Today I’m talking about making mistakes. This is a pep-talk-kind-of-episode, because you are a frickin’ human and you are allowed to make mistakes. Let’s jump in, babe!
In This Episode Allie Discusses:
The pressure to be perfect
Judgment from other people
The fear of making a mistake
Mentioned in this Episode:
Courses (Use the code PURPOSESHOW for 10% off!)
The Purpose Show Facebook Community
EP 017: It’s Ok To Change Your Mind!
Mom life. We’re surrounded by the message that it’s the tired life. The no-time-for-myself life. The hard life. We’re supposed to get through it. Survive. Cling on by the last little thread. And at the same time, Carpe Diem—enjoy every moment because it’s going to go by so fast. The typical mom culture that sends us all kinds of mixed, typically negative messages. We shouldn’t take care of ourselves; it’s selfish. The more ragged you run yourself, the bigger your badge of honor. But also, ditch your mom bod and work out. Don’t yell. Make more money. Show up. Be better, but not at the expense of time with your kids. I am putting a hard stop to all of this. While being a mom, running a business, and whatever else you might have going on is hard, it is a lot and there’s lots of giving of yourself, the idea that motherhood means living a joyless, nonstop-hustle-with-zero-balance kind of life, where you give and give and give and never take, needs to stop.
I’m on a mission to help you stop counting down the minutes till bedtime (at least most days). Stop the mom guilt and shame game. Stop cleaning up after your kids’ childhood and start being present for it. I want to help you thrive in work, home and life. I believe in John 10:10 that we are called to living an abundant life and I know moms are not excluded from that promise. Join me in conversations about simplicity, some business and life hacks, spirituality and lots of other good stuff that leads to a life of less for the sake of enjoying more in your motherhood. I’m Allie Casazza and this is The Purpose Show.
Hello, my loves! This episode is going to be a quickie. We are going to talk real quick, pep-talk-style about making mistakes.
I don’t know if you guys remember the episode I did a couple years back about how you’re allowed to change your mind? It’s okay to change your mind is still one of the most popular episodes, one of the most downloaded.
It’s funny because it’s so clear, it’s so simple and obvious that you are allowed to change your mind about things. But so often we don’t feel like we are. We’re holding ourselves up to this perfect standard set by ourselves, society, our families, someone in our life, nobody. We just feel we need to live up to it for some reason.
With this episode I want to follow a similar style and just talk about the fact that you are allowed to make mistakes. This weighs on me often. This is an episode that I’m going to need to come back to on a regular basis because I hold myself to a high standard. I’m an oldest child; it kind of comes with the territory.
I’m also in the public eye a bit, and when you are people don’t view you as a person. They view you with a standard—set by them—of what they believe you should be doing with your family, with your platform, with your voice, with your Instagram account, with your podcast, with your husband, with everything.
With every opportunity that I am given there are people who look at it through the lens of their standard and ask, “Is she doing what she should be doing?” And they don’t even realize, they don’t step outside of the narcissism for a second enough to notice that what I “should be” doing is completely relative. It’s my life, not theirs.
Even if you’re not a person of influence this is a pressure. We feel pressure to be perfect. We feel like we’re not allowed to make mistakes. We feel like we’re going to be judged.
And the fact is we’re right. People are so judgmental these days. I think it’s a mix of social media and also the year 2020 has brought out the most judgmental energy in everyone. It’s awful. It’s scary to be online.
Everyone’s like, “Oh, Instagram is so fake. Everyone’s just showing a positive reel. It’s not the real life they are living.”
Well, yeah, because everyone is fricking terrified to share. If you are vulnerable, open, and you share that you made a mistake a lot of people say, “Thank you for sharing this.” But there are also people who are shaming you and raking you through the coals for making a mistake.
And God forbid you make a mistake and don’t admit it online and somebody finds out. You get messages and comments like, “Oh, you’re a fraud. I can’t believe you. I heard that you did this.”
My goodness. Live your freaking life and get away from me.
This is a simple reminder that you are human. You’re a human person and you’re going to make mistakes. Apologize when you need to, address it when you need to, and move on.
We don’t need to shame ourselves. We don’t need to blame ourselves or blame someone else. We don’t need to go careening into self hatred or panic. You’re a human person. That’s all.
So much of the time I hear from women who DM me and they share privately something that happened, something that was done by them, a mistake that they made. And the way they’re talking about it you’d think that they committed a murder. And it’s just something simple like they sent their kids back to school during COVID and they regret it. Everyone’s mad at them and judging them. They pulled their kids back out but they’re still dealing with the repercussions.
(I know I’m going to get DM’s about that example that I just gave, and if you do DM me in a hateful way about that example, you are making my point, so thank you).
Parents are saying, “I don’t know what to do. I don’t know what choice to make. What is your family doing for this issue because I don’t want to make a mistake?”
We’re so afraid of making a mistake, we’re not giving ourselves room to live. You are going to make mistakes. Do your research about things. Do the next right thing. Do what you feel is the right thing to do.
If you make a mindless move and you make a mistake, pull it back, apologize when needed, and move on. You don’t need to sit in self hate. You don’t need to stew in the regret, the guilt, and all of these heavy feelings that are keeping you from being the mom you need to be, from being the person that you need to be.
My point is you’re allowed to make mistakes. If somebody is not allowing you to make mistakes, move on from them. You are allowed. You are doing your best. It is enough that you are doing your best.
You are not called to uphold someone else’s standards or your high, ridiculous, unrealistic standards for yourself and be trying to live up to them every day, measuring how each day goes by how close you got to the mark.
You are allowed to make mistakes.
Whoever needed to hear this, I got you.
Thanks so much for hanging out with me! In case you didn’t know, there’s actually an exclusive community that’s been created solely for the purpose of continuing discussions around The Purpose Show episodes. It’s designed to get you to actually take action and make the positive changes that we talk about here. I want you to go and be a part of it. To do that, go to alliecasazza.com/facebookgroup.
Thank you so much for tuning in! If you’d like to learn more about me, how I can help you, how you can implement all these things and more into your life to make it simpler, better, and more abundant, head to alliecasazza.com. There are free downloads, online courses, programs, and other resources to help you create the life you really want.
I am always rooting for you, friend! See you next time! I’m Allie Casazza and this is The Purpose Show.
Hey mama! Just a quick note, this post may contain affiliate links.