My guest today is Amina AlTai. She is a holistic leadership and mindset coach, a proud immigrant, and chronic illness advocate. She’s a leading coach to notable female leaders and impact driven celebrities. She’s here to guide us to connect to our brilliance and teach us how to live and lead from it each day. This is really an amazing conversation. Let’s dive in!
In this episode Allie and Amina discuss:
- The mind/body connection
- Expressing yourself in the workplace
- Reaching your vision of who you want to be
- What it means to live from your brilliance
- Anti-hustle versus Pro-alignment
- Setting boundaries
- Working from your brilliance
Mentioned in this Episode:
Courses (Use the code PURPOSESHOW for 10% off!)
We’re surrounded with the message that it’s the tired life, the no-time-for-myself life, the hard life. And while it can be hard and full of lots of showing up for others, the idea that being a mom means living a joyless, stale, or shit-show life all the time is something I am passionate about putting a stop to.
I’m Allie Casazza, and I’m about to make your life so much lighter.
I’m the best-selling author of the book, Declutter Like A Mother, and the creator of several life-changing online programs that have enrolled tens of thousands of students.
If you’ve been feeling chronically behind, if you wake up feeling exhausted for a day that hasn’t even started yet, if you constantly feel like you don’t have time for the things that really matter to you, I’ve got you.
I went from being a completely overwhelmed, depressed, struggling mom of three babies and toddlers who, I’ll be honest with you, didn’t want to be a mom anymore because I felt like I was failing so hard at it every day.
Through a lot of figuring out, searching for help, inner work, and shifting how I was doing and being, I found that the less I had in my way, the more joy, focus, and purpose I brought into my life. We have to define what is in our way and what is actually worthy of our energy.
I went from blogging about my journey to becoming the founder of a multi-million dollar online business, all based on helping women live better, lighter lives.
Join millions of listeners around the world for conversations that will lift your mood, focus your intention and raise your vibe week after week.
We talk motherhood, lifestyle, wellbeing, and simplifying everything from home to schedule to business.
Listen, this is about not just waking up and reacting to our lives and letting the day run us, but setting the intention, taking ownership of every single day, and making life work for us, making it easier.
Friend, I am so glad you’re here! I’m Allie and you’re listening to The Purpose Show.
Hey friends! Because it’s so important to me that I am able to authentically be myself and I want to speak the way that I normally speak here on my podcast, you’ll find the occasional curse word in my show. So if that bothers you or it’s not something that you want your kids to hear, grab your headphones.
In the show you’ll also find some episodes with adult themes, just things that are a little bit too mature or hard to process for young ears. So, in general, headphones might be a good idea. I love you guys. I’m glad you’re here and enjoy this episode.
Hello, my love. Welcome to The Purpose Show podcast. I have a guest for you today, and this conversation is amazing.
She is brilliant. She’s so successful and so grounded. It’s really, really good to be around a woman like this. I really enjoyed our conversation. I really enjoyed spending time with her.
My guest is Amina AlTai. She is a holistic leadership and mindset coach, a proud immigrant, and chronic illness advocate. She’s a leading coach to notable female leaders and impact driven celebrities.
Amina’s mastery is in connecting us to our brilliance and teaching us to live and lead from it each day. This is really an amazing conversation.
Amina is someone who I’m super glad came across my path. We exchanged numbers at the end of our conversation and I’m really honored to stay connected to her. She’s really a bright light.
This conversation is for you no matter what you are—a woman, a mom, a business owner, a stay at home mom. It doesn’t matter. There’s something for you here.
I want to encourage you to stick during this interview. It takes several turns. I really believe that this is an important listen, even if you’re not feeling particularly drawn to the topic or the conversation as it starts or any certain pieces of it.
Please stay until the end because after I speak with Amina I felt led to record a separate piece on my own to walk you through what it looks like to take action on this conversation. You know my main goal with The Purpose Show is to get you guys to really take action on the conversations here. Not just listen, be inspired, kind of forget and move on.
I walk you through how you can practically take action on one of the main tips that she gave us here today. And then I actually ended up walking you through a guided meditation to really uncover what’s holding you back. What old programming is not serving you anymore.
Figuring out what you really want and being brave enough to label it, admit that’s what you want and that it’s not the life you currently have. And giving yourself compassion, which are all the things that come up in this conversation with Amina.
I wanted to take the next step and walk you through some of the practicality pieces of that at the end so stick around for that. It’s something that I haven’t done before and I’m super excited for you guys to have that.
Enjoy this conversation. Don’t forget to take screenshots and share on social media so I know how this impacts you and we can get some new moms listening to this amazing content.
Let’s welcome Amina.
ALLIE: Welcome! Thank you so much for being here with me!
AMINA: Thank you so much for having me. I’m super excited to connect and dive in.
ALLIE: You are amazing and brilliant and the work you do feels so impactful and very unique to me, which is what drew me to you. I wanted to have you on because the approach you take, the way you speak, what you look at when you’re working with people even just through social media, you can see that. And I just think it’s amazing. I’m super excited.
Can you tell us your story and how you got started in the amazing work that you do?
AMINA: Yes. Thank you.
First of all, you are amazing and brilliant and I am simply a mirror, so whatever you’re seeing in me is in you. Thank you.
I’m a holistic leadership and mind coach. I got into this work because for a very long time I felt unhappy in my career and it spilled over into all different areas of my life— relationships, friendships, everything. I was feeling really unexpressed and not like my full self in the context of work.
To give you a little bit of background, I started my career in marketing and brand management and I went on to co-found a marketing agency. But I carried all of my familial programming into my work, so I had no boundaries.
I was super codependent. I was the ultimate caretaker, taking care of everybody but myself. I was putting my clients and employees first and myself last.
Eventually, I developed two autoimmune diseases: Celiac Disease and Hashimotos. And it was this moment in my life—we’ve all had moments like this—that was a “stop” moment. Where you are literally asked to stand still for a second, stop what you’re doing, and really reevaluate the way that you’re going.
I had this choice of continuing to work myself into the ground and not take care of myself or choosing again. I chose something different and I had what I call my eat/pray/love year, where I went back to school and studied nutrition, mindfulness, movement, and coaching.
I was so excited by what was available to me when I actually felt well and whole that I decided that I was going to change my career and I was going to teach this. I went on to create a corporate wellness company and I went into organizations and taught them how to help their employees live well.
But again, in that conversation, in that iteration of my business, I had another “stop” moment. I was like, What is happening? I feel like I should be happy with the life that I have. This is everything I’ve “wanted” on paper, but here I am. I feel disgruntled, unexpressed, and frankly anxious and depressed.
It was like I was teaching from a piece of myself, not the fullness of me. That’s when I sat down to design my coaching, which sits at the intersection of business or career coaching, mindset, and wellness. I believe we need to look at all three aspects with the same diligence to really thrive.
If I’m not listening to my body, can I show up fully for work? If I’m not checking in with my mindset, how am I treating others? What am I putting on them? What are the strategies and tactics that we use to connect to our ambition and be expressed in the context of work?
ALLIE: I think it’s so interesting that you said you were feeling unexpressed. It’s such a good word. It’s not good to feel that way, but it’s such a good word for expressing how you were feeling.
It’s interesting that you were feeling that way and then you developed Hashimotos and Celiac. The body keeps the score and it is literally like now it’s going to show up here because you’re not dealing with that. You’re suppressing instead of expressing. It’s so interesting. Every time it happens.
AMINA: Yes, you are brilliant. And it’s so interesting, right? Celiac disease and Hashimotos in the same space, in the same kind of linear fashion, and being unexpressed or holding onto things, not processing things. It makes perfect sense. It’s poetic.
ALLIE: It really is poetic. The body is always sending us messages. I love that you bring that into what you do. I think there are so many amazing people who do similar work and leave the body out completely.
I think a lot of the time it can be seen as weird or “woo woo.” I’ve even been called overly dramatic when I was speaking about the correlation with my body to what I was feeling. I was told, Oh, you’re just looking for things. That’s dramatic and has nothing to do with this.
I really love that you just own that the body is a part of this and we have to look at the mentality. We have to look at what’s actually happening. We have to look at what’s happening physically because it shows up there last and you can look for those signals and use them.
AMINA: You’re absolutely right. I’m so sorry that you were dismissed. But it’s like you said, the body keeps the score.
There’s a mind/body connection. 100%. It’s not “woo woo.” I mean, for those of us that are woo woo, that’s a beautiful thing. I think there’s a space for metaphysics and all of that beautiful stuff.
Then for those of us that want something that’s grounded in science, it’s documented. It’s studied that our issues are in our tissues. There’s an entire study, “The Body Keeps The Score,” where they talk about the connection between what’s happening with our psyche. Back pain was one thing they studied specifically. It’s documented.
ALLIE: Absolutely. Because you do work with the mind and the body, what would you say is the most common mindset block that you see? I would love to dive into that because I think business owner or not, stay at home mom, working/not working, I think we all have these inner mental blocks that keep us from being fully expressed and living our best lives.
AMINA: I have coached everybody from celebrities to the biggest girl bosses of our time to brand new founders and there is a common thread. And that common thread is imposter syndrome and perfectionism.
It’s wild because there are all of these amazing, high-achieving, brilliant women and they’ll show up in a space and think, I’m not worthy or Let me give my success away to somebody or It was luck. It’s so interesting to notice.
Harvard Business Review wrote a piece on this. They were talking about how the language of imposter syndrome really is a misfit. I totally agree because the language of imposter syndrome almost makes it seem as if there’s something wrong with us.
However, as women we’re trying to show up and thrive in a space not designed for us. The workplace wasn’t designed for women. They’ve studied how the workplace was designed around men’s hormones not women’s hormones and our infradian rhythms.
And so, of course, when we’re in these spaces, we feel unexpressed. We feel blocked. We feel like there’s a glass ceiling or a glass cliff. Like we can’t show up in the fullness of ourselves because that space wasn’t created for us.
It blows me away that no matter how amazing the human, and they are all amazing and you are all amazing listening, but we are always questioning our abilities. We are always questioning our worthiness.
ALLIE: So in that situation, being in an environment that was not designed for women, what do we do about that? What can we do about that?
AMINA: I think two pieces. One is mindset work. But we can’t ‘mindset coach’ ourselves out of the space not designed for us, right? So one thing is let’s clean up our side of the street and make sure that we are owning our value and owning our worthiness. I think that’s something we tend to diminish or water down.
Then, also advocacy. How are we advocating for ourselves in the context of work for them to create a structure in which we can flourish? Are we really asking our allies to support us as well in that advocacy? Sometimes it can be such an emotional lift to do it all by ourselves. I think ally-ship is hugely important.
ALLIE: I love that.
AMINA: The workplace needs to change. It really does.
ALLIE: Absolutely. I love that.
Okay, I’m trying to think in terms of everybody listening being in such different places and phases of life and lifestyle choices. I was watching a bunch of video submissions for some coaching that I’m doing and thinking about those women. They were all so different and lived in totally different parts of the world.
The root issue was, I’m just not happy with the way things are. I don’t feel good. I don’t feel healthy. I’m overweight. I want to be healthy, but it’s so hard to get there. My marriage, my relationship with my kids isn’t where I want it to be.
You want to get higher up. You want to feel better. You want to evolve and grow and it feels like it’s so out of reach.
You’re literally just going about your day, hustling, breathlessly going to the next thing. How would you suggest that somebody get out of that cycle and see the vision of where they want to go, and actually take steps to get there instead of reacting all the time?
AMINA: Beautiful, beautiful question.
I think that’s so true for all of us. We’re just in the momentum. Rarely, do we actually stop. Unless we’re invited to by the universe or through a health crisis or something else.
I think slowing down and pausing is so important. Mindfulness practice I think is the most generous thing that we can give ourselves, even a really small one. Even if you start with 5 minutes a day or even 90 seconds a day, that can actually shift our brains. I think that is really important.
A pause. A slow down. A mindfulness practice.
I think the most generous work we can ever do for ourselves in this lifetime is come home to ourselves. We all came to planet earth to grow literally. And so much of the work, whether it is in career or relationship to self is about peeling back the layers of programming that have been placed upon us by our families, by culture, by subculture.
Actually coming home to ourselves and asking what is the life that I want to live? What do I actually believe about my body? What do I actually believe about money, success, and ambition? What do I really want?
Because for the most part, we’re not in the driver’s seat. Our subconscious is in the driver’s seat and there’s all this programming in there that we’re not even aware of.
ALLIE: That’s so good. What do I really want? I think even just labeling it, calling it out and admitting that you want something that’s not in your current reality is huge for a lot of women.
We suppress that. We want something because we feel ungrateful or guilty or we should just be feeling thankful for what we have. I feel like it’s so free just to even admit it and give it a label.
AMINA: One hundred percent.
Something really interesting that I’d love to share from my own life is that one of my big, juicy goals was that I wanted to buy an apartment. I live in New York City. Real estate is crazy. I wanted to buy an apartment in New York City and that would mean that I had “arrived.”
I went through the whole process of buying this apartment. Turns out my apartment had mold and I got mold poisoning. I had to literally leave my apartment.
It was this whole spiritual experience that had me really reevaluate. Why did I want this apartment? What was it really about?
All I wanted was to feel grounded, to feel rooted somewhere. But I can do that in myself. I don’t need to buy an apartment to do that. So the underlying ‘why’ is the most important gift we can give ourselves I think.
ALLIE: I love that so much. And it’s so simple.
I feel like even in getting mindful for a moment and thinking, Okay, what do I really, really want? Let me admit that. To admit that it is hard to be mindful in that moment, if that makes sense. Because you’re like, Well, I can’t have it or you subconsciously automatically write it off. Or, Well, there we go. I labeled what I want and a kid comes in and onto the next thing.
It’s so intentional to really sit and go through this and then dig a little bit deeper. Why do I want that? Is it possible for me to just give this to myself in a simpler way? I love that. It’s so simple and so beautiful.
AMINA: Thank you.
What I think is also really profound and important for women is that we have to rationalize so much of what we give ourselves and why we give it to ourselves. I also invite people to give themselves something for no reason at all.
Get yourself the massage for no good reason other than you want it. Upgrade your ticket for the plane flight for no other reason than you want it.
We’re always rationalizing and feeling like we can have this thing if X, Y, Z happens. Be generous with yourself. Give yourself permission to play it all out. Give to yourself like you give to others for no good reason other than you love yourself.
ALLIE: Such a practice of self love. I love that. For no reason.
It doesn’t need to be Mother’s Day. It doesn’t need to be your birthday. It doesn’t need to be on sale. Just because you wanted to.
AMINA: Exactly. I found myself even being like, Okay, when I achieved this milestone in business, then I can do X, Y, Z thing. Why am I waiting for this future trip? I am living in right now and I don’t need a reason.
ALLIE: That’s so good.
One of the things that you’ve said is that we need to connect to our brilliance and then live from it each day. I love that. I’ve sat with it since I first came across you on social media.
I would love for you to expand on that and tell us what exactly that means. How can we do that? What are some examples that you’ve seen of people really doing that?
AMINA: I believe that we all have a form of brilliance, a form of mastery. But a lot of us have grown up in spaces or went to schools that only celebrated a very particular kind of genius, brilliance, or mastery. So it’s like you kind of had to be thinking a very particular type of way. You had to be good at math or science or whatever.
It might be the same in your family system. We grew up in these structures that celebrated a very particular type of brilliance and discounted others. I had a younger sister and she was the most brilliant creative person you’ve ever met in your whole life and they always wanted to put her in special classes because they called her a divergent thinker.
PS: now she’s this amazing feminist artist. Everyone’s celebrating her work. But they didn’t understand her brain.
We all have these varying types of brilliance. Our job, again, is to peel back the layers of what people have put on us about what is brilliant and what is not brilliant and claim our own.
What are the things that you haven’t admitted you’re great at? We all have those things. It can be a hard skill. It can be a soft skill.
When I’m working with people to unearth their brilliance, we look at three zones. We look at the spaces we are average in. We all have those spaces, no shame. We didn’t come to earth to do everything perfectly.
Then there’s the excellent zone. The excellent zone are the spaces where we’ve practiced a lot to be really good at things. With a lot of high achieving women, there’s usually very few things in the average space because they’ve made themselves excellent at most things. I’m sure you’re all nodding your heads here.
Then the third zone is the exceptional zone. In this exceptional zone, you’re in your innate abilities and you almost are channeling. What comes through you flows so effortlessly, so readily, you hardly have to use any energy or mind. It just kind of pours through you, whereas in the excellent zone, you use a lot of resources to be excellent.
I always use the example of my marketing career. I was excellent. People liked me. My work was good, but I used so much energy that I ended up developing autoimmune disease, right?
Now in the coaching space, I’m in my exceptional ability. I can coach 12 hours a day and feel so full of life because it’s really my exceptional ability.
Mamas! I have amazing news. My second book is officially available for pre-order!
It’s actually not for you; it’s for your kids! It’s called Be The Boss Of Your Stuff. It was written by me with input from my own kids. It was written for kids ages 8 to 13, or really anywhere around there.
A bunch of moms in my community have been messaging me that they’re buying it to read to their younger kids. I have the book in my hands right now and flipping through it, that is going to work perfectly. This book is for any kid!
This book is going to empower your kids to take on a lifestyle of simplicity, less clutter, and teach them all the amazing things that I’ve been teaching you that have helped you so much and spare them the hard journey.
It’s going to help them move away from corporate consumerism in a way that will serve them greatly their whole lives.
Be The Boss Of Your Stuff will also help your kids clean out their rooms and make decisions about all their stuff with confidence by themselves. This means the pressure and micromanaging is off of you completely, which is my whole goal with this book.
It’s also going to help them work through tough emotions that might come up as they make decisions about their things. It will help them deal with what to do if you feel guilty because somebody gave you something. What to do if grandma or grandpa or Aunt Sally is continuously giving you things and you’re trying to stay decluttered.
It’s going to help them take charge of their space, figure out their design style, bring it into their newly decluttered room and live a lifestyle of freedom for life.
Honestly, getting this book for your kids is a huge, huge gift.
Be The Boss Of Your Stuff releases March 1st, but I want you to preorder it now, not only because preorders are life-changing for an author, but because if you preorder you get something that those who buy it once it’s actually out will not be getting – and that is a free brand new course! My kids and I created:- Be The Boss Of Your Stuff – The Crash Course Just For Kids.
It is brand new and has not been accessed by anyone or sold anywhere. It features my oldest two kids, Bella and Leland, they’re 12 and 10. It’s them talking to your kids and teaching them about minimalism, decluttering, how to keep their rooms non-disastrous.
It’s very, very simple, really easy to watch, easy to take in. And of course we know because I say it all the time, kids retain information so much better when it’s delivered to them through other kids.
This is a really cool thing. A tool that you can have in your mom tool belt, have access to, put it on the iPad, show it to your kids and let other kids talk to them about this. Again, it’s about removing that burden from you as the parent.
None of this content is anywhere. It is brand new. It is only for those that preorder the Be The Boss Of Your Stuff book.
It is fun for kids of all ages to watch!
The course is valued at $129 and you will be getting it for free when you preorder!
Another bonus with this is that the course will be delivered to your email right away, right after you preorder and submit your confirmation number. You can have your kids start taking in this content and thinking about this topic while you wait for the book to arrive and that can then take them deeper.
To pre-order and do all of this, go to bethebossofyourstuff.com. Pre-order the book now. And on that same webpage, you’ll see the place to submit your confirmation number from your order to get you your free course access.
Bethebossofyourstuff.com. Preorder now! Tag me on Instagram and Facebook! Tell all your mom friends! Let’s make this a whole movement for the next generation!
ALLIE: Thank you for that differentiation because it’s so much more specific to hear where it’s coming from. Some books I’ve read teach it like the zone of genius and the way it explains it I feel like that about so much so that doesn’t really help.
I don’t know if you’re familiar with the Enneagram at all, but I’m an 8.
AMINA: I’m a 3.
ALLIE: I always get along so well with 3’s.
I will make myself really good at so much and I like to do that. How you describe it, it’s like dropping into my body and coming out of me effortlessly. Then I’ll look back and think, I don’t know where that came from. I couldn’t re-say that. It didn’t come from me.
That distinction helps me personally. It’s a light bulb moment for me, for where it comes from versus how you feel in it. It’s just a little different to me.
AMINA: Yeah. That’s really powerful. You are flowing. That’s when you know you are in your exceptional abilities.
The other thing I’ll invite people to do is sort it. Inside of your exceptional abilities, what life’s giving to you, what do you love so much that it feeds you so much? And what’s not so life giving for you.
We all have those areas where you’re pretty exceptional, but it takes something from you. Sorting it into the ones that really give back to you as well and feel so nourishing that you have endless capacity to give in that thing is a really great implication.
ALLIE: I feel like that about the podcast. Even when things get busy, I’m always like, Oh, I’m gonna sneak in this episode. I have an idea. You know what I mean?
I think talking in a passive way that can keep going without me actually physically being there is so life giving to me. This is so helpful.
AMINA: Even in the way your brain works, the way you’re asking questions, the way that you further the conversation, this is effortless for you. And it’s so powerful.
ALLIE: This is so good.
You’ve said so much that you are very anti-hustle and pro-alignment in your work and that you teach your clients to get to that point as well. Could you explain what that means and the differences for us?
AMINA: Hustle, for me, is like expending energy for the sake of expending energy. It’s sort of like the old paradigm/old mentality versus new paradigm.
It’s almost this dehumanizing relationship that we have with our bodies where we’re squeezing it as if it’s this resource and just trying to get every last drop out of it.
When I was first diagnosed with my autoimmune disease, it was kind of like at the beginning of the wellness boom and there was a lot of talk about hacking your body. Even the language of hacking is so violent and dehumanizing. It’s this idea that it’s this resource that you’re squeezing.
Alignment is like, Okay, I’m really looking at who am I incarnated as? Why did I come to earth and what am I called to do?
Whether it’s to be the world’s most amazing, generous, loving mom or to lead this Fortune 100. What did I incarnate for? Where am I most exceptional? How can I orient my energy and my experience to those spaces where I’m most exceptional so that I can be in this giving generous relationship with the world?
ALLIE: I love that.
How can we work in an anti-hustle way as moms when there’s so much going on that seems to be outside of our control? It’s all the time and it’s constant. And relate that to that phase of life. What would that look like?
AMINA: One of the things that’s coming through for me right now is boundaries and codependency.
I talk a lot about codependency and boundaries in work because a lot of us are operating from that place in relationship, in work. If you all have not read the book Codependent No More, it is the most amazing book.
We all, in some ways, have these small behaviors where we’re seeking to be affirmed outside of ourselves. We come into these relationships or experiences where we don’t have boundaries and we’re enmeshed. It can look like overgiving and becoming resentful. It can look like showing up too much for somebody that isn’t showing up in that same way for you.
For our moms listening out there, I think one of the healthiest things that we can do is really set beautiful boundaries for ourselves and be very clear where we’re in integrity with the boundary and where we’re not in integrity with the boundary.
That allows us to show up in this experience for a lifetime, not just a season. We’re cultivating endurance here. We really need to take care of ourselves. And so those boundaries are the most beautiful thing.
Do a boundary inventory. Where do you feel like your boundaries are crossed? A great place to see where your boundaries are crossed is asking yourself, where are you feeling resentful right now? What are you tolerating that you need not be tolerating?
ALLIE: Where are you feeling resentful right now? That’s so helpful. And I think for a lot of us, there’d be multiple things that come up.
I also wanted to add for the moms that are in that phase listening too, having boundaries with your little kids is totally doable and so good. Even little things. I used to be trying to do yoga or something and they would come over and interrupt, like their needs are immediate. It’s the same thing with my family living outside of my immediate family, their emergency is not my emergency.
I wish I had started a little bit sooner, but I didn’t know. But little things like, Oh, hold on, I’m doing this right now. Hold on, please. Don’t talk until I’m done. Even counting down, I’d be like 15, 14.
Little things like that. I can’t know what the differences in my kids would be if I hadn’t done that, but they are very respectful of what I’m doing and when I’m doing something. They know that it’s not all about them. You know what I mean?
This entitlement that I think starts when they’re really little, because what are you gonna do? They’re babies and toddlers and they have a bloody nose, or they need you to wipe their butt or whatever it is. But eventually if you don’t shift, it does cultivate into an older child being super entitled to “right now.”
I love that you said boundaries. I just want to say for everyone listening, I do think that it’s possible and important to do that with little ones and your kids as well, especially if you’re a stay at home mom and you’re together all the time.
AMINA: So powerful.
I’m actually visiting family this week. I’m with my older sister and my nephew who has just turned four. My sister has been really trying to actively set healthy boundaries. Her son is now of the age where he recognizes that she can show up more fully if she has those boundaries.
I was watching a conversation with them where he was like, Mom, you’re being really bossy. I think you need alone time. He was basically noticing that she is showing up in a particular type of way, because she needs to step into her boundary and have her alone time. That just cracked me up and was also so affirming.
ALLIE: Yeah. I love it. What a good sign that your kid would be like, It looks like you need a massage or something.
Separate from mom life itself, how can we live in an anti-hustle way when we’re starting a business? I work with a lot of women that are starting an online business. With that season, as you know I’m sure, comes, I have to build my website. What about social media? And you don’t have help. All the things are landing on you and it’s that feeling of I’ve gotta just get ahead and then I can be aligned. What would you say about that phase of business?
AMINA: I would say, been there, done that. There is no t-shirt that you get at the end of it. There’s no medal.
I recognize that this is a form of privilege, but for those of us that have the ability, if you can stand squarely in your brilliance, your exceptional abilities, your mastery from day one, that is amazing. That is a really amazing way to start a business.
If you can resource yourself for those other zones, like the excellence in the “eh,” that’s a really powerful way to skip the hustle because a lot of us starting our business delegation is really hard and we’re like, “I need to do everything.” That’s one way to really quickly burn ourselves out.
But of course that’s not available to everybody. When I’m working with brand new founders or people that are in their new startups, I’ll invite them to focus on the things that are really going to produce the result that they want.
For example, I was working with somebody who’s work kind of sits at the intersection of a spiritual teacher/health coach/metaphysics teacher and she was in that conversation of, “I need to build a website. Should I do a one pager? Do I need all these assets? Should I do a photo shoot?
And I said, Focus on what’s going to drive sales for you. You need money in your account right now so that we can potentially get you some resources. I want you to focus and be amazing and exceptional at your sales conversation. Let’s focus on what’s going to yield the highest return for you and release everything else. Give yourself permission to release.
ALLIE: Can you give us some examples of what those kinds of tasks were, either for her or just in general?
AMINA: The website is a big one and I was like, You don’t need a website to sell a package. You don’t need it. It’s nice to have, but you don’t need it. The website’s a big one.
Photo shoot. A lot of the women that I work with, they’re really exceptional at what they are exceptional at, but then when it comes to the back office stuff or the admin stuff, that can get in the way. It’s like, Well, I have this name, should I issue the DBA?
And I said, Listen, don’t do any of that. Just sell your package first. There are things that don’t need to be at the top of the priority list. Focus on what’s going to yield the highest return.
ALLIE: Yeah. I agree. Keep it super simple. Get the information out there. Then show up as your brilliant self.
Get some movement in your body. Put on some music, dance around before you go live. Become a magnet and show up like that.
No one is going to care about your website or if your package is perfectly laid out with little photos of you laughing by the beach. No one cares. If you’re magnetic, then they’ll just click from wherever.
AMINA: So beautifully put. Focus on your energy first and foremost.
ALLIE: Oh, so good.
I have a membership right now of new business owners. They have already gotten everything up, but now they want revenue and growth. And I’m always coming back to that.
If I could just get them to really understand that it’s all about the energy you’re bringing and everything is just responding to that. And they’re like, Yeah, we know, but can you walk us through a landing page?
And I say, Guys, if you’re not feeling like it’s coming in and people aren’t attracted to your business, it’s only going to keep doing that. But you’ll get more frustrated because you spent more time on the website. It’s all energy.
AMINA: And take it from me. Before I was a business and career coach, I was in marketing and 80% of the work is energy and mindset. That 20% you can spend on the website, but 80% is energy and mindset.
ALLIE: Absolutely. Absolutely. And that 20% can happen later. It doesn’t have to happen right off the bat. You can do that later. Sell some packages. Get some courses sold.
AMINA: And the other thing is that brands are human. They’re always evolving. There’s always an opportunity to go back.
I’m all about releasing perfectionism. We will never get it perfect because perfect doesn’t exist.
Iterate. Get it up. It’s human. It’s going to evolve. You can come back to it. If we wait for it to be perfect, we will never go out.
ALLIE: Absolutely. What is one thing that you would say to a woman who’s listening, who is feeling like, I just am not fulfilled. I don’t know what I want. I don’t know if I should start a business. I don’t know if I should just continue where I’m at right now. I’m just not feeling like this is the life I really want to live, but I’m so busy and overwhelmed that I don’t know where to start.
What advice would you give someone in that position?
AMINA: The first thing: compassion. Forgive yourself for where you are because I’ve experienced this and so many of the women that I’ve worked with have experienced this where we’re kind of paralyzed by the emotion and the shame of arriving where we’ve arrived. There’s no shame in this, right?
We’re all operating from this programming and we all get our lessons when we get our lessons. So, the first thing is compassion for yourself. It’s beautiful that you’re having this conversation at all because so many people don’t. Congratulations on even having this conversation, that is a miracle.
The second thing is that I love to start with a mindset. When it comes to the great work of your life, career, relationships, or with the places you want to be expressed, how wholeful and nourished are you feeling in those areas?
Anything that’s feeling below a 7 on a scale of 1 to 10, I want you to ask yourself, what’s the story you’ve been telling yourself there? What’s the fear that you’ve been operating from there? What do we need to do to release that fear, to release that story and step into a more empowered version?
ALLIE: That’s so good. Thank you so much for that.
I feel like this was a little mini coaching call. It was so valuable. You really showed up with very specific examples. That is the kind of content that is so helpful for these women. Tell us what to do, tell us what to think, tell us how to be. It’s so beautiful and so valuable. Thank you so much.
AMINA: Thank you. You’re amazing.
ALLIE: Where can we find you? Where do you want to send people to connect with you more? Is social media preferable for you? Where do you want them to go?
My creativity is expressed through frameworks, so you will get frameworks on overcoming overwhelm or tapping into your values. All of those beautiful things you can find on my website when you sign up for the newsletter.
ALLIE: I love that. Maybe also if you have anything at the top of your mind that is a resource and you want to just send it to me, I can put it in show notes.
ALLIE: Got it. Love that. Thank you so much. You are a well of knowledge and I appreciate you coming in sharing that with us today.
AMINA: You are a queen and I’m so grateful to be here. And I loved this conversation. To be continued.
ALLIE: Take a deep breath in through the nose. Hold it at the top. Hold, hold, and release through your mouth.
Amina mentioned old programming in our brains that can hold us back. What programming from your childhood, from people in your life, from past relationships, from religion, from any past circumstances might you have picked up that might be holding you back now? Sit with that for a moment. Feel free to pause this and sit with that longer.
After pausing and sitting with that and coming up with something, I would like you to next ask, What do I really want in this life?
I want you to really think about it. Again, feel free to pause. I want you to really ask yourself that question, the inner most part of yourself, ask that question and sit with it.
Once you think of it, I want you to admit it. I want you to fully admit that you want that thing. I want you to label it, say it, and admit that that’s a part of you. That’s something that you want.
I want you to notice how it feels to you to want that. To want that kind of life. To want that situation to be a part of your life.
To move to that other part of the world. To have a different sort of marriage. To have another baby. To start a business. Whatever it is, I want you to notice how it feels in your physical body to actually admit that you want that.
I would love for you to pause here if you’re not ready to keep going.
The next part of that, I want you to imagine what it would feel like to actually have that thing that you really want, or that life. Maybe you just thought of a general life feeling that you really want. You just don’t like the way life feels in general.
What would it feel like if your life was the way that you want. Notice how it feels in your body. Where do you feel that energy?
How does that feel? Be aware and honor yourself by not judging yourself for any thoughts, for any desires, for any feelings. Just notice. Become aware.
Pause. Work through this, and then come back.
Getting super practical in this kind of meditation that we’re in together, I want you to brain dump how you could get there. How could this become your reality? What is it that’s holding you back?
Maybe it’s another person. Maybe you feel like it’s another person. And the part of you that is holding yourself back is being mirrored in another person in your life and you are seeing their actions, hearing their words.
Maybe they are damaging. Maybe they are toxic. Maybe there is a real problem there, but a lot of the time we are seeing the people that we’re in relationships with as mirrors to what’s going on inside of us. Amina actually brought that up in the interview.
How could you get there? What’s holding you back. How could you get to that reality, that thing that you want, that way of living that you really want? How could you?
Brain dump. Maybe even externally process. Pause this and just talk it out. Brain dump audibly how you could make that your reality. You can also use a journal if you prefer.
Once you pause and work through that, the next thing I want you to do is ask yourself, why do you want that? Why do you want that kind of life? Why do you want to move?
Why do you want to adopt? Why do you want to have another baby? Why do you want to take that job, take that promotion?
What’s going on in you? What is the foundation? What is the vision? What’s the ‘why’ behind it?
Once you pause and sit with that, the last thing I want to do with you now is just for you to just sit and feel yourself now. Feel your body and how it’s feeling. Feel your mind.
Maybe it’s trying to wander a whole bunch. Maybe it’s processing all of these thoughts. Maybe it’s feeling super grounded and calm.
I want you to feel your soul because you are not your body, you are not your mind. Your soul is different. I want you to feel all the pieces of who you are in this moment.
I want you to just think about where you’re at in your life, where you’re at in your motherhood, where you’re at in your relationships, where you’re at with your health and wellness or lack thereof, where you’re at with everything, and thinking about where you want to go, what your vision is and what you really want.
I want you to imagine that you are pouring out of a jar or a vase over the top of your head with your own hands, beautiful liquid that is lit up in a golden light of compassion. You’re just pouring compassion out of this jar onto the top of your head. It’s pouring over your head, over your hair, down your face, down on your beautiful body.
You are immersing yourself in compassion, compassion for where you’re at now, compassion for where you’ve been, compassion for the mistakes that you’ve made, the things you’ve said that you wish you hadn’t, the things that you’ve thought that have not been serving you, the things that you have believed that are not serving you, the things that you are responsible for that have held you back up to this point.
I want you to breathe in that warm golden liquid compassion. That is yours. That is your compassion. It is yours anytime you need it. You can do this anytime.
Remember to hold a deep empathy and compassion for yourself, for everything you’ve been through, for all the choices that you’ve made, knowing that you are fully in charge of what you do from this moment forward and how you bring change into your life.
Friend, thank you for listening. Thank you for being here with me. Thank you for welcoming Amina to The Purpose Show.
Continue to take action on this episode. Maybe there are some other things that jumped out at you in the episode that we didn’t go over in this little bit of an action-taking meditation that we did here. Sit with that. Journal through it. Talk through it with your spouse or a friend, or just even on your own.
Don’t just let this be something that you listen to and then do nothing about. Take action. Go to the next level, even if it’s just as simple as doing that five minute meditation today. That’s progress.
You are beautiful. You are worthy of good things. You are worthy of things that you desire. Those are your desires for a reason. They’re not random. They’re not selfish.
I hope you have an amazing rest of your day.
Please give back some of the light that I have put here today by taking a screenshot and sharing this episode on social media. Please tag me. I want to see. I would love to see that you were listening and hear a little bit of how this impacted you today. Thank you for being here.
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Thank you for tuning in. If you would like to learn more from me, how I can help you, how you can implement the things we talk about here on The Purpose Show, leaning more into making life simpler, better and more abundant in the best ways, head to alliecasazza.com. There are free downloads, online programs and other resources to help you create the life you really want in a very deep dive style.
I am always rooting for you, friend. I will see you next time. I’m Allie Casazza and this is The Purpose Show.
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