This one’s been brewing in my mind for weeks, and I’m so ready to unpack it with you. It all started with a question from one of you on Instagram: “I know what I should be doing—eating clean, exercising, setting goals—but I can never seem to follow through. Why?”

My response was brief: “Because you don’t want to. You feel like you have to. You’re in rebellion because somewhere in your life, you’re not getting enough play, pleasure, and fun.”

What happened next was an outpouring of DMs, way more than I usually get, from women who were like, “That’s me!” or “Can you say more about this?” So, here we are, diving deep into this idea that self-care rebellion is a thing, and it’s messing with your attempts to do what you know you need to do.

Understanding the Rebellion

Here’s where it gets real. If you’re stuck in a pattern of knowing what you should be doing but not doing it, it’s not because you’re lazy or undisciplined. It’s because your brain is in rebellion mode. And no, I’m not talking about teenage-like defiance here. This rebellion is your subconscious saying, “Enough with the obligations! Where’s the fun in this?”

The thing is, our brains are wired for pleasure. We’re not made to be taskmasters 24/7. When your life starts feeling like one big to-do list with no room for joy, your brain fights back. It senses an imbalance and tries to correct it by making you crave more of what’s missing—relaxation, fun, indulgence.

Think of your subconscious mind like a computer. It runs on the programming you’ve installed over the years. If your programming says, “Self-care is just another chore,” then guess what? You’re going to rebel against it, hard. But here’s the good news: you can change that programming.

Rewriting the Script

So, how do you work with your brain instead of against it? It starts with balance. If you’re doing all the right things—eating well, staying organized, hitting the gym—but none of it brings you joy, then your brain is going to treat it like a burden. And when that happens, self-care turns into something you resist instead of something you look forward to.

One of the biggest shifts you can make is asking yourself, “What would this look like if it were actually pleasurable?” Let’s break that down:

• Eating Well: Instead of forcing yourself to eat a sad salad because you “should,” what if you turned it into an experience? What if you savored fresh, vibrant fruit, knowing it has the highest vibration of any food? What if you stopped stealing joy from yourself by making food choices out of obligation?
• Exercise: If the thought of dragging yourself to the gym sounds awful, what would movement look like if it was something you genuinely enjoyed? Maybe it’s dancing in your living room, hiking in nature, or taking a fun class that feels less like exercise and more like play.
• Sleep: You know you need more of it, but you resist going to bed because it feels like you’re giving up the only quiet time you have. But what if bedtime became a luxurious ritual? Dim the lights, indulge in some pampering skincare, and wrap yourself in the coziest sheets. Make sleep something you actually look forward to.

Bringing Balance Back

At the heart of it, this isn’t just about tweaking your routine. It’s about addressing the imbalance between your responsibilities and your need for joy. Your brain craves harmony, and when it’s missing, you’ll find yourself in rebellion mode, resisting even the things that are good for you.

So, start by taking a self-assessment. What’s currently on your self-care list that feels more like a chore than something that nourishes you? How can you bring in more of what genuinely brings you joy?

And remember, self-care doesn’t have to be a list of tasks. It can be an opportunity to nurture yourself, to enjoy your life, to reconnect with what makes you feel alive.

The Practical Steps

Before you go, here’s a little something I made for you—a workbook designed to help you work through this rebellion and bring more balance and joy into your life. It’s packed with reflection questions, exercises, and journal prompts that’ll help you identify where the imbalance lies and how to fix it. You can grab it here.

Take a deep breath, friend. You’ve got this.