Being an Action Taking Problem Solving mom is about identifying the problems and taking action on them. It is writing out the issues and finding solutions for them.
Louise Hay says, “I do not fix my problems. I fix my thinking, then my problems fix themselves.”
When something is a problem in my life and I notice it is consistently a problem, I won’t just leave it. I won’t just wish that it would change or put it in the back of my head to figure it out later. I will take action on it. Write it out and problem-solve.
You have so much power as a mom. You can choose to change your thinking. Fix your thinking. Change your mindset. Get into a place of positivity. Of being an action-taking, problem-solving mom and a lot of things are going to shift.
In This Episode, Allie discusses:
The importance of changing the way you talk to yourself – internally and externally.
Why being in a prayerful, action-taking state of mind, is so important.
Steps to take in order to become an action taking, problem solving mom.
Mentioned in this Episode:
“I do not fix my problems. I fix my thinking, then my problems fix themselves.” – Louise Hay
The Problem-Solving Mom Guide (This is FREE! So don’t miss out!)
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Mom life. We are surrounded with the message that it’s the tired life. The no-time-for-myself life. The hard life. And while it is hard and full of lots of servitude, the idea that motherhood means a joyless life is something I am passionate about putting a stop to. I’m on a mission to help you stop counting down the minutes till bedtime, at least most days. I want you to stop cleaning up after your kid’s childhood and start being present for it. Start enjoying it. I believe in John 10:10 “that we are called to abundant life” and i know mothers are not excluded from that promise. Join me in conversations about simplicity, minimalism and lots of other good stuff that leads to a life of less for the sake of enjoying more in your motherhood. I’m Allie Casazza and this is the The Purpose Show.
Hey beauties! Welcome to Episode 10 of The Purpose Show! In this episode we are talking about how you can be an action-taking, problem-solving mom. This episode came about from Instagram which I feel a lot of the episodes (at least the ones that are planned through spring) will come from, just because that’s where I share most of my day-to-day life. That’s where I am most active. I share how I do things. If I am doing something and it pops into my head to jump on Instagram stories and show what’s going on, I will do it.
There was one time, a couple of months ago where I was sharing about when something is a problem in my life and I notice it is consistently a problem, I won’t just leave it. I won’t just wish that it would change or put it in the back of my head to figure it out later. I will take action on it. Write it out and problem-solve.
I use my Notes App on my phone to do this. I was doing an IG Story about that and people just freaked out. They were really responsive. And that of course tells me that this is something that needs to be talked about. It also appeared when I was asking for input on episode ideas.
It just keeps coming up. It is just something that I have always done. I think that when something is routine you don’t really think too much that, “O this is spectacular! I need to share this.” It is just something that I have always done and it just comes naturally to me. I definitely see a lot of benefit in being this way.
I am happy to share some of the behind the scenes of how I take action and solve problems, instead of victimizing myself, complaining and letting life happen to me, which is really easy to do. I definitely do that; it’s not like I never do that. But typically that is not my mindset.
I want to start this episode out with a quote by Louise Hay that says, “I do not fix my problems. I fix my thinking, then my problems fix themselves.” I think that really needs to be the foundation here. I think when you are coming from a mindset of victimization – “everything sucks, life is so hard, why can’t things ever be easy for me?”- you’re going to see that.
You’re thinking that. You’re putting that out there. It is inside of you. It is the way that your mindset is. And that is what you’re going to see. It’s the return on investment of those thoughts, attitude and way of thinking all of the time.
I think it is really easy to victimize ourselves. But if we stop complaining and change our mindset – that is doing something. So when I say, “stop complaining; do something; take action” what I really mean is take action on your thinking and your mindset. Change the way that you’re talking to yourself – internally or externally.
Change the way that you’re speaking to other people about your circumstances and your lifestyle. Take action where you can, physically, to change things. Let go and pray when you can’t take action. Make sure that you’re taking action on your thinking and mindset because that’s what really, really, matters.
I feel like in any circumstance, in any problem, there is always something you can do. The very least being – and I say the very least meaning that it doesn’t seem like that much effort – but it is actually the most effort and the most powerful thing we can do – and that is prayer and changing your mindset.
Telling yourself a different story about your circumstances. I think having a general attitude of a “doer”. Someone who takes action and seeks to solve problems. Someone coming from a place of “the ready position.”
In baseball when my sons are playing, the coach always says, “Hey Hudson, get in the ready position.” And it means being crouched over. Your knees are bent. Your glove is on. Your hands are out and ready. So if the ball is hit to you, you are in ready position to jump on it. To immediately act, take action, go and get that ball and make an awesome play. But if you are standing around in outfield picking the grass, your glove is not even on, or if it’s on but it’s just hanging there, and he gets a line-drive smacked his way – what’s gonna happen?
He wasn’t in the ready position. He is totally going to flounder. He is probably going to get hit in the face or something. At the very least he is going to be jarred because the ball went right by him and he missed it. He will have to scramble to get his glove on, run to the ball and then the play is probably not going to be very great.
So take prayerful action. For me, praying without ceasing. Thinking in an actionable way. Being mentally in a ready position in my life. That’s been huge. I basically take prayerful action in something all of the time. Weekly. It is not something that I have to think to do. Every once in a while I will get in a funk, get whiny. Then I tell myself that I need to change the way I am thinking here- check myself before I wreck myself. But typically, I don’t let things continue to be a problem. I am always in a prayerful, action-taking state of mind.
Here’s a big example of this. We just talked about this a couple of episodes ago.
For example, the problem of our lifestyle with Brian’s old job. We felt so stuck. It felt like there was nothing that could be done. He applied for higher positions. He took classes within the company to move up. We followed all the rules and did the things they said to do in order to move up and get a better job. Better hours. More pay. And nothing happened for years. Instead of whining, being a victim, and continuing to wait and waste time, we prayerfully went another way.
Even though it was really freaking scary and took a lot of risks, we took those risks. And we took action. We were deeply rewarded with a new lifestyle that two years ago seemed impossible. It didn’t seem that we were ever going to get out of that. We got married young. Started our family young. We have these four kids. We live in another state. We can’t afford to do anything or go anywhere. We can’t afford to move. We can’t afford to take the risk of starting a business. We can’t afford to take time off to seek another job and do interviews. We couldn’t even afford clothes for Brian to wear nice things to an interview. We were really, really screwed.
We just had this prayerful, problem-solving mindset. And it worked itself out. Just like that Louise Hay quote, “I do not fix my problems; I fix my thinking and my problems fix themselves.” For me, I have used that attitude and philosophy with faith. And coupled some really powerful prayer into that.
Here is a smaller, day-to-day example. There was a time in my life that I had a problem. It’s a common problem and I use it as an example a lot. Everyone in my house – just my house in general – felt very tense, cranky and just negative in the late afternoons.
Around 3:30 – 4:00 PM all the way till after dinner. It was just a really crappy time in our house. Day after day, whether we were homeschooling or the kids went to school. It didn’t matter what season we were in. It was like this time of day was really crappy.
Everyone was in this bickering mindset. Even Brian and I would snap at each other. The kids were arguing and bickering constantly. It was a really busy time of day. It’s the end of the day. You gotta get ready for dinner. You’re cleaning up. If you’re homeschooling you’re wrapping up the day. It is just a really important time of the day and it really sucked that it wasn’t a positive time in our house. Again and again. It felt like no matter what I did – it wasn’t changing.
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The idea of this episode’s title “How to be an Action-taking, Problem-solving Mom” is what I do for everything. Take this example of cranky afternoons and see if this works for you. I grabbed my phone, opened my notes app and literally just wrote out the circumstance. What is the problem?
Well, around 3:30 – 4:00 and all the way till after dinner, everyone in my house is super cranky and bickering. I am breaking up fights. I am done. I am stretched really thin. I am cranky and tired. I just want to have a glass of wine. I am not feeling good. And everyone else seems to reflect that. And even when I work on changing my attitude, when I have done my self-work to be in a good mood, still people around the house are just bickering, tired, and fighting.
I would write it out. Identify the problem. Then I would start to brainstorm possible solutions.
There was a problem section and a solution section. Under the solution section I wrote things like: maybe I could let everyone have some separate time away from each other for 30 minutes at the end of the day; maybe they just need a break from each other. Maybe we don’t just jump right into homework. Maybe when they come home we could have candles lit, worship music playing, oil diffusing, alone time. Maybe I do crockpot meals a few times a week so I am not having the burden of cooking dinner from scratch every single night.
Maybe we have that 30 minutes of separate time. Instead of diving right into homework, we sit together and talk about our day for a bit and unwind. Maybe the kids get to have a little bit of technology time after school. Just brainstorm out some possible solutions. This isn’t a set-in-stone plan that I am going to do. It is just a brainstorm list.
Some of the ideas might be totally ludicrous and stupid – that’s ok. You’re taking action. You’re being a problem solver. Even if you aren’t writing down the solutions that end up happening, you are still taking action on the problem. Writing it out, doing this braindump – is incredibly helpful. It allows you to physically see the problems and get them out of your head and onto paper.
It is like a release saying it out loud and acknowledging the problem. Get it out of your head. Admitting that this is a problem. And then you are taking action, brainstorming possible solutions. It is really really good. It feels like a release. Just doing this act is helpful. It always leads to a solution for me one way or another. Even if it didn’t, just the very act of doing this is so helpful.
So for this specific example of the cranky time of day in our house – it ended up working. We fell into this rhythm where I put on worship music, light candles, turn on the fireplace if it’s cold. I set a timer and everyone goes to their separate quiet time. The boys share a room so they go to separate areas of the house and just look at a book. Bella will draw. Leland will color. Hudson might do legos. Emmett might watch Ninjago for a bit. When the 30 minute timer goes off, I call them down. Everyone is a bit more decompressed.
Then we can slowly get into the end of the day routine – getting ready for baseball (if we have it), doing homework, cooking dinner. And I take part of that 30 minute time too. This is usually a time when Brian and I will sit and have couch time to connect and talk. Or if we aren’t feeling that, we will do separate things. Brian might stay with the kids and I will go for a walk. In some way, we are separate from each other. I do crockpot meals a couple times a week.
This really solved the problem. All of those things contributed to helping. Now that time of the day isn’t such a sore subject anymore. It doesn’t stand out as a negative time anymore. It is not consistently a problem anymore because I solved the problem
As moms, we have a big job. We have a lot on our plates. We have a lot of power. Don’t let the fact that your plate is really full take away from your ability to use your power as the mom.
We are keepers of the home. We are the spine of our houses and our families. If we come at our life with an actionable mindset – seeking to fix problems, seeking to be in the ready position in our lives, taking action for the sake of our families – that’s really powerful.
Being in that mindset instead of playing the victim. Complaining that you guys never help me. Everything sucks. Why can’t you guys just remember to brush your teeth? Coming at it from an action-taking, problem-solving mindset is so HUGE.
So be inspired. Take this into your own hands. Come up with solutions that work. Try out different things. Start brain dumping.
What are the problems? You don’t have to sit and think about all the problems in your life. Keep this episode in the back of your mind as you go throughout your days. Look for things that seem to be chronic problems. Do you notice that a certain time of day seems to be a problem? Do you notice that your marriage gets a little weird on date night days? Like there is some kind of expectation built up and you and your husband start to argue the day before date night?
Look for clues for consistent problems. Do some problem solving and brain dumping. In a journal. In your phone. Get it out on paper – physical or digital. Just get it out of your head and onto paper and look at it. Write it out. Then start to brainstorm possible solutions. Even if you don’t come to something and start to take action physically on it, just getting it out on paper is good. Something may come to you later.
I just want to encourage you guys. You have so much power as a mom. You can choose to change your thinking. Fix your thinking. Change your mindset. Get into a place of positivity. Of being an action-taking, problem-solving mom and a lot of things are going to shift.
I have put together something for you that I am calling The Problem-Solving Mom Brain Dump Guide. It is a free download that will help you get into the habit of how to braindump your problems, identify them and have a solution section. Print it out. Do it for the first couple of times. I have a couple of examples from my own life to help you see the kind of stuff you should be looking for.
Download The Problem-Solving Mom Guide to get started.
This was an episode of The Purpose Show. Thank you so much for tuning in. If you are ready to Uplevel and really take action on the things I talk about on the show head to alliecasazza.com for free downloads, courses, classes, and to learn more about what the next step might look like for you. I am always rooting for you. See you next time!