLIE: You’re welcome. 

QUESTIONER: When I’m looking at my sentimental things, I feel like if I get rid of them, I’ll forget. Mostly what I’m thinking about is when I was a child, or a teenager, and in college. When I look at those things and I open them up I think, “Oh yeah, I remember that time that I did that!” 

I feel like I don’t remember them just spontaneously as life goes on. I need to go through my old stuff to be reminded of those fun things. I feel like my past will be erased if I get rid of them. It’s really stressful. 

ALLIE: Totally valid. That’s completely normal. There are so many layers. 

Let’s not villainize things. Isn’t it beautiful that things can bring up beauty for you? Be grateful for that. 

I think we don’t want to villainize items or villainize having things and keeping memorabilia from things. It’s so beautiful. I have a pretty big box of keepsakes, things that I’ve decided is worth my space. 

I used to lug around 50 boxes house to house when we would move. Now it’s one good box filled with the gloves I wore to prom when I fell in love with Brian, love letters, and things like that that are worthy of the space.

Decide on a space. One bin is just for me; maybe yours is too. Maybe you have a really big,  large tote that you get. Those big ones that are for outdoor storage. 

You do what you want to do. There are no rules here. There are only things that are going to help you or hurt you. So, what’s going to help support you in remembering some of your memories?

I always say that if everything is marked as special just because it elicits a memory, then really you’ve lost all special things, because that kind of defeats the purpose if it’s not a small amount of items. 

You get to define the space. What are you cool carrying around with you? How much stuff are you okay moving from place to place? 

I don’t know if you move a lot, but if you were to move a lot, what are you okay with moving place to place versus it feeling like, “Well, now I’m just lugging around stuff because it feels like I’m afraid to make a decision because I might lose the memory.” If it falls in that category, put it in a pile. 

If it falls in that, ‘I’m happy to move/I hope I pass it onto my kids/I hope I always have this/I want to always have this around me’ then put it in another pile. You’re not doing ‘keep/trash/donate’; you’re making ‘sentimentality’ piles. 

Then the other thing I want to say is what if there was a way for you to look at what’s sentimental that brings up beautiful memories and instead of it living in a tote somewhere in your garage, put it to use? Could you frame the photos? I’ve even had people frame pieces of clothing or take fabrics out of the clothing, make a quilt, and put that somewhere special and cozy. 

We all know these ideas of repurposing special things. Are there things in the really special pile that you could actually use so that you are truly surrounded by your best memories instead of them just being in a box for you to go through. How many times do you think you’ll go through it over the course of your life? Six, seven times?

Those things are beautiful, but I’m not going to be visiting it that often, so I want to make sure it’s not a lot. That’s relative to me and that’s relative to you. 

So what could you use? Could you actually eat off the china? Wear the necklace on date nights? Take the fabric from your mom’s wedding dress and put it on something that you wear all the time? 

For the things that are special and bring up memories but are just not really worth the space, there are lots of things you can do with those too. There was a blanket that my great grandmother had made and it was just destroyed. I found a picture of her sewing it, so I got that picture and framed it. 

It’s in my house, so I don’t need to keep the blanket. You know what I mean? Things like that.

Take a picture of it and put it on the cloud. You can have a folder in your Google drive or Evernote or whatever you use, that’s ‘special memories’ and you could literally open it up, scroll through the pictures, and be refreshed with those sweet memories. 

I also do this in my iPhone notes of things my kids say so I can search the term ‘funny memory’ and see all things funny. Make your devices work for you and support you, and then release the physical things. I don’t need to keep the leaf that Emmett gave me because I wrote it in my phone. 

I have that backed up and I can search for that and be reminded of it anytime. I even took a picture of him the day he gave me the leaf and put it in the phone note. Frame it, put it around you. 

Repurpose it. Utilize it. Eat off of the dishes. Wear the necklace. Wear the dress. Put the quilt over your couch until it wears out. Surround yourself with what love. 

Then the rest of it, you can release, because you’ve saved it. You’ve captured it. With those three options of capturing it, using it, and then going ahead and just keeping it, does that feel better to you?

QUESTIONER: Yeah. I have a tote, just like you’re saying. I always feel like I need to go through it, which is once every five years. Maybe I get rid of a couple of things every time, but hardly anything because I feel like I’m going to forget. But I feel like that’s a good size, that tote, like you’re saying, that I’m willing to carry around.

ALLIE: And what’s the big deal? It’s one box for the lifetime of memories. At this point in my life, I’m okay with that. 

I also wanted to point out that you said, because I found this for myself too. You said every time you open it, there are a couple of things you go ahead and let go of, so you see how you evolve? 

You get less fear-based and more comfortable releasing things because you know ultimately you do have the memories and there are other ways to hold on to them. You don’t have to keep everything. 

I just want to point out that you are doing great and you already said so many things that are amazing. You’re making progress and your stuff is not owning you from what it sounds like. You will always keep growing, you will always keep evolving and be able to release more and more each time, even with stuff you haven’t seen in five years. That’s amazing. 

QUESTIONER: I have two young kids—a preschooler and a toddler. I just resigned from my full time position to start my own business and I’m trying to figure out how to prioritize what’s most important to do, streamline it, and keep it simple.

I know being in front of my social media followers is important. Blogging is important. But after that, how do I keep it simple?

ALLIE: I love this question because you can declutter anything and I love talking about business, so thanks for asking it. 

First thing that comes up is you can run your business any way that you want to. Yes, social media is helpful, but it’s just a tool. When you start to feel like you’re working for it and you have to show up and you feel that obligation, you’re going to get super resentful of your audience. 

Then, that energy is going to be locked inside of you and it’s going to come out in your launches, in your emails, and in your photos. We’re always picking up on signals and things that are unconscious every time we interact with someone. 

So if resentment is inside of you, your audience will subconsciously pick up on it and you will see your numbers tank. It will affect you. So it’s probably better to not even have social media if that ever happens, right? 

You need to know that you’re not a worker anymore. You’re a CEO. And you get to decide what works in your business, what is a piece of it and what isn’t. 

Know that you always have options. You can always streamline by dropping something. If you have been on social media and then you drop it, yeah, you’re probably gonna see an effect of that, but ultimately it is possible to have a thriving business. 

I wish I could think of her name so I could shout her out. I can’t think of her name because I don’t see her on my story every day, but I get her emails and she is a multi-million dollar online business owner and she doesn’t do social media.

Anything is possible. Really. Anything really is. So I just wanted to give you that freedom. 

And for everyone listening, you are never bound to something that someone else created. This is your game and you get to rig it in your favor however you want. There’s always another way. 

Having said that, if you’re doing social media and you’re blogging, I love all of those things, that’s how I got here. It’s so beautiful, such a gift, and such a pathway to incredible growth and to a lot of other minds that would benefit from your knowledge. 

Let’s get to working from a place of rest. How could you plan your social media content from an internal state of, “I’m focused on this. The kids are good. Things are good. I’m clear. And I’m going to take an hour, go all in on this, focus on this, and I’m making it feel good.” 

Let’s go back to the decluttering conversation we just had about making some tea, pouring yourself a glass of wine, and making it fun. Can you sit outside in the sunshine? You guys know it’s my favorite thing. 

The sun is a content creating machine somehow. I swear sitting out there is so invigorating. How can you do that, Jennifer? How can you think outside the box, get away from the desk, away from worker-bee thought process and work from a place that feels really good? 

Can you create space for your business, even if it’s slivers at night or early in the morning? When I was getting up at 10 till 4 every morning, that was the best time of my business. It was so fun. 

I made it so fun. I looked forward to it. And every once in a while, I miss those really early mornings where I felt like not even God was awake, like it was just me and my laptop and it was awesome. 

So even when it’s hard and you’re trying to squeeze it in, there are always options if you’re in a positive mindset to create ease and flow and to create this amazing oasis of focus and work on what you’re doing, even if it’s late at night or whatever. Try to get outside of the box and think about it that way. 

I had four kinds under five and it was so hard. In that time, one of the best practices was getting on the floor with my laptop and working. Trying to work while they were watching a show and were next to me. I don’t know if your kids are the same as mine, but they really just wanted to be near me. 

To simplify, sometimes I didn’t carve out time for my business; I just ran it while I was on the floor with them, because I didn’t have money for help. I didn’t live near any family. I only had one friend and she worked all day. Brian was working all day.

When there are no other options, you can create options. Options get to look like whatever they need to look like for you in the season that you’re in. I’m just kind of spit balling all of these ideas. I can’t come and say, “Oh, you just need to do this.”  

If you look for another way to do it, if you look for outside-the-box thinking, if you just sit in the season you’re in right now and think about it differently, show up differently, and make this work because you’re here and you’re willing to do what it takes, then with that mindset alone, all of the expectations fall away. 

All the thoughts like, “I should be doing it this way,” or “I’m supposed to show up on social media every day,” all that falls away and you can just get things done in the way that works for you and your season. Does that make sense?

QUESTIONER: Yeah, I like that “I’m here and willing.” I try to sit at the kitchen table while they play and write and sometimes it works and sometimes they want to sit on my lap and smash the keyboard. 

ALLIE: Have you listened to the episode of the show with Tonya Dalton where she talked about working with really little kids? She gave some really good practical tips there, so maybe go in search for her name on the site and it’ll come up. 

Is anyone else tired of Googling “How to work with little kids in the house” and the suggestions are okay, but what happens if you’re trying to start a business and you’re not already a millionaire with a nanny? Or if you just don’t want your kids away from you all the time, because you want to be here with them, but you also have passions. 

I felt like none of the advice fit me or I didn’t belong. I didn’t belong in the mom space because I also wanted to work. I didn’t belong in the workspace because I wanted to be with my kids. Yes, I’m empowered to have space for my kids, but gosh, I want to be there with them. That’s why I’m doing this. 

I feel like we need to get internal. On a perfect day, what would it look like for you? What’s your relationship with your kids look like? What does your business look like? 

I would imagine you probably want money to come in pretty passively from you just showing up on social media in a way that feels really fun and authentic to you, and then letting that sit there. Not having to keep showing up, keep convincing everyone to buy, convincing everyone that your product is worthy. Really creating ease, flow, and systems that support you. 

And the way that you even know what those systems should look like is by sitting on the ground and letting your kids crawl around you. Have snacks and watch a show. You and your headphones are your best friend. 

Creating and trying and throwing noodles at the wall and seeing what sticks. It’s messy and hard in the beginning, but that’s how you end up creating millions. And that’s how you end up creating systems, because you know what systems you need because you’re very connected to your workflow because you did it when it was messy. 

QUESTIONER: It’s so messy right now. I want that early morning time, but my 18-month-old gets up at 5:00 AM every day. What do you do?

ALLIE: Know that you have options. You could get up really early; you could not. You could take care of whatever that child needs and then you have a system where you know that you have 45 minutes to do this while they are doing this. You know what I mean? 

Or maybe you do get a mommy’s helper and have some help. There are so many options. It’s just not right in front of you because you’re probably a little worried that maybe it’s not going to work and you won’t be able to get things done, but you’re also driven to make it happen. 

You’re also in the thick of the noise and the disruptions and you just want to focus. So maybe tonight when you have a little bit of peace, get in the shower or go for a walk, and think only about this: What could I do to make my business work for me as I grow it, not the other way around?

When we think that we have to work for the business, hustle, push and we subscribe to that culture, it really runs us into the ground before we even make any headway. How could you make your business work for you and support you? What work is going to move the needle forward? 

After the blogging is done and the social media is done, what is going to move the needle forward? Where’s the money? Do tasks that generate money because money will sustain your lifestyle and support you so you can go be a happy mom, so you can create jobs, which is awesome and the best feeling in the world. 

Think like a CEO that has a huge team and make those decisions now. You can embody that anytime. And that simplifies everything because you’re not stuck in the weeds and making decisions from June 2021 Jennifer. 

Okay, friends. My first book, Declutter Like A Mother is officially available for pre-order. It releases on September 7th! I am so excited to call you in and ask you to be a part of this journey with me, to really join in, celebrate, and let’s have a friggin party! 

Let’s declutter your spaces and get your environment to align with the version of yourself you really want to call out, because as Marshall Goldsmith says in his book, Triggers, “If you do not control and create your environment, it creates and controls you.” So, let’s get that aligned. Let’s get this area of your life fully supporting you. You’re paying for the space you live in, right? Let’s get it aligned and supporting you. 

Declutter Like A Mother is written for the mom who really has unconsciously subscribed to the way that our culture describes motherhood to us. She thinks that this is just the way it is. It’s always going to be kind of a mess. It’s just always going to be a struggle and there’s just really no other way to do things. You can try to get organized and you can try to create more balance, but really it’s always going to be really hard. It’s always going to mean you are just serving everyone else and you’re kind of running breathlessly through life. 

I can’t wait to get this book to every single mom that resonates with that, into their hands and show them, no, there is another way! There is another reality you can subscribe to that’s better and lighter. It’s not perfect, but it is so much better for you as a human. 

Then you can show up as your best self—as a mom, as a wife, as a friend, as a sister, as all the different roles that you’re in.

This book is huge! It’s way beyond clutter. This is a book about life. This is a book about how to do motherhood a different way. And yes, we are going to start at Step One, which is shifting your environment. 

So please, go pre-order it. When you do pre-order a copy, you get some really amazing gifts for free from me. 

The first and possibly best (I’m very excited about this!) is the Mom Life Reset. This is a brand new crash course, designed by me, to help you uncomplicate things. This is literally unheard before, brand new content that I recorded just a couple of weeks ago that is only for those who pre-order the Declutter Like A Mother book. 

You also get five lock screens, professionally designed by my designer, for your phone with affirmations on them, because your phone is a part of your environment and I really want to help you align that in a way that’s going to encourage you, lift you up, and support you every time you tap your screen. 

The other thing you get is a sneak peek at a chapter from the book that I handpicked for you. 

So go to DeclutterLikeAMother.com. Pre-order your book. Save that confirmation page. Share your confirmation number with me, so I know you pre-ordered and you can unlock the crash course, the lock screens, the free chapter. 

I can’t wait to see what you think! I can’t wait for you to get this book in your hands. I can’t wait for this to be out in the world! 

Thank you so much for your pre-order. It changes my world when you pre-order my book. Pre-orders are everything for authors, especially a first-time author like myself. So thank you!

I appreciate you. I can’t wait for you to pre-order it. I can’t wait for you to get the book. And I can’t wait for you to get your hands on these amazing gifts that I’ve curated just for you as a thank you for pre-ordering. 

I love you so much. I can’t wait to keep supporting you. Thank you for being here!

QUESTIONER: I also have four kids and right now they are 3, 6, 7, & 9. As a homeschooling mom you also understand that at different age levels they need different activities to keep them entertained. They also have different math manipulatives and crafting stuff. 

I wanted my homeschool space to be my favorite place because we spend so much time there, but it is one of the most stressful places for me. When I walk in in the morning, it’s already messy because they go in during the day and play because there is Play-doh and paint.

How do I decide? What do I keep? What do I get rid? 

ALLIE: I’m trying to think of how to say this so that it can be relative to where anyone is at. For me, with homeschooling I had to really let go of the idea that I was going to buy something and then keep it and use it until it was used up and then throw it away. 

Can we just talk for a second about how much buying and wasting comes with homeschooling because you didn’t know it was going to suck or your kids weren’t going to like it? Homeschooling stuff is expensive so you feel like if you spent money on it you should keep it, because what if the 6-year-old gets into 3rd grade and wants to use it and then you’d have to buy it again.

It’s such a joke. There’s so much waste. I’ve had guilt about that, about being so wasteful. 

Brian does the day homeschooling and then I come in the evening around dinnertime and do my part. I’ll go in there and say, “What the heck? You threw all of this out?” 

And he says, “We haven’t used it.” 

He’s being Allie Casazza and I’m not because I’m stressed out because we bought all of that. But this is where I’ve landed with it. I think that homeschooling is such an evolving journey. 

You can’t go and read a blog about what worked for another mom, go and buy the thing, and know, “You know what? I did my due diligence, I did my research, and this is the thing that we’re going to stick with.” 

You have to try and try again. Then the kids will like it and then they decide they don’t like it anymore. And you don’t want to be screaming at them to learn math because the whole point was to enjoy learning. But you spent a hundred dollars on this program. It’s so hard. 

It’s so wasteful. It’s very stressful because you don’t want to be wasteful. I’m working on that. In a sustainability sense, homeschooling can feel so wasteful and it’s so difficult to know what to keep. 

I think we have to release that control of wanting it to be perfect. Homeschooling is one of the most expensive things I have ever done. I think people sometimes think that it’s cheap or something. It is literally the most expensive thing ever. 

You can do it for free, but if you’re buying things it is so hard because you’re probably going to have to buy 8-12 different types of that thing before you find the one that your kids like, unless you’re going to force them to use it, which I have done and it can work. 

Then you have to get into the mode where you’re trying to make it fun even though everyone hates it and the books suck. Then you’re trying to be like a preschool teacher vibe, but you want to jump off a ledge. 

QUESTIONER: Not to mention that one of the spouses is losing an income. It is so expensive. 

ALLIE: It is so expensive. It is. I don’t think people realize how expensive homeschooling is. 

You always have an option, though. We’ve done it all. We’ve been homeschooling almost completely since Bella was 5 and she’s 12 now, so we’ve done it all. 

You can keep the things and use them and say, “Guys, we bought this and I know we don’t really like it, but let’s give it another chance.” I used to do that. Everyone’s in their own season, but for me now it’s so crucial to me that they love learning. I am not going to force it. 

I always talk about women’s shelters. This is something else that they will take. The women’s shelters often become children’s shelters because these women escape from really bad abusive situations. 

They’ve got kids and the kids are traumatized and they don’t want to go to school or they don’t know what to do with them when they have them there. These are activities that they could do, so this is something else you could donate. 

Also there are groups on Facebook that you can ask, “Hey guys, we bought this and tried it. It didn’t work for my child. Does anyone want it?” 

Not selling it, but just giving it to someone helps me feel so much better because it’s that exchange of positive energy. It helps them and it helps me because it’s gone. 

Get okay with the fact that homeschooling is messy. It can be wasteful until you really find your groove and know who your kids are. And then by the time you do, they’re in a new grade, and you have to change it again.

I’ll try to make a note and remember to share a picture because my homeschool room is the front room when you walk in and I have had to learn to look at it with joy, because this is the life I prayed for. This is what I wanted. I used to be like, “Ugh, it’s cluttered.” 

Who cares? I have the best husband who helps me homeschool our kids. This is amazing. 

And it’s messy. This life, this method is not supposed to get rid of mess. It’s supposed to get rid of excess and dread. 

Try to shift your perspective so that when you walk into that space, you’re thinking, “I am so blessed. I love that I get to do this.” 

Shift it. It’s kind of the same thing that I talked about with my body and body love. Loving, receiving and being grateful for what you really want to change, and then the shift happens because it happened in you. So cheesy, but so true. 

It is not just clutter. It’s just messy. You can get new bins. You can label things if that’s your vibe, but it’s all going to come out anyway. 

It’s the messy room. There’s stuff all over the table. It’s rarely clean. That’s why we have a different table to eat off of because that’s the school room. There’s a lot of life happening there and it’s so beautiful. 

So, shift your perspective about it. Sometimes there’s a need for systems. And if there’s a need, then find the systems that you need. 

But sometimes it’s just busy, it’s a lot, and there are other things to clean up and other things to worry about other than making a room that has so much happening in it at all the time visually perfect. Who cares? 

QUESTIONER: I’m actually rocking my kids to sleep right now because I’m on the east coast. We are moving into an apartment. We are a family of four. We are selling our house, listing it next week. 

I don’t know whether things are worth moving or if they’re worth just packing them and going through them later. I have Your Uncluttered Home and I’ve already been through my home and done a few passes, but as you know, it’s just a lifelong process and there’s always more to declutter, especially in the closets and that sort of thing.

ALLIE: With moving, yes, it’s always going to be in waves. I find it’s really helpful to use the move to turbo blast yourself through multiple waves of decluttering when there’s a move pending. 

I feel like sometimes stress is really helpful. Let it motivate you. Let it move through your body and do something about it. 

If there’s a big move coming, use that to fuel you to really knock it out. Set aside some time to really do a good wave. Music, snacks, shows, whatever, but move through a lot more. 

It’s sucks to move clutter, guys. We’re moving right now. A lot of the companies charge you by the space you take up or weight, so you’re literally paying to move that.  

Even if it’s not technically by weight, you’re paying to move stuff you were going to get rid of. Just get rid of it now. I like to use that as a huge motivation to just go, go, go and get through it. 

This is my mantra for moving: touch it once. Don’t pack it in the box, and touch it again at the other house and then declutter it. What’s the decision? 

Touch it once. Pick it up and put it in the box to move. Or put it in the trash can or the donation pile or whatever. Make a decision. You’re just making more decisions to be made for yourself. 

When you touch it to put it in the box, ask yourself: Is this worth taking up my space, my energy, and my time? This is taking from me. Is it taking it from me because it’s a toaster and I need to crisp my bread and it’s necessary and it’s fine? Or is it taking up space and not worth it because I never wear it or use it?

Don’t move the stuff around from place to place. Just one touch, one decision. Try really hard not to move with clutter. 

Let this move put a fire under your butt and motivate you to make some really good decisions. You won’t have that helpful pressure when you’re there in the new house or the new apartment, so use it to your advantage now. 

QUESTIONER: I have a storage unit that we’re moving things into in the meantime and it’s only a certain size, so I’ve been saying to myself, “Is it worth paying this space in this storage unit to store this in the meantime?” That does help. 

Every time in the back of my mind, I’m thinking, “What would Allie do in this situation?” It’s such an honor to talk to you face to face. Thank you. 

ALLIE: I’m curious what will happen when you’re done with your storage unit? We’ve done that in a transition. When we got back to the storage unit (this was probably 4 or 5 years ago) I hadn’t touched that stuff in three months, so why was I bringing it to the new house? 

Some of it was furniture, but you know what I mean? I’m curious to see how much you end up taking. Let this all be a lesson for you about what you really need and how you can use the situation to really motivate yourself, really make decisions, and think about everything you get rid of. 

You’re literally gifting yourself more time and freeing yourself up to really enjoy that new space you’re going to live in. This is all a gift. It’s all lessons. 

Enjoy the process. Notice how you feel about each thing. Why do I feel panicked thinking of getting rid of this? That’s something to dive into. Decluttering is so spiritual.

QUESTIONER: I’ve already felt that way after we moved a lot to the storage unit already. I’m not even sure what we moved. Will my kids even remember these toys? That sort of thing for sure. 

ALLIE: Good for you. Good luck with all of it. 

QUESTIONER: I have cards from baby showers, baby dedications, every card I’ve ever been given and I tend to keep them in a gift bag from that occasion. I meant to go through them and they’re sitting right now in my living room still. I’ve gone through a few and I’m like, “I have to keep this one. I have to keep this one.” 

My daughter’s 12 and my son is 7. I have every card and I just don’t know how to disconnect from the emotional part of that person that gave it or that time or things like that. I desperately need to get rid of so many things.

ALLIE: I want to work with you on this. Answer back if anything comes up for you. Don’t freak out. Everything’s fine. You don’t have to do anything. I just want to know what comes up for you. 

What would happen if you think about literally just taking them all and throwing them away somewhere and never seeing them again? What emotions do you feel? 

QUESTIONER: Panic, scared. I feel like you’re pulling something out of my body, my heart. Yeah, that’s not going to happen. It’s too much.

ALLIE: Good. That’s great. Yeah. Great words. Okay. 

So if you think about me coming in and saying, “Why would you ever get rid of these? Let’s do something beautiful with them.” What do you feel if I say that?

QUESTIONER: I feel better if you say that. But on the other hand, I think I have so many bags. There’s no way I can keep them all. That phrase does help me feel a little bit better.

ALLIE: So what would happen if we got rid of the bags, but we took the cards and you made yourself a beautiful collage wall where they were framed. It was beautiful, it matched your home, and when you’re walking up your stairs or walking somewhere in your house, there is just a wall of how these people in your life have showered love on you at different, important seasons in your life?

QUESTIONER: Yeah. That could work. 

ALLIE: You’d be okay with getting rid of the bags if the cards were honored?

QUESTIONER: Oh, sure. I mean, the bags are just holding the cards. I know that some of those people are strangers now because with marriage and life, you can’t connect with everyone forever, so I get that.

ALLIE: Okay. Let’s go one more step. What would happen if we get rid of the bags and you sort through them? Imagine that I’m there with you and we’re sitting on the ground in your house and we’re just sorting through and we keep putting the bags away in a trash bag or a pile. 

Then we’re sorting through the cards and the ones that are people that you don’t really talk to anymore, what if you got rid of those ones? Then the ones that are from humans that you just miss or love or were so integral to you in your life, we got amazing frames and we made that collage wall. Would that feel okay? Or would you still feel upset about the other cards?

QUESTIONER: No, I think that would be okay. One of the other girls said something about not wanting to forget and I really resonated with that too.

ALLIE: Yeah, yeah, of course. Okay. Please be honest and tell me if this doesn’t sit well because I want you to walk away from this done with this worry. 

If I was there, I would say, “Okay, we’re good. We’re getting rid of the bags because you’re already so good at this. You’re ready to get rid of the bags, and that’s amazing. 

There are so many people that would not even be able to handle that—the tissue paper in the bag, nothing, any of it. So, you’re winning. Please know that you’re not behind and this is all so good the way you’re seeing this. So, we get rid of the bags. 

I would bring my scanner because it scans things perfectly, like you literally have an exact digital image of what you scan. I would scan all the ones that are from strangers, but it was a nice thought and maybe you just want that memory to trigger. I would get you set up with a folder in your phone or your computer where you could open that anytime. 

We’d make sure it was backed up multiple ways so you’re never going to lose them and you can go through and scroll through those memories anytime you want to feel happy. Then I would go to the store and get you all matching frames and make you a nice, beautiful collage with those cards in it. 

Some of them you could have just the front of the card, some of them you could have them open so you can read it. You can have them all open, whatever you want. So, then you’d have that collage wall, you’d have your digital file of the ones that were from people that you aren’t super close to anymore, but you still have the memory and we’d get rid of all the bags. How does that feel?

QUESTIONER: That feels better. It feels like I could do that.

ALLIE: I don’t want you or anyone to think, “I just have to get rid of so much. It’s not okay that I have all this” Just release that from yourself because it’s not helping you. It’s not helping you to think that there’s something wrong, something that has to be fixed or changed. 

This is a process and those things have brought you so much joy. You get decision fatigue and stuck when you don’t quite know how to honor it before you release it. 

And while you really don’t want to keep something of every single thing, if you can make yourself feel safe in the process of decluttering by honoring some memories, releasing certain things that you’re okay with releasing, and holding on in a different way to certain things, it can help you get brave and get momentum. And then you get more comfortable with letting more things go down the line. 

I want you to let go of any expectations on yourself to go through this process or work through anything that you’re trying to work through—the course or a book or a process of whatever—and instead focus on doing what I said with those cards. That’s it. You don’t need to know what to do with anything else. 

Just focus on doing that with those cards, making that progress, and then seeing how you feel after that. I feel like you’re going to have some momentum and you’re going to feel a lot more ready to release other things.

QUESTIONER: I really appreciate that. I know everyone has different things to get rid of. I mean, I have clothes and people have all kinds of things. 

I honestly thought this process would be pretty easy because, you know, it’s been so long, but it’s not easy. It’s just a step, I guess. Thank you very much for taking my question.

ALLIE: Yeah, of course. It’s very emotional and there’s so much in our things, especially paper things. There are a lot of memories on paper. It’s okay. It’s all normal and it’s all figureoutable.

QUESTIONER: How do you guide your kids in decluttering mutual toys when one is really onboard and motivated and the other one is super attached to all things. I have 5-year-old twins and a 3-year-old. The 5-year-olds do pretty well helping, but they have different personalities. 

We’re trying to keep those toys mutual, but this is something that happened. My daughter got really upset and my son was then upset because he couldn’t give them all away. I didn’t want to derail his progress. 

It became kind of a thing. So I was just looking for suggestions when you have different kids. I did the Uncluttered Kids and it’s fantastic, but understanding how to honor both of them through the process and make it so that they both feel like I’m hearing their needs.

ALLIE: Yeah. This happens for me all the time, specifically with Emmett. Between the ages of 4 and 7 kids tend to be way more attached and assign “souls” to things. It’s a normal part of development. 

The other kids say, “But Emmett, we never play with it,” and he’s about to cry. Because I have so many kids and they’re all different, my rule of thumb has always been the one that’s attached gets to choose, even though that sucks because I want to get rid of things and I want to move forward.

I’m sure your goal is the same as mine. I don’t want to do all of this and have them be scarred or have them be traumatized. In the webinar that Amy Tirpak and I did together, we showed that when people do have hoarding tendencies, this is kind of what leads to that. Controlling their stuff, for sure they’re going to struggle with their relationship with things and the control of things, so it’s not what we want. 

Using myself as an example, if Emmett is feeling emotional and attached, he may stay that way. That might be his type for life. He could also just be in that phase of development. But if that is where he’s at, then he gets the ultimate say. 

This issue came up for me years ago was also the thing that made me decide to stop having one toy bin and do one in each room. Even though they’re kind of empty because there’s not a lot of stuff, it’s just better to have it separate. It’s at the fullest right now, because he’s in that stage.

We want to be gentle with them. We want to lead them. Make it a part of your family culture. You’re doing this, you’re talking about it, maybe he could come and help you. 

Kids like to be in charge of our stuff because it’s reverse. So being like, “I’m going to go through my makeup. Can you help me make decisions?” And even if it doesn’t really help and you have to do it later when he’s gone, him helping you with your makeup and letting him feel in charge, flexing that muscle, and seeing that we just don’t need things.

I don’t know if you saw my Instagram live recently where I said, “Imagine if you kept every single thing you ever got.” Play that game with them—“Wouldn’t it be so silly if we actually kept every single thing. We’d have to pay so much money to move. We’d have to have extra houses. Look at how much houses cost. We’d have to have all of these houses to hold it all.” 

Playing that silly game with them at that age and letting them see how ridiculous it actually is to keep every single item. You know what I mean?

I do both of those things, but in the end the attached kid wins because I know it’s a process and I don’t expect my kids to be me. You can always come back and have a conversation with just him and say, “Okay, now that you have your own toy bin, you’ve chosen to keep these things, and it’s been a couple months, look how full this toy bin is.” 

Use whatever you’ve learned from Uncluttered Kids to communicate to him that he needs to start making some decisions after some time has passed. Does that help at all? 

QUESTIONER: Yes. I appreciate what you said too about them having separate bins because we had so many toys. We’ve made a lot of progress. We’ve gotten rid of 80% and they really do so much better. Thank you so much for all your words of wisdom on that.

We have one area that’s a mutual kind of school/toy room and everything in there is fair game for everybody. We did have some bins separated for them and there was a lot of fighting, not wanting to share at all, so we kind of switched it to see if we shared more if that would help. But I wonder if they might need a smaller space, especially her to just kind of go and put some things that are really important to her. 

ALLIE: Yeah. Let me clarify a little bit. We had the one shared bin, which worked so well for so long, and then it just started to not work anymore because they were older and it was just causing problems.

So now, we still have that same bin and it’s in the downstairs front room kind of by the school area. I’m sure everyone here has some toys that are kind of everyone’s toys, some general things. We still have that.

Even if it’s a little bin, so when it’s full you can revisit it, but she could have one in her room that’s small, so when you’re, as a family, making the decisions and your other kids say, “I’m good to let go of this, and she says, “No, no, no, no!,” that goes in her toy bin now and now it’s hers to play with. If she would like to share it, she can. 

What I like about that is it’s teaching the kids all of these different lessons at once, like sharing, and now this is going to be hers. And if you would like to share, you can. It’s so many birds with one stone, but it’s solving the decluttering problem. 

Also, can I just say how good you are at giving your kids space to express themselves? The fact that she even freaks out and starts to get upset about that? She feels safe with you. 

So just keep that going by saying, “That’s okay. That’s okay. You want to get rid of this and you don’t, so let’s put this in your special bin.” And don’t worry that that’s going to cultivate her doing that to everything. She can have all the toys to herself. 

This is all a process and she’s at a specific stage of development. At this age, you don’t even know if that’s her personality. But she is in that gap or that stage of development where they’re assigning personalities and getting really attached to things. 

Trust the process and do what’s going to be the solution for right now. Continue to make this a part of your family culture and continue to teach a healthy detachment and attachment to things. That’s how Bella was and it just worked itself out. 

QUESTIONER: It’s an honor to talk to you. Every single day I have a goal that I’m going to spend at least 30 minutes decluttering my clothes. I come in, I get started, and I declutter something, but it’s either in the kitchen or the bathroom or the desk. 

My house is looking amazing, but I haven’t touched my clothes. I just feel frozen. I can’t start.

ALLIE: Okay. This is a good question. I picked this one because I like digging in like this. Thank you for being vulnerable and asking this because there’s something there for sure and I really want to find out what it is. I’m obsessed with this right now. 

When you go into the closet and you’re stuck, what would you say is the fear? What are you afraid is going to happen?

QUESTIONER: That’s a good question. I go in there and tell myself that I’m going to get rid of so many clothes. I don’t wear most of this stuff. I pick up the first thing and I’m like, “But I might wear that. It is kind of cute. Maybe I should keep that.” 

And then before I know it, I’ve kept everything. It’s so time-consuming and I didn’t do anything. 

ALLIE: Just so you know, that happens to me too. You’ve got to flex that muscle and get into the practice where you know you are BS’ing yourself. You’re like, “I haven’t worn this in so long. I don’t even remember.” You have to bring some logic into it. 

I feel like the closet is one of the areas where sometimes you don’t just feel, because I can feel that I could make this shirt look really cute with boyfriend jeans and flats or whatever, but I never do. I err on the side of logic with this area. I dress by mood and I love clothes, but if I haven’t worn something and I didn’t even know it was there, just because I’m suddenly thinking of outfits to wear it with, well of course I am, that’s why I bought it in the first place, but I haven’t done it. 

Humans always choose the path of least resistance. What’s easy, what’s right there, they are always going to grab for it. This is why we wear 20% of our wardrobe, 80% of the time, because it’s the path of least resistance. 

If you haven’t been grabbing for that blouse, you’re not going to grab for it. When are you going to get oh random, “I suddenly feel like not dressing like myself. I’m going to put this outfit together.” If you felt creative, you could still use the other things in your closet. You wouldn’t need that sweater. You know what I mean? 

We need to bring in logic and think, “Oh, of course I can think of something cute to put this together with. I have good taste and I bought this item, but time has shown me that I’m not actually wearing it and it’s not really worthy of my space.” Does that help so far?

QUESTIONER: It does. And I keep telling myself, I absolutely love to shop, but I have no room for more clothes. So if I got rid of the stuff that I don’t wear, then I could actually shop and maybe buy some things that I would wear right now.

ALLIE: And stretch that 20% you wear 80% of the time a little bit and get more creative. 

I’m going to spit a couple of things out there because different things land with different personality types. There was a time where I was decluttering a ton. I had just started and I went back to the donation center and there was a woman with a really young kid and a pregnant belly there. 

I saw her freaking out and grabbing all my shoes that I had donated the last time I was there. I’d put them on the shelves. She realized it was the same size as her and she was grabbing all of them. And the joy on her face at getting these good shoes for a dollar, it changed my life. I want to go where she is and give things to her specifically now, because she was so happy. 

It will change someone’s life to get beautiful clothes given to them. I really like to switch it around and not make it about you. That might help you to think, “I’m gifting this to somebody. This is helping somebody. And it’s just sitting here. It’s not wasteful to let it go. It’s wasteful sitting in my closet and I’m not even using it when someone else would really use it.”

Sometimes that perspective with different people really lands and helps them release it. How do you feel right now? Is there any resistance still? What comes up for you when you think about going in there and purging?

QUESTIONER: Seriously, I’m determined. Tomorrow’s the day. Plus I’ve already done everything in the house. That’s the only thing left and it was going to be my first thing. 

ALLIE: You’re ready. Don’t let the fear win. There’s always going to be a, “What if I get invited to this thing?” But if you did, you’d probably buy something new anyway because you like to shop.” You know what I mean? 

We seem similar with that because I also enjoy getting things for myself, new things, and then releasing the old things to other people that need them. Think of it as a game and it’s fun. You get to help other people because you have the privilege of shopping and enjoying shopping, and that’s something that not everyone has. 

So you get to enjoy that privilege and you also get to help other people who don’t have that privilege by passing on your other things to them. Make it a game of catch and release.

QUESTIONER: I love it. Thank you.

ALLIE: You’re welcome. 

I wrote the book and all of this is out there for people to go and find it. I don’t have to sift through my website for the free advice anymore, so I feel less panicked reading these questions because I know they’re all answered in the book. 

QUESTIONER: For me, it’s almost like how I visualize my ideal self and coming back to who I maybe was, which is somebody who used to do scrapbooking or crafts and I keep all those items, but because those are hobbies of mine from a previous life, I don’t come back to it.

I always have the decluttering to do or stuff for the house, so it’s kind of on the back burner. But it’s hard for me to let go because I feel in my mind that if I were to get to a place where everything has its place and I can get back to my interests, then I would want to go back into that. But I feel like it’s so far away. I just feel so far from that image of myself.

ALLIE: Is there anything that you love to do that you still do?

QUESTIONER:  On occasion, if there’s birthday parties or I’m on more of a time crunch, then I’ll utilize some of my craft stuff that I would normally use for l scrapbooking, but it’s not like, “Oh, let me just work on my scrapbook a little bit here, or a photo collage for the kids or those kinds of projects.” 

But if it’s a time crunch, like a birthday party, or a lot of the time what I find is I tend to do these arts or crafts or more personalized items for other people. I get joy from it, from giving something personalized, like if I made a card for them, but I don’t give that time to myself. 

ALLIE: That’s exactly what I wanted to know because there are two different types of people with hobby stuff. There’s the type like you’re saying—this is the ideal version of me, but I don’t actually do that anymore and that part of me has moved on. 

I used to be a ballerina and now I never do that. I don’t feel like, “Oh my God, I want to be a ballerina!” I’m not there anymore. I’ve moved on. I don’t still have ballet slippers and some people would still have ballet slippers. There are those kinds of people. 

But what you’re describing is not making time for what you love. The crafting seems to come out of you almost like a love language, so I don’t think you should get rid of all your things. I do want to ask how much space is it taking up? What’s the skinny? Is there a whole room of crafts stuff or a box?

QUESTIONER: I’ve actually purged quite a bit. I’ve purged quite a bit and all of my craft stuff actually currently has a home, so it doesn’t totally stress me out because it does. But that home could also be taking up potentially other spaces who don’t have a home, if that makes sense. 

I stuck my empty albums in our entertainment center, but I have other photo albums that do have pictures, or some DVDs that we decided to keep, which is another story, but that could maybe go into the entertainment center, and those are housed somewhere else random. 

ALLIE: If I was there with you, this is what I would have you do. I think that you need to reevaluate how much you have again. It sounds like you did a really good job and there may not be any changes, but just look at how much you have and then ask yourself, “Is how much of this I have matching how often I do this?” That can be a gauge. 

I have someone who has a whole room. They made the older kids share a room so they can have a whole crafting room. But they never did it. It was totally the ideal version of themselves. They actually had a resentment towards their kids because they didn’t have time for what they wanted to do and sewing and stuff.

It doesn’t seem like you’re there. It just seems like you’re not making time for what you love. So how could you make time for what you love? What would that look like? 

Could you just scrapbook and relax at night while you watch TV, or while you listen to music, sit outside, or is it a Saturday morning situation? When are you going to make time for this? Because if you get rid of all your stuff, I can tell that you’re the kind of person that’s going to be really sad. It’s like a part of you and it’s important to you.

QUESTIONER: My photos on my computer is another thing that’s difficult. And this is in a lot of other areas of my decluttering journey—I have to do something in order to get to somewhere else. So I need to organize all my photos, which are in the thousands on my computer and it’s saved on different clouds and having to reconcile that. 

So it’s like, oh, well I can’t do my scrapping quite yet because I still have to go through my photos and make sure I’m picking the right photos. And so I get stuck there. I get stuck a lot with, “Wait, before I do this, I have to do this.” And then I’m just kind of all over the place in my decluttering journey. 

I know that for scrapbooking, I probably could just think about particular events like working on their baby books or something and just pulling those pictures. I can try to do that and start, instead of feeling like I need to look at it as a whole project. 

ALLIE: What would happen if you didn’t make this seem like such a job and you made it fun, which is going to be my answer to everything. I just think when things are fun, we’re more likely to finish them. 

No matter what your personality type is, you’re more likely to finish things if it’s enjoyable. What’s enjoyable about it will be relative to each person. 

You need to go through your photos first. I think that’s great. Wouldn’t you feel so much better scrapbooking if you knew you had sorted through all the photos, they were organized, and you knew exactly where to find what you needed? 

That’s going to make it more joyful and then you’ll do it more often, so then the stuff is not clutter. You’ve got to find the domino that knocks over all the other ones and your domino is organizing the photos. So forget scrapbooking for a moment and instead make time for yourself to go through those photos and make it fun. 

My favorite way to organize photos, which I don’t keep this up a ton because it doesn’t bother me but it bothers you and you’re scrapbooking so you need to find things. My favorite way to do this is in Google Drive because you can encrypt things, keep them safe, and organize them by folder and subfolders. 

You could do it any way you want, but just pick something. You can be like 2019 and then Joey’s birth, Disneyland, by months or whatever, and then just scan or move or whatever and organize them. 

So that is your project right now. That’s like you are digital scrapbooking. However you can make it fun and enjoyable, do that. Set yourself up for success and just slowly but surely chunk away at it. 

This helps my mom a lot. My mom has ADD. You don’t have to finish something to do something else and you can do things in multiples at the same time. So maybe on Saturday mornings, you work on organizing your photo folders, and then on Wednesday mornings, you declutter. 

You can work on different parts of your life at the same time if it feels good to you. I think sometimes we make up rules like, “Well, I have to do this first thing.” And in your case, you do need to organize the photos first, but do you know what I mean?

QUESTIONER: Yes, I do. That makes sense. I would definitely find it more enjoyable if it was organized to pull the photos from.

ALLIE: You’d feel more confident picking photos. It would be more enjoyable. So, do the photos first and find a way to make that enjoyable and then you can move on to pulling from those in scrapbooking. 

Also, can we talk about how good it’s going to feel to know where all your photos are? Amazing. That’s great. 

QUESTIONER: Thank you so much for answering my question. It’s so wonderful to talk to you!

ALLIE: Guys. I love you so much. Thank you for taking time and especially with not all the questions getting answered, and everyone just staying and hanging out. That makes me want to cry. You guys are amazing. I love you so much. 

And thank you for pre-ordering my book and being excited with me. We’re so much closer to the Target goal. So much closer. I really want to get there. We’re almost there and you helped me, so thank you.

Thanks so much for hanging out with me! In case you didn’t know, there’s actually an exclusive community that’s been created solely for the purpose of continuing discussions around The Purpose Show episodes. It’s designed to get you to actually take action and make the positive changes that we talk about here. I want you to go and be a part of it. To do that, go to alliecasazza.com/facebookgroup. 

Thank you so much for tuning in! If you’d like to learn more about me, how I can help you, how you can implement all these things and more into your life to make it simpler, better, and more abundant, head to alliecasazza.com. There are free downloads, online courses, programs, and other resources to help you create the life you really want. 

I am always rooting for you, friend! See you next time! I’m Allie Casazza and this is The Purpose Show.

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