Self Care

Ep 165: Let’s Talk About What’s Happening In Your Bedroom

August 3, 2020

I'm allie

I'm here to shake things up and challenge the status quo of motherhood. Let's throw out the old rulebook and create a new narrative where moms are living their dream lives unapologetically.

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I get it, daily routines can be overwhelming. But you? You're seeking life ownership. Dive into this beloved guide and tap into easy self-reflection, without overtaxing your brain.

In this week’s episode I’m doing something I’ve never done on the Purpose Show before. I’m getting really detailed and talking about a specific room in the house—your bedroom. We’re going to talk about creating an intentional space for rest and peace because it is so important to have a relaxing, peaceful space that’s just for you or you and your spouse. So, let’s dive in! 




In This Episode Allie Discusses:

  • Her philosophy of minimalism 

  • Why “rules” don’t work 

  • How to set up your bedroom to be a haven

Mentioned in this Episode:


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A step-by-step guide to decluttering for the mom who’s tired of cleaning up.

This is my realistic, globally-praised philosophy of a simplified home that is changing lives everywhere! It’s the A to Z of implementing minimalism in your home so you can clear the clutter, reduce your stress, and create space for what matters.



Mom life. We’re surrounded by the message that it’s the tired life. The no-time-for-myself life. The hard life. We’re supposed to get through it. Survive. Cling on by the last little thread. And at the same time, Carpe Diem—enjoy every moment because it’s going to go by so fast. The typical mom culture that sends us all kinds of mixed, typically negative messages. We shouldn’t take care of ourselves; it’s selfish. The more ragged you run yourself, the bigger your badge of honor. But also, ditch your mom bod and work out. Don’t yell. Make more money. Show up. Be better, but not at the expense of time with your kids. I am putting a hard stop to all of this. While being a mom, running a business, and whatever else you might have going on is hard, it is a lot and there’s lots of giving of yourself, the idea that motherhood means living a joyless, nonstop-hustle-with-zero-balance kind of life, where you give and give and give and never take, needs to stop. 

I’m on a mission to help you stop counting down the minutes till bedtime (at least most days). Stop the mom guilt and shame game. Stop cleaning up after your kids’ childhood and start being present for it. I want to help you thrive in work, home and life. I believe in John 10:10 that we are called to living an abundant life and I know moms are not excluded from that promise. Join me in conversations about simplicity, some business and life hacks, spirituality and lots of other good stuff that leads to a life of less for the sake of enjoying more in your motherhood. I’m Allie Casazza and this is The Purpose Show.

Hello, beautiful friend. Welcome back to The Purpose Show podcast. My name is Allie Casazza and I am so excited that you’re here with me today. 

If you’re new here, welcome! I’m really, really glad to have you and this is actually a great episode for you to begin listening to, so if a friend sent you here or you happened to just pick this episode to listen to, I’m really, really glad that you’re starting here. 

We’re going to go back to my roots today. We’re going to talk about minimalism. We’re going to get detailed and talk about a specific room in the home, which I have not done here on The Purpose Show. 

If you’re not familiar, my philosophy of minimalism is really different than a lot of the trends and other teachers out there, because it’s not about minimalism for the sake of minimalism. It’s about minimalism just being the means to an end. And that end is a lighter life. It’s more time, space, and energy to focus on what really matters to you and spending less time on what doesn’t matter to you.

I think in our culture we fall into this status quo pattern where most people have homes that are full of clutter. Their closets, their spaces, their cupboards, their drawers are all overloaded with stuff. A lot of people also have garages that are full and overloaded with stuff, and bins in those garages that are also overloaded with stuff. And on top of that a lot of people also have storage units that are overloaded with stuff. 

We have this avoidance of making decisions, this issue with letting things go, and we hoard. But because not all of us have layers and layers of junk in our homes like on the show Hoarders we think that we don’t really have a problem. But the truth is what takes up your physical space, by nature, takes up your time. 

The stuff that you’ve accumulated, this stuff that you don’t even really want, use, or need is pulling at you. It’s stealing from you and robbing you of mental space, clarity, energy, and time that you could be spending on yourself, your relationship, your kids, your family members, your friendships, your business, your work, reading all those books that you’ve been meaning to read that you say you never have time for. These little minutes add up and add up and add up. 

Think about every appliance, every keepsake, every memory, every photo album, every piece of clothing, every stray sock, every pair of old shoes, every piece of paper and stray paperclip. We look around at all of these little things that are stacked and stacked on top of each other and shoved in drawers and in garages and we think this is normal. We think, “I’ve seen my friend’s garages, I’ve seen my mom’s closet. This is just normal.” 

Maybe it is normal, but normal is status quo. And I don’t believe that any of us are here to live a status quo life. I think we all need to get a lot more intentional and we need to honestly wake up in a lot of ways, in a lot of areas. This might seem small, but in my experience, it’s not. It’s everything. 

So I teach this philosophy, this method of minimalism not for the sake of minimalism. I don’t teach less for the sake of less. I teach that it’s less of what does not matter for the sake of more of what does matter. That’s the key difference when it comes to me, what I teach, and why I teach it. 

It’s also why you don’t hear me talk about minimalism a ton, the details of it, going over rules and how many things that you should keep. I don’t do all of that. People want me to because they get hung up on the number. They want me to tell them a specific way to do things, a specific number, a specific amount of everything, so they can just count and be done.

But I’m not going to do that because that would be minimalism for minimalism’s sake. I think that’s so legalistic, so empty, and also really pointless. I don’t care about that. I don’t care about the house, the stuff and how much time you spend cleaning. 

I care about that only as it relates to you living on purpose. I only care about that as it relates to you feeling lighter and feeling more mental clarity so you can respond better to your kids. So you can be more present. So you can have space to read those books and listen to those podcasts that are gonna help you uplevel and change your life and start the business that you’ve been saying you want to start but don’t have the time to. 

I’ve seen moms start to home educate their kid and they never thought they’d be able to do that, but they always wanted to. They are so much less overwhelmed from just getting the crap out of their homes that they have the space and mental clarity to do the things they’ve always wanted to do but said they didn’t have time and energy for. Women are finding that they actually have so much space in their weeks that they find themselves a little bored sometimes. And they feel guilty about that because it’s so counterculture. 

But that’s the thing about minimalism. It is counterculture. As much of a trend as it’s become, it’s still counterculture. When you live counterculture you get counterculture results, and that’s what I’m here to help you with. 

I want you to stop seeing minimalism as this limiting thing, as this set of rules you need to figure out and follow. So many of the women in my community have expressed frustration with me for not telling them how many towels to keep or how many jeans to keep. I’m never going to do that. I’m never going to do that because what works for me may not work for you. 

It’s not about the numbers. If I give you a number, you’re going to get hung up on it. You’re going to be following a set of rules that works for me. But my life is different than yours. 

So, I want to encourage you to use this idea of simplicity as a guide and not as a handicap. I want you to remember that it’s not about minimalism. It’s about being intentional. And being intentional is going to be relative to who you are, the life you live, the climate you live in and the way your family is. It’s going to be relative to everything. 

I need you to stop looking to me and to everyone else around you for the number of items you should keep, how you should arrange your clothes, what your closets should look like and how you should organize your bathroom. I want you to start looking at your life and asking, “Where are the gaps? Where am I not happy? Is my home even serving me? Is it helping me? Is it stealing from me? What is it that I need to shift? How can I set up my environment to support me and not pull at me? How can I set up my environment so that I’m no longer cleaning up after a life I’d rather be living and actually be present for?” 

That’s what this is really about. Having said that, I want to give you some specifics with one space in your home. One area that I think is really important is the master bedroom, so I thought it would be a good idea to use this as an example. 

Brian was supposed to be here recording this episode with me, but this amazing man is overwhelmed with stuff that he’s handling for us and our family. We are currently getting ready to move. We’re moving in a few days after this episode airs. There are things to be done, things to prepare, and phone calls to make. Right now he is handling all of that and taking it all off my plate, and I need to get this episode done so as not to make my team behind.

So, here I am—just me. I’m going to walk you through this without my bed-buddy and my partner in life to give his take. This episode would have been even more amazing if Brian were here, but here we are. 

When it comes to the bedroom, I really want to talk to you about creating what you want. If you are a single mom, you are going to have a different bedroom set up and set a different intent for that room than if you are married or living with somebody and you have somebody that’s sharing that space with you on a regular basis. 

That’s why I will always tell you the first thing that you need to do when you walk into a room and you get ready to declutter is to set the intent for the space. What do you want this room to feel like for you? What do you use this room for? Is your bedroom also your office? Is your bedroom somewhere that you come and crash at the end of a very long workday after working two or three jobs? What is it that’s happening here? What do you need it for? 

Brian and I have this conversation often. When we move, when we start over somewhere new, we revisit it and just check in with each other. There have been seasons where our bedroom has needed to have a desk in the corner. It has also needed to be an office, even though that is not my favorite thing. That’s not ideal. 

When I was first starting my business, our bedroom was also my office. Then I had my own office for a lot of years. I’m in my bedroom right now sitting on my bed with my microphone on a temporary desk in front of me recording this episode. So, even now, my bedroom is my office again for about a month because my lease on my office is up. 

We moved all my things out of there. My office furniture is currently in my garage while my desk, my iMac, and my recording equipment is on the desk upstairs in the room. I’m working from here until we move and I get my new office in our new home. So, it will ebb and flow. The point is it will change as you change. It will change as needed.

Girl, I can get your housework down to 30 minutes or less a day!

Are you having trouble believing me? I’m serious. This is what I do. This is why I love what I do so much. 

Housework should be extra. It shouldn’t be taking all your mental space, your time, and your energy. I know that you’ve heard me talk about decluttering. We’re talking about it right now. 

I know you’ve heard this before, but if you haven’t gotten in Your Uncluttered Home yet, you don’t understand how I can walk you through this. You don’t understand how I can help you simplify this. 

I know that decluttering feels like something extra. It feels like something you may not be able to accomplish because of your kids, your work. You’re busy, and you’re overwhelmed. But you’re overwhelmed because you need to declutter. 

If we can just stop this cycle and get this done, you’re going to have so much more return on your investment of the time that you let me help you walk you through this and get this done once and for all.

You’ll be cleaning less. You’ll be stressing less. You’ll be yelling less. You’re going to be a happier, more abundant version of yourself for yourself, for your kids, for the people in your life because you’re not stretched so thin and constantly cleaning up for everything to just fall apart and get dirty again in two seconds. 

Things change. Things shift. The things that are mundane should be in a mundane priority slot in your life. 

If your house is sucking you dry, taking up all your energy, and all your time, it’s not serving you. It’s not supposed to be that way. We’ve got to get out of this stuck mindset in our culture, put things in their place, literally and metaphorically, and not let this run us anymore. 

Here’s what’s going on. My course, Your Uncluttered Home is normally about $300. And right now it’s $197. It’s going to be like this for about 48 more hours at the time that you’re hearing this. 

So here’s the thing—this is rare. This normally happens only when we do our annual challenge in January, but this has been happening right now and I have the same deal for you. 

People wait for this. Please don’t miss out and then be like, “Dang it! I wish I would have just jumped in!”

$197. Lifetime access. 

I will help you. I will walk you through not only your entire house and tell you exactly what to do and how to do it, but the lifestyle changes that come with living simpler. I’m gonna help you with all of this! You can snag the $197 price right now until Wednesday night, August 5th, at midnight Pacific. 

It is going to go away for a good long while. This is the opportunity that you may have been waiting for! I just want to tell you it’s there. 

Let’s get that housework out of your friggin way and get you refocused on what really matters to you! Go grab it now!

Outside of right now—normally for myself and for Brian—it’s about creating a restful haven. For us, our home is literally everything. It’s where our kids do school because our kids are homeschooled. It’s where we spend 95% of our time. 

It’s where I run my business. My home is also centric to my business, so I take a lot of photos and videos of my home. My home is often on display for the sake of the business and for the sake of teaching what I teach all of you guys. There’s a lot of touches of work in my home. 

When it comes to my bedroom—outside of this temporary office situation before we move—I don’t want work to be in here. I want this to be a very restful haven. I want it to be cozy. 

If you have ever watched some of my videos you’ll notice that a lot of the time I do bring my phone tripod and do my live streams or record videos in my room because it’s cozy and I’m comfortable here. I feel very restful. It’s also very quiet and on an opposite corner of the house from where the kids hang out during the day. So, that’s not to say that I never bring work in here. 

It’s just that I don’t want to have an official office set up in here permanently because I want this to be a space where I can rest. I want it to be a space where Brian and I can breathe, reconnect, take care of ourselves, practice self-care, and just be with each other at the end of a long day. That’s the intent that I set. 

I’m also really, really big on baths for myself. I love taking baths and I’ve even got Brian hooked on it too, so he’s basically Chandler from FRIENDS at this point. I want my bathroom to be super relaxing. I want it to feel like a spa. 

I’ve got candles and crystals on the edge of my tub. I have a beautiful piece of art that hangs above my bathtub. I’ve got this beautiful curtain from Anthropology that scoops around the shower and the tub for privacy. I invest in really beautiful, natural bath bombs, bath salts, soaps, and things that feel like luxury to me. 

When I get in the bath, I don’t want to be surrounded by clutter. I don’t want cleaning wipes on the counter, Swiffer pads on the floor, or laundry everywhere. I don’t want that. I have invested in things that make my room feel like a safe, cozy, relaxing haven because this is my room. 

This is my space. This is where I restore my soul so I can get up the next morning and keep going and doing all the different things that I’m doing with all the different hats I’m wearing. It’s important. Setting the intent for this space is going to help me determine what does and does not stay in here. 

I don’t typically have my office stuff in here. I don’t bring a bunch of workbooks in here. My bookshelf in my bedroom is very much calming with self-development and personal books. I don’t have Tools of the Titans by Tim Ferriss on the bookshelf in my bedroom.

Every detail is thought out. I pour intention into this space. You’ll see my Himalayan salt rock lamp glowing by my bed. It’s really a soft, beautiful red and it’s so soothing when I’m sleeping. 

I have a Sonos speaker in my room where we play rain sounds at night to help us sleep. It’s like white noise. It helps me knock right out. 

My nightstand is empty except for these CBD melatonin gummies that I take some times if I can’t wind down and I need to go to bed on time. I have a journal and a pen. I have the book I’m currently reading. I have a little eye mask that you put on your eyes when you want to block out the light and go to sleep. I have a diffuser. That’s it. 

My nightstand is not a storage space for crap. It’s intentional. There’s an entirely empty drawer in my nightstand. It has two drawers and I only need a tiny bit of space in the one drawer. I have what I need. The candles that I pick to bring into my room are all relaxing scents. There is detail thought out. 

I could easily write this off and just say, “I’m really overwhelmed. I’m running a company. I’m creating jobs. I’m raising four kids. We’ve got a lot going on. We’re moving. I can’t be thinking about this”. 

Even when we were broke, I poured energy and effort into our space. One thing that I really appreciate about Brian is that he always remembers that. He always noticed that about me. He was always super attentive and grateful that I was like that. 

He didn’t tell me to stop wasting money that we didn’t have on extra details. He helped me find deals on things. He helped me find what I needed to make our space what I wanted it to be. He was always so grateful for those touches that I just naturally want to put in our home.

Even if this isn’t natural for you, if what I’m saying just sounds really nice, it’s just a little bit of intent. It’s just deciding to not let overwhelm take away little joys. Maybe you’d be less overwhelmed if you just had a little joy in your home and you set up your space to support you. 

We were watching Everybody Loves Raymond reruns a few weeks ago. I don’t really know why because it’s not really a show that we watch, but it happened that we were watching it. There was this episode where it showed Debra and Raymond in their bedroom getting ready to go to sleep and they had kids’ art, pictures of their kids, and kids’ stuff all over their bedroom. 

Umm…no! The last thing I want to see when I’m getting ready to have a sexy time with my husband at the end of a long day of kids asking me questions, homeschooling, and doing all my business stuff is frigging kid stuff in my room. 

I want to turn off the outside world. My husband is my priority. Myself and my rest is a priority. Once the kids go to bed, they’re in bed, they’re good. This is our space. 

I don’t put kids’ art in our room. I don’t put the kids awards in my room. I don’t even have pictures of my kids in my room. I have some photos of Brian and I. I have our wedding photo, an engagement photo, and a photo of just the two of us from a couple years ago. 

I have beautiful art that’s very serene and relaxing. I’ve got this beautiful bouquet of fake peonies in a big, beautiful, glass vase on my dresser. I’ve got my salt rock lamp. I’ve got an amethyst rock lamp. I’ve got some beautiful mirrors over my dresser to use as a vanity for when I get ready in the morning.

I invest in the best pillows. We invested in a really good mattress, which is a luxury we can do now but couldn’t before. You’ve got to work with what you’ve got. I’m putting plants in here and beautiful things that are going to make me feel happy to be in here. 

It’s my space. It’s my stuff. This is where I’m going to put things that are for me and for Brian. The last thing I’m going to put in here is photos of the kids and kids drawings. Or let the kids play in here and leave their toys and their dress up costumes in here on the floor. 

That’s not going to help me get in the mood. That’s not gonna help me get in the mood for sexy time or peaceful time. It’s not even about intimacy. It’s just about sanity. 

All this to say, walk into your bedroom today and look around. Look at the books that you’ve got on your nightstand and on your bookshelf. Look at the things that are on the floor. Look at the things that have rolled underneath your dresser. Look at the stuff that’s in your closet. 

Do you have a bunch of sentimental clutter that’s just bringing you down? Do you have anything from something that’s happened that was hard in your life just sitting in your closet that you subconsciously notice every single time you walk in there? Do you have any old dishes just collecting on the top of your dresser? Do you have Legos and kids’ toys shoved in drawers and stuck into the carpet? Is there old food?

What do you need? Do you need to put a trash can in your bathroom to make it cleaner and stop collecting stuff on the counters that you’re not taking downstairs to put in the trash can? Do you need to put a hamper somewhere to make the laundry not collect on the floor so much? What do you need to do? 

Do you need to purge your clothes and simplify your closet? Do you need to make more space? What do you need to do? 

Do you need to bring some beautiful pieces into your room, get some plants or some fake flowers that aren’t crappy and actually look good? Those are hard to find, but it’s possible. I wish I remembered where I got my peonies, but I don’t. What do you need? 

Do you need to swap out an ugly mirror that you’ve been hating and just get a pretty one that fits your style more? Do you need to add a piece of art? Do you want to get some bath salts? What do you need? 

Even if you’re on a really tight budget, walk into your room and allow yourself to feel, allow yourself to ask what would really help you create a haven for yourself in there. What’s your intent for this space? This is what minimalism is about. I’m probably the only minimalist you’re going to hear telling you that you should maybe buy some stuff to make your home better. 

It’s not about less. It’s not about having nothing. It’s about having what brings you happiness and sets you up to live a good life. What do you need to do to feel that way? 

How can you use minimalism and simplicity as a guide and stop letting it handicap you, limit you, and make you feel like you have all these rules to follow? How can you look through your home? Let’s start with the bedroom since we talked about that today. 

What would make you happy? Could you get some beautiful seashells in a big glass bowl and set them on your dresser? Could you get some fresh flowers delivered every other week and put them in your bedroom for when you get ready for the day? Do you need to get some room spray that just smells really fresh? Some pillow spray? 

Do you need to get a beautiful candle? Do you want to put some crystals by your bed? Do you want to get a plant, some succulents? Do you need to organize your clothing differently? 

Think outside the box and ask yourself what would make this clearer for you. Pay attention to the books that you have in your room and the things that are in your room. This is not a place to store packages that haven’t been opened yet or old makeup you were supposed to return and you forgot. Make decisions, girl! Purge that space and create a haven for yourself!

I want to hear from you guys on this. Feel free to go in The Purpose Show Community on Facebook and ask questions about this. Take before and after pictures of your bedroom if you’re comfortable doing that and it doesn’t feel weird to you. Share what you have done and what you still feel like you need help with. What do you feel like is a struggle for you? What are you having a hard time letting go of?

Let the beautiful women in my community support you. This community honestly should have a monthly fee attached to it and it doesn’t. It’s free. Those women are so helpful. 

I’m in there. My admins are in there. There’s a team of people who are ready to support you and help you. 

I just want to encourage you. Don’t just listen to this episode and then do nothing. Really figure it out. 

Do you need to store your jewelry in a better way that helps you see what your options are, that helps you feel more organized and get things off the countertops and onto the walls? How can you use vertical space to make things more organized and clear? 

How can you set yourself up for success in your room so you can start and end your day, maybe sneak in there for a midday nap every once in a while, and actually feel like your environment is conducive to rest and replenishing your tired spirit? This is important. 

I want to hear from you guys. Share on Instagram. Make sure you tag me. Go in The Purpose Show community on Facebook and post the photos like I talked about. Do what you need to do to take action on this and feel supported. 

I love you guys so much!  Here’s to minimalism that’s not limiting, that’s super, super freeing for you.

Thanks so much for hanging out with me! In case you didn’t know, there’s actually an exclusive community that’s been created solely for the purpose of continuing discussions around The Purpose Show episodes. It’s designed to get you to actually take action and make the positive changes that we talk about here. I want you to go and be a part of it. To do that, go to

Thank you so much for tuning in! If you’d like to learn more about me, how I can help you, how you can implement all these things and more into your life to make it simpler, better, and more abundant, head to There are free downloads, online courses, programs, and other resources to help you create the life you really want. 

I am always rooting for you, friend! See you next time! I’m Allie Casazza and this is The Purpose Show.

Hey mama! Just a quick note, this post may contain affiliate links.

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