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Self-Sabotage Quiz

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Hello friends! Let’s talk about something real today—self-sabotage, particularly the chaos we tend to create when things are going too good. You know that moment when life feels calm, peaceful, or even successful, and then, bam—you find yourself picking a fight with your partner, procrastinating on work, or overspending for no reason? Yeah, that’s self-sabotage, and it’s a sneaky pattern many of us fall into. But the good news is, once we become aware of it, we can take action to break free.

Why Do We Create Chaos in Our Lives?

Before we dive into how to stop the cycle, let’s explore why it happens in the first place. Often, self-sabotage stems from a deep-rooted discomfort with peace or success. While consciously, we want progress and stability, our subconscious mind might be operating with a different program—one that sees peace as unfamiliar, uncomfortable, or even dangerous.

Your subconscious mind is always working to keep you safe, and if chaos is what you’ve known, that becomes its version of “safe.” It will do anything to maintain the status quo, even if that means disrupting your happiness, peace, or progress. If you’ve experienced chaos, drama, or instability in the past (like growing up in a turbulent household), your brain might equate peace with discomfort, leading you to create drama where there doesn’t need to be any.

Signs of Self-Sabotage Through Chaos Creation

So how do you know if you’re engaging in self-sabotaging behavior? Some signs include:

• Procrastination: Delaying tasks when everything is going smoothly.
• Picking fights: Creating unnecessary conflict in your relationships without a clear reason.
• Losing interest in projects: Dropping exciting projects just as they’re gaining momentum.
• Overthinking: Creating problems where none exist, leading to unnecessary stress.

If you see yourself in any of these patterns, know that you’re not alone. The first step to breaking the cycle is becoming aware of it.

The Real Reason Behind Self-Sabotage: Fear and Unworthiness

At the core of self-sabotage, there are two main reasons we create chaos in our lives:

1. Fear of the unknown: Success and stability might feel unfamiliar, and anything unfamiliar gets flagged as “unsafe” by your brain. So, even though you want progress, your subconscious pulls you back to chaos because it feels safer.
2. Feelings of unworthiness: You might have internalized beliefs that you don’t deserve happiness, success, or unconditional love. So when things start going well, you subconsciously sabotage them because deep down, you don’t believe you’re worthy of those good things.

Understanding the Chaos Creation Cycle

Let’s break down how this self-sabotage cycle unfolds. When life starts to feel peaceful or successful, your brain—programmed to associate chaos with safety—initiates actions that bring back that familiar chaos. This could be picking fights, creating unnecessary stress at work, or sabotaging your finances. While these actions feel very real and urgent in the moment, they’re often rooted in subconscious discomfort with stability and peace.

For example, you might get a big financial win, but then suddenly find yourself spending impulsively, wiping out your progress. Or your relationship might be going great, and then, out of nowhere, you start picking at little things, turning minor annoyances into full-blown arguments.

The chaos creation cycle is often driven by one of two things:

• Fear of the unknown: Success and peace can feel unfamiliar, and the unknown can trigger discomfort. This leads you to revert to the comfort of chaos, even though consciously you want peace.
• Feelings of unworthiness: Deep down, you might not believe you deserve the good things coming your way, so you sabotage them before they can fully take root.

How to Break the Cycle

The great news is that you can break free from this cycle. Here’s how:

1. Mindfulness and Awareness

The first step to breaking any cycle is becoming aware of it. Start by recognizing when you’re about to create chaos. Maybe you catch yourself starting an unnecessary argument or delaying a task that’s crucial to your progress. When you feel that urge, take a deep breath and pause. Awareness is key here—you can’t change what you don’t recognize.

2. Accepting Peace

One of the most powerful things you can do is learn to accept peace. Ask yourself, Why am I uncomfortable with peace? What would happen if I allowed myself to sit in stillness without creating drama? Often, those of us who grew up in chaotic environments find peace to be boring or unsettling. Start training your mind to embrace calm, even if it feels foreign at first.

3. Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT)

EFT, or tapping, is one of my favorite tools to reprogram the subconscious mind. I use it almost every day, and it has made a huge difference in how I handle peace and chaos. EFT works by tapping on acupressure points while repeating affirmations, which helps release the negative energy tied to old patterns. It’s an incredibly effective way to train your mind to become comfortable with peace.

4. Reframe Your Thoughts

When you feel the chaos creeping in, try to see the situation from a different perspective. For example, if your partner is doing something mildly annoying, instead of letting it spiral into a fight, remind yourself of their good intentions. Train your mind to look for the positive angle, and you’ll find that the urge to create drama fades.

5. Create a New Routine

Structure and routine are powerful tools for breaking the self-sabotage cycle. When you establish a daily routine, you teach your brain that peace and stability are the new normal. My Becoming Her daily ritual is an easy, 25-minute routine that combines visualization, EFT, and positive self-talk to reset your nervous system. Commit to a new routine for 21–30 days, and watch how your relationship with peace transforms.

Channeling Energy Into Positive Projects

If you’re someone who thrives on having a lot going on (like me!), it’s important to channel that energy into positive outlets. Instead of creating chaos in your relationships or work, direct your energy toward a new project or hobby. Start that home renovation you’ve been putting off, or dive into learning a new skill. When your energy is channeled into creation instead of destruction, your life becomes more fulfilling—and peaceful.

Healthy Alternatives to Chaos Creation

Breaking free from the chaos creation cycle doesn’t mean you have to stop being busy or active. It just means you’re redirecting that energy into healthier outlets. Here are a few ways to keep yourself engaged without sabotaging your peace:

• Start a new project: Whether it’s a house project or a creative endeavor, channel your energy into something productive.
• Invest in meaningful relationships: Spend time building deep, supportive relationships that fulfill you and reduce the need for drama.
• Set and achieve goals: Progress toward something meaningful instead of creating chaos. Goal-setting helps channel your energy in a productive way.
• Create a peaceful routine: A daily routine fosters stability and peace. Start with small, consistent habits, like journaling, meditation, or my Becoming Her daily ritual.

Final Thoughts

Breaking the cycle of self-sabotage takes time, but it’s absolutely possible. The key is awareness, compassion for yourself, and creating routines that support peace and stability. You deserve a life filled with joy and progress, and you can train your brain to thrive in that space.

To take your self-awareness even further, I’ve created a Self-Sabotage Quiz that will help you identify your specific patterns and give you tailored action steps to overcome them. It’s free, and you can grab it here.

Remember, this journey takes time, but you’re worth the effort. Let’s break free from chaos and create a life where peace, progress, and success are the new normal.