Ep 154: Self-Discovery is the Foundation for Stability with Jaime McLaughlin

May 20, 2020

I'm allie

I'm here to shake things up and challenge the status quo of motherhood. Let's throw out the old rulebook and create a new narrative where moms are living their dream lives unapologetically.

hi, friend

Feel like you need a total revamp?


I get it, daily routines can be overwhelming. But you? You're seeking life ownership. Dive into this beloved guide and tap into easy self-reflection, without overtaxing your brain.

Today, my guest is Jaime McLaughlin. Jaime is a lifestyle coach for moms and she is such an amazing soul and friend. In this episode we’re talking about the importance of self-discovery, knowing yourself, and the power of realizing who you are so that you can stand firm, really be solid and have a handle on your emotions and thoughts. Let’s dive in!



In This Episode Allie and Jaime Discuss:

  • How self-discovery and self-awareness affect stability

Mentioned in this Episode:


Courses (Use the code PURPOSESHOW for 10% off!)

The Purpose Show Facebook Community

Mom Mindset Bundle

Emotionally Healthy Spirituality Book

Made for this Mom

750 Words Website

Self Discovery Journaling Prompts

Unfrump Yo’Self web class replay

You can change your external environment, but until you change your internal one, you’ll always come back to where you don’t want to be anymore. 

This bundle is a massive collection of all my teaching on shifting your INTERNAL environment – your mindset. 


Mom life. We are surrounded with the message that it’s the tired life. The no-time-for-myself life. The hard life. And while it is hard and full of lots of servitude, the idea that motherhood means a joyless life is something I am passionate about putting a stop to. I’m on a mission to help you stop counting down the minutes till bedtime, at least most days. I want you to stop cleaning up after your kid’s childhood and start being present for it. Start enjoying it. I believe in John 10:10 “that we are called to abundant life” and I know mothers are not excluded from that promise. Join me in conversations about simplicity, minimalism and lots of other good stuff that leads to a life of less for the sake of enjoying more in your motherhood. I’m Allie Casazza and this is The Purpose Show.

Hello! I’m so happy to be sitting here talking with you! It feels so good to just be sitting here in front of my mic. It’s been a while since I recorded and I’m really honored that you guys are here, that you want to listen to me, and that we are in this community together. 

I’ve been spending some time in the actual community for The Purpose Show, which by the way if you are not in The Purpose Show community on Facebook, it is absolutely one of the most positive spaces on social media. We get told that all the time. Honestly, it’s magic. 

It is a pretty big group. It’s so popular. The women in there are so supportive and the conversations are just so good and helpful. They are so uplifting and empowering. There’s lots of movements and change started over there.

We have a lot of conversations around the episodes of The Purpose Show too. If you want some support, if you want to join a positive community, if you want to dive deeper into Allie-world and experience that, please find The Purpose Show community on Facebook and request to join. We’d love to have you be a part of that with us!

I’m really grateful for you guys today. It is pouring rain here in Southern California and nobody really knows what to do with that so the world has just stopped. I’m really grateful to have this microphone and this space to hang out with you and feel some camaraderie in the middle of this very rainy day. I love you guys!

Today, my guest is a friend of mine. Her name is Jaime McLaughlin. She is an amazing soul.

She and I connected years ago. Our friendship started from me reaching out to her, asking her if she could help me with my makeup on camera. 

My business had just really taken off. It was when my family and I were touring the U.S. in the camper, running the business online from the camper, and homeschooling from the camper. 

My business felt like it had taken off without me. I was doing a lot of press, TV appearances, and interviews.

I had really bad cystic acne and I couldn’t figure it out. I was feeling really intimidated by how visible I was and how I felt about my skin. I didn’t know how to do my makeup and I was really needing help.

I reached out to Jaime because she is a makeup artist. She helps women feel confident and know how to do their makeup with confidence. 

I reached out to her and she helped me so much. She changed my life and it actually sparked a friendship between us. 

We’ve been friends ever since. We’ve hung out in person a few times. Our families have gotten together. 

She’s an absolute gem. She’s hilarious, sarcastic, and down-to-earth. You’re going to love her if you don’t know her already. 

Jaime has transformed from being a makeup artist to being a lifestyle coach for moms. I love her! There’s so much alignment with what she does in her business and what I do in mine, so we do a lot of things together. 

We have a live training that we did a year and a half ago about getting ready for the day, not feeling frumpy, putting yourself together, makeup, hair, and all of that surface stuff that really goes deep and really helps you feel better. 

I’ll link that in the show notes for this episode. If you just go to and look for this episode, find the link to that class, you guys can watch the replay. We’ll open it up. Normally it’s for sale, but I’ll open it up for you guys and leave it there so you can watch it. 

Let’s welcome Jaime! Today we’re talking about self-discovery, knowing yourself, and the power of realizing who you are so that you can stand firm, really be solid, and have a handle on your emotions and your thoughts so when other people come in and say something, cross a boundary, or try to make you feel a certain way, you’re in charge.

This is a really, really great conversation. I really enjoyed talking with Jaime. Please welcome my friend and enjoy this conversation!

ALLIE: Hey friends! I’m here with my friend, Jaime. Jaime is a mom/lifestyle coach.

My base is decluttering; that’s how I started. Then it spilled over into all of this other stuff—mindset, the way you’re living, the way you’re doing motherhood, and doing your days. 

Jaime is the same except her base is beauty and makeup. You were a makeup artist for 14 years. 

JAIME: Yeah, for a long time. 

ALLIE: You guys might recognize her because we’ve done a webinar together about unfrumping yourself. It was so popular and has done so well. 

People love that class. I can also put the link underneath this video if you’d like to watch that. 

I’m excited to talk with you today. Can you let everyone know a little bit about your family and what you do so that we can get familiar with you?

JAIME: My name is Jaime McLaughlin. I am a mom of four kids. My husband and I live just outside of Dallas, Texas. 

I was a hair and makeup artist for 14+ years. I feel like I’ve been saying 13 or 14 years for three years now. 

For a really long time I was a hair and makeup artist. I did photo shoots and all the things. I obviously worked with women really, really closely that whole time.

After I had baby number four, I realized this isn’t gonna work. I can’t do this. So, I made an online course. 

As I started digging into the online course with teaching women how to do their own hair and makeup at home, I realized that 98% of the conversations I was having were not really about hair and makeup.

They were about heart issues of why they don’t get ready and the guilt they feel for taking time for themselves. That morphed into a more self-care mindset, mental health, stewarding your mind, heart, and your body so you can serve everyone else better. 

It morphed into this whole lifestyle coaching—teaching women how to better different areas, starting with themselves. It’s great. I love it. 

ALLIE: Yeah, I love what you do. 

For the women that have watched my stuff, listened to the show, and have businesses, I think it’s important to say that you have evolved with your personal evolvement. I’ve done that too. I think it’s important to evolve your business as you evolve (if you are your brand), and you’ve done a really great job of that. 

You are technically a makeup artist; I started with decluttering. I think it comes down to the purpose and the heart behind our base messages. 

Makeup, getting dressed and ready for the day, and decluttering and removing excess from your space are the first pillars under this big palace that we built where the roof is abundance and living well. 

You’ve prepared all kinds of amazing stuff for us today. I just want to let you dive in and we’ll have an amazing conversation about self-discovery.

JAIME: Allie and I jumped on a call the other day. We were talking about everything that’s going on and why we think there’s so much fear, anxiety, stress, and all this instability with the women that we work with. 

We’re seeing conversations, hearing conversations, seeing social media posts and it really struck a chord with both of us. We dug into what we felt the heart was. 

For me personally I feel like there’s so much uncertainty with everything that’s going on because people don’t have any idea who they are and they’re swayed by whichever way the wind blows. Today I really want to talk about how self-discovery leads you to stability. 

I’m going to start it off by saying a quote from a book. It says, “The vast majority of us go into our graves without knowing who we are. We unconsciously live someone else’s life or at least someone else’s expectations for us. This does violence to ourselves, our relationship with God, and ultimately to others.” – az 

That was so profound. It took the words right out of my mouth.

I feel like most of us have been really strongly conditioned by early childhood experiences. This causes us to act and function out of unconscious patterns without actually thinking, “Does this work for me? Does this bring joy to my life? Does this work for my family? Does this work for my marriage? Does this work for me personally?”

I feel like we’re seeing so much uncertainty, so many unknowns, anxious thoughts, and fear-driven decisions because people have no idea who they are. They don’t know what their family values are. They don’t know who or what they believe in. 

Everything is being shaken right now. Without living on that solid foundation of, “I know who I am. I know what I believe in. I know what my priorities are. I know what my family values are. We’re all on the same page and in the same direction that we want our lives to go,” we are always going to be shaken when uncertainty comes. 

The one thing that is certain is uncertainty. We just have to get used to that while knowing who we are, knowing what we want to do, and going for it regardless of the outside circumstances.

ALLIE: I don’t want this video to just be for this coronavirus time. I want it to be something people can come back to. 

There’s always going to be something that’s causing uncertainty or causing fear. The media, that’s all it is—fear, fear, fear. 

This is very real though. We’re seeing a lot of sickness. Whatever you believe about what is real and what is over-exaggerated is fine, but there’s something going on in the world right now. That’s a fact. 

I think that this has thrown a wrench into the day-to-day, ho-hum routine of, “I go to work to pay my bills, and then I come home and make dinner because I have to feed the family.” It’s almost this lifeless routine for so many people. And there’s been this wrench thrown into that so everyone’s out of their element and totally doing something different. 

They don’t really know how to be with their spouse. They don’t really know how to be with their kids. And it’s okay that you’re feeling that way, but that’s not the way we’re supposed to live. 

That’s not your purpose. That’s not how you were meant to live, how you were meant to function with your family and yourself. 

So, be thankful that the situation has caused you to see this truth and then do something about it. I think this has been my ongoing message during this time.

JAIME: Exactly. 90% of the people that I work with, coach, talk to, and come into contact with are literally zombies. 

We have these routines that we haven’t really chosen but life has chosen for us. We let our days happen to us. 

We go with the flow, go with what mainstream media says, go with this and go with that. My kids go to public school cause that’s just what you do. They go to the local school.

We don’t realize how many choices we actually have in our day. And like you said, I think this is throwing a massive wrench into our normalcy. 

It’s like, “Hold the phone. I don’t know who my spouse is. We haven’t actually connected in months. I don’t even like my kids right now.” You just don’t know how to function with each other. 

I think that so many people are so focused on how this is negative. And like you said, it’s not just the COVID-19. 

There’s always going to be something going on. There’s always something changing, something going on, something on social media. This is just bringing more attention to everyone because it’s forcing us to stop.

Feel it. Feel the stress, feel the anxiety, feel the negative emotions, feel the frustration, feel the disappointment, but don’t stay there. I think a lot of people stay there. 

Let these bad circumstances propel you into change. For example maybe you’re thinking, “Oh, I really can homeschool my kids, maybe not what the teachers want me to do. I really do like being home with my husband and my kids. Maybe this is a lifestyle that we can create for ourselves.” 

Allow this to open up new possibilities for you, your family, your marriage, and your lifestyle because we have choices.

ALLIE: Even in this circumstance, if you’re realizing, “Oh my, I really don’t like homeschooling. I really hate it. I just don’t like this vibe.” If you’re realizing the opposite, great! 

Discover and use this opportunity to learn and know yourself better. And say, “Wow, I’ve always wondered. And now I know I really don’t like that. I like the separation. I like having time to go to work, run the house, do my own thing, and then have the kids come home and I really miss that. Now I know that solidly about myself.” 

But we have to be in this right now. We all have to try. So how can you use the opportunity to better your relationship with your kids? How can you simplify the schooling so that you can better your relationship with your kids or whatever it looks like for you. 

The biggest thing that I’m always trying to tell women is that they have a choice. We have so much ownership that we give away. 

We give it away saying, “This is just the way things are done.” We give it away to opinions. 

I see a lot of women giving their ownership away to the person they are doing life with because they just don’t want conflict. They would rather not go there and deal with it.

Maybe you really don’t have strong opinions about a certain thing and you let him decide that. I have things like that too. That’s fine. But is that what it is or are you denying who you really are, pushing yourself down, back, and hushing yourself to just avoid conflict?

Do you even really know what you want? Or have you pushed it aside so much for so long that you only know what he wants or you only know what your mother-in-law wants you to want? 

Have you given up ownership in some area of your life? This time is going to bring that out.

JAIME: Going with what you said about knowing yourself, not allowing outside sources to dictate who you are, what you do, how you make your decisions—don’t make yourself so small that you allow that to happen. 

What I’m talking about today is how self-discovery and self-awareness leads to stability in so many ways. 

I can relate it to the first few years of marriage. The first few years of anybody’s marriage I don’t think is wonderful. I think it’s really freaking hard because you’re learning who this person is, what they are about, what it’s like living with this person, and do you even like them?

I can say for the first few years of our marriage we had so many issues because there was so much frustration and resentment that wasn’t verbalized because I didn’t understand. I didn’t get why I was so frustrated. I was making myself small, not voicing my opinion, and not being myself because I was fearful that he wouldn’t accept me or fearful that he would feel like he made a mistake marrying me. 

That’s all fear-based. And that is not where we want to live. Anything that is fear-based or fear-driven is really not going to get you anywhere.

I’m excited to talk about how self-discovery and self-awareness can lead to stability in different ways. Self-discovery is essentially thoughtful questions, getting yourself to the point where you’re thinking about and answering thoughtful questions, and you’re taking time to unlearn past conditioning and then relearn or create the life that you want. 

What this does is it interrupts those patterns. It fosters really, really deep insights. 

Then it leads to a positive change. It helps you make better decisions that are rooted in truth, that resonate well with you, with your marriage, with your family, with your faith, with whatever that is. 

It helps you know who the heck you are so that you are fully grounded and you don’t sway whichever way the wind blows.I have a bunch of bullet points and sample questions that we can go through and talk about a little bit more. 

ALLIE: I think this is important to do because how many women are there, myself (a few years ago) included, that have fallen backwards into motherhood and have lost sight of who they are? 

In the Made For This Mom course that I made with Kendra Hennessy, there’s this lesson where we talk about hobbies and enjoyment. That’s always where people get stuck and email in, “I literally do not have a hobby. I don’t read. I work out because I have to. I don’t really enjoy what I do for working out.” 

How many of us don’t know ourselves at all? You have your task list, your chores, your work, your family, and that’s it. 

I think that this is a really big problem. It’s common and it’s normal but it’s not healthy. Dare to go beyond that status quo. 

You and I are both always talking about stopping settling for status quo motherhood and start going above and beyond. Stretch your arms to magic, miracles, beauty, ownership, and feeling really good. Our natural state is to feel really good all the time. 

But we’re conditioned to think, “I don’t know myself. I don’t take care of myself. I don’t even know what time to myself really is.” And then there’s the stereotype of the self-care, bubble bath BS. 

This is really, really huge you guys and I need you to listen to this, focus on this, and understand that you came to this content on purpose. It’s not an accident. You need this and we’re here for you. 

Be open to that and if you feel resistance it’s because you’re conditioned to the status quo. Remember that as you guys are listening. 

JAIME: If you are triggered by something that we say, it’s not us saying something wrong, it’s unresolved things in you that haven’t been healed or dealt with. 

Being triggered is not necessarily something that’s bad. It’s only you perceiving that it’s bad. 

I am at the point now where I love being triggered. I love being upset because then I get to ask myself, “Why did that upset me so bad? Why am I so frustrated by what they just said? Did something happen in my past? Did it hit a raw spot? What is that raw spot?”

Now I’m at the point where I can ask myself questions to dig deep and say, “Oh, okay, I get it. This made me feel this way because of this. I don’t have to be a victim to that. I can allow that to propel me into a different mindset, different decisions, different habits.”

Don’t be afraid or resistant to being offended or triggered by anything that we’re saying because this is coming from our heart. We truly want to see you guys flourish and not be zombies to your life. 

We’ve both gone through that path of being a zombie to our life, doing whatever society says to do. And we said, “Nope. We’re done.” That’s just a little note before we dig in.

Knowing yourself gives you the opportunity to be proactive and to be solid in the decisions that are right for you and for your family. Decisions not rooted in fear, not rooted in outside influences or outside circumstances, but rooted in your truth, your faith, in alignment with your goals, dreams, and the vision for you and your family. 

ALLIE: There’s a reason that you feel like you want a certain thing. There’s a reason that you hold a certain vision for how your relationship with your kids will look when they’re older. 

We’re all so internal. We don’t really talk about this very often. A lot of us probably think everyone has the same vision. Everyone wants the same thing. 

I think you and I would know better than a lot of people, because we’re on a platform and we’re talking about these things. I have noticed resistance to the things that I think are really valuable—my core values—because they’re not the other person’s core values.

I’m really surprised by that every time. Not everyone wants the same thing.

Whenever you see something in a movie or in a friend’s life and it makes you emotional that you don’t have it (not from jealousy but from a real place of emotion and deep desire), that’s because it’s a vision that you have. That’s a core value. 

That’s something that you deeply desire to have in your life. And there’s a reason for that. 

It’s not just happenstance or accident. Whatever is important to you, whatever calls out your emotion and calls to your heart is your core value. 

This is why some women don’t ever really have a desire to work. They want to be stay-at-home moms. They love it and they feel like that is their purpose. That is where they’re thriving. 

Other women could never imagine it. It’s not that one is right and one is wrong. It’s that we’re all different. 

It’s huge to pay attention to and not suppress what you want. We’re so conditioned into doing that. But open up to it, look into it, and say, “What do I even want? What’s my vision?”

JAIME: One example that I can give for knowing yourself and talking about the vision that you want is the relationship that you want with your kids. 

In my mind, I imagine and desire this relationship with my kids where when they are teenagers we have this amazing relationship. They tell me anything. 

We talk about boyfriends, friends, stupid mistakes that people make, what is going on at school, or if they had a bad day. I imagine them walking in the house and freely telling me, “Oh my gosh, so-and-so did this and so-and-so did that, and my boyfriend said this.” Whatever that looks like. 

And past that, I imagine as my kids have babies and they’re older, they’re calling me every five minutes and we’re talking, laughing, and we live close to each other.

What that does for me is give me this vision. I know exactly who I am, what I want, what I want for my family. 

My husband and I are on the same page. That allows us to make more educated or more deeply-rooted decisions in our parenting right now.

Rather than focus on things like discipline and behavior, we focus on relationships and connecting with our kids so we can foster that relationship now. 

Having that deeply-rooted understanding of what I want, who we are, what we’re about, what we value, allows us to make decisions without guilt, without second guessing ourselves. 

It gives us our power back as parents and as humans. Without self-discovery, without knowing who I am, without having this self-awareness and these deep, important conversations, we would be going with the flow of, “Go to timeout. Do this, do that.” 

We would just be dictating to our kids, which is fine if that’s how you want to parent. You do your thing, but don’t do it unconsciously. 

Don’t do it because that’s just what you do as a parent. Do it because that’s where your values lie, that’s what you believe in, and that’s what you want for your kids.

You can do this in literally every single area of your life. If you’re not rooted in that confident level of assurance, you will always be swayed in any direction with parenting, with your marriage, with your job, with your schedule, with your self-care.

I’m a self-care strategist, so I help women learn how to take care of themselves. A lot of times women say, “I have to wake up. I have to meditate. I have to journal. I have to do this; I have to do that,” because they saw an influencer do that. 

But maybe that doesn’t resonate with them. Maybe that doesn’t work with their schedule. Maybe that’s not their Enneagram type and that’s not what fills them up. 

Without that self-discovery and knowledge of who you are, you’re not able to serve yourself well. You’re going to be swayed by whatever someone posts, whatever’s on the news, whatever illness is going around. You’re not going to have any stability.

ALLIE: I love your example of the morning routine because I feel like people are waiting for someone to tell them what to do rather than discovering who they are. They are taking little bits and pieces of what they liked. 

There’s a reason that you really love me sharing about my morning routine. There’s a reason you really love Jenna Kutcher or whoever else is sharing about what they do. 

There’s a reason you don’t like the way yours is going right now. Use that. Take bits and pieces, but know yourself.

Know if you’re a morning person or not. Know what your schedule is. 

Is this a forced thing? Do you have to be up at a certain time because your kids have to go to school or you have to go to work or whatever? There’s so much at play. 

What this looks like for me is when I get excited about something I ask myself, “What is it about this that I like? Is there anything about that time of day for me that I don’t like right now?”

I went through this a couple of years ago when I no longer needed to get up at the crack of dawn and start my day. I used to get up at four or five in the morning because I had to. I made a choice that I needed to get my business going and that was when it was going to work so I did it.

Then I was left with, “Oh wait, I don’t have to do this anymore.” My kids weren’t super small, getting up and needing everything from me. They can get themselves breakfast now. It shifted.

I struggled with that identity of, “I’m the one that has a strong morning routine. I’m the one that tells everyone to get up earlier.” I struggled with realizing that’s not going to work for me anymore. 

See what inspires you, learn from it, but don’t be so identity-less that you now grasp onto someone else’s morning routine and somebody else’s keys to a happy marriage. 

I love what you said about parenting. If you’re identity-less then you will literally grab onto whatever fits your denomination, faith or whatever.

For me, I was raised really Christian. The parenting there is spanking, spare the rod/spoil the child, timeouts, and pushing kids in a certain way. 

That didn’t vibe with me at all. We’ve really gone the other way because I know there’s a reason this doesn’t feel right. 

If it doesn’t feel good, should we really be doing that to our children? There’s a reason I’m their mom and I’m not feeling good about this.

JAIME: That intuition, that discernment, whatever you want to call it, was given to you for a reason. You know what doesn’t feel right. 

You know when your body, your mind, and your heart, which are all connected, say, “Stop. This isn’t right. It doesn’t feel good. It’s giving me anxiety. It’s making me feel guilty. I feel convicted.” 

Listen to that. You don’t have to conform to this religion, this person, this morning routine, or this self-care routine. 

It goes back to this whole self-discovery, self-awareness thing. Know the season of life that you’re in. Knowing your season will help you make better decisions. 

I am not a morning person. I hate the morning. I am not a human. I’m not nice. I’m so pissy. I’m so grumpy.

But I crave that early morning time. I want it. I love the quiet time in the mornings when my body does wake me up. 

But my mom is the same way. My grandma is the same way. In that morning time we’re just not human. 

I’ve learned that I’m going to listen to my body. I’m going to listen to what my body needs. My body is a very, very smart thing. I’m going to listen to it and modify. 

I follow this girl who talks about all this self-care stuff and her rituals. She has no kids. I have four. 

I would love my day to look like that. I would love to work out on my bike, meditate, and have these beautiful journals. 

ALLIE: It comes down to a choice. Your spirit and your body are not separate. 

You are a spirit with a body, not a body with a spirit. And they’re all aligned. 

So if you get that anxious feeling of, “I love this idea of a morning routine, but I am really anxious starting this tomorrow,” don’t do it. Do that practice in the afternoon. Build your life around what flows.

JAIME: Absolutely. 

Again, all of this goes back to knowing who the heck you are.

We’re going to walk you through some steps of how to do that and what questions to ask yourself. There’s literally a million and one questions that you can ask yourself.

Oftentimes we don’t know who we are when we get married or when we have kids, especially if we get married quite young. How much do you change from when you’re in your early twenties to your thirties? 

You’re a different human. You’re a different person. 

A lot of times this character development can be dictated. Or you can take the opportunity to learn about yourself, create your own reality through taking time to discover who you are. You have to take this time.

Push away that idea of, “I don’t have time,” or, “I can’t do it.” Make the time. 

Know who you are because it’s going to serve you. It’s going to serve your family. It’s going to serve your spouse, your marriage, your future, your life so much better when you’re deeply rooted in knowing who the heck you are.

This can be biblical or this can not be biblical. I don’t care if you believe in Jesus or you don’t believe in Jesus. It doesn’t matter. 

It doesn’t have to be a religious or a spiritual practice, or it can be a religious or spiritual practice. You decide. 

Who are you? What do you want? What do you believe in? 

What’s your faith? Are you in this faith because your parents told you to be or are you in this faith because you truly know in your heart and your body that Jesus has saved you? 

ALLIE: And you have experienced that for yourself.  I think that’s so important. I think that’s a beautiful example of self-discovery. What do I believe? 

I want to mention this because you mentioned faith. I think having children that are a little bit older (not babies and toddlers) who start to ask you questions is a really beautiful time to not put pressure on yourself and just invite the questions in. 

As kids ask questions and you have a hard time answering them about faith (or whatever you were raised in, or whatever you’re currently raising them in), it is such a great time to say, “I don’t really know that. Crap, I wish they didn’t ask that.” Go and read a book. Figure it out.

It’s discovery, not self-knowing. You won’t always know everything. 

There’s a lot of things right now that I’m learning how I feel about. I’m learning what I believe. I’m praying about it. I’m asking God to show me. 

I’m reading both sides and trying to figure it out. And that’s okay because that’s the discovery part. 

JAIME: And it’s never like, “Oh I’ve discovered myself and that’s it.” Your seasons are always changing. Circumstances are always changing. Relationships are always changing. 

Your life is completely different when you have newborns at home than when you have a 12-year-old who is asking questions about her body—her body’s changing, her faith, her identity, friends and all those things. 

You have to change. They have to change. You have to give each other the opportunity to flourish into whoever you are.

And talking about self-discovery, give your kids the opportunity to discover who they are, not who you want them to be. Discover who you are, why you are who you are, recondition yourself and then give them the same opportunity to do that. 

We’re walking through that. I have a 9-year-old and I have a 12-year-old. I also have a 2-year-old and a 4-year-old. We’ve got lots of different things. 

We have to give our children the opportunity to figure out who they are. Not because we dictated that. They have faith, not because we said they had to have this faith, but because they’ve truly experienced that. 

For me that’s a very different opinion than most people in the church. Most people in the church say, “Nope, raise a kid in the way and they won’t turn away.” But I don’t know anyone who is a Christian because their parents were a Christian.

ALLIE: And there’s never been any other question. They’ve never experienced anything. They just are robotically following. 

JAIME: And if so, there’s going to come a time where your faith is going to be shaken.

I think that we really have to give our kids the opportunity to experience this for themselves and give them some self-discovery questions for themselves. As you get better at this and you understand what it is, what it’s about, you have these questions for yourself, you can start to teach that to your kids. 

It’s important. They’re a human of their own.

I have six people in my house. We’re all individuals. We’re all humans with different wants, different desires, different needs.

Allowing everyone else and yourself to know that we’ll give everyone the freedom to be who they are and know that they are genuinely loved for whoever they are, makes a big difference. But it starts with you. It really does. 

You have to be the one to lead everyone in this. Most of the time no one’s leading their kids in this because they don’t even know who they are themselves. 

ALLIE: It’s a spiraling effect. 

I always try to emphasize that I am not here to help people declutter. I am not here to help people clean less. I’m not even really here to help people spend more time on what matters to them. 

I’m here to help women leave a legacy they can be proud of. One they can intentionally sign their name to, leave this world and know, “I changed the pattern. I was not status quo. I left my mark and I left a good mark.”

That is not going to happen if you are just reacting to life all the time. Whatever’s in your calendar that day, you just show up and react. 

You react to your husband. You react to your kids. You react to the house. 

You react to everything. And everything is happening to you because how you spend your days is how you spend your life.

In the end what you’re going to have is just a bunch of reactions. Not any intention and knowing.  

This takes ownership. You have to own how things have gone so far, that you want them to be different, and what is the problem? 

What do I need to figure out? Journal, talk it out, have some quiet time, whatever your process is, figure it out and change the conversations around the dinner table. 

Go for a walk with your kids and ask them what they think about something. It’s super simple. 

We don’t want to overwhelm you guys, but it is really important. This is your life. This is your legacy, whether you intentionally leave it or not.

JAIME: Absolutely.

Having that lack of self-awareness, of knowing who you are, that allows room for lies to be spoken over you and for other people to create your life story instead of you taking charge. 

That’s one of the exercises I do with the women that I coach and in my courses as we talk about the lies that have been spoken over us and how to differentiate. What are the things that were spoken over you that you repeat in your head over and over and over again? What truths can we speak over that? 

For example, I’ve always been told that I was rebellious, too much, too loud or too, too, too. It was always too much. And I would always try to make myself smaller and try to not be so opinionated.

And it’s gone against every grain in my being, instead of me covering that in a truth. For me it’s a biblical truth. He created me. It wasn’t by accident. 

He designed me and created me, cell by cell, to make my mind, my heart, and my desires. By being in constant communion with Him, my desires aligned with His. 

But without having that awareness, without knowing that, understanding that, and taking the actual time to say, “No, these are things that other people spoke over me. That’s their opinion. That’s not fact. That doesn’t dictate who I am, what I do, and what I’m about. But this does—my faith, these truths and I cover myself in that.” That allows me to now function.

Instead of those things being negative things against me, I’ve allowed those things to have an online platform, teach women, start a podcast, change lives. These are great things that He’s given me. 

But if I just listened to those lies other people spoke over me, I would’ve made myself small. I never would have started a business. 

I would have kept my mouth shut. I wouldn’t talk about things that most people don’t like talking about like money or sex or whatever, because I would be too fearful that I’m going to continue to be judged. 

Okay, friend, I’ve got a truth bomb for you. I really want you to listen because I’ve been thinking about this a lot. 

I’ve been waiting weeks to be able to talk to you about this.

I’ve been creating something brand new behind the scenes for you and I really want you to hear me. 

The lifestyle that you want to live, the person that you want to be, that version of yourself that you really deeply want to become all starts with mindset shifts. 

If you only change your external surroundings and you don’t change anything internally, you will always come back to old habits. You’ll always come back to your old normal, your old comfort zone. 

This is why when you decide that you want to stop yelling, you can’t just put a post-it on your mirror to remind yourself to choose calm, choose peace because internally you’re still the same version of yourself. You’re still a person that yells. 

You haven’t worked on your mindset. You haven’t changed your inner identity to a person who doesn’t respond by yelling anymore. 

This is why people will decide they want to get healthy and lose weight and they change their external environment. They hire a trainer. They throw out all their junk food. They buy new workout clothes. 

But after a few weeks at most, they fall off the wagon again, right? They come right back to where they were. They come right back to who they are. 

You have to change your internal environment. 

This is why I am so, so big on mindset. This is also really important to be talking about for women and for motherhood. 

This is something that I have been working on for you for months and it’s finally ready!

I’m calling it the Mom Mindset Bundle because it is a collection of specially curated video trainings, audio trainings, and a full workbook and it’s in the form of a brand new course!

This Mom Mindset Bundle is really about inner work. 

Do you desire to identify as that ideal version of yourself? You’re already her. You already have the traits of this intentional, purposeful version of you that you want to be. You already are her. We just need to tweak some things and pull those traits that you already have out, change the inner environment so that you can start to live in your outer environment as that person. 

It’s actually really simple. 

Do you want to get some serious action steps to radically change your life in ways that so few people are really talking about for us moms? Do you want to increase your confidence in yourself? Do you want to crush the self-sabotage cycle in your life? 

Do you want to radically shift your limiting beliefs around living and around motherhood? Do you want to learn to live in a state of ownership, not in victim-to-your-circumstances mode? Do you want to set yourself, your family and your home on a better, lighter, more purposeful path?

You can experience mental shifts, energetic shifts just from playing the videos and the audios in the background, in your car or while you get ready for the day. Seriously, just that. That’s not even counting the workbook and all the inner work I’m going to walk you through. 

If you want to experience those energetic shifts just from hitting play on the content in here, that’s how helpful, how shifting, how high energy the stuff in this bundle is! This is for you!

It’s brand new! It’s finally released and ready for you to enroll!

Go to You can get all the deets and more information. You can see if it’s for you. Hint, it totally is!

I can’t wait for you to get in there!

Go to and check it out! I can’t wait to see you on the other side!

Change is as close as your next breath. You can make these changes. You can break habits. 

You can be the version of yourself that you have deeply desired to be for so long and have continued to try but fall off the wagon and come back to the same old, same old. 

There is a way to break that cycle. There’s nothing special about people that you’ve watched on TV, in the world, or in real life who have really broken habits, made changes, and stuck with it. 

It’s just internal and external change, not just external. I can help you with this! 

There’s so much power in this bundle!

Please go and check it out.

See you in there!

ALLIE: My story is also like that, that I’m too much. “Don’t be in it for that reason. Just help. Just do it for this. Money doesn’t matter. Attention, fame—that doesn’t matter.” That is literally what was spoken over me every day my entire childhood, and look at what God ended up doing with me. 

Do you see how counter and how harmful that was? It’s a direct attack on the call on my life. 

It wasn’t until self-discovery, journaling, praying, talking to God, tapping into my subconscious, meditating, getting still and figuring out what was harmful and what was true. 

What is actually true? These are the things that I have in my life. I have this availability. I have this platform. I’m going to use it. I’m not going to be ashamed of it or water it down to make everyone else comfortable. 

All of this stuff, it’s so many layers. No matter what your job is, what your day is like, or what your family is like, if you have a family or not, it’s all extra and it’s all related to you. 

The basis is knowing yourself. You cannot know God, you cannot know something bigger than you, you cannot know your purpose if you don’t know yourself.

JAIME: It’s so true. There were so many things that were spoken over me. 

In my workbook, one of the exercises we go through is talking about covering those lies with truths. And there’s been so many for me—I’m too confrontational. I’m too strong of a personality. I’m too outspoken.

Being able to cover that and say that I’m not too confrontational; I’m comfortable with confrontation. I’m willing to fight for what matters. 

Shift those sentences, create positivity, create change, and help others through that. It is game-changing. 

If you don’t know who you are, if you don’t spend time with yourself, if you don’t have insane questions that you can ask yourself to figure those things out, you’re always going to be dictated by the opinions of other people.

Even opinions from our parents are not a fact. That’s one of the most profound sentences that my grandfather said to me. 

It’s actually my stepdad’s dad, but we were in a conversation and he doesn’t ever speak up. He is non-confrontational. He’s the sweetest human alive. 

We were in a conversation and my mom and my stepdad were saying things to me and he just stopped everything right there. He looked me straight in the eye and he said, “That’s their opinion. That is not a fact.” 

That was the first mind-blowing thing that differentiated my parents, other people, or what they spoke over me not being a fact. That was mind blowing to me.

ALLIE: But you’re taking it all in and you’re also giving value to what they’re saying. You’re giving meaning to what they’re saying. You’re identifying with what they’re saying, which is so dangerous because you can’t identify with what anyone else says to you or about you because you have to protect and guard your heart. 

Leave it there, put a pin in it until you can know yourself and figure out is that the truth for me? Is that what I want? Why does this feel so icky? I need to work through this. That’s still important. 

I think that is something that I’m learning the most this year with the platform and the people that follow me and the opinions. Every time I open my mouth I get tons of positive feedback and some negative feedback like, “I’m so disappointed in you that you said it like that.” Or, “It just seems like you’ve been taken over by the liberals.” 

That’s one of the reviews that I just read on my podcast, so it’s fresh in my mind. That was just ridiculous. 

Okay, you’re allowed to feel that way. I wish that you would do something more positive with your fingers on social media, but you do you. 

If you assign identity and meaning to what other people say to you and about you, it’s a recipe for being so miserable and so lost. It’s not healthy to live that way.

JAIME: No, it’s not at all. 

Most people, the things that they project, the things that they say, are most of the time not coming from a healthy point or a healthy perspective. They’re projecting their past, their insecurities, their fears, their doubts, whatever it is, onto you.

If you take that on, it’s perpetuating this continual, unhealthy, messy, weird saying and just passing it on. So stop it. 

Be that generational difference. Be different. Know who you are and make that change. 

Self-discovery allows you to give and to serve from your strengths because you know your strengths and you know your weaknesses. You can work on those weaknesses or just be good with having those weaknesses.

You can say, “I’m really good at A, B & C and I’m going to use those to propel my business, to help others, to serve in the church.” Or whatever you want to do. It doesn’t matter.

But knowing your strengths, knowing yourself, having that self-discovery gives you the ability to be able to give and to serve with those strengths. Self-discovery allows you to ask for help when you need it, without the guilt. 

There’s so much guilt surrounding help. We were not created to do everything by ourselves. 

ALLIE: Yeah, like the whole village thing, you know? Most other countries live in multigenerational homes. 

JAIME: Now, it’s really individualized, which is a good thing. But also it’s been the biggest downfall for our families.

ALLIE: It’s just 100% that way. Live in your own home. Be separate. Have boundaries. 

I think space with family members can sometimes be the best thing for a person. But surround yourself with other help. I’m speaking to myself here, too, you guys. 

Be able to call a friend and say, “I’m having a really hard day. I just need someone to tell me what is true here.” Even saying that, I feel that weakness because that’s what I was taught. But it’s not true at all.

JAIME: No, it’s not. We’ve really made it a point to have that village and create that village. 

One priority my husband and I talked about when we moved here to Texas was creating that village. Having a group of friends that felt like family that we could be unfiltered with, that we could talk to about our problems and do life with. And now with all this going on, we’re cultivating that kind of relationship with all of our neighbors and the neighbors’ kids. 

For example, they knew we were out of eggs, so they got us eggs. I knew that they gave us their eggs, so I got them eggs when I went to the store. It’s cultivating this community of people.

We knew that was a value that we wanted to instill in our family and in us and it was a priority that we really wanted to make. Now we’ve cultivated that and it’s so cool to be able to send my kids (not right now) to the neighbor’s house because they know that I’m on a conference call. Or call my girlfriend up and say, “I need this, drop it off at my house,” without the guilt of knowing that it’s reciprocal. 

I am serving these people; they are serving me; we’re doing life together. 

I knew myself enough to know that I hated not having it for years and years and years. I was so devastated because we didn’t have family around. 

I was so focused on it has to be family. Then when we moved I said, “What am I doing? I’m stunting our relationships unintentionally because I’m so focused on it having to be this way.”

Self-discovery can allow you to have and create boundaries with ease. Boundaries are something that are so uncomfortable for people. 

When you know yourself, when you know your marriage, when you know your priorities, when you know your values, when you know what you want, what you don’t want, you can create boundaries without a care in the world because you know that no one else is writing the checks for us. No one else is sitting in the ER room when our son breaks his arm. No one else is dealing with the repercussions of our decisions but us as a family. 

Knowing these things gives you the opportunity to say, “Actually, that won’t work for us.” Or, “Please don’t speak to us that way.” Or, “We’re actually not gonna do that.” 

It gives you the ability to create those boundaries with ease so it’s not uncomfortable. How you feel really isn’t at the top of my priority list. My family is or my job is.

ALLIE: It has to be the truth too. I think what bothers me so much is that it sounds so harsh because we are conditioned to not be selfish. But it is so selfish to be available to everyone all the time, to say yes to everything all the time, to always be serving. 

It is so selfish. I know people in my life that have done that and their children are resentful of them because they were always helping everyone else and not really fully present for their own family. 

Not always, not everywhere, but there’s a lot out there in the traditional Christian religion where it’s the church this and the church that, everything for the church, give, give, give. How many people listening to this have experience helping at a church in some way and getting overrun and totally taken advantage of?

It’s such a shame because that does not reflect Jesus, but a lot of the time it reflects the truth in the church. No one’s really helping, so when people do, they just get taken advantage of.

How much better would it serve you if you were able to help (whether at church, a charity, or GirlScouts for your daughter or whatever it is for you) but also know yourself enough to say, “I totally see that. I’d love to help. I’m available these times. I’m available to do this, but not that. I can help you and give you my expertise on this. I’ll record a 30-minute video for you to learn how to do that. But I can’t actually implement it for you because I have to run a business.”

I think self-discovery is freedom. It’s freedom to have boundaries and it’s knowing how to implement those confidently without “shaking legs syndrome.”

JAIME: Absolutely.

I’m not a PTA mom. My kids go to public school right now but I am not a PTA mom. It’s not my jam. I can’t do it. I’ve tried. 

I have learned that I don’t do it well. I used to feel really guilty about that, but now I’m like, “No, but I do like this, this, this and this,” and I serve in a million other ways. That allows me to reserve that energy for the things that matter and the things that I do well. 

With this self-discovery, now I’m able to say, “No,” without guilt, without any fear, without any anxiety. I can say, “No.” Or, “Actually, I would love to do that and that sounds good.” Or, “I’m not the best fit for that.” Or, “I’m not able to give it the time and the attention that it deserves, so my answer is a no for right now and if that changes, I’ll let you know.” 

Even with school right now, with this whole pandemic thing going on, all these moms are freaking out and stressing about this homeschool. First of all, that’s not homeschool. 

What they’re asking you to do is not homeschool. What they’re asking you to do literally is impossible. I could go on a whole tangent about that. 

But because I know the values of our home and what I want the energy and spirit of our home to be, I was able to email the teachers and say, “I sincerely appreciate all of this work that you’re putting into this. And I see how hard this is for you. But at this time it’s not feasible to do what you’re asking. These are the things that we are going to do.” 

I didn’t feel bad. I didn’t feel guilty. Maybe that might change in two weeks and we can do that schedule when we’re in a different system and a different rhythm.

But I was able to say that and do that with ease. I communicated it in a loving way that wasn’t rude, wasn’t disrespectful, but it was a way that allowed us to align our daily decisions with our values, with our systems, with our rhythms, with our schedule, with all the things that we wanted our home to be like. 

I was able to make that decision with ease because I know what I am capable of. I know my capacity. I know what would be good and what wouldn’t be good for my family. 

They said, “Do a 9:00 AM or an 8:00 AM Zoom call every day.” I said, “We’re still sleeping. Everyone in my house sleeps in. I’m not doing that. I’m not going to wake everyone up, have everyone be pissy, be stressed out because we’re waking up early. I’m going to use this opportunity to align our schedules with what our bodies are really asking for.” And clearly my family needs rest.

ALLIE: It’s taking the opportunity out of opportunity by throwing yourself back into the school schedule when this is an opportunity to rest. It’s not mandatory. It’s probably not even really going to be helpful. 

The kids are reading, they’re drawing, they’re writing. We’re good. Or send me the replay. 

If you do an afternoon one let me know. I think that’s really great. I think that’s really helpful for people in this time.

All of this is applicable for every area. It’s applicable for every person but it’s a lot. 

So, what exactly does this look like? I know you have a process, so talk about that. I know you have a PDF and stuff too. Could you help people understand what they can do right now to walk through this?

JAIME: Think of it like if you sat down and were interviewing someone for a job and you wanted to know what they were about, what their values were, what their characteristics were, what questions would you ask them? Ask yourself those.

Or if I’m going on a first date with someone and I want to get to know someone, what would I ask them? Go on a date with yourself and ask yourself those questions. 

What’s your 5-year plan? What’s your 10-year plan? Ask yourself those questions. 

I have a bunch of sample questions that I’ll read off, but I also created a PDF for you guys that has 25 self-discovery journaling prompts in it. 

The best practices for doing this whole exercise is to sit down, split the questions up and only do a couple at a time. Don’t overwhelm yourself. If you just want to do one question a day and you just have 5 minutes, 10 minutes, 20 minutes to sit down, just ask yourself one question a day and really make it count. 

Don’t rush. Pace yourself. Ask yourself one question in the morning and/or one in the evening. 

Another one is do this in your quiet time away from your family. Don’t try to do it with everyone around. 

If that means late at night, great. If it means during nap time, cool. 

If it means you wake up at 5:00 AM, do whatever time works for you. Do it in the quiet time when you can actually be focused.

Keep this private. The number one recommendation I have with this is that you’ll feel more inclined to be truthful in your responses if you know that no one else is reading them, so make sure that this is private. 

Once you get through this, it might be a cool exercise to do with your spouse or have your spouse do it as well. And then you guys can talk about the questions that you feel comfortable talking about to each other.

But it’s really important to be able to work through this privately and to know that no one’s reading this. No one’s going to judge me. This is just for me and for me to grow.

ALLIE: I’ve been talking with a lot of the women in my community. We’ve been polling people, figuring this out, and it’s been mind blowing to me to realize that not everyone journals or processes by writing things out. I’ve been so shocked by that.

I looked at this PDF, but you don’t have to write it out. If you need to go for a walk and talk it out to yourself or record a voicemail on your phone so that you have that saved.

If you’re an internal processor don’t feel pressured, rushed, or forced to have to record it somewhere. It’s about just internally thinking through this, figuring this out. 

If journaling is your way, then great. It’s there for you but don’t feel pressured to do it in the format that it’s in. Process however works best for you. 

JAIME: Absolutely. And if you are an external processor and you have to talk it out, call someone and say, “I’m going through this and I would really love to do it with someone. Are you open to talking about this with me?” 

Whatever works for you. It doesn’t matter how it’s done. 

One thing that has been so helpful to me is I use a website. It’s the jankiest website ever, but it’s so good. 

It really needs to be redesigned. It’s called

What you do is you check in every morning, every day, or whatever and you write 750 words and it’s totally private. It’s your own account. 

I think it’s $5 a month, something silly. You just write. It’s really weird at first because you wonder what do I write about? What do I say? 

Then it actually analyzes it. Once you’re done writing, it says, “This was your overall mood. These were the words that you use often.” 

And it’s really cool to see you used “I” often or you used “hate” often or whatever it is. I’ve found that doing this journaling practice for myself really helps me. 

Sometimes I write out prayers, sometimes I write out what I hate about my spouse that day, things that I want to change, the way that I’m feeling, or just venting. It allows you to process through your thoughts and your mind. It’s a really cool practice that I started doing. 

It doesn’t have any prompting questions, nothing. It literally is just a blank page. It shows your word count. You just type and it times you. It’s a really cool tool to just write.

ALLIE: It’s self-discovery to realize I am feeling really mad today or whatever it is. Life is so busy and there’s so much to think about. 

Do you ever feel in your quiet time you’re like, “Okay, I’ve got 20 minutes.” I sometimes say, “Oh dang, I didn’t start early enough and now I have this interview that I’ve got to get on at 10:30 so now I have to fit this in.” 

I think it’s really helpful to have a fallback of like the 750words site thing, dump it all in there, and connect with, “I am feeling really rushed. I am feeling really anxious. I am feeling too busy. I want to cancel stuff.” 

I think that’s really simple and really helpful.

JAIME: It is. 

A lot of times I find when I have my quiet time I’m like, “There’s so much stuff I want to do. Should I read right now or should I meditate?”

One of my girlfriends started going to counseling and her counselor said, “I want you to journal every day. I want you just to write.” And she said, “What? What do I write? I don’t understand.” 

I had recommended 750words to her. 

I’m going to list off a couple of questions, just some sample questions. I think some of these are going to be different than the ones that are in that guide because I wanted to make sure that there was some other content. There’s different questions that you can ask yourself. 

What matters to me most? What are my most important values and am I living in ways that are or are not aligned with those values? 

What is my life’s purpose? What are the foundational scriptures that keep me rooted in faith? 

What are my personal gifts? What are three words that describe me best? 

What is one thing I would love to do less of or more of and why? What would I like to stop worrying about? 

How am I censoring what I really think or feel? What holds me back from being authentic? 

How do I sabotage myself? How do I feel about self-care and how does that affect the quality of my life? 

How much do I trust myself? Do I listen to others more than I listen to myself? 

How do I feel about the relationship with my body? Do I feel comfortable expressing myself? Do I feel seen, heard and valued? 

Ask yourself all sorts of questions to figure out who you are.  

Who the heck am I? What influences have changed my life? Good or bad. 

What would I erase from my memory if I could? And why? What would life look like if I did erase that from my memory? 

ALLIE: This can help you be so much more tender, patient, and kind to yourself too. On the Enneagram I’m an 8 so I just push, push, shove. I would be the athlete that plays with a broken finger or whatever. 

What does it take to get the job done and to be the best? I don’t care if I die after. I just want to be the best. That serves me so well, but I know now when it’s damaging, when to turn it off, and when to not care and put it aside. 

Everything you just said is so important when it comes to being gracious with yourself, knowing when to dish out grace, and when you’re using it as an excuse and you need to push on. Give yourself space to be hurt. 

How can you know if you don’t give it space to come into your conscious to know, “I didn’t realize how badly that was bothering me.” Or, “I just didn’t realize that I really feel this way and fear is holding me back from being my authentic self. I don’t want to live like that.” 

Work through it. It’s a platform for being kind to yourself. 

JAIME: I want to shed a little bit of light on the language that you just used. Our bodies, our minds are physiologically connected. They’re not separate beings like people used to think. 

Our mind has a massive effect on our body. The things that we think actually create physiological changes in our body, which a lot of people don’t understand. 

Our brains function 90% in the subconscious and only 10% in the conscious. So we’re only conscious of 10% of what is up in our brains. The other 90% is subconscious. Our mind has literally hidden memories, things that people have said about us, in our subconscious so that we can survive because we are primed to survive.

Our body was designed for us to survive. We actually have to train our body and train our minds to not just survive, but to flourish and to thrive. And part of that means that we have to go through the process of digging into that subconscious, digging into the unconscious mind. 

It’s not BS. It’s not against religion. It is fact that that is how our brain is primed and that is how God created us. 

All those things can be married together. When we’re saying you have to go into that subconscious, that’s what we’re saying. 

We’re saying that your body has blocked things out, your mind has blocked things out, because it wants to protect itself. It wants to just continue to survive. It takes work to dig into that subconscious and bring it to your conscious. 

It’s rare that I’m shaken by things. I’m not shaken by the media. I couldn’t care less what other people say. I am deeply rooted in my truth. 

But when this pandemic hit, I was feeling panicked. Why am I feeling so panicked?

I went through this whole process of really sitting in that feeling, allowing it to be there and saying, “I’m feeling so panicked because I’m feeling out of control.” I don’t like feeling out of control because of something that I specifically experienced in my childhood that I had no control over and that has affected me my entire life. 

Taking the time, slowing down, sitting in those feelings, and connecting the dots allowed me to have that anxiety dissipate, have that fear and panic to dissipate because I was able to say, “This is why it’s triggering me so bad and it’s okay. Even when I think I’m in control, I’m not in control.” 

I was able to cover myself in prayers and in things to make me feel better about the situation, self-soothe.  

This isn’t new-age stuff that we’re talking about. The Lord created us this way. 

ALLIE: The more I dive in the more I see that the biblical truths, the ancient truths of God and science complement each other. They bring out the truth in each other. They don’t contradict. 

If this has opened up something for you, dive in all the way. Meditating and being still is essential. 

It is good for you. It’s not a weird thing. It’s not foreign. 

It is so harmful that people think knowing yourself, getting still, looking within is harmful. That is so important. You cannot be a healthy person without doing that. 

That Emotionally Healthy Spirituality book…if you are Christian, please go read that book. It’s so life changing. It is so important. We worked through it in a study through my church last year and it was so transformative for me. Really, really good.

Get this download from Jaime. It’s free. She pulled it straight out of her paid course for you guys. Let’s thank her for that. 

Take the download and support her. After they opt in for it, they get an email from you delivering it, correct? Guys, I want to encourage you to hit reply and thank Jaime. Be generous back. 

Take a minute to let her know how this made you feel and what you got out of it. She probably won’t be able to respond to everyone, but put encouragement in her inbox, be generous back, and bless her for doing this for us. 

I think that we’ve learned today that taking a beat and being kind to ourselves allows us to be kind to others. What an amazing way to start that off by doing something for yourself, downloading this thing, working through the prompts, hitting reply to that email and telling Jaime how this impacted you, what you thought about it, and just give her some love and something positive to read.

We, as influencers, get lots of negative and there’s a lot of negative going on in the world, so we’re going to choose to spread peace, bring joy and generosity, and support each other in this. 

Thank you so much, Jaime, for being here. I saw all the work you put into this. I saw all your notes that you pulled out, that you made specifically for them. Thank you so much for showing up for my women in this way. 

Jaime: Absolutely. Thanks for having me. 

ALLIE: All right guys. We’re going to hop off. Stay safe. Stay in peace. Feel free to DM either of us and let us know what you thought and how this helped you. 

This was an episode of The Purpose Show. Did you know there is an exclusive community created solely for the purpose of continuing discussions surrounding The Purpose Show episodes? And to get you to actually take action and make positive changes on the things that you learn here? Go be a part of it. To join go to

Thank you so much for tuning in. If you are ready to uplevel and really take action on the things I talk about on my show, and get step-by-step help from me, head to There are free downloads, courses, classes, and ways to learn more about what the next step might look like for you and to focus on whatever you might need help with in whatever season you are in right now.  

I am always rooting for you, friend! See ya next time!


Hey mama! Just a quick note, this post may contain affiliate links.

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